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Unsure of what to do.

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  • ccsmod8
    Hello there -

    Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on.

    It sounds like you want to find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. Even writing something out and posting it to a public forum is a great way to let those thoughts and feelings out that have been building inside of you. There might even be other youth reading this and relate to what you are going through. Giving them courage to reach out to someone for help as well.

    We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse. You can chat with us by going to our website ( and clicking on "chat".

    We certainly want to help you.

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    Guest started a topic Unsure of what to do.

    Unsure of what to do.

    To start, I'm a 14-year-old male and my home situation is and has been bad since I was a kid, around 7. My mother is a drug addict and goes to other people's houses all the time, presumably to do crack, specifically, probably alone with other prescription meds. I know this since, throughout my late childhood and early teen years, I've caught her doing crack along with other pills. Each time I caught her the first words from her mouth were "Will you tell dad," and it's pretty sickening, I don't talk to her much at all anymore, although I, her, and my father live together. At this point I'm just waiting for her to overdose, crash her car while high, or get arrested, I don't care what happens to her anymore.

    My father, on the other hand, I'm pretty sure is narcissistic, he's fine to me half the time, but the other half the time it's verbal abuse and various threats from leaving (which is honestly preferable), violence, or restricting my freedoms, all over petty things, like simply asking him to turn down his TV, sometimes I think he plays it loud on purpose. He also hates my mother but keeps giving her more chances when she's been good for only like a week. Finally, he's looking into renting us an apartment from a family member, hopefully, to finally kick my mother to the curb, as our trailer (we live in a trailer park) is under her name.

    I've been thinking of running away, since I don't want to stay with my father anymore, for a matter a fact, I love it when he goes to work. But other than work, he doesn't really leave the house, making weekends hell for me. Running away I'm pretty sure is my only option, since I've had a bad history with CPS, long story short, my older sister who resents me falsely called CPS on my parents when I was a kid, and CPS did some shady things that I don't think I can say without identifying myself, but needless to say, I don't trust CPS. I don't have an active plan to run away but I'll start planning instantly whenever an opportunity comes, like when someone I know can shelter me. I don't have any other siblings, except for a half-sister, but she's close with my father and the rest of my family is also as they are his side. I don't talk to my mother's side of the family.

    I don't know why I made this post, I think I'm just exploring my options, and maybe to get some advice, because I won't last with my father till' I'm 18. At some point, I think I'll just live with a friend.
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