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i hate my father and i just want him to get out of my life

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  • i hate my father and i just want him to get out of my life

    i'm 15 and all my life by father has been emotionally, verbally, mentally and psychologically abusive (he's rarely physical but he used to hit me sometimes when i was younger). i feel like the abuse got worse after i started high school and suddenly there was so much pressure from both school and my home life. i've had suicidal thoughts all the time but not because i want to die, like ******** no, it's more because i just can't live like this anymore. my father's an immigrant and i've always used that as an excuse for his behaviour in the past. he's come to this country looking for a better life for his children so of course he's going to be stricter than normal parents. but seriously, it's just suffocating at this point. he's unhappy with my mum, my sweet mother who is the only parental figure i actually love. he takes that anger out on me because divorce in our community is a taboo. so more than my mother facing his wrath, it's me. i always thought i could make it out until i finished high school, like i'll graduate in 2022, but it's just getting so unbearable, i don't know what to do anymore. i was doing fine last year, i moved to a school that was far away and so the commute was long and it kept me out of the house for ages and i had the courage to finally talk to my school counsellor and so i thought i was doing alright. but then of course, like every other time, he has to move me to another school where i'm so, so unhappy, where i get home in 10 minutes, where i hate going. and now i just feel so alone with the covid thing happening. my friends from my old school and i are drifting apart and i haven't made any real friends at my new school and lockdown has me in the house 24/7 and i just can't do this anymore.

  • #2
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
    You don’t deserve to be treated this way and feel so oppressed by your father. COVID transitions are hard for everyone and you deserve to be treated with support and understanding instead of yelling and threats. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe and stay strong,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)


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