I’m sick of dealing with everything at home

[Guest]

I’m 15 and sick of dealing with everything at home.

My mom gossips, and complains, and constantly talks about how much she hates my dad. We used to fight all the time, she’d scream and curse at me. She’s been kind of disturbingly sexual towards me since I was young, maybe 11 or 12– I remember several years ago at a family dinner when she tried to explain to (preteen!) me how to give a blow job. Since then she’s done similar things, and once while she was drunk at a neighbor concert, she tried to touch my chest and thighs.

Most days things now seem okay between us, but I’m always tense, and she’ll still insult me and call me names. She’s tried to homeschool me and by brother for at least 6 or 7 years now— with time, extracurricular activities stopped, and now it’s rare for either of us to leave the house. I’ve gotten out more lately because of dentist appointments, but in the past 4 months, my brother has only left the house once.

I’m just so tired of waking up every morning to put on dirty second hand clothes and sitting across from her for hours every day. The only time I reached out to her for honest help with something (super ****ed up mental health at the time) she bought me coffee and recommended that I didn’t tell my doctor.

Every day feels hopeless, I just want to get out of here, but acknowledging that makes me feel even more guilty. I don’t know what to do

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for contacting us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. It is understandable you would want to get away from such an overwhelming and stressful environment. It is not okay for your mother to make you feel uncomfortable or for her to talk down to you. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel cared for at home. It sounds like your mom has been isolating you and your brother from other activities and people which must start to feel quite lonely. It is okay to acknowledge when your needs are not being met at home because your well-being is important! It shows a lot of resilience and strength that you are able to identify what is causing you harm to your mental health and to reach out for support.

Having a support system is very important while navigating challenging situations. We want to encourage you to reach out to anyone you feel comfortable talking with about some of this including family members, friends, a counselor, doctor, or religious leader. Sometimes just having a safe space to talk through things can help you brainstorm ideas you hadn't thought of previously and remind you that you are not alone in this. You deserve to be helped. You mentioned that you have had some struggles in the past with your mental health. If you are not quite ready to speak to anyone in person yet, you can speak with a counselor anytime by going to www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or by texting "connect" to 741741.

If you feel like your mother's actions have been abusive or neglectful, you do have the option to make a report to child protective services. This can be a scary decision to make sometimes. You can speak with an advocate at the National Child Abuse Hotline to learn more about the reporting process and if it is a route you would like to pursue, childhelp.org.

We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

Stay safe,
NRS