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if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

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  • I don't know what to do.

    Hello.
    I'm going to keep this post as brief as I can.
    I've been struggling with an alcoholic mother since around March (i'd say).
    She has been a lot meaner for a lot less of a reason over these past months, and it seems to be getting worse.
    It's not at the point of abuse (yet), but it's slowly approaching that point.
    My father is perfectly normal, but he's oblivious.
    I have no clue what to do.
    I just need to reach out and tell someone, even if it's on the Internet. If I'm posting in the wrong thread, please inform me one where I can get a reliable answer.
    I love my mother and all, and I love my father more-so, but I feel like I'm running out of ways to cope with my alcoholic mother.
    If you have any ideas, please, help. I have no clue what to do.
    (If you want an exact pinpoint, she's currently at the point of thinking she's a lot better than me and that she's unable to be wrong.)

    Comment


    • Re: I don't know what to do.

      Hello,

      We are really glad that you have reached out to the National Runaway Safeline. You did post on the correct thread and hopefully we can offer you some support. It’s very brave of you to contact someone and ask for help. We will try to help you think through this situation and handle it as best you can.

      It seems like this has really been bothering you for quite some time now. It must be really hard for you to know what to do and say when dealing with your mother and it is okay if you are unsure of what to do.

      You mentioned that your mother has never been abusive to you but is slowly approaching that point. We want to make sure that you look out for your safety. Some things to ask yourself when your mother seems to get mean for no reason is 1.) Can you avoid her at the moment? 2.) What kinds of things can you say that keep her calm or agreeable? 3.) Should you get your dad involved? Sometimes staying calm and being aware of the situation can make you feel better about it.

      It is really great that you have a good relationship with your father, but it must be difficult if he is not understanding the hard time you are having coping with your mom. Have you tried talking to him about exactly how you are feeling? If you can get him to understand the trouble you are having, maybe he could offer support and make the situation better for you and your mom. Another option might be to try talking to another adult or even peers. Even if they are not able to change the situation, sometimes talking things through and getting things off your chest can help you to cope.

      If you do not feel comfortable talking to anyone you know, there are some organizations that you can contact to get some support. National Runaway Safeline has a 24-hour hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) that you can talk to a person on the phone 24/7. They can answer any questions you have and help you talk through your situation. You may also find our online chat helpful. You can chat back and forth with a person online. You can access this on our website. We do have some other organizations that are more specific to your situation, you can try to contact them to get some support. The first is Families Anonymous, where they offer support for family members of alcoholics. The number is 1-800-736-9805. There is also a similar organization called Al-Anon (www.al-anon.org) where they may be able to help you cope with a loved one’s drinking.

      Again, it is very courageous of you to reach out to us for help. We are really glad you were able to contact us. Remember, if you would like to talk further, please feel free to call or chat us. We are always here to listen and help. Good luck!

      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • More information that can lead to getting my mother help

        Originally posted by ccsmod11 View Post
        Hello,

        We are really glad that you have reached out to the National Runaway Safeline. You did post on the correct thread and hopefully we can offer you some support. It’s very brave of you to contact someone and ask for help. We will try to help you think through this situation and handle it as best you can.

        It seems like this has really been bothering you for quite some time now. It must be really hard for you to know what to do and say when dealing with your mother and it is okay if you are unsure of what to do.

        You mentioned that your mother has never been abusive to you but is slowly approaching that point. We want to make sure that you look out for your safety. Some things to ask yourself when your mother seems to get mean for no reason is 1.) Can you avoid her at the moment? 2.) What kinds of things can you say that keep her calm or agreeable? 3.) Should you get your dad involved? Sometimes staying calm and being aware of the situation can make you feel better about it.

        It is really great that you have a good relationship with your father, but it must be difficult if he is not understanding the hard time you are having coping with your mom. Have you tried talking to him about exactly how you are feeling? If you can get him to understand the trouble you are having, maybe he could offer support and make the situation better for you and your mom. Another option might be to try talking to another adult or even peers. Even if they are not able to change the situation, sometimes talking things through and getting things off your chest can help you to cope.

        If you do not feel comfortable talking to anyone you know, there are some organizations that you can contact to get some support. National Runaway Safeline has a 24-hour hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) that you can talk to a person on the phone 24/7. They can answer any questions you have and help you talk through your situation. You may also find our online chat helpful. You can chat back and forth with a person online. You can access this on our website. We do have some other organizations that are more specific to your situation, you can try to contact them to get some support. The first is Families Anonymous, where they offer support for family members of alcoholics. The number is 1-800-736-9805. There is also a similar organization called Al-Anon (www.al-anon.org) where they may be able to help you cope with a loved one’s drinking.

        Again, it is very courageous of you to reach out to us for help. We are really glad you were able to contact us. Remember, if you would like to talk further, please feel free to call or chat us. We are always here to listen and help. Good luck!

        NRS
        This morning, I got a big, big piece of information that will probably help with the solution.
        I was talking to my mother about her problem (because I knew she was sober), and she said she drinks to take the pain away.
        There was a point on last Saturday that depressed her and made her drink a lot, and this isn't the first time that this kind of thing has happened, and most of the time it is some sort of drama that brings her to the "dark side".
        I can understand a lot more from a 10-minute conversation, and this will probably help get closer to the solution.

        Comment


        • Re: More information that can lead to getting my mother help

          Hi there,

          Thank you for reaching out to us again here at the National Runaway Safeline. It is really good to hear that you were able to talk to your mom about what’s been going on when she was sober and able to communicate in an effective way. We’re glad that you have been able to get this clarification on the situation and we hope that it will be helpful in making things better between the two of you.

          If you would like to talk further about what’s going on, please do not hesitate to call us or chat with us. We are here to support you as much as we can.

          Good luck and stay safe,
          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
          Tell us what you think about your experience!

          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

          Comment


          • What do i do..

            I need help. My mom wont let me leave the house because of "curfew" laws. All i do in my house is sit on my a** and do nothing but see what my friends are doing. She doesnt understand that whenever i leave the house i am always with people 18+ and im always safe. Why the h*** does she get to say "i dont want you there" and have legal backup? She is just a mother. A crazy b**** who will find any way to get me in trouble and make sure she knows where i am. She threatens the police every time i go to leave when i can sustain life on my own. Yeah i will come back home but i need to be free. I need to get out of this house, you dont understand how much i need to leave. My mom is a hypocritical non reasonable person who was everything like me its just she went the wrong path. She doesnt see i wont take that path and even if i did she cant b**** at me about it because she did worse at a younger age.

            Comment


            • Re: What do i do..

              Hello there,
              It sounds like you and your mom really aren’t getting along and you’d like more independence. One of the main issues seems to be the fact you feel your mom is hypocritical given the things she did when she was younger. At the same time we imagine it’s frustrating having her also threaten to call the police every time you leave home. Although we aren’t sure of your age, it sounds like you’re still under 18. Some states do offer emancipation though if you feel like you can support yourself on you own (employment/income, living arrangements, high school diploma/GED, etc.) If we know your city/state we can look up the basic information we have and also offer a legal aid resource for more information. We’re more than happy to continue talking about your situation and hope you consider trying our Live Chat. Hopefully this provides a start and best of luck!
              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

              Tell us what you think about your experience!
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

              Comment


              • can I get arrested for running away at 17

                All I have is trouble with my parents and I was wondering will I get arrested if I ran away I have always planned it but never did I work two jobs I take care of myself when parents won't they treat me like crap saying I'm not going to do anything with my life I'm going to be dead or in jail I get so tired of hearing that but I have this aunt who watched me like I was one of her own while my dad was in jail for 7 years of my life she had half custody of me I can't go to jail right?

                Comment


                • can I get arrested for running away at 17

                  Hi,
                  Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

                  It sounds like you are having some difficult times at home that has you thinking about running away.
                  We do not have full knowledge of your situation and we cannot predict whether or not you will go to jail if you ran away.
                  The general information that we know of states that running away from home is a status offense meaning that it is wipe away once you are recovered and returned home. In other words it is not illegal to run away in most states. Does that make sense?
                  Everyone has their own individual story we would like to hear yours.
                  This may help us provide you with more information or referrals that might fit your needs.

                  We do understand sometimes situations can feel unbearable and running away becomes a thought or option. The thing you might ask is how does this improve or possibly worsen my position?
                  There is the question of being able to survive on your own.

                  Do you have a plan?
                  Give NRS a call at 1-800- Runaway (786-2929) or visit www.1800Runaway.org.
                  We are here to listen 24hrs a day.
                  We appreciate you taking the initiative to reach out to NRS. Good job.

                  Take Care,
                  NRS
                  Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                  National Runaway Safeline
                  [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                  1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                  Tell us what you think about your experience!
                  https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                  Comment


                  • I texted one of my friends on his phone and his dad called me about 2 hours later. He said my friend left a note saying he was leaving for 10 days. He said he was going to the police and asked if I might know where my friend is. And I dont, I haven't spoken to him in months rather than the time I texted him before his dad called. Well, he said the police might call me and question me.. I dont know where he is but I'm really nervous I can get in trouble with the law although I don't know anything..

                    Comment


                    • RE:

                      Hello there,

                      Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you're worried about getting in trouble with the law regarding your friend. We are not legal experts, but it seems unlikely that you will get in any legal trouble if you do not know specifics of where he is at. Generally if a youth has gone missing, it is customary that the police contact friends or family to see if the youth is safe or have been to those places. Regardless of what you know, you cannot be forced to say anything if asked. Perhaps you may want to talk to someone more about your involving your friend. If you would like to talk more about what's going on in a safe, confidential space we are here for you bu phone 24/7 by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We can talk more about your fears or any other concerns you may have.

                      We hope to hear from you soon and wish you well.

                      Best,

                      NRS
                      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                      National Runaway Safeline
                      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                      Tell us what you think about your experience!
                      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                      Comment


                      • if i run away

                        I am a month away from being 18 and I want to leave. All I get here at home is emotional abuse. Home is supposed to be where you feel wanted and loved and safe. I feel none of those. I know where I wanna go, but what happens if they call the cops. I don't want to go home. I have a bag packed and I can have my boyfriend come get me, but I'd like to know the consequences. Please help.

                        Comment


                        • if i run away

                          Hello there,

                          Thanks for reaching out to us during this difficult time. It sounds like you are wanting to leave and don’t feel safe where you currently are. You do deserve to feel safe and wanted wherever you live. Nobody deserves to be abused or made to feel afraid if your own home.

                          You mentioned you are thinking about going to stay with your boyfriend. Just to let you know, we are not legal experts. If you leave home without your legal guardian’s permission, they do have the right to call the police and report you missing. They also have the right to press charges against anyone you would be staying with for ‘harboring a runaway.’ You may consider whether your boyfriend willing to risk harboring you. If not, it sounds like you may need to consider other options.

                          Typically once you turn 18, you are considered a legal adult and usually cannot be reported as a runaway. If you do feel you can wait a month, it might be easier from a legal standpoint. Here at the National Runaway Safeline we cannot tell you what you should or should not do. We can however help you explore options, and come up with a solid plan for what your next steps are. Please feel free to contact us at any time.
                          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                          National Runaway Safeline
                          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                          Tell us what you think about your experience!
                          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                          Comment


                          • I can't stop crying

                            When I was in the second grade, my father started to spank me more often because i got bad grades. I continue not to have the best grades, but he still spanks me on the butt. Hits me on the mouth and has even dragged me across the room. He tells me its just "punishment" but I am 14 and he still hurts me.I cannot deal with both of my parents because my dad is mean while my mom just sits there and watches. I am currently hiding in my closet now because I am afraid. Both of my parents have made me so emotionally distressed that i want to cry almost every night. Can you tell me exactly what child abuse is and also where to go if i run away? I have no family or friends i can talk to about this.

                            Comment


                            • I can't stop crying

                              Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

                              Are you safe now? Do you need medical attention?

                              Your safety is top priority. You do not deserve to be hit / punched in the mouth or dragged across a floor.
                              That’s considered child abuse.
                              It’s not your fault that your parents are being abusive towards you and you should know that there are laws to protect you from child abuse.

                              When something like what you described is happening you have the option of dialing 9-1-1 for help if you can get to a phone. You also have the option of filing an abuse report with child protective services.

                              Child Help USA: 1800-422-4453 (Info where to report child Abuse)
                              Since we are a mandated reporting agency NRS can also assist you by filing a child abuse report on your behalf. How does that sound?

                              We understand that you are frightened by this behavior. Good for you keeping yourself safe by hiding.
                              You are very brave to reach out for help. Again good for you.
                              To talk about options to consider should you decide to run away call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or visit 1800Runaway.org (NRS live chat).

                              We hope you remain safe and want you to know NRS is available 24hrs a day.
                              Take Care,
                              NRS
                              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                              National Runaway Safeline
                              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                              Tell us what you think about your experience!
                              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                              Comment


                              • Abused and want to runaway

                                I'm 16 and have recently been abused by my father. I wanted to know if I call the police what will they tell me. I have the abuse marks on my person and wanted to know what will happen if I show it to them . Will they take me somewhere else? Can I go somewhere I know is safe ? Please help

                                Comment

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