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i want to move in with my dad but my mum diagrees

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  • i want to move in with my dad but my mum diagrees

    hi, im having trouble with my family at the moment. I want to move in with my father, my step dad doesnt know about it but my mum does and she is saying no. I was dragged away from my father at 3yrs old and its been my dream to live with him ever since. My mum and i are living in a different state to where my father lives and i have considered running away to my father multiple times but im too scared to do it. all of my family is down there and im the only one up here so i get lonely not being able to see my family. im scared about following through with running away because i dont know if i will get caught by my mum or i will want to return home halfway through the trip. My step dad also does drugs and ive finally spoken about around two months ago. My questions are:
    1. what can i do to make my mum agree with me moving?
    2. Should i report my parents to child services if the environment that im living in is bad?
    3. What consequences will i face if i end up reaching out to child services and my mum finds out?

  • #2
    Hi there,

    Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS. We appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation. It sounds like living with your mom and step dad has become unsafe and you would feel more comfortable living with your dad. It must be very frustrating and stressful that you are being isolated from your dad and other family members. You deserve to feel safe and cared for at home and it's understandable you would want to leave an overwhelming household.

    The easiest way to leave home as a minor is with your parents’ permission. In this case, your mom would be allowing you to live somewhere else where you are safe and being cared for. A helpful step is to start reaching out to your dad or another family member you can stay with. Sometimes having an adult on your side to advocate for you can make communicating about your needs easier. Perhaps an adult family member or a counselor at school can talk to your mom with you about your experience at home and the possibility of you leaving.

    If you do decide to leave home without permission, your mom can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means police would pick you up and bring you back to your mom.

    Your step dad abusing drugs while around you is something that you can report to child protective services, especially if you are feeling unsafe. Making a report does not guarantee that you would be removed from your mom's custody, but it could start a process where this might be the outcome. If you pursue this option, your mom would not necessarily know that you were the one who made the report. However, someone from child protective services would want to talk with you and your mom about issues at home and possible interventions to make things safer for you. If you would like to learn more about the reporting process and what it might be like for you, you can speak with an advocate at www.childhelp.org.

    We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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