It's too much

[Guest]

Never thought I'd be doing this but what the hell. I'm 20, I just recently moved back home for the summer from college. I've been her two weeks and I have to get the hell out of this place. My parents have been split up since i was 15 and i thought that was the best thing ever. My dad is a *verbal and physical* alcoholic abuser who yells about everything. I associated the man with satan and when I was a 7 year old kid for christmas I wished he would die in addition to getting toys.I live with my mom who i thought was my guardian angel, turns out out she's an even bigger **********. All during high school, I was the superstar, I graduated with honors and maintained a 3.5gpa every year. I just finished sophomore year in college where I'm also on honors and my associates degree is coming in the mail next month. Each year since i was 15 I've been soo close to getting all A's and I always miss it. I think my mom regards me as a failure.Nothing I do is ever good enough for her. I missed all A's one year, I was off by 2% points and I got yelled at for three weeks like it wasn't good enough. I even spent one weekend cleaning the whole house and the yard. Instead of a thanks, she pointed out that I had missed a spot. I cannot live with this woman for three months, I just can't do it. We fight just about every 7 seconds and I hate leaving my room because she'll start something else. Even when i did nothing wrong she will yell at me for something my brother has done wrong. If I stay here one of two things will happen, one I'll leave or two, someone is going to die. not sure who yet but we'll see.

[ccsmod2]

Re: It's too much

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. We are sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time. It can be tough to reach out and we’re glad that you did. Everyone deserves a safe environment during their childhood and we’re sorry that you didn’t have that.

It can be hard to try so hard and feel like you aren’t doing well enough, especially from your parents. It sounds like you had a very rough childhood and it takes a very strong person to get through that. You said that you thought your mom was your guardian angel; when did you begin to feel differently about that?

Maintaining grades and graduating with honors is a huge accomplishment. It can be even more difficult to do it through college and you have done it. Congratulations! It can also be difficult to be proud of your own achievements when others become angry at you for ‘not being good enough’. We’re sorry to hear that your mom makes it difficult for you. You said that you spent a whole weekend cleaning your house and yard; it sounds like you do a lot for your mom and we’re sorry to hear that she doesn’t appreciate your work.

You said that you may leave if you stay there much longer. If you did, do you have a place to go for the summer? Do you think that a friend or family member may be able to help you out? What about the university? They may have student housing for the summer that you could use. To find out, you could contact the housing office at your university.

Another option that you may have available would be either summer work or possibly an internship. Again, your university may have these available or they may be able to put you in contact with companies who do.

We hope that things work out for you. If you need any other assistance, please contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are available 24/7 and are completely confidential and anonymous. We look forward to hearing from you and wish you luck with everything!

~NRS