Announcement

**ccsmod15** · 12-08-2016, 11:03 AM

Re: Should I call CPS on my mother?

Thanks for reaching out the National Runaway Safeline Forum. Your family situation you have described sounds very challenging. You appear to have a strong handle on what drives your parent’s challenges and how it is negatively impacting both you and your brother and sister. You mentioned that there is no physical abuse happening in your home presently but there is a large amount of verbal abuse between your parents and neglect to the point where you do not safe in your home. Your main issue – Should I call CPS on my mother – is a very good question to ask at this point. Let’s try and brainstorm some Pro’s and Con’s here to help you consider your next steps:

Pro’s:
• By filing a report with CPS – you will put your parents on guard that may force some changes in behaviors.
• You will get outside eyes involved with your family situation that may offer help such as addiction counseling and parenting support in helping make better household financial decisions
• By you taking action, it may help you feel more empowered because you are doing your best to make positive changes in the situation

Con’s:
• Typically CPS is motivated to try to keep families together. There is no way to know if what they suggest will be in line with what you want to have happen to support custody for your father.
• It may cause your parents to treat you with distrust and may have negative implications on how you and your brother and sister are treated.
• By you taking this step, it puts spot light on you to tell your family’s story. If there is no physical evidence or other adult family members that will back up what you are saying, it may be challenging to be heard and understood by a CPS caseworker.

We know that this is a very difficult step for you, There are some resources we can suggest to help you through this decision process.
* Child Help USA – 800-422-4453 – This agency focuses on youth who are dealing with family abuse issue and can help suggest local resources.
* Families Anonymous -800-736-9805 - This agency focuses on families impacted by substance abuse issues.
* SAMHSA –Substance Abuse & Mental Health Resources Administration – 877-726-4727 – This service links up callers with family counseling resources

We hope we can support you further if you wish to discuss these options further or perhaps find legal aid resources in your area. The best way to get this information quickly is to contact us directly. You can confidentially call us 24 a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). Another option is contact us through our chat line from 4PM-11PM accessed through our website www.1800runaway.org.

Thank you for sharing your situation on the National Runaway Safeline Forum. Hopefully other youth will benefit from you sharing your story. We hope the information above will help you find the steps to feel safer in home. Best of luck!

**Guest** · 02-20-2019, 11:00 AM

[I][B]sup, i'm 16 and my situation isn't as bad as it was. in the past my mom let her husband (whom she didn't know very well and let move in) sexually abuse my sister and i for about a year before my sister told her school. since then my mom is still married to him but he is incarcerated. my mom lost two of her jobs and none of our dads pay child support except mine and it's $250 every two weeks, so she uses my money and i have no idea where it goes ??? when i need things or my sister needs things it's always like pulling teeth but she had no problem going to get her nails done! she brings over guys she barely knows (while we are all awake) after we tell her it makes us feel unsafe,and if she's not bringing them here, she stays out! sometimes doesn't come home for a weekend and there will be no food! she constantly ignores our mental health ,pushed me and my sister into taking anti-depressants, and my sister told me that she showed her pictures of grown men's private parts. i'm done. i'm tired of feeling unsafe in my own house and i'm tired of this affecting my sister, what can i do ?

**Guest** · 04-05-2019, 06:21 AM

Hi I’m 14 and I feel I have an abusive dad. He says this is discipline though. I told dad to calm down because he always gets mad for little stuff like me and My sisters are bad children, but, we always listen to Dad and Mom. He never changes he always gets mad and he always screams. I know now that is what made me call him mean...I wasn’t being annoying but I was expressing myself in a plain and specific way saying he was mean. Dad thinks I said the f word, and both of my siblings and my friend know I don’t curse.I didn’t say the f word. And he beat me so much for that , it was like child abuse. Not even discipline. I was screaming “please Dad, please Dad” for mercy while he almost whipped every part of my body, and all because of 2 words. And he wonders why I asked him to calm down. I know me screaming is what saved me or I would’ve started bleeding. I would have to go to school and lie or drown in my thoughts about my abusive father. And my siblings had to just watch. It’s just sad, as his daughter I feel like he doesn’t love me. This type of stuff makes you depressed. I don’t wanna be depressed in Jesus name. This doesn’t happen everyday to other kids, and he’s always threatening to beat me and I’m just scared of him tbh(to be honest) should I call cps even though he’s only mean like this when he’s mad? I have everything else a good home food and water, and I go to an okay school plus I have a bed to sleep in. It’s just when he gets mad it doesn’t matter if we obeyed and we’re good for 5 months he would still whoop you and it’s like why do you have to beat your children there’s other discipline.

**Guest** · 04-29-2019, 08:00 PM

Hello i'm 12 should i call cps on my mother? my mother ignores my emotional health since birth, I have depression and anxiety for 2 years and I want to go to therapy but my mom says that i'm faking my "illness". my brother is in therapy and not the both of us. My mom has one-on-one talks with my sibling and not me i'm very excluded in my family's fun time, Whenever i want time to cool down before I have a breakdown, my mom get's mad at me because I think stupidly. Whenever i want to spend time with my mom she pushes me away or buys me stuff to distract me.
I'm slowly getting scared everywhere i go and whenever i tell my mother "I don't want to go" or " I don't want to do that" she yells at me or it's me.
Should I call cps on my mother?

**Guest** · 04-29-2019, 09:53 PM

Hello i’m 12 should i call cps on my mother?

I want to leave my mother’s house she emotionally neglects me since i was small i have depression and anxiety and my mother is doing nothing but saying “suck it up” or getting angry at me because i’m sensitive.

Yesterday i was having a breakdown in a building’s bathroom. I took a long time and when my mother went to the bathroom to get me, i was a balling mess, instead of my mom talking to me are calming me down she made me go out of the bathroom and got angry at me for “thinking so stupidly”.

My mother spends money on me so i could shut up, i had depression for i think 3-ish years and all my mom could tell me is suck it up, When i told my mom if i can go to talk to someone about my problems she said no. When i wanted to talk to her she ignored me.

When i want to have time with my mom she sends me something to do, When i say something like “i don’t want to do that” or “i don’t want to go” she gets mad at me.

She has these one-on-ones with my sibling but never with me, She reads stories to my brother, but never to me, She says “good night” to everyone but one. I want someone to be there for me and my mom is not there. Should i call cps?

**Guest** · 05-26-2019, 06:59 PM

Hello, I'm 16. I honestly have no idea if I should call CPS or not at this point. My mother constantly complains about how "I behave" and calls me abusive and manipulative even though I have no idea what I'm doing in the first place. More than half of the time I can't even think straight because she's yelling at the top of her lungs about something. She looses control of her temper at times and throws things or hits me. She did this when I was younger as well. She doesn't think what she's doing is bad, nor does she think that she needs to stop. The condition of our house isn't the best. It's messy, with the fact that the house is literally falling apart. Most of the time I'm blamed for our house being in the condition that it is as she says that I don't do anything around the house. My mother completely ignores my mental health even though my doctor has referred me to multiple therapist and psychiatrist. And no one in my family believes that she acts the way she does because she constantly lies about it. At this point I have no idea whether I'm a part of the issue of why she acts the way she does. I argue back with her, and loose my temper as well. But never to the extreme of physical violence. She usually over exaggerates what I do, saying that I tell her that she's dumb, stupid, and that she doesn't know anything on a daily basis. But yeah, I have no idea what to do at this point.

**Guest** · 06-26-2019, 03:20 PM

My mom does drugs and calls me a bum and hates the way I dress. She also blames everything on me without her taking fault. I feel so depressed and upset she makes me very mad with her poor life decisions. I have gotten bad behavior over the years but I feel like its because of the way my mom treats me I'm just so angry at her for not caring. I have attempted to cut myself but never could because I know it's wrong. I know she loves me and cares but she also makes me very mad. Doing drugs even after I caught her 3 times. I cant decide if I should call 911 or cps or not call at all I dont wanna live with her because she makes my life so hard and I just dont wanna be here. She is probably not gonna believe me and think I'm making it up cause I have told her before but I just wanna better life. I cant go to my grandma cause she makes it 2x more hard but bringing up all the bad things I've done in the past. My grandma is the best loving person but I think I won't make it out alive of this hell with her and I don't know what to do. My mom cares and loves me I can tell that she also works very hard but I dont wanna he with a emotional abuser/drug addict I want to know what it's like to not fake a smile I want to be happy but I know if I don't get a case from cps it's going to make things worse. What should I do?

**Guest** · 06-26-2019, 11:25 PM

Look I feel like I've been driven into a corner. My parents are super tough. They come from this culture in which the parents (especially the father) are infallible and deserve the ultimate respect. Almost every day I get yelled at for the smallest things. Ex: yesterday what happened is that i was downstairs and was time for dinner. My mom screamed "its time for supper" but i had headphones so i didn't hear her. Eventually i heard her and came running up the stairs out of fear that she would get mad because she had to yell to many times but it was too late. She kept telling me how much her throat hurt from yelling so much and saying that all my fault. I told her "Im sorry. I didnt hear you." And she instantly screamed "DONT TALK BACK TO ME!!!" Another event that happened was today. So my report card came in today. They told me beforehand that no matter what grade i get there going to be happy and proud of me because they saw how much i studied for my final exams (which is true i studied my ass off) So yea let's just say my grades weren't great(I passed in all my subjects mind you except for one). They were so disappointed and mad at me. Naturally i felt lied to. I said "So you lied to me about being happy for me" In which my mom proceeded to slap me and say scream that she doesn't lie. Things like these happen on a regular basis. This my situation. I don't know if this abuse. I cry almost every day because of them. I dont know what to do any more. I need help.

**Guest** · 07-01-2019, 04:32 PM

I 15 and should I call cps on my mom? My mom is a single mom and she is taking care of me, a physical disable girl and my brother who is near his 40's and is mentally disabled. I know she is very stress with the both of us, but she will always threatened my brother when he eats something that he not supposed to with "Do you want me to throw this in your face" and other physical threats like that and is always saying he is eating himself to death (he is) when she is not trying very hard to stop it and she even made a remark on if my brother die "we cry for a bit, then buried him and then that's it" like she doesn't care at all. When my mom is mad at me she will go on to rants how my father was right to leave me, that when I go to college I better not come back, and recently she told me "even if you dying, I won't answer your call" when i feel like i was in danger and that it "doesn't matter." I know she just very stressed and maybe I just making a huge fuss over nothing but that really scares me.

**Guest** · 07-24-2019, 05:36 PM

I'm twelve years old, and I'm wondering what i should do, I'm not brave at all, But here it goes..My mother is denial and delusional this is just an idea what she she's like. My mother lies for the stupidist reasons and to my dad, my dad is selfish though. But I'm not sure what to do in this situation, because i don't live or i mean not close to my family, and i don't have much family.

**Guest** · 07-25-2019, 01:58 PM

I've been very unsure for some time on whether or not I should get outside help with my family situation. I'm 14, and have one older sister who's unable to walk and has severe allergies, an another older sister with emotional issues, and two parents that are fairly old to have a child my age.
Ever since I can remember, my sister with emotional issues was emotionally and physically abusive to me. She'd belittle me daily, kick me down stairs, hit me, and push me. (When this was happening, I wasn't even four, and she was in her early twenties.) . At the time, I didn't tell my parents because of my age and not knowing that this abuse wasn't normal, and fearing that if I did tell my sister would lie and say it didn't happen. She would often be told to babysit me, and when we were home alone, her boyfriend would come over. I specifically remember her changing my diaper one day and him looking at me inappropriately without her knowing. She looked up following my gaze, and told him to get out. Even after this event took place, she still invited her boyfriend over. Although I was young, I knew what he did was wrong, and I was most definitely afraid of him. After the age of four, she moved out and later broke up with her boyfriend. Once again, I know I was very young, but memories like these stick with you.
My other sister with physical and allergy issues was also in her early twenties at the time. She has had a lot of surgeries and health issues in the past, and most of my earliest memories were in the hospital, waiting on her to be released. Seeing my sister, who I viewed to be a role model at the time, constantly in life threatening condition, was very traumatic and impossible to forget.
My parents were very hard on me when I was little. If I refused to eat something, I would be spanked by my mother or father many times in a row with wooden spatulas, paddles, you name it. I'm aware this fairly common for punishment, but it was pretty extreme considering they started this very young. I would be put in "time out" for two to five hours on end multiple times a day when I was little. I didn't have any friends, and I didn't even know how to socialize with anyone my age. This strongly affected my school years, and I didn't have even one friend until I reached fourth grade. I had never learned to be social and interact, and this caused bullying. After I began school, the physical violence coming from my parents got more extreme, less and less what one would consider normal. I would be drug by my hair up the stairs, slapped and/or punched in the face, etc. This decreased around the age of 11 or 12, and even though it's been a few years, I'm still afraid of them. My parents would threaten to take me to a mental hospital and practically brainwashed me into thinking I was the worst child out there. I was constantly made to feel not good enough, compared to my sisters, and made to feel like I was a mistake. Saying all of this would come to a shock of anyone who has known my parents. They go to church, they seem all nice to everyone else, etc. My parents buy me nice things, they feed me, give me clothes, shelter, medical care, etc. All of these things are very generous of them and I'm very thankful for the stuff they do for me. Because of these things, it's hard to talk to someone about what goes on. They just think that I'm not appreciative and that I'm bratty. I know I've done things, as everyone has, but nothing I have done deserves the emotional and physical abuse I've received from my parents, and I know that this is true.
Because of these events, I have struggled and still struggle with severe disassociation (a common ptsd symptom), anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and depression. I've never felt there's a way out, and this has caused me to feel the only option was ending my life, and I have tried in the past. The emotional abuse has recently started getting worse again, and I'm feeling as though calling someone is my last resort. I question my decisions in telling people, I question whether I deserve it, and I'm just completely unsure of what to do.

**Guest** · 07-27-2019, 10:12 PM

So I’m not sure what to do here guess I have to start from the begging win I was around 2 my dad left me and my mom for another women which I don’t blame him because my mom has extreme bipolar disorder an she didn’t have help back then so she would lash out and yell I don’t Remember it all that well since I was 2 but soon after my mother left me to for drugs and my grandmother took me my mom came back into my life after about 2 years but would never let my dad see me she finally let him see me when I was around 5 but barley an she would always be dating a new guy every week an I’d be passed around with her from one boyfriend to another she met my step dad when I was about 8 and they got married so long story a little shorter I have a step mom and step dad I’m now 14 an see my mom a week then my dad a week but I have a little brother who is 6 and a sister who is 3 at my mothers an I’ve been raising both of them since I was about 11 my moms has been into marijuana well I’m not sure how long but I’ve know since I was 10 and she still does it she lies to everyone about it tho and my step dad has always made me uncomfortable giving me more attention as I got older and grew up and he is a major alcoholic and my mother again is bipolar and goes crazy in everyone my little brother has a bit of a behavior problem and my mother and step dad always seem to be a little to physical with him once my mother has even dragged him up the stairs by his throat because he wouldn’t take a picture my mother has recently gotten fired from he teaching job for doing inappropriate things and this has cause her to lash out more and more daily she’s either screaming and cussing out at me and my brother and sister (sometimes it even gets physical) or in her room smoking while I watch the kids she’s currently waiting to go to court due to her issues with her teaching job and everything just keeps getting worse I’m not sure what to do anymore because I can’t be around all the time to protect my brother and sister from her and she won’t let me grandmother come in and see them either I don’t feel like there safe there and I don’t know what I should do please give me some advice

**Guest** · 12-05-2019, 12:43 AM

Hi I'm 15 and I don't know whether to call CPS on my mother.

I apologize if this a bit scrambled its late and I'm definitely panicking about this subject I came out to my mom as gay in July earlier this year and her behavior quickly became aggressive. She is a born again Christian and WILL NOT tolerate having a gay child under her roof. While I have tried convincing her to allow me to simply stay with other family she is convinced she can 'fix me.' she sends me to Christian therapy as well as forces me to go to every church event I could possibly go to, she constantly harasses me about the subject, whether it's invasive questioning, insulting me or straight up screaming and threatening to hurt me. She has had church members watch me around town when I'm out with any girl, if I'm seem having any physical contact with another girl (I'm talking like even the slightest such as sitting 'too close together') I am screamed at, I have all devices taken away, including my school issued laptop which I need to do homework and I am put under house arrest. In addition to my sexuality she is very focused on my appearance, more specifically my weight. I'm not overweight but I'm definitely not a twig, but my mom believes I need to lose a large amount of weight, even encouraging me to start an eating disorder. She loves to publicly humiliate me if I stand even a bit out of line, she has screamed at me in a car full of my friends, loudly ridiculed me for my weight in the middle of a mall and even grabbed me by the hair in a store. She refuses to take me to a doctor even for yearly checkups claiming that it's too expensive even though I very clearly have areas of concern. She believes mental health is a giant performance to get the attention of others. She makes fun of my anxiety attacks and yells at me for saying I'm depressed. I even came to her saying I have considered suicide but she simply told me I was an attention w*ore my mother doesn't have a mobile phone, she refuses to get anything more than a home phone. She has left me stranded places such as empty parking lots and closing coffee shops until and I have had no way of contacting her, but if I am to call someone else to pick me up she threatens to press kidnapping charges. I'm starting to really question calling CPS on my mother but I fear if my case falls through that the aggressive behavior will only get worse.

**Guest** · 01-27-2020, 02:36 PM

Hey I'm trying to decide whether I should call cps on my mom, I'm 14, it all started when my little brother was born, I guess the stress pushed her over the edge or something, at the time me, my dad, my step dad, and my mom all lived in the same house, because my mom and my dad were still friends, and neither had enough money so they were all sharing rent, so my little brother is born and at first its ok, I was 8 at the time, a couple months after my brother was born the yelling started, my mom would throw things, yell at people for no reason and go on screaming for others, and then she'd, be fine, I now know she has DID and is bipolar, the yelling would happen on the daily, it would make me late for school or just miss school all together because they wouldn't let me walk, I remember once I came out onto the side yard to see my year old baby brother sitting there by himself no one in sight bawling, I was 8 still, this side yard was scary to me cause there was broken glass everywhere and a family of raccoons lived there, my mom got 51-50(taken to a mental hospital) forth first time that year, the fights got worse throughout second and third grade, going from a few times a day to practically all day, even at night, my mom refused to go on anti-depressants and wouldn’t let anyone else go one them, then in 4th grade she pulled me, out of school to be homeschooled for me this was terrifying, school was the place I would go to get away from the fights, though I didn't realize it, I can’t remember anything from 4th grade, I blocked it out, I was homeschooled for half of 5th grade before we finally moved, I went back to school as no one could watch me, my dad and mom lived in different houses now so I went to school at my dad's which was sweet relief from the fights, except I still had to go to my mom's house every weekend, I would cry and beg my dad not to make me go, but without fail every time she would force me to go, I was also scared for my little brother, knowing the fights still continued, that summer my dad moved so I changed school districts, still not wanting to see my mom much as she hadn’t changed, come 6th grade everything got worse, my mom was and about me going to school up at my dad's house, she yelled at us over the phone, yelled at my stepdad, I was terrified to go to my mom's house, several times my dad literally carried me down to the car, when I was younger she only ever slapped me twice, neither for, good reasons but I don't consider either times big incidents, in 6th grade she and my stepdad were fighting, it was worse the usual, they had been known to hit each other and throw things, but this caught me off guard, I walked in to find my mom strangling my stepdad, his face was purple and I will never forget the image, he told me to call the cops and I ran into the bathroom, and called the cops, my mom got sent to a mental hospital and cos did nothing, they were called but decided it wasn’t important, at this point my stepdad wanted to divorce my mom for obvious reasons, and this is when it got even worse, now instead of yelling at my stepdad she would yell at me and my little brother, who was 3 at the time, I remember once in a park she went off on me because I said I wanted to read in the car instead of play soccer, she pulled me out of the car and proceeded to start to spank me, knowing her I thought she was going to try and pull down my pants to spank me, so I moved not wanting to have my pants pulled down in a park, she proceeded to hit me over and over and over on the back of my back, head, there were hand marks and bruise for a long time after, even then my dad still forced me to go down to my mom's house, around this time a new rule was instated, that I have to call my mother, every night at 7, a little after thus my mother tried to commit suicide, me and my brother had to stop her, I called 911 for an ambulance, she got 51-50 again, cps was called and didn’t do anything, again, things stayed about the same throughout 6th grade, ending the year with my mon and step dad not getting a divorce, getting back together, and my mom starting anti-depressants, 7th grade, things are the same, fights happen whenever I’m there, me and my little brother grew apart more, school is terrible, oh yeah I was also being bullied in 6th grade, then come the summer after 7th grade I was told I had a choice on where to go for 8th grade my last year of middle school, obviously I wanted to go to school at my dad's house but my mom kept telling me how much it hurt her that I was going to school up at my dad's house, since I was 8 I've been responsible for how my mother feels, I have to make her feel better, resolve the fights, comfort her, all while she calls me a brat, unable, to feel empathy, broken, **********, asshole, and stuff I don’t remember and don’t want to, so she guilt tripped me into going to school at her house, I love her, but I’m fed up, a couple of fights a week, then we visited family, and then my mom said she was moving out of state soon so U transferred back to the school at my dad's house and it was great, then out of the blue I was forced to switch back to the school near my mom's house when she changed her mind as she does once a week, I begged them not to make me switch but they did, since then she has kicked me out 4 times, 2 times for showing emotion, once for I don't even remember what, and the most recent time because I walked into the kitchen when she was yelling at my stepdad and stood there and watched so they wouldn’t start hitting each other, he was trying to calm down but she wouldn't leave him alone, she noticed me and she told me to go away, I didn't, she walked over to me and started yelling at me, my stepdad ran out of the kitchen, she pushed me out of the kitchen, I really did think she was gonna beat me but she just told me to pack my ******** and get out if I wouldn’t listen to her authority and that she had it under control, that’s how she works you do one thing its wrong and you should've done the other thing, it’s like walking on glass shards around her, if two people talk at once she starts yelling, after she kicked me out a 4th time I ran away and someone she can’t get it through her thick skull that's what I was doing, she think, I was just going to my dad's house to get a hug, no I almost didn’t even go there, I don't get
angry easily but I'm fed up and I think I should’ve called cps sooner, but I’m worried they won’t do
anything, I’m worried my brother will stay there this has been my life since I was 8 but it’s been his entire life, I don't know how to get cos to listen to me.

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Should I call CPS on my mother?

Should I call CPS on my mother?

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