its pointless, huh?

[Guest]

How seriously does Child Services take verbal abuse?
I mean I completely understand the immediate intervention with physical, but what about the verbal? One never hears too much about it.
As far back as I can remember, I have been abused; some physical, but most of the time it was verbal. You are gonna find this completely naive of me, but it wasnt until last year that I realized how much trouble could arise if i was to bring my problem out into the light. Now I am 18, soon to be 19, and a graduate. I get angry at myself when I wonder, "Why didnt I tell someone?" I am not scared, I just didnt want anymore problem than I already had not to mention that I was a junior when the idea of tell someone entered my brain so i figured what was one more year. So I guess it would be plain out pointless to do something now, huh?
The reason I ask is becuse I am still getting.....my home life make the mafia look like a Disney fantasy (it is pretty rough) I am still at home till college starts in late August.
I just wanna know what I should do.

[ccsmod2]

Re: its pointless, huh?

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. We are glad that you have reached out to someone during this difficult time and we hope to help you out. We can’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t do but we can help you discuss your options and help you find resources that may be available to you. Congratulations on your graduation and acceptance to college! Those are difficult tasks to accomplish, especially when you have other things going on too.

Unfortunately, verbal abuse is a little harder to prove. With physical abuse, there are, unfortunately, bruises that can be seen. With verbal abuse, the bruises and the scars are invisible except to those who are being abused. It is our general understanding that Child Protective Services will still have an investigation down into the allegation. If you would like a definite answer, you could contact your local branch and ask them what their policy is about verbal abuse. If you need there number, you can contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

We don’t think you are naive for waiting so long to bring your trouble to the light, as you put it. When you are being abused, in any way, it can be a scary experience that is hard to talk about, especially when it is someone that you are trusting to take care of you. Everyone deserves to live in a safe environment and we’re sorry to hear that you didn’t have that opportunity. Who was being verbally abusive toward you?

Unfortunately, at 19, you are no longer considered a minor and it may become harder to file an abuse report with Child Protective Services. Typically, they only take reports for youth under the age of 18. They may be able to refer you to an agency that can assist you. Or, if you ever feel unsafe at home, no matter how old you are, you can always contact your local police department for assistance.

Also, since you are over the age of 18, you no longer have to stay at home. It can seem like time is creeping by when you are waiting for something to begin, like college. Is there anywhere that you can stay during the summer? Even if they aren’t long term stays, getting away for a short time period may help you to feel better. Do you have any plans for yourself this summer (work, travel)? Is there anything that you may be able to become involved in?

Have you had a chance to speak with the school you will be attending in the fall? Sometimes, they may have opportunities for students to arrive early on campus (working, summer classes, etc…). Do you think this may be an option that you would like to explore?

Remember, there is always someone available to talk to here. We are a 24/7 confidential and anonymous hotline. You can reach us at anytime if you would just like to talk or if you need some resources. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Good luck with everything and we look forward to hearing from you!

~NRS

[Guest]

Re: its pointless, huh?

I had a feeling you were going to say something along those lines, but oh well. I was just mainly curious about how they went about verbal abuse. My mother has been the one who has abused me over the years. SometimesI would have rather her hit me than to say the things she did because those scars last longer and are much deeper.
I am trying to get a job at the moment to get me out of the house, but with this crazy economy I dont know if I will get one. Unfortunately, I do not have a place to go to during the summer. I have 'friends', but I like to call them "brief acquaintances"; mostly they are just people I went to school with and had the same class. I dont know anyone outside of school because I have put everything involving school first and my social life became last every time.
This Thursday, I am going to schedule my classes for the fall and I will definately ask if they have something open for early students. That would be great, actually. I am so ready to get out of this family death trap and to start feeling like I am a human and not just some machine.

[ccsmod1]

Re: its pointless, huh?

Thanks for sharing a little more with us. It sounds like you’ve had to deal with a lot for several years now. Don’t be too hard on yourself for not telling someone sooner. You’ve probably been so focused on just getting through it all. Often there are all kinds of other emotions that play a part in why a child or teenager doesn’t tell anyone they’re being abused or mistreated.

There’s an organization called Childhelp that works to advocate for and raise awareness of abused, neglected and at-risk children. They have a 24 hour confidential and anonymous hotline, where (if you wanted to) you could talk to a crisis counselor about everything you’ve been through. Their number is 1-800-426-5678. They also have a lot of helpful information on their website: www.childhelp.org. One section of their website, “Learning Center: Help for Kids”, has a list titled “You Should Know” that we wanted to share with you:
• No one has the right to abuse you.
• You don't deserve to be abused.
• If you are being abused, you are a victim.
• It's not your fault that you are being treated this way.
• It is wrong that you are suffering this pain, fear or sadness.
• You are not alone. Other kids suffer abuse, too.
• Sometimes abusers scare or threaten kids so they won't tell.
• There are people who care about you and want to help you.

Even though you’re not legally an adult, you still (and always will) deserve to feel safe, be happy and live life to the fullest. Hopefully it helps to know that there’s light at the end of the tunnel and you’ll soon be moving on. We hope you’re able to continue striving for change and start fresh when you get to college. You mentioned that the "scars last longer and are much deeper." One service that most colleges have is free counseling centers. If you decide that it would be beneficial to talk to someone about all your experiences and have professional support to work through it, there is likely an opportunity to do so at the college you will be attending. Let us know if there’s anything else we can do to assist you right now, otherwise you’re always welcome to call us if you need to talk about anything or everything. Someone is here day and night. Just remember, there are people that care about what’s happened to you and want to help you. Keep your head up!

[Guest]

Re: its pointless, huh?

Thank you so much for that you have done for me. You have been able to point mr in the right direction. I have the NRS hotline number written down, so I might just call ..one day. I really do appreciate all that you have been able to help me with.
I will try my hardest to keep my head up....promise.

[ccsmod1]

Re: its pointless, huh?

We'll be here if and when you decide to call. Best of luck.