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Toxic household

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  • Toxic household

    Hello I am 17 and live in Texas. My relationship has always been rocky with my mother but recently it has become unbearable to the point she says to my face “I don’t care if you feel threatened.”, “I don’t care how you feel.”, and “I refuse to talk to you unless it’s with a therapist.”. She will hold things above my head like she will refuse to pay for my college unless I start going to see a therapist. She uses a lot of these threats. I have depression. I’ve started to self harm myself and living with her gives me suicidal thoughts. I want to tell my parents these things but I feel like she will either not care or will blow it up and put me in a facility before I turn 18. I hate going to a therapist the last time I went I just felt bad about myself the whole time. I feel like the only reason I would go is to get medication but I’m afraid I will use it to hurt myself. I don’t really have any evidence of how horrible she’s been treating me and my father ignores it. The only thing that really makes me feel better is being able to go out with my friends and forget about her. Being able to get away from her really does a wonder for my health and it give me a positive outlook once I get back to my house. I want to start leaving during the day with a friend and coming home to sleep. My father is not a father figure and let’s her make all the decisions regarding me going where I please. I feel like if I share him that I want to leave that he will support me. He is not a bad father he just doesn’t like making decisions. If I leave what can she take from from? Can I refuse to handover my phone(which me and my parents have agreed that I will be paying for) or belongings that I take with me? Can she call the police and force me to come home even if my father thinks it best that I stay away from her? I have a camping trip planned with some of my friends in a week that I’m surprised that she agreed to and I fear like she’ll try stopping me from leaving because of a recent fight. Is it ok for me to leave days on end if my father knows I’m with a safe family or if I’m with friends? What can I do?! I feel trapped.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-07-2020, 12:58 AM.

  • #2

    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent/guardian permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, they may file you as a runaway and if picked up by the police you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. You might consider asking your father to sign a permission letter giving you the legal right to be on a camping trip or etc.
    For more specifics on the law, contact the local non-emergency number to the police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

    Because of the emotional stress you have felt under trying to cope with the situation we encourage you to reach out for support if you are feeling depressed or suicidal.
    To get help contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
    There is also the NAMI helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button).

    Be safe,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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