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  • Is it Illegal if i runaway from my dads house but go to my moms

    My dad and mom are separated and my dad has treated me like a servant for 5 years. Ive been taking care of my little brothers while all he does is eat sleep and work. He barely ever goes to the store so i have to scavenhe the house for food. Nobody but my mom has helped me with this and i only see her on the weekends. I feel like he wants to abuse me and get rid of me. I used to babysit my brothers while he worked crazy hours but since he only paid me 5$ a day i quit and he gave it to my 11 year old brother which makes me feel worthless. Ive had suicidal thoughts since 2015 and i want to leave. Is it illegal if i runaway and go to my moms house? Ive been really scared of him since he decided to spank us and have us a bruise for a week. Should I run to risk him finding me or should i stay and be treated like sh*t?

    Comment


    • Re: Is it Illegal if i runaway from my dads house but go to my moms

      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like there is a lot going on at home. You mentioned feeling worked like a servant and not taken care, which by no means do you deserve. You also mentioned feeling scared because you were hit and left with bruises. You deserve to feel safe, taken well care of, and supported at home. If you are ever feeling threatened or unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to emergency services (911) and child protective services. If you'd like to explore making a report, Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453, www.childhelp.org can assist with explaining the process.

      We can't speak specifically on what's legal for you to do because we do not ave legal expertise, however, 18 is the general age you could leave without any possible consequences occurring. If your mom has guardianship over you still, police may not do much about you leaving. However, your dad could choose to file you as a runaway in which you may be returned home. Police may recommend your parents handle things between them by going to court for custody if that has not yet happened. The situation can really play out differently as it depends on whether or not you're listed as a runaway and if police would even intervene. Often the best way to find out what police would do is call out to your local non-emergency police number. If you are able to call us or chat we could connect with the police and ask some questions on your behalf.

      Whatever you may choose to do, we hope you are safe. Your safety and well-being is important. If you'd like to talk more or explore some safe options please reach out by phone or chat soon.

      Take care,

      NRS
      Last edited by ccsmod6; 09-01-2016, 04:31 AM.
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • possibly may runaway?

        im from canada, so i dont think its a very good idea to call the number that you guys have.

        Im gonna try and make this as short as possible, and im hoping you guys reply quickly.

        So, my mom divorced and lives in a house with me and my brother, which we live in the week. On the weekends, we see my dad, which he is innoncent in this
        problem, and so is my mom. they are both very kind, but my mom hired this guy once to fix our deck at her place. The guy did little to no work done, but my
        mom and the guy got really friendly and they became friends. He later on moved in with us, without my mom's permission. I didnt really like him at all, but
        i was kind and nice enough for him.

        Fastforward a year or two, he now controls my grades and how i learn in school without any permission from my mom. Whenever i come home from school, he asks
        me what i got for homework, and then i have to sit in the living room all day, either homework or not. Somedays i wont even see my bedroom. Recently, he has
        been yelling at me for everything i do, whether it was me or not, and it's peeing me off. I cant stand living in my moms house anymore with him being around.
        His voice also agrivates me now because all i hear him do is yell at me all the time. I asked my mom if he can leave, but all she does is brushes it off and
        says he has to help with lawnwork, outside work, etc. She even comes to me somtimes and tells me he does not want him over here at all, but she wont step up
        her game and get him out. Earlier today i cried cause he was yelling at me cause I have 3 assignments to work on and i got them on friday, even though im
        almost dont the first one. its literally the first day of highschool and im crying cause i dont want him around and he completely lied to me, cause he said
        he would leave me alone but he lied. Im thinking of running away to either my dad's house or my friends house. I probably wont, but what should I do to get
        my mom to use her powers to get this guy out of our house?

        ~s

        Comment


        • re: possibly may runaway?

          Hey there,

          Thanks for sharing your story. It seems like you have some issues going with the man that moved into the house with you and your mom. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
          We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

          Best of luck to you,
          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • can my parents call the police?

            So I've been wanting to do this for a while now but never really had the guts to do it until now. Since the age of 10 I have never really got along with my parents at all. Some people just call them strict because they don't know the full details of it. No, there's something inbedded in their minds that they feel sick at the first sign of me being happy, it freaks me out, they treat me like I'm dirt on their shoe or a dog that does every command, It isn't strict, its like being a prisoner in your own home, not being able to go anywhere, not being able to see any of your friends for more than a couple of hours after school, I wasn't even allowed to see my friend on her birthday because mum didn't want me to have fun after 'everything i put her and my dad though' I am currently 15, there is a party tomorrow and I am going to it, one way or another, and my parents don't know about it, and I'll probably come back the next day but I'll be prepared for a clip round the ear. Basically, can my parents call the police if im missing for one night?

            Comment


            • Re: if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

              Hello and thanks for sharing on our forum. We’re very sorry to hear you feel like a prisoner in your home. Running away seems like something you’ve considered for quite some time and now you have an opportunity to do so by going to a party.
              The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
              If you are in the United States, our understanding is running away is most commonly considered a status offense. However, your parents/guardians generally have the right to file you as a runaway/missing juvenile if you leave home without permission even for just a night. We are not legal experts; however, if you share your city/state, we can find your local police or sheriff’s non-emergency number. Hopefully this helps and best of luck!
              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

              Tell us what you think about your experience!
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

              Comment


              • Hello,
                I don't know what to do here, so last night I got into a fight with my step-dad because he said where is your phone and I said it is on top of the pantry then he started to yell at me saying where TF is your other phone with the SIM card and I said it is in my bag then he said right you lost it too. I asked why are you taking it off me, it's because you where on fb last night well I said my friend was texting me and I told her that i am trying to sleep and he came in and said in the morning give ur phone to ur mother then he walked out.
                So I went on with my day he said where is your phone and I said it is on top of the pantry then he started to yell at me saying where TF is your other phone with the SIM card and I said it is in my bag then he said right you lost it too. So then he said ur being spiteful and I asked,how am I being spiteful then he started acting like he is the king of the joint with the shoulder out. Then he said u want to know how you are being spiteful I will show u how u are, then I a storm off slamming the door behind me the he came in and said Right you want to slam s*** in my house you pack you bags and gtfo here and my mum did not stop him I slammed the fly screen door and went to a friends place and went to another friends place then I called my mum to see if I am aloud to come home or not then she said I am stand with your friends mum so u better start walking I thought we'll I am in deep S*** what do I do
                Can you please help me!!!

                Comment


                • RE:

                  Hello There,
                  Thanks for posting here on the National Runaway Safeline website.
                  We’re sorry to hear about this big fight you had with your step-dad and your mom. It sounds like things got pretty heated. We’re so sorry that you’re experiencing this right now, it sounds like a scary situation. We’re really glad you reached out to us today, these types of things can be really tough to deal with.
                  It sounds like step-dad has a temper. That can be difficult to handle. It sounds like he’s misunderstanding you and the two of you are butting heads about a lot of things. If you’d like, you could give us a call here and we could try to come up with ways to approach this issue and talk to your step-dad more effectively. We could also try to conference call with your mom and see if we can find a way to let them allow you to come home. All you’d have to do is give us a call here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we’d be happy to help the best we can.
                  Take care and best of luck in this difficult time.
                  -NRS
                  Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                  National Runaway Safeline
                  [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                  1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                  Tell us what you think about your experience!
                  https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                  Comment


                  • Runaway

                    Hello,
                    I'm 14 years old I live and NY with both my grandparents aunt and cousins and I dislike them deeply I don't plan on running away at the moment because I want to finish school and everything but when I'm 17 I want to leave they tell me I can't but I'm really not sure if I run away if they'll call the cops and track me down so I want to know if that would be the right age so I'm basically not running away I just want some info.

                    Comment


                    • Re: Runaway

                      Hello,

                      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things at home with your relatives are not going well for you and you are wanting to plan out how you can leave at the age of 17. We are really glad you contacted us and we are here to listen and support you in what ways we can.

                      It must be difficult for you to be somewhere where you do not want to be. Again, we are glad that you reached out. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

                      Something to consider is that 17 can be a tricky age, and it is up to the police department if they are going to force you to return home at that age. Some police departments will take the runaway report but not actively look for you, while others may force you to be home till you turn 18. One way to get better information is to contact your local police department and ask in general terms. You do not need to give any personal information while talking to them about your situation.

                      We are sorry you have to go through this, but again we are glad that you decided to reach out. We are here 24/7, so if you want to call us on our hotline, or chat with us via our website we would be happy to do so. We hoped this helped and we look forward to hearing from you. Best of luck.

                      NRS
                      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                      National Runaway Safeline
                      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                      Comment


                      • My parents fight and I want to leave

                        I'm 16, turning 17 next month. My step mom cheated on my dad, and he found out in May and they had their first fight. It got physical and I had my sister pick me up. When I came back home that night, I had to talk my dad out of suicide. Then, there were a couple fights but they didn't get physical. Then, about a month went by, and things got physical again. This time, they were a lot worse and I had to get involved. I had to stop them from hurting each other. I had to physically stop my dad from punching himself in the face. Then, there were a couple arguments here and there but nothing too bad. The last time they fought was over a month ago, and it was just an argument. I've talked to my dad about it, and told him how much it affects me. I go to see a physiatrist now, but I still worry every night. It's like a ticking timebomb and I'm just waiting for it to go off. I've never been hurt or been the topic of an argument, so I can't say I know anything what a lot of people who post here know. But I'm not sure what to do. I'm tired of being afraid every night that there will be a big fight. I've had thoughts about dying, but never really thoughts about killing myself. I just wish I weren't where I am. I would appreciate some advice or help if anyone has any. Thank you.

                        Comment


                        • Re: if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

                          Hi,

                          Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things are really difficult at home right now. Home should be a place where you feel safe and loved. We are here to help you explore your options.

                          You shared that you have had thoughts about dying. It’s understandable to be feeling overwhelmed with everything going on between your parents. If you are currently thinking about suicide or harming yourself in anyway, there are resources to support you. The National Suicide Hotline can be reached by calling 1-800-273-TALK. They have trained professionals to help you. You mentioned that you are seeing a psychiatrist right now. Have you told them about your thoughts of dying? They may be able to offer you more support on this topic or refer you to a psychologist. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and we are many resources to help you.

                          It sounds like you have been around a lot of fighting between your parents at home, both physical and verbal. It must be really scary to be around. You are very brave to try and stop your parents from hurting themselves and each other. If you feel that you or one of your parents are ever in immediate physical danger, you can always call the police at 9-1-1. Other options could be to get to somewhere safe, like locking yourself in your bedroom or leaving to a friend’s house until the fighting has ended.

                          You also mentioned that you wished you weren’t where you are. We can help you explore options of leaving your home. While we are not legal experts, generally speaking if you were to run away from home, as a minor, your parents have the right to file a runaway report. What this means is that if the police were to find you, they could make you return home. So if you’re considering leaving home, you may want to think of ways to get permission from your parent’s to stay with a friend or family member, until things calm down at home. It sounds like you really care about both of your parents and that you have tried a lot. Your safety and happiness is important. We hope some of these options are of help to you.

                          If you would like further help exploring any of these options or others in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling us at 1-800- RUNAWAY or chatting with us live on our website at www.1800.runaway.org. We look forward to hearing from you.

                          Take care,
                          NRS
                          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                          National Runaway Safeline
                          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                          Comment


                          • My mom and dad are abusing me, I feel I should run away. What can I do?

                            Both my mom and dad abuse me at home. Ive been looking into running away for awhile now and i just really dont want to do it just incase my friend's parents could get in trouble with the law.
                            So, basically my mom and dad got into a divorce over a year and a half ago. In their relationship, my dad verbally abused my mom. This gave her stress and depression.
                            When they split, my dad didn't stop his abusive ways. Ever since then, the abuse has gotten worse. Not to my mom, but to me and my little sister (who is 7). When we are with him, he verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abuses me and my sister. Just last week he called me a b**ch and my sister a pig because she eats to much. He also threatened to start beating us with a belt. He hits me and my sister across the face if we "back talk" which we really dont back talk, we are trying to stand up for our selfs. He screams at us if we do something wrong (such as forget to do something he has asked us to do, if we ask him a simple question, basically anything if we communicate with him first). We also have to clean the whole house. I have to do the dishes, clean both bathrooms, take care of the dishes, vacuum both my sisters and my room, sweep the bathrooms, kitchen, dinning room, and the living room, clean my room and all my sister has to do is clean her room. All my dad does for us is cooks (hes trying to teach me to cook so he doesnt have to do it anymore) and buys the food. I also have to finish all of those things before he gets home (and my homework) before he gets home. If one thing isnt done, he'll call us names and yell at us. My dad has given me the worst case of anxiety and depression. Over the summer, its hard to say, ive tried to overdose a couple times to try and make all of the pain he has given me away. But it didnt work, i woke up each time.
                            With my mom is a different story. She did drugs and is now in jail for the 3rd time doing drugs. She used to slap me and my sister across the face like my dad. There really isnt much about her because i haven't really seen her a whole lot because shes in jail.
                            Now about the running away part. My friend just recently moved to New Hampshire (i live in maine and its about 3 and a half hours away) and me and him have been best friends since forever. Hes like my brother.
                            His mom has always been there for me, shes been like my mom that i never had because my real mom is in jail. She said that she would be more then happy to let me stay with them so i can figure something out about my dad. Ive met his family before and i feel more comfortable with his family then my own. Theyre all just so supportive and so nice.
                            If i do go and live with them, will they get in trouble for taking me away from the abuse? I really cant live in my own house anymore without feeling unwanted, scared, and stressed.

                            Comment


                            • Re: if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

                              Hi,
                              Thank you for reaching out to us at National Runaway Safeline. We’re glad you contacted us and we are here to help.
                              You explained you and your sister have been experiencing verbal physical abuse at home by your father and previously by your mom before she went to jail. We’re very sorry to hear this is going on. This must be a very difficult situation to be in. No matter what, you definitely do not deserve to be abused in any way. Your safety is our number one concern.
                              We’re glad you have reached out for support from your best friend and his mom. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone. You also have a right to file a child abuse report with CPS. We understand that filing an abuse report can be a difficult process. Child Help USA - 1-800-422-4453 - is a hotline that can answer questions and walk you through this process. We at National Runaway Safeline can also help you file a report if you would like. If so, please contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Other sources of support might be school counselors or a teacher if you attend school outside of the home.
                              You asked if your friend’s mom would get in trouble for letting you stay with her. Most states have laws against harboring a runaway, which may apply in this case if your dad files a runaway report. If there is an active runaway report, the police can possibly return you to your home. This is some general information though we are not legal experts at NRS.
                              You mentioned having a suicide attempt this past summer. We’re very sorry to hear that you went through this. Your safety is important. There are resources that can help in situations of suicidal thoughts and self-harm: The National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-TALK(8255). WWW.Suicidepreventionlifeline.org has chat hours between 2pm-2am EST. We can also help you explore safety options in the event that you have these thoughts again at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
                              Please do not hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY to discuss your situation further to come up with other possible resources or safety plan for you.
                              Best of luck,
                              NRS
                              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                              National Runaway Safeline
                              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                              Tell us what you think about your experience!
                              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                              Comment


                              • Re: if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

                                im 16 and my nana kicked me out of the house but shes making me go to a baptist home thing in another state. am i able to decide where i go??

                                Comment

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