Hi, I live in New Jersey and I am almost 16 years old. I turn this December and I am planning on moving out or running away however you’d like to call it. I am considering staying with my boyfriend which my mom has no clue I have, nor does she know where he lives, she only knows his name from prior incidents. I want to runaway because something really bad happened that ended up involving Child Services/DYFS and now my mom has to choose between me or my sister because we are not allowed to be near each other, my mom is blaming me and keeps saying I cause trouble for the family so I just want to leave and take all my belongings too.. My boyfriend says he can take care of me and I trust him with everything so if I do go, will he or his family get in trouble for keeping me? They live twenty minutes away from where I live and my mom doesn’t even know I’m still dating him, I just don’t want to be a burden to my family anymore so please help me with some insight on what could happen.
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if i runaway can my mom call the cops?
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Hi,
Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a really stressful situation. Regardless of what happened with DYFS, it’s still hurtful and cruel for your mom to blame you. You deserve to be loved and supported, especially by your family. It sounds like you have a safe place to stay if you do decide to run away, which is great and shows a lot of forethought. You asked what could happen if you left. We aren’t legal experts, but generally if you run away your mom could file a runaway report and if the police are able to find you they may return you home. Any adult that you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway.
We hope this response was helpful! If you have further questions or need help finding resources, feel free to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929. If you have a moment, please consider answering a quick survey. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
--NRS
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What will the police do if i runaway?
I'm not a teen or adult but i'm a kid.. I'm 11 years old and don't get along with my family very well. I've done alot of research about what it's like to be homeless, runaway, and stay in homeless shelter. My dad works with the police and that's what i'm most scared about. What will my parents do if i runaway? What will the police do? Please reply.
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Hello there,
Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.
Although NRS is not a legal agency, we can try to give a general idea of possible outcomes if you were to run away. As you are considered a minor in your state, you are still under your parents’ guardianship, therefore at any point when you are gone, they are legally within their rights to file a runaway report. Being a runaway is a status offense, and while you would not be charged with a crime, if police came across you, they would probably return you home. Guardians could also potentially press charges against people who took you into their care for “harboring a runaway;” these charges would be misdemeanors, but still criminal offenses.
In regards to your plan, we would encourage you to consider guardianship, school enrollment, how you would take care of your needs (eating, sleeping, healthcare), and how you would care for your safety if something were to happen. If you were interested, we also offer conference-calling as an option, where we would mediate a constructive conversation between your parents and yourself in order to reach an understanding.
If you would like to talk about other resources and support, feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
We hope this information was helpful and take care.
National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
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Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. Our primary concern is that you remain safe and of the streets, whether you ultimately stay at home or find an alternative living situation.
It sounds like you are experiencing problems at home and considering running away. Before you take that step, have you considered talking to a friend or relative about your situation? If you contact us by phone or chat we will be happy discuss resources that may be available to you to address the problems you are experiencing at home.
We are not legal experts, but we can provide general information that may be helpful to you. The answers to your questions will depend on the city and state you are located in. Running away is not a crime.
Generally speaking, if you are under the legal age of majority in your state and leave home without permission, you are considered a runaway. The police usually do not actively search for runaways. However if you are listed as a runaway and come into contact with the police, chances are they will contact your parents/guardians to make arrangements for your return home.
If a runaway report is filed and you are living with someone else, it is possible that charges could be filed against them for harboring a runaway.
We hope the information provided helps. Remember we are available 24/7 and can be reached by dialing 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Our hotline is confidential, anonymous, and toll-free. In addition to our hotline, you can receive live assistance via CHAT 24/7 as well.
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I’m 17 and I live in West Virginia. My boyfriend is 22 years old but my parents don’t know they don’t think he is but I may be pregnant and they don’t want me to see him. I’m not letting them do this so I’m thinking of moving out and moving in with him. I have transportation I will graduate and I have a job and he does to to support myself. I’m a senior and I want to file for emancipation in fact I’m talking to a lawyer just waiting for an email back. I want to know though for the time being if either of us can get into legal trouble until I’m emancipated?
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. It sounds like you’ve got a lot going on but it also sounds like you have taken a lot of steps towards the decision you want and have done your research on it all. That and the fact that you reached out to us shows a lot about who you are as a person, that is something worth being proud of.
We are more than happy to talk this out with you however, we cannot give definitive information because things often vary state by state and sometimes even by county. However, there is such a thing called a harboring a runaway which could potentially get your boyfriend in legal trouble. When a youth, anybody under the legal age of adulthood, leaves home and is not where their legal guardian gives them permission to be, their guardian can file a runaway report which lets the police know that their child is not where they are supposed to be and that they have permission to find them and bring them back home. If a parent knows where their youth is, they are allowed to let the police know and they can go there and retrieve the youth. The parent is also allowed to charge the person the youth was staying with with harboring a runaway (if the state has it). What this is is it states that this person took in a youth knowing that they were a runaway. How this plays out can vary and it is typically not filed because costs for this are typically required to be covered entirely by the parents pressing the charges.
For more information on this we typically suggest calling your local police department’s non-emergency line to ask them about the specifics of these laws. We hope this has helped a little bit and do encourage you to reach out to us if you need anything at all. You had mentioned that you think you might be pregnant and have a lot of other stuff going on, we are more than happy to talk with you about all of this, as well as provide any resources that might help you out while you are figuring out your next steps. You can reach us at 1(800)786-2929, we are always here for you.
Best,
NRS
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Hi, thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. Deciding to run away can be difficult, and we are definitely here for you if you want to talk about your options or to form a safe plan. Some things to think about might be where you would go or how you would buy food.
Please call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online at www.1800runaway.org if you would like to talk more about your situation. We can also help you find any resources you might need. Best of luck with everything!
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My parents have been yelling at me more frequently and I've been getting into some pretty bad arguments that end with me getting hit. I have finally had enough and I'm planning to run away i can't do anything without getting yelled at or punished, stuff like that. One of my friends told me his dad said they would adopt me bit my mom declined and we got into a very bad argument that night I don't know what I'm going to do any more can someone please help me out
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Hey there,
Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS, we know it takes a lot of courage and strength to tell your story. No one deserves to be abused, it must be very hard to live in household with so much tension.
You always have the option of filing an abuse report. You can do so by calling the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. If you’d like some additional support, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can help you through the reporting process and file the report together. If you feel comfortable with any teachers or staff members at school you can also talk to them about what’s going on and they can either help you file a report or file it for you.
It’s great that your friend’s family is so supportive, it seems like they must really care. If you do leave it’s important to have a plan. You may want to find out what the expectations would be like if you were to live at your friend’s. It’s good to know what the house rules are; if there is a curfew, if you are required to contribute to household utilities, etc. If you opt to run away your parents can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. It should be noted that if your friends dad takes you in he can be possibly be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor. Penalties of harboring a runaway vary greatly from state to state, police officer to officer and how your parents feel about the situation.
If you would like to go more in depth about what’s going on, or explore options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us online by clicking on the “CHAT” button at the top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and we’re here to listen and support you in any way that we can.
-NRS
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17 just trying to leave
im 17 years old my mom is willing to put charges against me, I’m just trying to get a job and move out I’ve runned away for 2-3 days before but she called the cops on me and threatened me. If I prove my self mature enough to a court and have a stable job by this month. Would emancipation be worth leaving 5 moths before turning 18? I also want to be able to do more things, she took my car away and currently says threading things about pressing charges to my boyfriend and to me. Would emancipation be in my favor if I take this to court?
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18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.
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Reply: Hi my parents are a big pair of bullies
Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.
We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Take care,
NRS
We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.
National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
Tell us what you think about your experience!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs
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I am 16 I live with my mother and her new husband. They have been fighting a lot. I live in spokane, Wa. and I have been through a lot recently. I want to leave but she will call the cops and I dont really have anywhere to go. How Long would it take for the cops to stop looking for me? Please respond ASAP!!!Last edited by ccsmod4; 01-16-2019, 01:17 AM.
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Reply: I am 16 i live with my mother .....
Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.
We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you are considering running away from home. We do understand your concerns about the police looking for you. Once you are reported as a runaway the case will remain open until you are recovered by the police or until you turn 18. It sounds like you have been witness to disputes between your mother and her new husband and it has been upsetting for you. We want you to know that we are here as support. You are welcome to contact us and talk more about your situation and run through some options that might help you to figure things out. Sometimes talking can help to come up with a plan to make change. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
Take care,
NRS
We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.
National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
Tell us what you think about your experience!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs
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Hi i am a 16 year old girl and me and a friend or 2 are tryna run away. In my state ga it is illegal. If i was able to get somewhere where its not illegal can they bring me back by force. I will be staying with a friend. A really good friend. And we will be taken care of. Im planning on it after i get some money and stuff. Thats my main question will we be forced home if we go to a state where its not illegal. Im on my bfs phone rn
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Hello there –
Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline and posting on our public forum. By helping you during your crisis, hopefully there are other youth that are in similar situations can read this for help as well.
Looks like you have a very specific question about running away from home. Like you have seen in a lot of our post here, we aren’t legal experts by any means and cannot tell you exactly what will happen. We go based on what we hear from callers and reaching out to local police. From our knowledge of the runaway laws, it isn’t a crime to run away from home and is viewed as a status offense. So nothing will happen to someone that runs away other than being brought back home, but if there was certain circumstances (ie. probation, prior legal trouble, habitual runaway, missed court dates, etc) then it would be a different story. Those charges will most likely follow up even after you turned 18. If a youth has just runaway and turned 18, that report will not count anymore since they would be considered an adult.
Of course we can’t speak for all police, but it is to our understanding that if law enforcement were to find a reported runaway it’s in their policy to return them home. We don’t know if they will physically remove a youth from someone’s house if they refuse to go with them; knowing that they can’t enter the house without a warrant unless you ask them to come in. Runaway reports are entered into the NCIC so if you were to leave the state and go somewhere else, the report will follow you until your 18. The only way to know for sure of that would be to reach out to your local non-emergency police and asking them hypothetical questions about leaving home or the state and what would could happen at that point.
Hope that answer helps!
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I'm a 16 year old gay male. My father and stepmother are not supportive of the lifestyle/clothing i wear. They have threatened to get me fired from my job, kicked out of my school, destroy my life. I need t9 run away because I can't do this anymore.
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Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.
We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/
You mentioned that you need to run because you can no longer deal with how you are treated at home. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.
If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.
Stay Strong,
NRS
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Thank you for the response, I want to know if it's legal in the state of Maryland for my parents to force me to return, or if I'm allowed to say "No, I don't feel welcome in that house and they verbally abuse me." I've talked to a friend and her parents have agreed to let me move in with them if necessary. Is that my best bet?
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Hello There,
Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. We are not legal experts but we do have general knowledge of the laws. Because you are a minor your parents do have the right to file a runaway report on you. If the police found you they would most likely bring you back home. You can always contact your local non-emergency police department and ask them anonymously on what would happen. You can also always call us and we could call out to your local police department on your behalf.
It is great that you have a supportive friend whose family is willing to let you stay with them. You can always try and ask your parent’s for permission in letting you stay with your friend. There is a thing called “harboring a runaway” where your friend’s family could potentially get in trouble for having you stay there knowing you’re a runaway. In some cases its rare to be charged with harboring a runaway but it depends on the police department.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions please chat with us or give us a call at 1800RUNAWAY, we are here 24/7. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS
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