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20 years old my parents won't let me move away

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  • 20 years old my parents won't let me move away

    I'm 20 years old going on 21. I currently live with my parents but not by choice. I've tried moving out and tried being independent, but each time they threaten to freeze my bank account and threaten to only let me leave if they supervise me. I'm planning on moving to Texas to live with my boyfriend's family until I can finally get on my own feet. His dad has even offered to give me the old family car so I can transport myself. How do I tell my family I'm moving without things getting out of hand?

  • #2
    Hey there,
    That seems like a tough situation to be in and could be really oppressive to feel stuck like that. As you are an adult they shouldn’t be trying to continue to dictate your life and control you like that. You have every right to your own bank account and your personhood to do what you wish.
    We don’t know your family so we can’t really say exactly how to try and extricate yourself, however some general preparation and ideas we can try and help with. In any situation that may be delicate planning things out should help. You could make sure there is as little that your family can try to control you with available to them. It may be worth reaching out to your bank and opening a new account or having them remove your parents off of it and making sure that you have complete control over your money. Another thing to prepare would be your various forms of ID, like driver’s license, Birth Certificate, and social security number are the trifecta to make sure you have at least pictures of before you need to leave.
    Another thing to consider might be how you want to break the news to your parents. You know them better than us, but planning your words in advance and playing out the different ways the conversation might go could help you have arguments ready to refute your parents and prevent a shouting match from happening. We also offer mediation Conference Calls, and messaging services if you wanted to leave a message for your parents and then a note to call us to receive it.
    Hopefully these options help you to think through what you can do and feel safe doing it. If you wanted to try role playing the conversation, or have more questions or plans you wanted to go through please call our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY or use our online chat.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)


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