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  • Help me asap

    Hello [...] I’m 14 years old and I’m stuck trying to figure out weather I should runaway or call cps on my mother. All my life my mother has been very toxic and manipulative, she would always get high off of weed and I would catch her staring into space and at a young age I never knew what was wrong with her. Growing up I always been feminine and mother would always try to change that, for an example I used to dance for a dance team my mother was paying for and at the auditions she told me that I needed to dance more masculine and more harder because I was to soft and girly. A few months later my mom stop paying for me to go because she said it was to many girls there and They were making me too emotional, so now after years of wanting to be a dancer I finally gave up my dream because I guess it is what my “mother wanted”. I should also include that I had been in the system before but my father had stepped up and took me into his care. Recently I was packing my clothes to go spend a few days at family friends house, In the midsts of me packing my mother bust open my door and demands me to give her my phone and mind you I never even said a word to her half of the day because everything I do or say is a problem, but anyway I gave her my name phone and she walked out. Right when I was about to head out the door she says to me that I couldn’t go because I she doesn’t want me to go anywhere while she goes to work but mind you I asked her to go ahead of time, Minutes go by and she finally lets me go but before I got to leave she handed me my phone so I can call someone she told me to leave my phone at home when I leave but so ended up taking it. When I got back home my mother started yelling and telling me that I’m sneaky and ect because I took my phone mind you when I was gone she went in my room looking for the phone leaving my room a mess so when I got back I had to clean her mess which I’m already used to because she’s lazy and she doesn’t clean up around the house “I DO” if she makes dinner or breakfast I would have to clean up the mess she made, but back on track she took my phone and she told me to give her the password, so I gave her the password and she looked through my phone when she looked through my phone she looked through the pictures first and she found pictures of me looking very feminine. She called me into her room and asked if I was gay and of course I was scared and just stared at her but she forced it out of me so I said yes after that she went on a big rant about how the system wants boys to be that way and how it’s going to be hard to be black and gay in America but I wasn’t really listening because I was too busy crying. The next day she woke me up and started yelling at me because she found out that I was talking to a boy my age and she found pictures in the text conversation of us nude and she also found gay porn in my phone, when I tell you I was so embarrassed and hurt I felt like the whole world had seen this stuff. After that day she took me and little brother to take pictures as a family she told me to hide my emotions on that day for her because she wanted the pictures to come out looking like a happy family but really on the inside I was still shocked and embarrassed from that day. The same day of the photoshoot my mother’s friends had arranged her a baby shower and they invited my family, I was so uncomfortable because she saw me nude and I was also sad because she had told me that I couldn’t be myself and that I only could contribute in that lifestyle when I turn 18 she also had told me that she was going to make me play football and that she was going to call her cousins to beat me up. At the end of the party I asked her if I can go to my grandmas house and she said yes, In the car with my granny I had told her everything that happened because I Didn’t want to hold those feelings in any longer. I’m so grateful that my granny was so understanding even though she did tell me I was too young to be sharing photos like that I still felt great that someone is accepting of me. When my mom came to pick me up she noticed that I had something in my jacked so she told me to open it so I did, when I opened my jacket a beer had fell out when my mom saw it she immediately started to physical assault while she is pregnant at the moment she was punching me I was trying to runaway and and leave but she kept pulling me back in the house my granny had to calm her down because she could “hurt the baby”. My granny had asked me why did I want to drink and I told her because I want to forget about everything and feel numb so my mom called her baby father he he told her that he was going to get me drunk, so my mother dropped me off at his place. When I got there he had got us a big can of 2/11 beer and he told me if I didn’t drink it all he was going to punch me up so of course I drank it all. That day I think I had 4 beers and I got super drunk and currently right now I’m waiting for him to drop me at my mothers house so what should I do.
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 07-31-2020, 01:12 PM.

  • #2
    Hi there,

    Thank you for sharing all that. You are very courageous to open up to us about what you are going through. It's also great that you were able to share what you are feeling with your grandma, who seems to be supportive of you. We encourage you to try to get as much help as you possibly can while you navigate this difficult situation.

    You do not deserve to be hit, ridiculed for who you are, stifled, or made to drink alcohol under threat. Much of what you describe is actually abuse and you have the right to file a report on such behavior. You can do that through us, through your state's child abuse reporting hotline, or through Child Help ( at 1-800-422-4453. Of course, whether or not you decide to file is up to you. We never tell anyone what to do.

    Since you are not being supported at home the way you deserve we'd like to share a couple LGBTQ resources you may find helpful:

    LGBT National Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743

    LGBT National Hotline ( 1-888-843-4564

    The Trevor Project ( 1-866-488-7386

    All of the above hotlines can really offer a lot of support and help. Even just talking things through can be good.

    We are pretty concerned when you talk about drinking to just numb things out. While alcohol or drugs might seem like a good idea in the short term, they can cause a lot of problems in the long term. Even right now, drugs or alcohol can cause problems for your still developing mind and body. Please consider trying to handle this difficult time with as much clarity as possible. You aren't "bad" for using alcohol, but it will likely lead to more harm than good. If you'd like to talk to someone about drugs, alcohol, or mental illness you can reach out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Adminstration ( at 1-800-662-HELP.

    As for what you should do in the immediate now: we really can't say for sure. So much depends on you and what you want, what you feel is right, what you think is the right course to take. The best way we can help is by helping you explore the situation further to see what makes the most sense for you. There are two primary ways of getting support with NRS: by calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chatting with us via the "chat" portal at We are here 24/7 and are confidential. Of course, talking more with your grandma might also be a good idea. Maybe your mom would even allow you to live with her for a while or spend more time with her? Just a thought. Perhaps there are other relatives you can reach out to as well, or teachers, school counselors, or clergy that can help. Even if that's not the case, we are here for you no matter what.

    You deserve to be supported, accepted, and loved for who you are. Things can get better. We hope you call or chat with us soon to see how we can help further.

    All the best,
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 07-31-2020, 02:01 PM.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)


    • #3
      *update* while at my brother's family's house I called cps. My mom called and told me the cops are at her door, I feel so anxious because we've been in this predicament before. Im waiting for my brother's father to drop me off at my mother's place so the cops can check me, I truly think I've made the wrong choice trusting the system. All I wanted to do was leave the drama and abuse but it feels like I'm just setting myself up. I'm going to write on here when anything happens because this my only safe space


      • ccsmod13
        ccsmod13 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        We appreciate you sharing a bit of an update with us and we are glad NRS can be a safe space for you. Making a report to child services is a really scary and often intimidating step to take. There can be a lot of uncertainty involved, but the goal of child welfare services is to keep you safe. You did not do anything wrong by reaching out to people who you trust during a difficult situation. Speaking up about not feeling safe took a lot of courage. You deserve to feel safe and supported.

        We truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time. If you are in need of immediate support or you would like to talk through your possible options in a situation, you can always contact us directly. 1-800-786-2929;

        Stay strong,
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