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if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

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  • Reply: hi, i'm 14 and i'm in an abusive home.



    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline.

    It takes great courage to reach out during what sounds like a frustrating situation.
    We appreciate you sharing some of the issues you are having at home with family members.
    Let us say that you don’t deserve to be abused by anyone. You are not responsible for the actions of others. It’s not your fault.
    We understand that things have become quite overwhelming at home right now, so much so that you mentioned feeling depressed with thoughts of suicide.
    Your feelings are important and it can be tough especially when it feels that you are not being heard.

    You might consider other options like talking with someone when feeling depressed or having thoughts of suicide.
    Perhaps there is a friend, teacher or another relative you can reach out to for support. Sometimes counseling is an option looked at.

    There is also the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at: 1-800-273-8255 Often, having a space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this.

    Remember that NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    It sounds like there are some good things to build on as you seem to have a good standing at school with classmates and your circle of friends.
    Good for you.

    You did a great job reaching out to NRS.

    If you would like to talk more about your situation please contact us at: 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • I am 47 year old woman I am going to run away with him can my family make a complain will the police catch us n lock us up

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        The legal age you become an adult is 18 unless someone has extended guardianship over you. You can leave home without anyone’s permission as a legal adult. If your family does not know you left on purpose, but rather thinks that something bad happened to you, they might attempt to file a missing person’s report for you. You would not be locked up if you are found as a missing person. It sounds like you are planning on running away with someone else, if that someone else is a minor (age 17 or younger), then you could get into legal trouble with harboring a runaway or kidnapping.

        Please call or chat us if you would like to talk further about your situation.

        Best,

        NRS

    • I need help on how to run away. I've never run away before and I don't exactly have an idea of where I can go since I don't exactly have any place to be. My mother adandoned me when I was a kid, my dad knows all my friends and their addresses. So I'm thinking of going cross country but I'm not sure how I can do that unless I have a form of ID. Can anyone help me fish for ideas?

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us. It looks like you’ve done a lot of thinking about this, but we can definitely talk through some aspects it, and give you some more ideas to consider.

        The most important thing is your safety. We often recommend that youth have someone they can reach out to if they get into an uncomfortable situation. So consider having that set up before you leave.

        It is true that it can be hard to travel cross country without ID. For example, you couldn’t use Greyhound. Lack of ID will also come up if you are seeking employment, and if you can’t get employment, that might make supporting yourself difficult. But if you are in a situation at home that is intolerable, it is still important to figure out a way to change that.

        Firstly, if you do need to leave right away, you can get in touch with National Safe Place. You can text “safe” and your address, city state, to 69866. They answer with a nearby safe place (a local business where youth can stay and be safe,) as well as the location of a nearby shelter. There is also the option to text with a social worker.

        If there are any issues involving child abuse or neglect, you can call Child Help USA to inquire about reporting. You can call anonymously, so you don’t have to commit to anything. 1-800-426-5678.

        If this is a situation where everyone needs some space, sometimes youth set up an alternative living arrangement. This is where the guardian knows where the youth is and they’ve both agreed to have the youth stay, for example, with a friend’s family or other relative.

        If you want to talk this through further, you can also give us a call at any time.

    • May I ask how we can run away and not be returned home? I know for sure my parents are going to report me as a run away. I'm practically their slave, they can't do anything without me. But if I'm in a situation where if I go back something bad will happen, can I ask to be put somewhere else until I get counseling/resources and the help I need?

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, thanks so much for reaching out to us here at NRS. Reaching out is something that is really difficult and we want to thank you for sharing a little bit of what’s going on.

        Firstly, we want to let you know that we are not legal experts, but can give you some general ideas of what could happen in your situation top help you choose what you feel would help you the most. To start, leaving home/running away is not illegal per say, but a status offense. This means if you are under the age of adulthood, typically 18 years old, your parents are legally responsible for you until you reach that age. So if you do leave home, they can report you as a runaway and the police would try to find you to return you home with the information give.

        It really sounds like you are in a tough situation and seem to have some serious things going on at home. We know you mentioned returning home may not be the safest option, and of course your safety is very important to us. As you said, there are other options to get the help you need and reach out even further. We do want to let you know, reporting what is happening at home is always an option. We are not here to define what child abuse is, but if you believe you are being abused, physically, mentally, or emotionally, you can report that to a child abuse hotline. Child Help is a really great resource that helps with defining abuse and what it means to report abuse and what could happen after you make that initial report. Child Protective Services does have several courses of action that varies based on the situation, but does include moving you to a different home of a relative, required counseling or family counseling, or group homes/foster care. Child Protective Services keeps the youth best interest in mind and tries to keep families together and find options that are helpful. Child Help can be reached at 1-800-422-4453. They also have a website (childhelp.org) that has some other information as well. We can always provide the abuse hotline number for your area, or you can call in here at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can report on your behalf. We are something called mandated reporters, which means if we are told certain information, like your name, your address, you parents’ names, etc; we would legally have to pass that information along to Child Protective Services. We really do care about you and you can always reach out to us to talk about this being an option or just wanting to talk to us about the situation.

        If this doesn’t seem like an option, you do have other courses of action to take. Again, your concern of something bad happening is very important to us. We can always talk about other situations to help you decide some options if you do end up having to return home. This could mean being comfortable telling an officer that you do not feel safe at home/returning home and having Child Protective Services involved as they are mandated reporters as well; reaching out to other resources like counseling (which we can also provide) or talking to your parents about getting help. You do not have to reach out to them alone too as bringing in another person like a friend or family member may help too. We can always be there to help mediate between you and your parents through our conference call service. This means you would call in here and we would talk a little bit about what has been going on and then reach out to your parents with us and you on the line. We would then act as a third party to help mediate between you two to help you both understand how each other feel. If this is something you are interested in, you can call us.

        We hope we were able to answer some questions and give you some things to think about. We are always here to further talk about the situation, these options, or other options. Thank you so much for reaching out again, and you are really brave for talking about what has been going on. We are here 24/7 to talk so you are always welcome to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we also have a chat line on our website. We wish you the best!

        -NRS

    • Hello so I'm running away with my boyfriend. My mom knows his car can police pull over his car at anytime? For example if he was driving to work and a cop got behind him could they pull him over. (Keep in mind she doesn't know his license plate just his name and color and. Model of his car)

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,

        It can be difficult to ask for help, and we are glad you reached out to us. We are not legal experts and consequences for running away can vary from city to city and state to state.

        While we cannot say with certainty if your boyfriend would be pulled over, police could be searching for his vehicle if either of you are reported as a runaway. If your boyfriend is pulled over there could be a few consequences for both you and your boyfriend. If there is a runaway report filed for either of you, you could be sent back to your legal guardian. If you are staying with someone, they could be charged with harboring a runaway.

        If you have additional legal questions you can always call a non-emergency police number for your area. We can also provide additional legal resources, as well as general support as you think through your next steps. In addition to our online services, we are available by phone 24/7 (1-800-786-2929).

        If you have additional questions or need additional support, do not hesitate to call.

        Good luck,
        NRS

    • I'm 16 years old , everyday my mom yells at me and screams at me and im not exaggerating. My dad slapped me on Father's Day for asking him multiple times why he was taking my phone . Both my mom and my dad are super strict with me . But my dad is way worse than my mom . What can I do about this ? I tried family therapy , with my mother . But it's not working out . The same thing keeps happening . We can't agree on anything . I can't go out to my friends house , or in anyone's car . I don't feel free to be myself . She keeps trying to change who I am . But she has to understand I'm not like her .

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there! It sounds like we've spoken to today, on another platform! It's great to see that you reached out again. If you need further resources and information, don't hesitate to call us again!
        Be well, NRS

    • If i want to go to my homecoming dance at my high school and my parents say no. But i go anyway and tell them where ill be and what time ill be home. Can my parents still call the cops ? Even though they know my location and that im safe

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        Thanks for reaching out to us for help. We are here to help however we can. We aren't legal experts, but we can answer your question in genera. If you go anywhere without permission from your legal guardian as a minor, your parents can call the police. However, many police departments require that a youth has been missing for a certain amount of time, like overnight or at least 24 hours, before taking a runaway report. This can vary depending on your situation and where you are. If you want to know for sure, you can try calling our local police to ask about their policies. If police do take a report, there is a chance that they could show up at homecoming. Your parents could always show up at your dance and make you come home, or call the school, so police may not be the only thing to worry about. If you need to talk about the situation or you want to talk, don't hesitate to give us a call. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

    • Ugh i feel like crying while writing this but I am 16 years old. I want to leave my house to go let my older cousins be my legal guardians but I dont want to be reported at all. I just want to be in my own space and have fun a bit to take the stress I feel off my back while I am at home because I am locked up in the house 24/7.. i cant even do anything I chose to do. I am tired of the yelling , the calling me out my name , the hurt I feel inside.. it makes me want to pull my hair out.. im tired of my father trying to make me feel better afterwards but nothing changes at all. I prefer to go live with my cousins were I could have a job buy the things I really want and to have fun! Im so stressed and it wont go away

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there, thank you for reaching out today. It sounds like you are treated pretty poorly at home and called names. That is so not okay. You deserve to be treated with respect, and here at NRS we truly want to help you through this difficult time.

        It sounds like you want to live with your cousins and do not want to be reported as a runaway. The easiest way you can leave is with guardian permission. You might ask your cousins to advocate for you living with them to your legal guardian. Sometimes it helps to bring a trusted third party in on the conversation when your guardian is not hearing you. If you are interested in having a mediated conversation with your guardian, we do have a conference call service here if you call 1-800-RUNAWAY. Depending on your age, state’s laws, and if you have income, emancipation might be an option for you. Emancipation is a timely and costly court process where you would prove to the judge that you are financially self-sufficient and better off without your guardian’s care. To learn more about emancipation, please call or chat us.

        It sounds like living at home has made you incredibly stressed. Your mental health is so important, and we encourage you to think about your own self-care and what you need to do for yourself to get through this. If you ever need support of any kind, please do not hesitate to call us. We are here to support you and we can look for resources for you that might be helpful including legal resources for emancipation or family counseling resources.

        We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best,

        NRS

    • I am thinking about running away because I can't take my family anymore....They are always calling me a retard my sister keeps saying a need a bra and I AM NOT EVEN FAT!!!!! My dad said that I am going to die because of something that happened 4 years ago 4 F*CKING YEARS AGO. Then a few seconds he ask me to go and get him a toothpick when I refused he called me a motherf*cker. I don't know what to do every time I am going to run away I think of my best friend I won't be able to see her if I run away and we really really like each others company.

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks for reaching out to NRS! We appreciate the courage it took to explain a bit about what you’re going through.

        It sounds like you’re being mistreated at home by your sister and your dad. It’s definitely not ok that they speak to you that way and call you those names. The way they treat you, does sound a bit like emotional/verbal abuse. If you ever wanted information on reporting that abuse, you can call into speak with us or there’s an organization called Child Help (800) 422-4453 or childhelp.org. They help youth with abuse reports and they help youth figure out ways to get their custody transferred to a safe person (like family, etc.). You mentioned that you’ve been thinking about running away quiet often, it’s understandable that you don’t want to stay. It sounds like your best friend is really worried about you.

        Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website. So the best way to tell us everything would be to just call into our hotline and talk to one of our trained liners. NRS is a non-directive organization, so we aren’t here to give out advice, because you know your situation a lot better than we do.

        Be safe, NRS

    • Hey so im thinking about running away i turn 18 in 4 months im tired of being at home. I want yo go live with a friend. If i do can my friend get arrested? Plz reply...

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey,

        18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

        NRS

    • Can my mom go to jail for running away with my brothers and sisters

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,
        Thanks for reaching out to NRS! It sounds like you’re thinking about running away with your siblings and mom. For youth, running away isn’t an offense you can be arrested for. However, there are charges of “harboring a runaway” for adults that allow runaways to stay with them. In some cases adults can also be charged with kidnapping. It may be worth finding out who has custody over you, or if your mom has some sort of custody over you. We’re not legal experts so we always offer to call out to local police with youth to ask them specifically about their protocols.
        You’re definitely not alone in this and our safeline is open 24/7! We also have chatting services via our website (that is not 24/7). Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us again.
        Be well, NRS

    • I'm 15 And I Live With My Grandparents...My Mom Died When I Was 11 And I've Been In-between My Dads House And My grandparent House...But now My dad Lives With My Grandparents So He Cant Provide For Me...My Grandparents Mentally Abuse Me (Don't Wanna Say What They say) And They Always Put Me Down...When My Dad Is Around They Don't Say Anything...I've Tried To Commit Suicide Several Times And I Clearly Failed...Now I'm Going To Therapy But Therapy Is Not Helping Because I'm Still Under Their Roof...I Can't Express Myself Because I Get Yell At Or Punished...Recently I Went To The Hospital For Chest Pains And The Said I Was Having An Anxiety Attack Because I Was Anxious And They Said My Stress Levels Were Too High For My Age...My Step Dad Agreed To Take Me In but He Has To Get A bigger House...But If I runaway Before That What Will Happen??

      Comment


      • Reply: I'm 15 And I Live With My Grandparents...

        Hello,
        Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

        It sounds like it’s been quite stressful for you living with your grandparents. You don’t deserve their abuse and you are not responsible for what they say. It also sounds like you are in therapy trying to work on a plan to cope with the situation as opposed to hurting yourself. You have the right to your feelings and we are glad you chose a positive way to express them.
        Good for you. Your step dad is willing to have you stay with him but it seems he needs to get a bigger place. Unfortunately we don’t know what might happen if you were to run away. It depends on how your parent/guardian reacts to you leaving home.

        In general a person under the age of 18 leaving home without permission, a parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city.
        We are not sure if this is what you meant by “what will happen” but if you would like to speak more about your situation feel free to contact NRS.
        Our contact information is 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org (live chat).

        You did great by reaching out today. Good job.
        We hope to hear from you soon.

        Take Care,
        NRS



        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • Idk because I'm running away too so were r u running away too and I'm only 12 and ik were I'm going so yeah and my grandma is abusive only too me and not my brother bevuase I just moved there she can buy my brother 200 dollar pairs of shoes and I don't get any I really wanna run away
          Last edited by ccsmod7; 08-15-2017, 05:27 PM. Reason: personal contact information given

          Comment


          • ccsmod7
            ccsmod7 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello there, thanks for reaching out today.

            Sounds like you are planning on running away because your grandmother is abusive and is going to buy your brother a pair of expensive shoes. That sounds like a really stressful situation, and it is so understandable that you want things to change.

            You mentioned that your grandma is abusive. In no way do you deserve to be harmed, and you do have the right to report abuse in your home to child protective services. To learn more about your reporting rights you might call the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. You can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you would like assistance with calling out to your local abuse hotline. If your grandmother is not your legal guardian, you might talk to your guardians about leaving your grandma’s house. Please call 911 if you ever feel like you are in immediate danger. You so deserve to be safe in your own home

            If you haven’t already, you might try to talk to your grandma about how you are feeling. You might see if she would be willing to get you a pair of shoes if you haven’t already. It seems like your brother getting a nice pair, and you not getting a pair is really affecting you; and you deserve to have your needs and wants voiced and heard. We have a conference call service if you ever wanted to have a mediated talk with your grandma with us advocating for you.

            Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you ever need. If you do run, please keep our number in mind if you would like us to look for runaway shelters near you. Here at NRS we are confidential and primarily concerned with your safety.

            Best,

            NRS

        • Hi okay so, I just was moved to North Dakota to live with my sister who has third party custody of me, it's not like I expected and my life is being turned upsidown and she's trying to make me do things I don't want to do. If I were to runaway and go back to Washington where I would have a place to stay and a source of income, and my sister called the police on me from North Dakota either saying I'm somewhere in Washington or she doesn't know what is the most THW police can do

          Comment


          • ccsmod7
            ccsmod7 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are pretty unhappy in North Dakota and you are wanting to leave.

            We are not legal experts, so we can only speak generally. We unfortunately do not know if your sister having third party custody would look differently than having full custody in a runaway situation. We do have legal aid resources here, if you ever wanted to talk to a legal expert about your situation. Please call or chat us for those local resources. If you are under 18, as your guardian your sister could attempt to file a runaway report for you with local police. You would be entered into a national database as a runaway, so if police ran your name they could see that you are a runaway. If you are found, you could be returned to her. It sounds like you are planning to go to Washington. If you are found it Washington, it is possible you could be detained until you are returned to your sister or until she can come bring you back.

            If you call or chat us, we can get more details of your situation and try to help brainstorm options for you. He truly want to help through this difficult time.

            We look forward to hearing from you and hope you are safe.

            Best,

            NRS
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