if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

[ccsmod3]

Re: if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

Hello there,

We’re glad you decided to contact us at the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot lately and are trying to figure out your options. We are very sorry to hear you’ve been abused both by your mom and dad. No one deserves to be abused regardless of the type of abuse. We can’t say for certain what will happen if she calls the cops and tries to file you as a runaway. However, that sometimes happens even when parents say their child

Child Help USA: National Organization that provides information in abusive situations
1-800-422-4453

http://www.childhelp.org/

RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network): Provide support for a variety of sexual abuse and assault situations
1-800-656-HOPE

http://www.rainn.org/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

It sounds like you’ve already done quite a bit of research regarding emancipation for you state and we also have some basic guidelines here for states where it is offered. If you’d like to contact us directly either through our Live Chat (red button at www.1800runaway.org) from 4:30 to 11:30 pm CST or 24/7 by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), we can continue discussing different options with you.

In the meantime, we hope you are able to keep yourself safe and encourage you to contact us directly.

Best of luck, NRS

[Unregistered]

16 in an abusive home?

Hello,
I'm 16 years old and will be 17 in October. Sorry that this will be long, but I need to get it off my chest. I'm pretty sure my parents could be considered abusive. Dont get me wrong I do love my parents, they are my parents. But I do not like them as people? In ways' I really almost hate my father, and lately have a dislike for my mother. My dad can be nice sometimes and my parents will let me have sleepovers and let me go in town sometimes but the think since they do that, that they are the best people ever. They aren't. I cant tell you how often my father makes me cry. My father has hurt me physically in the past and emotionally/verbally through out my life. A year or two ago I was dragged me by my hair in front of my friend because her and I got lost in the dark on the way back to the campsite. When I was in 5th grade he destroyed my room twice throwing garbage and clothes and knocking things over because he made me walk to the gas station for tea and instead of coming home right away i stopped at my friends to see if she could come down to my house and hang out and she only lived a few blocks away. When I was 12 he dumped ice cream all over me for leaving the carton out when there wasn't even enough in there for a full bowl. A year or two ago in the summer my dad was fixing our lawn mower and told me to put his tool away. He apparently told me to put it IN the back of his truck. And I had put it ON the back of his truck and it rained so his tool got wet. He saw and threatened to beat me then when we got in my house he pushed me over a coffee table. I landed on my arm so hard it almost got sprained. Then he picked me up by my hair and kept tugging it and smacking me until I said "I'm sorry you think I'm such a bad child and I'm sorry you dont love me." Then he stopped and threw me on the couch and told me to get an ice pack and put it on my arm and face because my eyes were purple. My mom came home later that day from work, he told her what had happened and she came in my room. She looked at me and said "you're fine" and walked away. Then my dad made a doc appointment and got on an anti depressant I believe it is. So now he hasn't hit me in awhile but a few months ago he pushed me down our hall way. And on mothers day/ his birthday he made a cage for our birds outside. He told me to get food and water. I used their old dishes they've been using. He said dont use them. Then he kept rushing me and wouldn't tell me what dishes to use to I used them anyway. He yelled at me and said "didn't i tell you not to ********en use those dishes?!" Then he slapped the dished out of my hand, dumping them all over me, and said "put this on facebook!" My mom stood there and watched shaking her head and yelled at me to stop crying. My dad is constantly calling me names or making fun of me. I weigh 98lbs and my dad will tell me I'm fat and have big thighs. So I started believing I was fat until I was told other wise. He'll yell me I'm an iddiot, a retard, a **********. He's even told me that I'm a piece of ********. I talked to both my parents about how the get and they see no problem and I'm told I have an attitude problem and need to stop acting like a victim. I've been recently grounded because I was seeing my boyfriend who they did not want me with. When they found out I was seeing them and that I asked my aunt to help me get birth control they were pissed. And I understand they would be mad but they went over the top. My mom gounded me without tv, phone, and internet. I got my tv back, and I need to ask to use anything else. Right now no one is at home so I was able to write this. I need help. But when my dad yelled at me for seeing my boyfriend I was in tears. My dad told me I was a slut because I gave the boy my virginity and that I probably go off in town sleeping with all the men and get drunk and smoke lots of weed. I told him thats not true and he's like I dont believe you. And I really wouldn't do those things. I'm a good kid and a good student. For the most part my grades are A's B's and high C's. I've made honor role a few times now. My dad told me they failed with me and that it's hard for him to love me anymore. He said I might as well live with my best friend (who knows about my home life) or to call the cops and he'd tell them to go ahead and take me away. Btw my boyfriend was 18 and we are not together because of my parents, we still have feelings for each other. I have also talked to a teacher and my guidance counselor and they told me to either call a child abuse hotline or the cops. But my counselor said she's a mandated reporter and could report it. But I asked her not to because I didn't want people coming to the house I'd feel safer if they talked to me at school. I've thought of running away and I know I shouldn't but I dont know what else to do. My friend said to call the cops and her and her family would take me in if a I need somewhere to go. But I'm too scared to call the cops. And i dont know what would happen with my sister who is not abused. I dont want them going to jail because my sister has autism and no one takes better care of her or understands her more than my mother can. Please help i dont know what to do. I just know I want to leave my house. My grandparents believe me because they know how my dad gets but said they cant do anything. My dad lies and says he's never hurt me and that I just "misbehave" and my mother tells people that I "just need to grow up" It makes me so mad to hear that they tell people this, when it's the other way around. They act like I'm a little child hence they said I dont "behave" I do everything they say. I do all my chores (dishes, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning up after the pets, my laundry and anything else i'm asked to do.) No matter what I'm put down. I dont want to stay here any longer, what can I do? I'm too afraid to call the cops and my dad say that he never did anything.

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for contacting us and telling us what is going on. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now and we are glad that you have reached out to us for assistance. You sound like a very brave person.

We are sorry to hear about the way that your parents treat you. Nobody deserves to feel unsafe or scared while at home. It sounds like you have told a few people at school about what is going on but asked them not to make a report because you are scared of how your dad will react. It also sounds like you have some friends and other family members who want to help you but aren’t sure how to do that. You mentioned that your friend has said you can live with her family but it sounds like you are concerned about your sister’s safety. We aren’t legally trained here but, if you were to file a report, Child Protective Services would have to do an investigation before making a determination about the abuse. After that, they would tell your parents what they need to do (attend counseling, participate in parenting classes, etc…).

It sounds like you are a good student and that you try hard in school. Congratulations on making the honor roll at school. What did your parents say about that?

You mentioned that you want to leave home instead of calling the police. Do you know where you might go if you did leave? Here at NRS, we have a database of resources that we can search to help find you resources, such as shelter or other safe places to go. Unfortunately, most shelters are required by law to alert your parents that you are there unless you tell them about your home life. Then, they would be required to make an abuse report because they are also mandated reporters. If you were to tell them, they may be able to let you stay for a few days before contacting your parents. But, this is different for every shelter. If you would like to explore this option more, please give us a call. We can help you locate shelters and help call them with you.

Also, there are two agencies that can help answer your questions about your home life and may also be able to provide you with resources. The first one is called Justice for Children and their number is 1-800-733-0059. The other one is called Child Help USA and their number is 1-800-422-4453.

If you would like further assistance or to explore your options, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We also have online chat that is available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week.

We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

~NRS

[Unregistered]

Runaway

Hi I'm fourteen years old and I have to get out of my house. My mom is an alcoholic and has cursed at me every night, telling me that I am a selfish b**** and names similar. She said she is happier when I'm not around her, and she almost hit me last week. My parents are divorced, but I don't see my dad that often and I don't know what to do. How can I runaway? Or at least how can I have my dad have full custody of me?

[ccsmod8]

Hello,

Thanks for getting in touch with us. It sounds like you going through quite a lot right now. We are here for you. You are not alone. It is very brave of you to reach out to get support and resources. We are not in a position to tell you what to do. We cannot tell you to run away or not. We are here to explore certain options with you.

It sounds like you do not feel safe in your home. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. Does your mother drink around you? We do not define or investigate neglect or abuse but we are mandated reporters. We can report any sort of wrongdoing in your home. However, verbal abuse can at time be very difficult to prove. The name calling seem to be very intense. It is not fair to you.

It must not feel good to hear your mother say that she will be happier if you were not around. It sounds like you have a good ally in your father. Have you thought about telling him all that is happening? It is likely he may be able to speak to your mother for you. You asked how you can runaway. We cannot give you guidance on that issue. We stay neutral in these situations. We are concern for your safety. If you were to leave where will you go?

Custody is something your father may be able to look into if he is able to prove that your mother is unfit to care for you. We are not legal experts. We cannot give legal advice. However, your father can attempt to gain custody of you through the family courts. Can you find out from him if he wants to try that option. We hope some of this information had proven useful to you at this time. We understand this is a very difficult time for you. We are here for you always. Good luck. Stay strong.

-NRS

[Unregistered]

runaway

hey im 17 anfd my birthday is in november , but my mother made me move to austin with my grandparents and i cant take it anymore and she wont let me come home so i have some where to go and i will get a job if i just eave can she call the cops even thou she left me here with out a legal gardian ?

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out and contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. We are glad that you have asked us these questions and, while we aren’t legally trained, we are definitely here to try helping you out.

It sounds like your mom sent you to Austin to live with your grandparents but never actually gave them custody. Is that correct? We are sorry to hear that you don’t feel like you can take it there much longer. Can you tell us a little more about what is going on? You said that your mom won’t allow for you to come home, even though she is still your legal guardian. If that is the case, then she may still be considered legally responsible for you. Again, if that is the case, then she can’t keep you from coming back home but she also may be able to file a runaway report if you were to leave home. Running away isn’t considered illegal but it is considered a status offense; a status offense is something that can’t be done because you are under the age of 18. We aren’t sure what would happen if she were to file a report with the police because they may ask her why you are in Austin if she isn’t.

It sounds like you may have a place to go if you left home; we are glad to hear that. Unfortunately, if your mom finds out that you are staying with someone, she may have the option of charging them with harboring a runaway or contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Again, we don’t know what the consequences for these could be because they vary from state to state.

There is an agency in Austin that provides legal aid and may be able to provide you with some more concrete answers. There name is Out Youth and their phone number is 512-419-1233. They also have a website which is http://www.outyouth.org.

Another agency that may be able to help is called Lawyer Referral Service of Central Texas. They are a match program and offer reduced legal fees for family law matters and guardianship. You also have to be phone screened before being matched so they may be able to answer some of your questions on the phone. Their number is 512-472-8303 and their website is www.austinlrs.com.

Also, we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to speak with someone here. We are completely confidential and anonymous but we can help you contact these or other resources if you would like us to. We can also try to help you find a safe place to go such as shelter, if you do decide to leave home. Our phone number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have an online chat service that is available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST) through our website (http://www.1800runaway.org).

We wish you the best of luck and look forward to hearing from you.

~NRS

[Unregistered]

15 year old considering running away

my girlfriend is 15. she is considering running away from home. she lives with her mom and her boyfriend. her mom recently went through a divorce with her husband, which was hard on her and her little brother and sister. her mom does everything she can to control her life; not letting her leave the house, she no longer has a phone, and she isnt allowed to get her learner's permit. her mom pays absolutely no attention to her children unless its to yell at them, otherwise they are ignored. she is constantly getting drunk in front of her children. she keeps telling her daughter that if she doesnt like the way things are she can move out. ive been looking up iowa's runaway laws and the best plan ive come up with is for her to come live with me. her mom might stay true to her word and let her live somewhere else, or if she reports her as a runaway i know we can call the authorities to inform them that we have her and are willing to cooperate with them. my question is, if it comes to that what are the possible outcomes? is there a chance they wont force her to go home? if they do what other options are available to get her out of that house? we've tried to sit down and talk to her about how she's not doing whats right for her kids, but she refuses to listen, everytime we try she ignores us and walks away. so what else could we do if her mom forces her home? also from what ive read calling the authorities and cooperating should make it so my parents and i dont get in any legal trouble. is that true? thanks for your time and i appreciate the help

[ccsmod8]

RE: If I Runaway Can MY Mom Call The Cops

Hello,

We appreciate you reaching out for information for your girlfriend. It is nice to know that she has someone like you who cares for her and is in her corner. We are not legal experts. We can only give a general overview of runaway laws since laws tend to vary from state to state, county to county. What we know is that it is not considered a crime to run away from home. It is just a status offense for a minor.

If your girlfriend were to run away from home the most that may happen is that she is brought home. It is usually at the police discretion for going to look for her or to even return her home. We cannot guarantee the outcome and cannot speak on what the police may or may not do. However, it is illegal for anyone to harbor her if they do not have permission to keep her.

It is clear that you want to keep her safe and that is admirable. You mentioned that you and your family are willing to cooperate with the local police. It may look favorably on your family that you are trying to do the right thing by her. However, it is within the rights of her mom to file a report with the police to protect herself. If a report is filed, she becomes a runaway legally. It sounds like you are seeking a way to get her out the house. Have you heard about emancipation? This is a process that she may be able to utilize if she is able to prove she can live and survive on her own.

In terms of forcing her to come home, it may come down on what influence her mother have over her or what the police may choose to do. She is 15 so the police may or may not act swiftly. We recommend you call the police locally to find out what they normally do under these circumstances. You are also welcome to give our 1800RUNAWAY (786-2929) number to your girlfriend to call us. We are also mandated reporters. Although we are confidential and anonymous we can report any wrongdoing on behalf of your girlfriend about the mother. It sounds like she may not be entirely safe if her mother is drinking around her.

We do not define or investigate neglect or abuse. It sounds like you are describing neglect. We are designated to report this sort of behavior if she is unsafe. We cannot guarantee the outcome but we can also find her local shelters if this is something she prefers just to get away from home. However, shelters require permission from her mother. If there is anything we can do to ensure that she has a safe option we are here 24 hours day. Good luck.

-NRS

[Unregistered]

drama momma

hey
i am an 18 year old girl (Just turned 18 recently) living in Red Lion PA dating a 17 year old who turns 18 in less then a month. His mom hates me and says we can't see eachother until he is 18 but if it was her choice we would never see eachother again(I didnt do anything wrong to make her not like me shes just way overproctective and hates anyone who dates him) but we are in love and dont feel as though its fair for us to have to wait. He's a good kid very respectful, he works, and pays bills at home. If he came to my house his mom would know he is here and would call the cops. He would be here less then 24 hours but can he get in trouble since he is so close to 18? Can I get in trouble for "kidnapp"?

[ccsmod3]

Re: if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

Hello,

We’re glad you decided to contact us at the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you are going through a very tough situation right now. We are not legal experts, but can provide some general responses to your questions. Running away is usually just a status offense (meaning you haven’t reached the age of majority yet.) It sounds like the person you are dating’s mom won’t allow him to see you which is making your relationship difficult. It’s great he has someone in his life who is supportive and it sounds like spending time together is important to both of you. We cannot say for certain, but many states do consider harboring a runaway to be a misdemeanor crime. Oftentimes, it depends on how the police and/or parent/guardian decide to pursue it, but it sounds like in this case his mom would contact the police.

We can’t say for certain if you would get in trouble for kidnapping or not, but if you would like to find out more we can provide some referrals to legal aid and local law enforcement.

York Area Regional Division
York, PA
(717)741-1259

MidPenn Legal Services
York Location
(717) 848-3605

It sounds you both have some things to consider before deciding what to do next. We are available to talk directly by calling us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat (red button at www.1800runaway.org) from 4:30 to 11:30 pm CST. We hope that helps a bit and wish you all the best!

-NRS

[Unregistered]

Running away

My boyfriend and I are both 17 and want to be together however my mum doesn't like him and doesn't want us together so we are thinking about running away together. I have a job and money saved up but he doesn't. Is there any other way that we can be together without running away? He's my everything and I don't want to lose him. Please let me know! Thanks!

[ccsmod7]

Re: Running Away

It sounds like you and your boyfriend care about each other very much and we are sorry to hear that you are going through this. You mentioned that your mom doesn’t approve of him and she doesn’t want you to be with him and because of this you are thinking of running away. It’s understandable that you may be hurt by her feelings and actions because you obviously care about and want to be with him. If you two did end up running away do you have a safe place that you could go and stay? 17 is a tricky age and in most states the age of majority, when a youth is considered an adult, is 18. At that time you can leave home without parent/guardian permission. Now with that said some states or even counties within states may deal with 17 yr olds differently. Some police may no longer take a report or require a youth to return home at that age. In order to know what the specific laws are in your area sometimes it can be helpful to contact your local police on a non emergency line to ask them how they deal with these circumstances. How do you think your mom would react if you did end up leaving? Do you think there is anything you could do to make the situation between your mom and boyfriend better?

Keep in mind that while we are not here to give you specific advice there is always someone available to provide support, discuss options, and find resources if needed. If you would like to talk with someone immediately about your situation you can always give us a call at our 24 hour hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have an online chat that is available from 4:30p to 11:30p CST. All of our services are completely confidential and anonymous. Please feel free to reach out to us anytime. Take care.

[James]

Running Away.

When I was a child,I would always got beat up by famly members.Then when I was maybe 4,my Mom and Dad always get into fights and stuff.Then my Dad caught my Mom cheating on him with another man.After that my Dad took my mothers money and gamble them off.My Dad even took my life savings account.I had a 2 foot bottle full of 1 dollar bills I've saved since I got it (7 years).Then later I got beat up by my Aunt.Since I live in appartments I ran down to my Mom's Appartment crying.When I ran down there she got mad at me and hit me more because I came down there crying and she said something like "Do you want me to live happy? Huh? Do you?? Then stop crying!" But it was in vietnamese so I'm not sure thats exacly correct.I always wanted to run away until I signed myself up for a counselor.She always helped me through life,she was more of a Mom to me.I had to hide a big secret from her because of my Mom.She always tried her best even though she took my money for her own need.My Counselor helped me through social problems but now I need her to help me with this "Running away" problem.When I told her my family was abusing me,she didnt call the police but she went and came for a home visit.A Day later my Mom came to me saying "Why did you tell your counselor we hit you?" Then we had a long talk aboout it and made me keep it a big secret.In middle school I met this girl named ***.Shes like a sister to me,she helps me through problems,and when I met her family they said they can probably keep me if I ran away.But I'm scared that If I do run away My mom said she would commit suicide.I don't want her dead but I want to live in a better place.I also thought that my bestfriend's Mom and Dad would get taken away for "Kidnapping" me and sent *** away to a foster home.I want to run away but I don't want this to happen.I'm 100% sure that my mom wont give me permission.Now who beats me up is my uncle and Aunty some times.I called my Aunty a "**********" because she kept hitting me because I wasn't eating right like taking off the wrapper.My grandma always gives me bad habbits by taking all my stuff and do everything for me cleans,cooks,then smokes around me.I had to go to the doctor because of her Non-Stop smoking.I wish some one out there would give me some advice.I would be living with my Dad if he didn't past away.

[ccsmod6]

re: runaway

Hi:

Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are so sorry to hear what you have been experiencing at home. It sounds like you have been being physically and verbally abused since your father left. We are sorry to hear about your lost. It sounds like you were able to find some relief once you starting seeing a counselor. However your counselor has told your mother things that you shared with her in secret; that sounds a little disheartening. It seems that you have a friend who may know of the things that you are experiencing at home. It sounds like your friend’s parents are willing to allow you to stay with them. You mentioned that you didn’t want to run away because you didn’t want to get anyone into trouble and that your mom has threatened to commit suicide if you did. Running away can be a difficult decision and to been told what your mom has threatened to do can make it even more difficult. Has the police or the child abuse hotline ever been contacted in the past? It sounds like you are going through a lot terrible things and leaving home may or may not be an option. If you would like to discuss more possible options, you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). In addition to discussing options, we can conference call various agencies to discuss some of your options (i.e. shelter, child abuse reporting, etc…) as well.
We wish you the best of luck. Remember if you ever feel like your immediate safety is at risk, you can dial 9-11.

~NRS