I’m 19 and am thinking about running away

[Guest]

Since I was a child my parents never really had trust in me, but I know that’s my fault cause I started lying to them a lot, but it was never anything serious, it was always about something simple never anything big.
I was and am always a good student and always got good grades, as soon as I was old enough to work I went to work because I wanted to get out of the house so I didn’t have to deal with my parents a lot. Me and my dad bunt heads ALL THE TIME. And he swears that if he didn’t put me to watch my 4 younger siblings that I would have been pregnant by now. If I have a boyfriend he won’t let me talk to him or hangout with him unless my dads around and can eavesdrop on my conversation :/ my dad has given me all the responsibility of an adult but treats me as if I’m a child. He makes me pay rent, and my insurance (which I don’t mind) but tells me I’m only aloud to work 20-25 hrs a week. My insurance is 300$ and the rent is 200$(my portion) I DONT get that much in one check and with two checks it’s literally like $600 that I make. I can’t go out unless I take one of my little brothers and I can’t hang out with anyone of my friends unless they come over to my house. I’m fed up with it, I have all my bags packed and I figured out everything. But now I’m just debating if it is a good choice. I don’t want to cut ties with my parents. But I’m tired of being sad and locked up in my house and only when it’s convenient for them to let me out they do.
Also my parents are Christian and Mexican so they sit heavy on the “you are my responsibility until you get married, and you can’t get married till you finish school and get a career and unless I say it’s okay for you to marry someone”
please help me :/

[ccsmod0]

Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

[Guest]

I am about to turn 19 in November. I am Indian and my parents are the same as yours as per your description. I have been physically and mentally abused since i was a little girl. I recently went to a doctor who then told me i have clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder. The doctor suggested i go get help from a therapist but my dad wouldn’t let me because he believes everyone has depression and they should just learn how to deal with it. We fight everyday. Voices are raised and it never ends well. I have had suicidal thoughts many times. Today also i had them after another fight. I have a job and i am a college student. I have a 4.0 gpa and yet nothing seems to please them. I am only staying in this house because of my little brother. I don’t want him to suffer like i do everyday. I don’t make enough money to live on my own or to even pay college tuition. I have tried my best to make them proud but I don’t see any happiness from them. I see disappointment on their faces when they look at me. I have a boyfriend who has many times offered his home to me. I feel like i will owe him my life if i take his offer. I cry every night to bed and wake up feeling more depressed than ever. I don’t know if i can stay here anymore because I don’t feel welcomed here. I try to lock myself in my room to avoid any conflict with anyone in the house. I feel lonely and sad. I have no life except college and work. I wanna runaway.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and stay strong,
NRS