Problems with my father

[Guest]

My father has been really in a bad sort of mood every since he got married again to some stupid woman. (Serious, she's pretty dumb). We've been having fights because he has pressure from her, and from a big project he's been doing. I'm not the running away type, I don't have the heart to do that kind of stuff. I still love my dad {...-edited}. The only reason why I probably haven't {become (phsyical)-edited} or something is because I feel like I'm still attached to him as family and don't want to hurt him. He always finds some way to make me not care about what he did, then he does it either the same day, or the next day. It's BIG FIGHTS like threats from him. He says that he can threaten me until I'm 18. Honestly, I really doubt that he can and it's starting to piss me off.

He's pushed me into the ground before when I went out with my friends and came back home when he was fighting with his "wife." Then he got all pissed at me for whatever reason. I forget. He has said A LOT of things that I think could really screw up his life. Like on a trip that I went on, a friend got hit by a motorcycle and fractured a bone. My father and I had a fight again and since he knew about it, no idea how it got there, but he started staying that she deserved getting hit because she wasn't looking. Now I know that it might make sense to some degree, but I think it's just cruel. He's said tons of other horrible things that are too numerous to list.

Another thing worth mentioning is that he fights with his "wife" EVERY SINGLE DAY AT LEAST TWICE. Usually THREE TIMES. I think that really makes him build up anger and he just takes it out on me, and since I can't find any time to talk to him when he's NOT pissed, it's impossible for me to actually have some father-son times. I'm not saying those dumb movie or book scenes where the father and son have insanely wierd love for each other, but a normal relationship where he's not mad or anything. A while ago I wanted to actually get him out of my life, so I started to video tape every fight with a camera hidden behind some books. Then I started to feel bad because all the work he's done for the project he's working on would go to waste since he'd probably go to jail or at least have a very bad reputation.

My dad has been kind (sorta) to me before the remarriage, it's just now that he's been such an {...edited}.

Last thing, my mother is alive and well. She's the best mom a person could ask for and I love her. Before you say to just stay with my mom for a while or forever, I have classes that my grandmother payed for and I have to stay at my father's house so they can send me there. (My mom is too far and well, she lives alone and I don't want to make her drive me 5 miles everyday when my dad have a housekeeper who has to do it anyway for my cousin).

I feel as if I've told too much of my problem here, but I really want my question answered in one post so I've provided plenty of information. It's fine if I have to answer a question from you, but I'd like a good answer ASAP.

I don't know what to do anymore. Should I just skip my summer classes and go live with my mom for the next month? Or should I just try to live it out with my dad? Or maybe report him? I've been wanting to for quite a while now. (Almost 2 years total).

[ccsmod3]

Re: Problems with my father

Thanks for contacting us here at NRS. Wow, that was a lot of information you told us, but it’s a good thing! It deserves recognition when a youth realizes that they have some family problems and that it is best to seek help during these trying times.

We are sorry about the hard times that you are experiencing with your dad. You seem to think that it has a lot to do with the relationship that he has with your stepmother. Even if so, it is not fair for your father to treat you or talk to you the way you say he does. From your post, we can tell that you try to use your love for your father as a coping mechanism and that too is a good thing!

You say that you can not talk to him because he is always in a bad mood, is it possible to write him a letter? You can still have the chance to bring up and discuss things that may be on your mind. This may in turn allow him to understand that there is an issue between you two. Or, at least finding enough time to bring up the situation and then you two can both compromise a better time to sit down and talk.

What do you think about trying to initiate counseling services for you and your dad? You also mention abuse reporting as an option as well.

After reading your post, it seems as if the main thing that is bothering you right now is whether or not you should continue to go through things at your dads or should you sacrifice taking your summer classes to stay with mom and get away from the drama?

There is also an option of telling another family member to help advocate for you. Does your mom know about the way you are being treated? You also said that your mom lives very far and would not be able to transport you but you mentioned her staying 5 miles away. If so, that isn’t far at all and if she knew what was going on, maybe she would be more willing to take you back and forth.

[ccsmod3]

Re: Problems with my father

You are more than welcomed to post a reply or if it will be better, you can contact us via telephone at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are a 24 hour crisis line and we are confidential! Good luck in whatever decision you choose!