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  • Hi, im 13 years old and i live in SC, and im thinking of running away. My grandparents aren't agreeing with what im doing and im failing school. We have problems with money and a hard time with really everything. They say if i become an lgbtq or anything like that, i cant live there anymore.But im pansexual, and if they find out, i can be living on the streets. My mum drinks a lot and is very controlling. Im suicidal and my grandparents nor my mum knows that. I have no idea what to do. My ID and birth certificate is lost and I want to change my name legally. Can i go to a friends house and stay there? Please help me as soon as possible.

    Comment


    • Hi there, thanks for being so brave and reaching out today. That shows so much courage and is hard to do!
      Running away isn’t a crime, but if you leave without your guardian’s (your grandparents maybe?) permission, they can file a runaway report with police meaning the police know you have left and they come into contact with you, they will likely try to return you back home. You won’t be arrested, but usually the goal is to take you home if possible. However, if any adult allows you to stay with them (like your friend’s parents) they are at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway which is in fact a crime. That is only if your guardian pursues that charge and can prove the adult knew you were a runaway.
      It sounds like you are going through a lot with struggling with grades at school, exploring your sexual orientation and not being supported by your family, worrying about money, and not agreeing with your grandparents, your mum drinking and being controlling. That is a lot for one person to hold so it makes a lot of sense you have considered suicide. Your safety is our number one priority! If you are in immediate danger of taking your life at any time, calling 911 is always an option and they can send a police officer or ambulance to check on you. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 24/7 by phone and online on live chat: 1-800-273-8255, suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You can talk about how you are feeling and come up with solutions previously not thought of. We also have a chat daily in the evenings on our website and are 24/7 by phone: 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are here to support you and listen so please feel free to reach out anytime!
      Talking to a school counselor or teacher about your grades may help relieve some stress with that as well! There might be tutoring or other help they can offer if they know you’re struggling!
      We also offer conference calling with parents so if you want to have a conversation about the way you’re are feeling (or anything for that matter) with your legal guardian and would like help with that, we can help! Call us anytime to do that!
      You might consider finding an ALA-TEEN meeting near you to help you process your mum’s drinking: https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/ https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings...ateen-meeting/)
      There are also a lot of resources for LGBTQA people!
      Trevor Project (LGBTQ youth suicide lifeline): 1-866-488-7386, thetrevorproject.org
      LGBT National Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743
      It Gets Better: itgetsbetter.org
      If you want help finding a therapist in your area, give us a call or come onto chat and we can give you some resources. We want you to be safe and realize with so much stress in your life, this is a lot to deal with. You are not alone and there is help! We are here to listen, here to help and here to support you!
      You are very strong for reaching out today and we want you to be safe and be well. We hope these resources help. Please call or chat us if you would like to talk further!
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • Hello, I’m 16 years old and I have been thinking about running away. This past year has been very hard for me. I would like to get away from my family. I was wondering if my parents had a idea of where I was going and they called the police can they check that persons home?

        Comment


        • ccsmod5
          ccsmod5
          Super Moderator
          ccsmod5 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for reaching out to NRS and sharing your story – we’re always here to help. If your parents were to call the police, the police would be able to and very well could check the person’s home that your parents mention. While we are not legal experts and are reluctant to predict the action of the police, it is entirely plausible that police could inquire about your whereabouts if your parents had reason to suspect you had runaway to a specific residence.
          In the meantime, if you have any questions about running or would like to discuss your options or situation, we are always here to talk. We wish you the best of luck.

          NRS

      • I lived in wv until july 2017 then moved to georgia i hate georgia the teachers are non responsive and they allow bullying i do not get individual help and am currently failing i am 13 i want to run away but i think the cops will send me to juvy what will they do?

        Comment


        • ccsmod16
          ccsmod16
          Super Moderator
          ccsmod16 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi, thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of bravery to explain your personal situation to us. It sounds like you are going through a very tough time in Georgia. It must be a very difficult adjustment. We are here to help in the best way possible.
          You mentioned that you do not like the bullying they allow at the school and the lack of individual academic attention they provide. Have you tried talking to a school counselor or a principal? This could possibly be beneficial as these key issues could be handled directly. It might also be beneficial to consider talking to your parents about the issues you are having with school. There are a lot of factors that need to be taken into account when deciding to run away. You mentioned that you are 13 and are wondering what the cops would do. Because you are a minor, if you do run away you could be given the status offense as a runaway. Depending on if you would stay with someone, they could possibly run into legal issues because they would be harboring a runaway. It is good that you are thinking about what could happen if you were to runaway. Having a plan is very important. However, it is also important to take all of these factors and options into consideration.
          You can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are available 24/7 want to help you in the best ways we can. Please do not hesitate to reach out again if you have any further questions, concerns, or just want to talk about your situation or plan. We wish you the best of luck.
          - NRS

      • I'm lesbian and my mom won't accept me I wanna run away but I don't wanna be taken away from my sister can she adopt me somehow without my parents knowing

        Comment


        • Hi, thank you for posting today! We understand it takes a lot of courage to speak up for yourself. It must be very difficult that your mom does not support who you are. We are here to support you!
          We are glad to you have your sister as a supportive person in your life. We are not legal experts, however, we can give you resources to help the process of your sister getting custody of you if she is over the age of majority (18 in most states) Child Help (1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org) is the national child abuse hotline but they can also help answer questions such as how to get custody transferred. If you call, email or chat with us, we can also look up specific legal aid in your area to help with this too. However, it is unlikely that your sister could adopt you without your parents knowing of it. Usually your current legal guardian would need to be notified if someone else was taking custody. Perhaps you could even just go live with your sister with your parents' permission. You may consider asking your sister to sit down with you and your parents and have that conversation. If you think having a neutral third party would help, we also offer conference calling with parents. We would be an advocate for you and make sure your parents hear you. If you are interested in this, call us anytime: 1-800-RUNAWAY.
          It must be really difficult to live with your mom when she does not accept you. It is understandable that you want to get away. Just so you know, if you do run away, she could file a runaway report on you with the police. It is not a crime to runaway, however, any adult (even your sister) who you stay with is at risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. It is not a common charge but it is possible if your mom wanted to press charges. So considering all of that is important too.
          We want you to know you are heard, supported, and appreciated. You can call us anytime for support or more resources. We also have a few other support resources we wanted to pass on. The LGBT National Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743, LGBT National Hotline: 1-888-843-4564 glbthotline.com and finally the It Gets Better campaign: itgetsbetter.org. We hope you find some support and care in these resources.
          Best of luck! Stay strong and reach out anytime! We are 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 and on chat 4:30-11:30pm CT daily
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • Hi my mom kicked me out of the house and I came back but now I actually want to leave so is it still running away?

            Comment


            • ccsmod5
              ccsmod5
              Super Moderator
              ccsmod5 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi, thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have some questions about the legality of leaving home after being kicked out. First of all, you’re incredibly brave for reaching out to us. To answer your question, we’re not legal experts, but generally, it is a status offense to leave home without your parents’ permission if you are a minor. It’s not a crime though. If your mother makes a runaway report and police are called, you would just be brought back home. It is illegal though for your parents to kick you out of the house without somewhere safe to go. If you would like to discuss more about getting legal advice on this, or about your situation and what’s going on at home, please feel free to reach out to us by phone 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or through our chat service at 1800runaway.org. We really appreciate you taking the time to reach out to us, and wish you the best.

          • Am 16 my mom calls be out my name so could I run away?

            Comment


            • ccsmod0
              ccsmod0
              Super Moderator
              ccsmod0 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hello, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. IT sounds like you have some questions regarding if you can leave home before the age of majority.
              We were able to find this response that we posted to another user, with a similar question.
              Originally posted by ccsmod1 View Post
              Re: if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

              Thanks for contacting us. It sounds like you’re thinking about running away and already have a plan. What is it that’s making you feel like you want to runaway? What have you tried to make your situation better? Is there anything you haven’t tried that you’re willing to try? Running away is a serious decision, so it’s good that you’re thinking through it. To answer your question, your mom does have the right to call the police and file a runaway report if you leave. This means that if you’re found, the police will return you back home. The police do not always actively search for runaways, but if your mom had an idea of where you were she could ask them to check it out and bring you home. From what you wrote you feel like if your mom can call the cops then you don’t have any freedom until you’re 18. It’s hard sometimes, being a teenager when you want to make your own decision but you still have to go by your parent’s rules. Unfortunately, one of the decisions you can’t make is where you live. There are only three legal ways to not have to live at home: 1) Parent’s Permission: If your mom gave you permission to live somewhere else (granted it’s a safe place). 2) Child Protective Services (CPS): If there’s abuse in the home and CPS determines it’s unsafe, they can place you elsewhere 3) Emancipation: This is a legal avenue that involves going to court to try to get emancipated from your parents, and become your own legal guardian (This option is not even available in every state. Even when a state has emancipation laws, it’s not always a practical or realistic option. For more info about this in your state, usually contacting the local family court is the best starting point.) Knowing all of this, do you still feel like you want to runaway? Sometimes it helps to just have an unbiased, non-judgemental person to talk to. Here at the National Runaway Switchboard, we are always available to talk about your situation, help you come up with options, and a safe plan of action. We’re available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. Call anytime.

          • Hey.....I really want to run away my parents are divorced and my dad has full custody. I don’t want to be here and my mom said she is willing to come pick me up even if she don’t have my dads permission, will my mom get in trouble?

            Comment


            • ccsmod10
              ccsmod10
              Super Moderator
              ccsmod10 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there,

              Thanks for reaching out via our forum! It sounds like you may have also reached out to us today, through calling our safeline! Sorry about the delay in our forum response.

              If you need more help or resources, we are always here.

          • I'm going to be turning 17 next month and I really just wanna leave and go be with my friend until I'm 18 but I don't know the consequences. I live in mount Vernon, Ohio and I don't wanna live with my mom for many reasons and I've talked to police about my situation, cps and school counselors and a councellor outside of school ever since I was 12 but everything I say or do is brushed away like it's nothing but a typical bratty teen and it seems the only way I can get away from her before I'm 18 is running away and I've been told emancipation isn't a thing in Ohio anymore, back to when I said there's many reasons why I don't wanna live with my mom I will list a few. 1) she almost always needs to be bribed for me going anywhere, ex) she wouldn't let me go to my sisters house unless my sister gave her prescription pain medication like Percocet. 2) she is emotionally abusive, she uses my family against me and me against them and she is very greedy and selfish. Another example of emotional abuse is when I came out as bisexual she used my family against me and asked if I was gonna do sexual acts with my sister who is a lesbian so I can earn skills for girls, she also threatens to kill herself because I was bisexual. In 2014, I started heavy in to self harm and cps knew but all they did was put me in councelling, I still self harm I'm not gonna lie I just don't think I can deal with my mom anymore, a lot of stuff really hit me hard tonight and I wanna run away in maybe June or October because this next year, my last year of being a minor is going to be absolute hell for me like it was for all of my other siblings. I just wanna know the penalty if I were to run away after I turn 17

            Comment


            • ccsmod5
              ccsmod5
              Super Moderator
              ccsmod5 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hey,
              Thanks for writing in. It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation and that you’ve exhausted all of your options as far as reaching out to cps and the police. You deserve to be loved and respected, and it’s unfortunate that your mom hasn’t been able to do that for you. You mention that you still engage in self harm. Please know that if you ever feel like hurting yourself, you can always call the police or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255. Another resource you might find helpful is To Write Love on Her Arms, at twloha.com.
              To answer your question…we’re not legal experts, but generally speaking running away is not illegal. If you leave without permission, your mom would have the right to file a runaway report and if the police find you they will simply return you home. There are generally no consequences beyond that. That being said, leaving home is still an option if you believe it’s the safest thing for you to do. Another option is to stay with another family member or a friend. Before leaving, it is helpful to think about the following: where you’ll stay, who you’ll stay with, for how long, what your backup plan is, where you’ll get money and food, etc. If you give us a call, we’re happy to help you brainstorm your options and safety plan as well.
              If you ever wanna talk more specifically about your situation, please feel free to call us. Our number is 1-800-786-2929. Best of luck to you and stay safe.

          • I'm 16, I ran away from my step-dad at a Sacramento gas station because he was going to force me back with my biological dad, who beat me and tortured me for 14 years, I had 4 cps reports no him.. nothing, I don’t trust cps giving me a home when I have someone willing to take me, my dad doesn’t trust them because he's never met with them, even said I’m not allowed to leave state... but I ran from the gas station, holding almost all of my belongings, and got away, and out of state... I threw away my sim card in my phone at a garbage can, will I be tracked through anything that involves Wi-Fi, I already am not going to the doctor's., schooling or anything that involves giving my ID or ssc, I have a complete plan for living the next 2 years with a really close friend of mine, but anxiety is weighing heavily on me, and I’m worried about waking up one morning with the police here knowing I’m here, can you guys do a search on how Sacramento police handle runaways.. I have to wait 2 years with my friend, which honestly is something I’ve wanted to do for years, even had a plan for him to come down and talk to them, show my dad and step dad that he wasn’t some creep, but my step-dad who doesn’t know how to parent thought it would be a good idea to force a 16 year old who watched his mom die, has 4 cases of ptsd, severe anxiety, crippling depression, and severe hatred towards his dad.. to go with his dad, sorry for the ranting, I’m trying to work on my anger when talking about my dad... but please.. I need to know what they will look for so I can keep clean until I’m 18 and can do everything again.
            ccsmod4
            Super Moderator
            Last edited by ccsmod4; 02-03-2018, 06:32 AM.

            Comment


            • Reply:I'm 16, i ran away from my step-dad

              Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

              We appreciate you sharing your story about your situation.
              It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way.
              We understand how upsetting this must be for you, it takes great courage to reach out.
              It sounds like you are in what you feel is a safe place and that must be of some comfort to you.

              There are some things that seem to have you worried about being found, here is a generalization of what might occur when a runaway report is filed. Your name goes in the police crime national data base.
              If picked up by the police you may be detained until arrangements can be made for your return home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. You are welcome to contact NRS for conference call services.
              We can contact the police in Sacramento, Ca. about the runaway laws in that state. You may provide us with any questions you have and listen in to what answers the police might provide.
              That being said. If by chance you are picked up by the police and feel you will be at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe going home, we encourage you to seek emergency assistance immediately.
              You have the option of filing an abuse report for neglect or possibly child endangerment.

              To report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

              Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
              If you would like to talk more in detail please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.

              We hope to hear from you soon.

              Be safe,
              NRS
              ccsmod4
              Super Moderator
              Last edited by ccsmod4; 02-03-2018, 06:25 AM.
              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

              Tell us what you think about your experience!
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

              Comment


              • I also wanna runaway because I'm not happy at home I feel like I'm in prison and me and my step dad don't get along my brother ran away once and now I'm planning on doing it. I wanna know if I do leave will I be forced to go back home because my stepdad said if me or my brother rum away we won't be allowed to come back home and we arent allowed to take any clothes or anything so I don't want to go back home if I do decide on running away

                Comment


                • ccsmod5
                  ccsmod5
                  Super Moderator
                  ccsmod5 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hey,
                  Thanks for writing in. It sounds like you’re in a tough situation and are wanting to leave home. You deserve to feel safe, happy, and supported at home and we’re sorry to hear that you aren’t getting the support you need at home. To answer your question…we’re not legal experts, but generally speaking you need to be 18 to leave home without parental consent. If you do leave home, your family would have the right to file a runaway report and if the police find you they will return you home. If you are a minor, your parents are required to allow you back into the house as it is their legal obligation to care for you. That being said, if your family is okay with it, it may be an option to stay with another family member or a friend if you don’t feel safe at home. If you wanna talk about the situation more specifically, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. We’re here to listen and to help 24/7. Best of luck and stay safe.

              • I feel like im in a really bad situation right now. First, to note , i've never used one of these websites before so let's hope this doesn't result in the police showing up to my house etc. So, back about 5 months ago i got into a physical altercation with another girl at school. First time i've ever fought someone. My parents of course grounded me. But this wasn't any type of "grounding" i've had before. I have no phone. they took that. I pay my own phone bill and paid for my own phone and my age is 15 (16 this upcoming June) . In addition , i am allowed to go no where. i no longer have a job. i am only allowed to communicate with other people using my house phone. which is not only embarrassing but completely beneficial , not. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety, and severe Depression. i love interacting with my friends , going out, just being around people. A big trigger for me is being and feeling alone or unwanted to be around, my parents have not only taken away my free will and spirit but i've been sinking lower into my depression and basically my will to be alive. I had tons and tons of friends. Now, do to not being able to talk to anyone, i have 2. Am i just being dramatic? or is this actually a problem?...

                Comment


                • ccsmod7
                  ccsmod7
                  Super Moderator
                  ccsmod7 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  First off, thanks for reaching out to us. It makes sense that since this is your first time you’re concerned about police involvement. You don’t have to worry about that as the police are not going to show up at your door as a result of your posting! It is unfortunate to hear that you feel like your parents’ punishment is taking such a toll on your emotional well-being. Although it’s understandable why they feel repercussions are in order because of the fight, you may want to speak with them, a school counselor or if you have a therapist, about your depression and other symptoms.

                  It may be helpful to know that NRS (1-80-786-2929) offers conference calling. In those situations, we are not on anyone’s side but want both you and your parents points to be heard. The hope is that in talking with us as a mediator on the line, everyone’s point of view can be better understood. You are of course always welcome to simply call into us so we can discuss your concerns directly.

                  Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate o call or chat with us. We’re here to listen, here to help.

              • I'm 17 and I do not necessarily want to run away but rather go to my dads house (He doesn't have guardianship) but is willing to pick me up. But in this case my dad fears that my sister will call the cops and get him in trouble. I go through everyday seeing my older sister and little brother get harassed and threatened by my sisters husband. He tells my sister stuff like "ill knock your a** out" or in other ways of threatening to hit her. In my brothers case he use to hit him everyday kicking him, punching him in his leg, and knocking his head real hard. (He is only 10 years old) My sisters husband doesn't treat any of the other 5 kids like that. He takes advantage of my brother being a little slow knowing that he wont tell anyone. A couple months ago I told my dad the stuff that went on and he called my sister asking whats going on. (which I got in trouble for) My sister put the blame on the other kids saying that they are just as bad as her husband is. He has stopped the abuse a little less as time comes on but I cant stand the way he treats everyone, he feels as if he should be treated like a king. I want to file a report for abuse but i'm scared that is was too long ago (couple months) and that he'll threaten my brother to lie for him. My sister is too delusional to leave him considering they have 4 kids of their own. My questions is what is the quickest way possible for me to get out of this house?

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