scared for dear life.

[Guest]

i think i may be pregnant, but i dont know for sure. i've been feelinq super sick and im 'late'. it could be the stress thats making me sick, and my monthly fluctuates a lot.

but if i am pregnant i know my dad would beat me up and make my baby's father dissappear. i dont want anything to happen to my baby.
besides that he would probably kick me out anyway.
cant i just leave before he finds out ?

[ccsmod1]

Re: scared for dear life.

Thanks for sharing a little bit about what’s going on. From what you wrote, you sound really worried about the possibility that you’re pregnant. First, it seems like it might be beneficial to find out for sure if you are pregnant. In most states, you can do this without your parent’s permission and knowledge. The website www.sexetc.org had a breakdown of each state’s laws and minor’s rights. If you go to the website, click on “Sex in the States” on the left-hand side and then select your state to see the laws concerning sexual health. There’s also a hotline that can connect you to your local Planned Parenthood should you chose to go to a clinic to get tested. The number is 1-800-230-7526. You can also go to their website if you want to find a clinic that way, www.plannedparenthood.org. Often health clinics also have counselors on staff if you want to talk to them about your concerns if you find out you are in fact pregnant.

It sounds like you feel scared that if you are pregnant your dad will be violent and possibly kick you out. What makes you feel like this would be his reaction? It’s probably really difficult to not only have the unknown about the pregnancy but also about your dad’s reaction.

When you ask if you can just leave, what exactly do you mean by this? If you were to leave, would you have a safe place to go? Sometimes when you’re a minor it’s not just as easy as “leaving”, since there are laws that you have to live with your parents/guardians until you turn the age of majority (18 in most states). One exception to this is if there is abuse or neglect in the home. If this is the case, you can call the Child Protective Services and make a report. If this was an option you wanted to explore further, we’d be happy to help you. We can also, if needed, help you make a conference call to the local CPS to make a report. There are also shelters that youth can go to when they don’t have anywhere else. One important thing to know about shelters though is that they have to contact the youth’s parents/guardians or CPS in order for the youth to stay there. Sometimes they’ll let you stay for a day or two before doing this. If you were interested in finding out more about local shelters, here’s a link that may have useful information: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/fysb/co ... locate.htm

We’d be happy to talk to you more in depth about any of this. We’re a completely confidential hotline. We’re not here to tell you what to do or what not to do, but rather want to help you talk through different options and come up with a plan that you feel comfortable with. Your safety is the first priority. Someone is always available here, day and night, so call anytime.

[Guest]

Re: scared for dear life.

Thank you for the websites.
when my dad found out i had unprotected sex he beat me up. and he told me that he was gonna hurt the guy. plus, i know how my dad is, violence is all he knows anyway.

i know my dad will kick me out, because he's done it before and he did it recently to my older brother and my older brother has been gone for about 2 and a half months now.
is the age of majority 16 in pa ? if so, my birthday is coming up .. so i hope that wont be a problem.
and if i am pregnant i would have to give my baby up for adoption cuz i cant take care of him.
i can barely take care of myself, let alone a child.

[ccsmod3]

Re: scared for dear life.

We’re glad you were able to make use of the websites. It must be pretty scary to feel like your dad is going to kick you out if you are pregnant. In most states, a parent cannot legally kick out a minor, however; that does not mean it never happens. Many states have lockout laws though and CPS will often consider this neglect. If you find yourself in that situation, you can call us at anytime and we can either conference with CPS and/or help you find somewhere safe to go.

Have you thought anymore about confirming whether or not you are pregnant? We listed some places you might contact in order to do this such as Planned Parenthood, otherwise have you thought about buying or having someone else buy a home pregnancy test?
If you are pregnant it sounds like you would consider giving the baby up for adoption. Below are some adoption resources that may be of help for you.

National Birthright
1-800-550-4900
www.birthright.org

American Adoptions
1-800-ADOPTION (236-7846)
www.americanadoptions.com

You also asked about whether the age of majority is 16 in PA. We are not legal experts, but as we stated before this is 18 in most states. For more detailed information, you can always call your local police department. To our knowledge the only way a 16 year old can gain the rights of majority is through emancipation through the court system. Pennsylvania has a website called the Juvenile Law Center, www.jlc.org, where you can find more information. Again, we are not here to tell you what to do, but if you would like to continue talking about your situation at 1-800-RUNAWAY, you are welcome to do so. We look forward to hearing from you.

-NRS