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if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

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  • help

    i've been living with my boyfriend for 6 months now without my parents permission bc i'm only 17. i turn 18 in march. can my parents still report me missing after 6 months of me being gone???

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    • Re: if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

      Hello,

      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like are that your feeling insecure with your current living situation at your boyfriend’s home. You raised a very valid concern asking if your parents can still report you as a runaway after 6 months.

      Assuming that your boyfriend lives in the same state as your parents and the age of majority (legal adulthood) in your state is 18, the answer is that your parents do have the authority to report you as a runaway to your local police. Since they have legal responsibility for you, they can decide where you can live until you reach adulthood. That being said, we find the police reaction to filing a runaway report tends to vary from location to location. Some authorities treat the runaway report as a status offense and do not go looking for youth. In these cases, if the runway youth is brought to the police’s attention due to other legal violations and they see that a runaway report has been filed, they may choose to bring your parents involved. Other police authorities might be more aggressive and follow up just on the filing of a runaway report and come to the house to what’s going on.

      To find out how your local police reacts to run away reports, we suggest you call your local non-emergency police from a phone that can’t be identified to get an understanding of their process. We can support you further if you’re unsure of the age of majority in your state or to discuss options for legal aid in your area. The best way to get this information quickly is to contact us directly. You can confidentially call us 24 a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). Another option is contact us through our chat line from 4PM-11PM accessed through our website www.1800runaway.org.

      Thank you for sharing your situation on the National Runaway Safeline Forum. Hopefully other youth will benefit from you sharing your story. We hope the information above will support you feeling more secure in your safe living situation. Best of luck!
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • My name is F

        My parents met at a very young age.
        My aunt, Lana, used to babysit my mom.
        My mother's grandfather used to touch her and other sexual assault stuff (it's kind of graphic; I'd rather not describe it.) When she was less than 9 years old.
        My father began smoking cigarettes at 11 years old. His father, my grandfather, was manslaughtered by a drunk driver when my father was only 13. His sister was 17, and she lost her father, her mother became an alcoholic, and she became anorexic, she even modeled for Ralph Lauren until she ended up nearly dead from starvation.
        My father and mother are third cousins.
        This isn't uncommon where they're from; back in the 80's with almost no one in their hometown. My dad raped my mom multiple times, but she never felt like a victum. He left his first babymama alone with their newborn child, to live and love with my mother.
        Fast foward to when I was four.
        My first memory was me, shouting at my father, as he slapped my mother and spat in her face, his face was so red it was almost comical.
        My next memory was my mother holding me and huggung me tightly, apologizing for my brother and our cousin undressing me in full view of the neighbors.
        I'm not sure what happened between the events, how far apart they were, or why tbey happened.
        When I turned 10, my mother was given an ultimatum: stay with her children and abusive fiance, or leave and never see us again.
        She called.
        It wasn't enough.
        She didn't know I became the mother of the family before I even started middle school.
        I cooked every night, I ended every family fight, I cleaned, I did the laundry.
        I knew that if I hadn't have taken care of my family, no one would. My brother was 12, but he was defenseless. He couldn't handle stress. My father was mid30s, he was old enough to take care of his kids.
        He struggled with his drug addictions, and he still does. Always will.
        I was only 10 and a half when I began to cut myself and starve myself. I had a small pocket knife I'd stolen from my dad's drug dealer, and I was listening to "Hero" by SuperChick, and cut myself.
        I loved it.
        When I turned 11, my mother came and got my brother and I.
        She brought us back to an apartment with a man we knew. The man was a family friend, my dad's best friend. She told us a romanticized story of her realizing her love for Cyril. He was skinny, too thin to be healthy. He worked 2 jobs and she worked 1.
        Immediately I accepted that I'd neveer see my dad again.
        This isn't true.
        He demanded visitations.
        2 years of court battles until we settled on weekend visitations.
        He wasn't that awful at first. He choked my brother, and screamed at me.
        One time, I was telling him he was a "homophobic racist incestual bastard" and he hit me. My brother didn't see. I had to defend myself.
        I kicked him in the balls and he toppled over.
        He never laid a hand on me after that.
        My mother, when I was 13, told me I was a sad emo bull********ter.
        I'm still not sure what that means.
        When I was 13, I met her.
        Ashley.
        She was a year younger than me, had the same humor, but she was daring.
        She ran away from home with two men.
        We got her back home.
        When I was 14 I began to get a womanly figure. My father took notice. He never touched me, never made it too obvious, but he ogled me. His eyes pierced through my clothes.
        My mother and now-over-weight stepfather took all forms of interent from me, to protect me from Ashley.
        I devised ways to communicate with her. I bought 3 tablets, 4 phones, and stole my dad's old Nokia at one point.
        We planned to run away together.
        It failed.
        Her mother caught her.
        My mother stripped me of internet again. I was forbidden to see Ashley.
        It's been nearly 3 years since it happened.
        On my 15th birthday, my aunt said I was useless, slutty, disgraceful, and overall disgusting.
        I turned 15 last year.
        I have bulimia.
        After a particularly bad fight with my dad, I looked at myself in the mirror.
        Covered in my own vomit, cuts and blood trailing down my legs, and a pistol pressed to my head.
        I began counting off the people that will be sad to hear I died.
        My 3 friends at school.
        And then Ashley.
        Ashley.
        She stopped me from commiting suicide without even knowing it was happening.
        My stepfather threatened to spank me.
        I'm sorry, but (fair warning!! this will be sassy and rude....) Fat middle aged stepfather forcibly spanks busty redhead stepdaughter?
        It even sounds like a porno.
        I decided to run away. To begin making plans to, at least. When I turn 17, I'll fly the coop!
        I'll come back at 18. Hope they change.
        I re-met Ashley online on a place called SceneKids.com
        I love her.
        She's the only person I'm certain I would die for.
        The only person I lived for.
        My family is actually going really well at the moment, some scuffs, but it's overall fine compared to how it ussd to be.
        But my father is a time bomb.
        He smacks my butt all the time, and I know it's only a matter of time until I become his victum.
        My stepfather touched my butt today, too. I hope he meant it in jest.
        My mother is bipolar. So. Yeah. My family works in cycles.
        I'm sorry to say this, but CPS didn't do a thing. It feels like they mocked me.
        Ashley and I have been talking for a mere 4 months and we've decided to run away together once again.
        I offered to wait for her to have enough money.
        I have 25 months until I'm 18.
        I cannot handle this family any longer.
        Yes. My stepfather makes money. Hella dollas, y'all.
        But you can't buy love.
        My aunt owns a very successful business, and has tried to buy my forgiveness.
        All she would have to do is admit she was in the wrong for the 2 years of emotional abuse, but she never will.
        My stepdad buys me nice things.
        But I don't want things.
        I want a therapist; which they will not supply because they think my "little sad spell" was a phase. I had a counselor for a few months in the summer, but soon after I began to smile when I speak, my mother ripped me out of therapy because I "never had a problem in the first place" and it was "too expensive".
        She spends hundreds of dollars to nake herself look pretty every week.
        Not to mention, she says this (or something like this) at every opportunity: "I was raped by four men. But when I was sad, I just listened to Madonna and shot up. And I never ended up depressed. You must be faking it."
        She's pampered as heck !
        My stepfather is gone for a month at a time. Then back for a month.
        I hate him.
        He's given me everything I've ever had, but I hate him. He judges me. Thinks my bisexuality is me being an attention whore. He thinks my cutting problem was me begging for help.
        (It was at first. Then it became a coping mechanism. I don't cut anymore, but I struggle :/)
        I was sexually harassed at school. Admins thought it was me being a tease.
        The worst part of this whole thing, is that I truly need Ashley. I don't need her as my girlfriend or anything foolish like that; I need her in the most basic of ways. She's someone I will always love.
        My mother said her name once, when we were fighting.
        I immediately began wheezing, crying so hard I couldn't breathe. I felt closed in, as if I were being crushed. My heart felt almost as if it were going to literally rip in half.
        This happened for 2 years, each time I heard her name.
        Freshman year of high school, I became almost normal again.
        Still sterotypically emo, but I wasn't clearly broken in most ways.
        Ashley's father was beating her so badly she had to jump out of her window to run ti the neighbors house for safety
        The neighbor kept her safe, but returned her home without a single phone call to any authorities.
        That was the day I decided I needed to help her, and save myself.
        She wants to run away to a shelter. I don't like that idea...
        But I'm not sure what else to do.
        She wants to leave this month.
        We have less than fifty dollars.
        The shelter she was to go to is four hours away.
        I want to find a way to tell her I don't think what she longs to do is possible right now. We need much more money and I think we need to find someone safe to live with.
        The problem with the latter is that we could only find such people via the internet.
        Adults willing to illegally habor runaways girls of 15 and 16.... Must be shady.
        We simply CANNOT go into a shelter.
        We need to be able to be released from someone's hold at a moment's notice, and we need to be somewhere without government funding or significant government intervention.
        I'm not sure where to go.
        We have limited time.
        I know it's a lot to read and take in. Thank you so much for the help. She and I really appreciate everything you'll have to say.

        Comment


        • re: my name is F

          Hello F,

          Thanks for reaching out to us. We hope you found some release of emotions by venting a bit about what's been going on in your life. There is a lot that you have been going through for a while. We are glad you decided to reach out for some help. Based on what you shared, it's understandable that you would want to get away from what is happening. And your friend A as well. Being a minor, it can be difficult to run away on your own. In most cases, the only way to be removed from your home is by CPS or the police, if you can show to them that you are in danger. If that is no feasible, you may need to now start considering ways you can stay safe until you are able to move out. You have a right to seek out mental health from what has happened to you, it might be a good idea to talk with an adult you trust to try and find places where you can go to talk to someone. That person may also be help you to talk with a legal expert to figure out what your rights are. Child Help USA can be helpful in understanding what options are available and where to reach out to for help. You can search for them online or call at 1-800-422-4453. If there is anything that we can help with further, feel free to reach out anytime.

          Best of luck to you,
          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • Runaway

            I am planning to run away I will pack food and water also clothes, money, and more. I will leave a note saying I love them and stuff also to not repot me. But what should I do is this a good decision??? I mean I have my bike and in my area I know where to go. But will my parents hunt me down? Is this safe?!?!? Idk what to do I am soooo confused right what do I do?!?!??!?!?

            Comment


            • re: runaway

              Hey,
              18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

              NRS
              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

              Tell us what you think about your experience!
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

              Comment


              • Re: if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

                I know where im gonna go and im only leaving beacues im being abused emotionally and physicalyried to tell cps but she told them i made it up in my head and they listend to her not me even though ppl saw her hit me and tackel me to the ground she already called the cops on me and know they are looking for me what do i do im safe i have food the ppl im with care about me and treat me niely

                Comment


                • Ive been trying everything at home, my parents divorced and i live with my dad. I don't like my mom but that's besides the point. My dad have been very strict lately and will not let me go anywhere, and the only time he does that is if I'm grounded and my grades are not good. Ive been taking all honors classes with A's. I have things to do after school, cleaning, cooking, and doing homework. I get yelled at about 2 a week for not doing something because i forgot or i didn't have time to do it. I have not seen any of my friends in a long time but at school. My dad keeps questioning me about everything and making me upset. I have very bad depression. I have thought about waiting a few months and when I'm 16 just move out but you have to go through the legal system and its a long process. I already have everything planned out for what I wanna do in life along with who i want to live with. I dont know how much longer i can take of not having many friend and not having a social life. I wanted to run away but I'm afraid of getting in trouble or someone getting mad. What should i do?

                  Comment


                  • My nephew is 15 years old and completely out of control! His 17 year old sister as well. She just lost her baby to DCF and my sister cannot take custody because of the complications with the 15 year old. He will be 16 in 5 months. He refuses to come home and he's dating a 23 year old heroin addict! Yes, you read that right! He got into a fight Friday night, has been out all weekend partying and last night the two broke into my sisters house! They also peed on someone's car and keyed it all up! Can she call the police and have him arrested for breaking in?

                    Comment


                    • I am a 17 yr old male. lately i havent been going home due to some issues me and my mother are having. my mother reported me as a runaway even tho she told me to leave the home. its been a week since the report and i willingly turned myself over. i regret doing so now because the cops told me they werent even activly looking for me because im almost a adult ( I'll be eight-teen in three months). ive been told i have 2 juvinile petitions out on me now (pressed by my spiteful mother) and i was told a deputy would be picking me up to take me away till i was 18. id like to know if this is true and wht would happen if i leave my home again.

                      Comment


                      • Re: if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

                        Hello there –

                        Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here on our public forum at the National Runaway Safeline. It seems like there must be a lot going on in your life especially at home if you’re wanting to leave. No one deserves to be treated like that at all. Just know that you always have the right to report any abuse (physical, mental, sexual, or neglect) to your local police department, family member, or child protective service in your state. If that is something that you don’t really feel comfortable with doing, you can always give us a call to help answer any questions about the process or to walk you through what steps there are. It sounds like you have already had some experience with CPS in the past so that might not be anything new for you. It’s unfortunate that they believed your mother’s lies rather than being an advocate for you/

                        Like we tell a lot of our callers and/or people that email us, the laws on that specific subject of running away vary from state to state. We aren’t legal experts here, but generally what typically happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]), your parents would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense and not a crime to run away, the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home or take you to the station to talk you about what’s going on at home. That might be the time in which you choose to share your experience with the abuse at home between your mother and yourself. This is of course if you had any interaction with the police directly or if they stopped you to ask you a few questions, most police officers aren't going to be actively looking for those that have run away from home.

                        It isn’t wrong for you to feel like you need to get out of this awful situation. It’s not your fault that you are treated this way and there are people out there that are willing to help you get through something like this. If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We would love to talk to you about what has been going on recently. We also have an online chat service available every day.
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment


                        • RE: Post # 473

                          Hello there –

                          Thanks for taking the time out of the day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum. Hopefully by helping you, we can help others that are going through similar situations at home and need some help. Now we can’t actually tell you what to do in your situation because you know your life better than we do; even though I’m sure it’s easier to be told you can leave. But we are mainly here for general support and to help you work through you issues. As you have probably read throughout the post that running away from home before you turn the age of majority is a statutes offense. Which means that you can’t be taken to jail. That changes however if you commit a crime while on the run or if you cross state lines and the police pick you up. Then they can place you either in detention (crime) or a youth shelter (different state). If neither of those happen then you will most likely be brought back home and you’ll just have to deal with whatever kind of punishment that you parents give you.

                          It great that you’re looking ahead and know what you want to do with your life and where you want to go next. It is helpful to think about your overall plan and think about alternatives in case things do end up changing for you. Your father may give you permission to live with another family, but without getting an official document from the court they would still be legally responsible for you. Which means that he can also take away that permission at any given moment and take you back home to live with he once again. So that can be an option for you if you feel like your father might respond well to you living someplace else. Maybe coming up with a solid plan about what you’re planning on doing, how everything is going to work, and any miscellaneous things could be helpful in them seeing how much work you have put into this plan.

                          If you give us a call on our 24/7 fully confidential hotline, at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help answer some of those questions you have and could potentially help you brainstorm a solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org) if you don’t feel like calling in to talk on the phone.
                          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                          National Runaway Safeline
                          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                          Tell us what you think about your experience!
                          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                          Comment


                          • RE: Post #476
                            Hello there,
                            Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been having some issues with your mother and you have let home before. But then you turned yourself in, which was a really brave thing to do. She then placed two juvenile petitions on you and you wanted to know if the sheriffs could come and pick you up. This does seem like quiet a complicated situation that you are in and we are going to try to help you the best we can but unfortunately we are not legal expert nor are we the police so we can only tell you what our understanding of the general law is. To our understanding if a minor is a habitually runs away their parents/guardians do have the right to file a petition with the court to have them become involved. While we cannot say what exactly what this means for you one way that you might be able to find out for sure would be to get in contact with your local juvenile Justice court.
                            It took a lot of courage for you to reach out for help and we want you know that you know that we are here to help you in whatever way we can. We hope that this information helps you.
                            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
                            Be safe,
                            NRS
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • RE: Post #475
                              Hi,
                              We’re sorry to hear you and your sister are having so many problems with her kids. That can be a really stressful situation.
                              We’re not legal experts, but if she wants to try to press charges, she can always call the police and explain what happened. It would then be up to the police to determine whether charges can be filed. If you think you need to speak to an attorney first, you might want to try searching for Legal Aid services in your area.
                              It also sounds like you and your sister are having broader issues with the children, with things like vandalizing a car and refusing to come home. In most states there is a process called MINS or CHINS (Minor/Child in Need of Service) depending on the state. When you file a MINS/CHINS, the court will intervene and can assign restrictions (like a curfew or drug testing) or help get social services involved. While this is one of the more extreme options, it can be an effective way if you’ve already exhausted other ways of trying to get the kids to behave.
                              If you have any other questions, give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can help look for services specifically in your area.
                              Best of luck!
                              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                              National Runaway Safeline
                              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                              Tell us what you think about your experience!
                              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                              Comment


                              • I'm 16 and i live in Puerto Rico which is a U.S. colony and shares most of its laws. My mom is very old school and hits me to the point of marking my skin when we get into an argument. These argument are about what she thinks of me, and she treats me as if im a delincuent because my dad used to do stuff that id rather not get into (of course did quite a bit of jail time) but since i look a lot like hit she sees him in me and thinks im a delincuent she even allows my kid brother to hit me to the point of marking or bleeding and doesnt allow me to fight back. She also says that i cant run away because no one will take care of me. She says she will call the cops and have them chase me down. Today i was mowing the lawn and when i finished my brother came at me with a metal object and threw it at me, i hit him back and she came at me. I ran to my room and waited. I ran away when se wasn't looking and am currently sitting in a baseball park with my pants full of grass and dirt. What do i do?

                                Comment

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