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13 almost 14, possibly abused, wanting to run away since i was 9

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  • 13 almost 14, possibly abused, wanting to run away since i was 9

    im not very good at wording, but i'll try my best.
    i'm 13 years old, turning 14 before the end of January. I have moderate to severe anxiety as well as Sensory Processing Disorder. I like to think I'm pretty book-smart, and I really don't want to throw away my future, and i want to get a good education,
    but home life is rough.
    im not too sure if it really counts as abuse, but my family is dysfunctional to say the least.
    my mom is sorta dependent on me, and she often beats herself up about things and says self-deprecating things and relies on me to cheer her up.
    a lot of times when we get in fights she calls me selfish, **********y, bratty, ungrateful, stuff like that.
    then, when i say "that hurt my feelings" she occasionally says "i never said that"
    the other month she told my brother that he was "the good sibling"
    sometimes i forget to take my medication, and when that happens she or my dad yell at me until i take it.
    when i get upset and have a breakdown they just get mad at me and tell me to stop hiding in the other room and stop crying so loudly.
    a lot of times when i cry really loudly they say "people are gonna call the police and get you taken away"
    once when i told my mom i didnt like living with my family she said "if you run away the police are gonna come and put me and dad in jail and youll have to live in a ********ty foster home"
    my parents always expect me to act like an adult and if i have insomnia and cant sleep they say its my fault or that i dont even have insomnia im just lying so i dont have to go to bed
    they get me expensive gifts but they arent even the gifts i want, i asked for markers for christmas and they got me a laptop. i asked them not to get me a laptop.
    i feel like im just being ungrateful
    the family goes to therapy together but i dont think its working and a lot of it focuses on how to say things "without hurting dad's feelings" because hes immature and gets easily hurt and he always has to be right or else hes angry
    and idk i feel bad for not liking my family im just selfish and everyone has to go through this im being a brat
    i want to run away but i have nowhere to go, i dont have many friends and my parents know where they all live. the last time i tried to run away which was back when i was 11, they called the police on me and the police chased me while i was running away from them crying
    my whole life i've been terrified of law enforcement and i dont want to get the cops called again
    please help
    im grounded right now for not cleaning up one of my art projects so i cant call on a phone, i just found where my dad hid my laptop so im using it. ill be ungrounded on monday

  • #2
    Re: 13 almost 14, possibly abused, wanting to run away since i was 9

    Hi and thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

    It seems we have already assisted you and this situation earlier over the phone. Here at NRS we just want to make sure that we are not duplicating services.

    We appreciate you contacting us, and hope you'll reach out to us again if you need help in the future.

    Best,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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