if i runaway can my mom call the cops?

[ccsmod9]

RE: mom left me on side of road now wants to call the cops

 Hi there,

If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.

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National Runaway Safeline
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[Unregistered]

help

hello im 16 living with my mom step dad and 3 younger sisters. I constantly feel neglected and i am constantly getting screamed at my my parents and im sick of it. im planning to run away to my girlfriends house but i dont want the cops called and have them handcuff me and take me back. if i run away do i have to go back to them?

[ccsmod7]

Re: if i runaway can my mom call the cop?

Hello –

Thank you for reaching out with your questions and concerns. It sounds like you are going through a tough time at home right now and would like to leave. You said that you feel neglected and possibly emotionally abused and you are fed up and would like to stay with your girlfriend. No one deserves to be hurt or abused in anyway and if you feel unsafe or neglected at home you do have the right to tell someone what is going on.

It’s tough because at 16 you are still considered a minor so if you left home without permission your parents/guardians would have the right to make a runaway report. Now usually when a report is made and if the police find out where you are they may just pick you up and take you home. In most states running away is not considered a crime, it is more of a status offense. With that said if you don’t feel safe going home you do have the right to talk with the police and they may be able to take you to a safe place such as a local youth shelters. Do you feel it would be helpful to try and talk with a local youth resource in your area about the things going on at home?

Keep in mind that we are confidential and anonymous so if you would like to discuss this situation more in depth you can always reach out to us. There is always someone here to listen, provide support, and even find helpful local resources.

[Unregistered]

Leaving a note?

I have a very sturdy plan to make due with when running away.

What I desperately want to know is, if I leave my mother a note not explaining where I am but that my health is fine and that I am in a safe place; will it at least lessen the odds of the police even minorly willing to look for me?

I have a good cause to leave.. I can't take her verbal battery and constant down putting of my self anymore. It used to be worse, now I fear things are escalating to that point again. I refuse to calls Social services because not only does the rest of my family treat me this way but none of them would bother taking me in either. Plus it is not only my well being on the line either. My younger sibling, would also suffer from this. Her father is far worse, and has no problem beating neither woman nor child.. I won't allow him to even get one chance at full custody of her.

I don't want to be talked out of this and I'd rather not be given tiplines for anything involving foster homes, social services, etc.

My mother is kinder to my sister and hardly even pays her any ill mannered mind. Same from the rest of my family. The only one who needs to get out, is me. I am 15, next year I will be 16. In this time I'm sure my mother will be given motive to harm me with more than just words.. When and if she does; is when I'm making my get away. Is my risk of being dragged back still significantly high?

If so, what can I do to avoid it?

I don't want anything to do with her anymore.. I just want to be left alone.

I have a place to stay which she does not know about, and I plan to keep attending school till I graduate.

I'll even contact her on occasion if I have to.

[ccsmod5]

Re: Leaving a note

Hello,
It sounds like you are being mistreated at home, and you have concerns that this could escalate into physical abuse. It seems like you’ve put a great deal of thought into what to do next. We are glad you took the time to reach out to us.

We understand that you do not want to go through social service agencies at this point, especially because of the need to protect your younger sister from being placed in an unsafe situation. These are valid concerns. As for your question about how to deter the police from searching for you, it really comes down to your mom. If she contacts the police and tells them she wants to file a runaway report, the police would have you on file as a runaway and would be able to look for you. If you were found, you would generally be returned home to your mom, assuming that she is your legal guardian. We really can’t say just how much effort the police will put into looking for you, as this will vary depending on the individual precinct and their handling of runaway reports.

However, staying in contact with your mom and letting her know you are safe might lead her to put less energy into staying in touch with the police about searching for you. This might make it easier to stay where you are, especially if your mom does not have information on this location. If you are found by the police, you could consider explaining your home situation to them, and sharing your concern that returning home would be unsafe. However, these are tough choices, as we cannot guarantee that social services would not be brought in at that point.

You explain that you already have an in depth plan for running away. We encourage you to continue looking into the situation, making sure you know as much as possible about the safety of where you are staying, what you will do for money, whether you will be able to continue your education, etc. Please feel free to give us a call at any time. We are anonymous and confidential, and would be glad to discuss the details with you.

We wish you the best of luck, and hope to talk to you soon.

[Unregistered]

Answer please

If I run away how long will the cops look for me?

[ccsmod3]

Re: answer please

Hello,

It sounds like you are most concerned with how long the cops will look for you if you run away. We aren't legal experts and it can be hard to know exactly how police will respond to each runaway case unfortunately. If your parents/guardians file you as a runaway it generally goes into a National database and stays there until you are found. We're here if you'd like to talk more about your situation.

[Unregistered]

Please answer soon..

I've heavily considered running away for the past few months, everytime me and my mom get into a fight, it escilates quickly, nearly turning into physical fights if I don't leave. I've ran before, stayed at my boyfriends house with him and his mom an dad, they know most of what's going on. I used to live with my two older sisters and my mom, but both have filed abuse charges, which where dropped because my mom is perfect at acting adoring and loving face to face with people but no one knows how she really is. Last time CPS was called, I lied to them, saying she never his my nor my sister, she never screamed or made up stay up until 3 or 4 cleaning nor pushed myself to the point of cutting. I was scared of what would happen, of who I could lose if I didn't lie before, but now, my sister moved out, and now it's just me. She get's mean whenever anything goes wrong. I'll hear her cursing my name in the other rooms or saying she's going to kick my ass.

When she's not being mean, or late at night when she's just 'playing' she ends up hurting me, the other night we where in there and she kept saying I stink, and I was doing what she always would do to annoy me, be near me. I leaned up against the bed then she started kicking at me and that's nothing new, but she ended up kicking me in the chest knocking air out and making it hurt worse than i had been that week, then she started getting pissed and saying it's my fault and to stop being dramatic before turning back to her playful side and throwing pants that she had possibly peed in that morning at me. I only have till about 10 to be on before she wakes up, and it's 9:40.

She's left scratch marks on me and has hurt me before, though rarely leaves any bruises, she drives me insane, calling me names then trying to be my best friend later when I'm still hurting or upset, when she found out I had been cutting, she made me stay in her room, making any jokes and every joke she could about how pathetic I was and how sorry I am. Though now she says she doesn't even remember it, that it never happened when I've nearly comitted suicide over school issues, being severley bullied then coming home to her constant fighting, I still have the scar on my wrist and remember all the pills I've taken.

My friends know about what's going on and have offered me a place to stay, I have a plan on how to get there and what to do until i'm 17, which I turn 17 on July the 1st, the cops are moderatley aware of what's going on, my sister used to date ones brother, but I don't know how friendly they will be anymore.. They had let her leave 3 to 2 months before her birthday and I don't know how much longer I can put up with it.. I'm scarred to leave for my dogs and my cats, she's said she'll kill them before and has threatened abusing them on occasions. I'm scarred of running, but I know the freedom that comes from it because I left before for a little while, for that short time, I wasn't being forced ot clean, I wasn't being made to do her laundry, everything in the house and then try to fit in school, which I couldn't always do because she would have me working, then out of the blue or after she would seriously piss me off, have me go in there and watch a movie with her, and if I would leave the room for longer than her countdown from 5, she would get pissed or threaten to ground me, which frankly you cant ground someone who has nothing to lose.

I already have a feeling today is going to be a bad one and that I'm likely to end up running out in a fight, but I;m honestly scarred to death of it, yet at the same time have such a desire to be free from this place. After years of being bullied, hearing mom with my sister, and having it turned on me, I can't take it anymore. I used to tell my friends that four walls cane make a house, they also can make a prison, and here, it's true. I cannot go outside more than to check the mail, I had to beg to be able to go out on halloween with my boyfriend until 9. I get scared just having to ask her if anyone can come over or if I can go out or to even just walk to dogs down the street.

[ccsmod10]

RE: Please answer soon

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to us during this difficult time. It sounds like things at home are both toxic, violent and terrifying. We are sorry to hear you are in this situation and would like to help you find any way out of it. You mentioned that you have already had contact with Child Protective Services before, have you thought about contacting them again? Even though you may not have told them everything before, it sounds like both CPS and the police have been involved a few times at this point. You have every right to feel safe and wanted in your own home.

You also talked about being bullied at school. If the teachers/counselors don’t already know, it might be a good idea to let them know what’s going on. Here are some links to websites that might be able to help. www.stopbullying.gov, www.netsmartz.org and www.pacer.org/bullying. Nobody deserves to be abused or made afraid to go to school. Also, if you are feeling suicidial or thinking about hurting yourself, you can always call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.
We would also like to talk to you about your situation and help you find a safe place to go. You can also go to www.nationalsafeplace.org and see if there is a Safe Place pickup location close to you. If you wanted to call us we could make outgoing calls to other shelters and try to help you find a safe place to go. If you go over to a friend’s house, even though it isn’t against the law for you to run away from home, anyone you would be caught staying with could possibly be charged with ‘harboring a runaway’.

Please call us if you get a chance so we can help you explore more options and come up with a solid plan for what to do next. Be safe and take care.

[Unregistered]

Please reply soon!

Hi, I'm 17 almost 18. My family and I do not get along and I would like to move out of my house. I've asked plenty of times promising to finishing highschool but I still get a no. I'm not a troubled child, I get good grades and have never been in trouble. I get treated like a little kid with no freedom and just want out. I know where to go and will be well taken care of but I don't want to get the cops called on me. I'm trying to be a responsible with this decision as possible. If I do make this decision can I go to juvenile hall? Or jail? And what states are you legally aloud to runaway from without going to jail? Please help!

[ccsmod14]

Re: Please reply soon!

Hi there,

Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been going through a lot lately. We are here to help you out the best that we can.

So it sounds like you would like to leave home because of the way that you are being treated there. It is understandable that you would want to leave when you feel like you are not given any freedom. It sounds like you are a good student and would like to finish high school and are getting good grades which is great to hear. You said that you know where you would go if you left home, would you be staying with a friend or a relative? We are not going to tell you whether you should leave home or stay, because you know your situation better than we do. We just want to make sure that you are safe in whatever decision you make.

We are not legal experts here, but generally speaking if you leave home without your guardian’s consent, they have the right to make a runaway report. Running away is not illegal, it is a status offense. Typically all that happens is if the police find you, they bring you back home. However, in most states there is a harboring a runaway law, which could potentially effect anyone that you stay with while you are considered a runaway. This varies state by state, sometimes it is a fine and sometimes it can be jail time.

What changes would you need to see at home that would make it manageable to stay? We want to let you know about one of the services that offer here at National Runaway Safeline. Conference calling is a service that we offer to youth that would like us on the line to facilitate a conversation between the two of you, to make sure that you are able to communicate everything that you would like to. If this is something you are interested in doing you can call us any time at 1800runaway.

If you would like to explore your options and situation further, you can call our anonymous and confidential hotline at any time-we are 24/7. We also have chat available from 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST through our website at 1800runaway.org.

Good luck and stay safe,
NRS

[Unregistered]

if she runs away/else

Hi im 22 years old dating a 16 about to be 17 years old. Her parents approve that we date and are also friends with my parents somewhat. Shes being verbally and emotinally abused by her parents and today her dad told her to get out of the house so basically she got kicked out. She doesnt know what to do and i told her that shes welcome to stay here at my parents house. But i dont know if itll be considered a runaway

She has a attempt of suicide on her record and also because of her parents ad also a social worker at school. Her parents argue to her and telling her to finish school but its so much argument that she tries to focus on school but she cant. Ive noticed that they just care about themselves and she has been threatened before (getting kicked out) even when i try to help her with her school work is like they dont care washin car seems to be more important. She works and her manager knows her dad and know how they are so theyre noticing. Also they went throught the same case with her big brother but as i got to know them i noticed it wasnt them, it was their parents. Her social worker is aware of the situation so theyre having a meeting this thursay to talk to her parents about the future and also about the mistreatment. But today she was told to leave the house. And its almost getting to the point that sooner or later she might be physically abused. And she has ran away once but her parents reported a runaway

What is your advise to her and to me as already an adult?
Would i get in trouble or my parents?
What can she do?

[ccsmod10]

RE: If she runs away/else

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us. We are sorry to hear your girlfriend does not feel safe at home. She always has the option of talking to her social worker about what is going on. We are not legal experts, so we cannot tell you what you should or should not do. Her legal guardians would have the right to report her missing, as well as press charges against you and your family for ‘harboring a runaway’. As long as she is a minor her guardians do still have that right. She also has the right to feel safe and wanted in her own home.

Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we cannot tell you what to do. If you would like to call us to help you explore options, we can explore more regarding your situation. We are non-judgmental, confidential and always available. Feel free to contact us any time.

[Unregistered]

if she runs away/else

Hi im 22 years old dating a 16 about to be 17 years old. Her parents approve that we date and are also friends with my parents somewhat. Shes being verbally and emotinally abused by her parents and today her dad told her to get out of the house so basically she got kicked out. She doesnt know what to do and i told her that shes welcome to stay here at my parents house. But i dont know if itll be considered a runaway

She has a attempt of suicide on her record and also because of her parents ad also a social worker at school. Her parents argue to her and telling her to finish school but its so much argument that she tries to focus on school but she cant. Ive noticed that they just care about themselves and she has been threatened before (getting kicked out) even when i try to help her with her school work is like they dont care washin car seems to be more important. She works and her manager knows her dad and know how they are so theyre noticing. Also they went throught the same case with her big brother but as i got to know them i noticed it wasnt them, it was their parents. Her social worker is aware of the situation so theyre having a meeting this thursay to talk to her parents about the future and also about the mistreatment. But today she was told to leave the house. And its almost getting to the point that sooner or later she might be physically abused. And she has ran away once but her parents reported a runaway

What is your advise to her and to me as already an adult?
Would i get in trouble or my parents?
What can she do?

[ccsmod13]

RE: if she runs away/else

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing with us some of your girlfriend’s story. It sounds like home for her is not a safe and stable environment. We are so sorry to hear that she has recently been kicked out and it may come to the point of physical abuse if there is no action taken.

It sounds like your girlfriend has been going through some tough times. It is really great that you and your dad are there able to be there for her during this hard time. You mentioned that you girlfriend has attempted suicide in the past, we are sorry to hear this and would like to offer resources for the future. It sounds like she has tried to reach out to people in the past and it has not been beneficial. We are sorry that was the experience, and we hope these ones will be better for you. One great resource is the National Suicide Hotline at 1800.566.5688 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1800.273.8255. These are some great resources for you or your girlfriend to turn to when things get tough.

You mentioned that your girlfriend is wanting to run away and you have some great questions that go along with that. We are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms. To start off with, running away is not a criminal offense, it is a status offense. This means that she would not be able to leave without her parents’ consent because she is a minor not because it is illegal. If she was to runaway then her parents would have the option of filing a runaway report. This lets the police know that she has left without their consent. This can be tricky because even though her parents have kicked her out, they could still file a runaway report which means she left without consent. If her parents were to file a runaway report, and she was found at your house then her family may have the option of charging you or your dad with harboring a runaway. That is a criminal offense.

However, 17 is a tricky age because, in general terms, 18 is the age of majority in most states. One option you or her have is to call your local police department and see how they would handle a 17 year old who does not want to be returned home.

Another option your girlfriend has is to call Child Help USA 1800.422.4453 and she can report the neglect that her parents have done do her by kicking her out of her house. Your girlfriends’ parents are legally responsible for her and so by law they have to provide a safe place for her to live until she turns 18. If they fail at doing this then she can always made a neglect report with them. She can also call us on our hotline at 1800.786.2929 and we can make the report for her or we can do a conference call with them to make the report.

You also had mentioned that you are looking for some advice on what you and your girlfriend should do. Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are not here to give advice or to tell you what to do, but we are here to go over options that you and your girlfriend may have. We hoped this helped and we encourage you to encourage your girlfriend to call us on our hotline at 1800.786.2929 so that we can brainstorm other options she may have. You guys can always reach our via our chat on our website every day from 4:30pm-11:30pm. We hoped this helped and we wish you luck.

NRS