i dont know what to do, but i cant take this anymore.

[Guest]

I’m emotionally/psychologically abused by my parents. I’m going to leave a list of their actions here for you to better understand the situation.

• parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
• parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
• parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
• parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
• parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
• parent shamed me for my physical appearance
• parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
• parent threatened to hit me if I wouldn’t do as they say
• parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
• parent regarded me as a burden, shaming me for needing them at all
• parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
• parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
• parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
• parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
• parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
• parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
• parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
• parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
• parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
• parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
• parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
• parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
• parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I won’t achieve anything
• parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
• parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
• parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
• parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
• parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
• parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
• parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
• parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
• parent gas lighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did
• parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behavior and actions
• parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma
• parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
• parent didn’t notice I was depressed
• parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
• parent didn’t notice I was suicidal

its very psychologically damaging and I literally can’t take it anymore. I don’t know what to do. I’m an only child so there are no witnesses except for them. I already told the social worker at my school about it, but she is best friends with my parents and said that’s "just how they are". It’s really confusing as they act like this half of the time, but they act "normal" the other half of the time. During their bad moods, they justify their actions constantly with "you could have it worse", and it really makes me believe things they say about me because of the times that they act normal. As in, "they can’t be abusive, they were being nice earlier!"

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.
We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You showed some by reaching out to NRS. Good for you. It seems that what you have been experiencing feels very unfair to you.
You do not deserve to be treated unfairly by your parents. It’s not your fault that these things are happening. Your feelings are important and they matter.
You are deserving as anyone that wants to be happy.

You were really detailed about what has been going on at home and your feelings about it. Good job.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).


To Write Love on Her Arms is a nonprofit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and invest directly into treatment and recovery. www.twloha.com


If you are feeling depressed or suicidal we encourage to reach out for help by contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255


Stay strong and take care,
NRS