Should I call CPS on my mother?

[Guest]

Hi im 12 years old about to turn 13 and my mom abuses me. She says she is sorry after she has done it and says she is going ot get help but she never gets it. Everybody is like you should be grateful that I have "such a great mother" because she buys me clothes and I have a bed. We have had cps come to our house 3 times but nothing has happend because I am "too spoiled" because I have clothes and sneakers and a bed. I understand that I have clothes and a roof over my head and I am very grateful for that but that does not give her the right to give me black eyes and make me bleed. I dont know what to do though. My dad is a drunk and lives with his girlfriend in another town but he tried one time to get me. It did not work because I "have a better room at my mothers house". They have said so much BS saying that my mother is a amazing motherand I shoulf not even say anything back to her. I have to say yes miss and no miss to her because she does not like the disrespect when I call her mom. Please i'm asking someone to help me I have attemped to run away 5+ times but they have always found me. I need help please. The abuse gets worse and worse by the minute. She hits me randomly and I dont know what to do. Im only 12 and I can not get out of here without help.

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

We appreciate that you reached out to us and we recognize that it takes a lot of courage and strength to seek help, especially in situations like these. We are terribly sorry to hear that you are having these experiences with your mother. Please know that you do not deserve this type of treatment under any circumstances and though it is great that there are other things at home you are grateful for, it does not excuse this type of behavior from your mother. It sounds like you have tried CPS and have not gotten very far with help from them, and that it has not been easy for your dad to get custody of you. We also see that you mentioned you have made multiple attempts to run away, but that may not have worked in your favor.

We would be glad to chat further with you about the situation and explore options in attempt for you to find a healthier environment. Please know that our bulletins act as a Q&A, and you can receive more in-depth assistance from us through our online chat portal by visiting our website www.1800runaway.org and click on the tab at the top that says "CHAT." You may also contact us via phone call at 1-800-786-2929 (RUNAWAY).

We empower you to please not hesitate to call 911 if you find yourself in any immediate danger.
We look forward to the opportunity to chat with you further about your situation.

Stay Safe,
National Runaway Safeline (NRS)

[Guest]

I might call CPS on my Mom, she is very abusive and blames everything on me
I have a 84 and above in every class and she threating me that she'll send me away if I dont have "HARVARD" grades

[ccsmod3]

Hi,

Thanks for reaching out to us for help. It sounds very overwhelming dealing with a very abusive Mom who is blaming you for everything AND not being satisfied with your solidly good grades.

It might be appropriate to file a CPS report depending on the specifics of your situation and the abuse that is going on. We need to talk with you about things in more detail to help you determine your best next step. If that includes filing a CPS report we can actually do that report if you want.

You can get in touch with us through a chat on our website or on our crisis hotline at (800) RUNAWAY. Both are available 24/7 and both are completely confidential.

We hope to hear from you soon.

NRS

[Guest]

Am 13 my mother has been abusing me for the longest am thinking of running away tonight U have female items ready a bag packed of things to do shes given me black eye dragged me by my hair yelling and screaming at me in front of my skbings had made me walk home in the rain for eating pasta and has verbally abused me by cursing at me afterwards when she's not upset its like everything's fine I feel mentally tired and physically tired I wrote a note earlier about how I want to kms and her and just burn my house down mainly just causing the people I live with harm I wrote down cps number but am scared to do it am scared I have witnesses who saw my black eye and I've been in a foster system before am scared and Only just recently got into a basically me crying and on the phone begging my dad to pick me and let me live with him this started cause I asked for guitar lessons and just said she had to much expectations for me then I tried to run away and she said she wasn't going to deal with me so I asked my mother to just let me live with my father it's been a few months since that but am getting tired and scared again while once again feeling unheard and just want to leave. She has even thrown a metal spoon at me bottles and other items just cause I've upset her not to mention the fat shaming she does And ingores me when I could even need therapy when she has said I have anger issues and has used that against me when I get violent

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern, which it sounds like it is. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
You mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I'm 15 and I don't know if I should be doing this or not but I've gotten tired of this.

For a bit of information, I'm the oldest out of two other kids. My sister, who's 6 and my brother who's 13 in December are also in this.

Since I was little my mom has had a severe alcoholic issue. I can't confirm but I think cps has threatened her before because of this issue. I don't remember much from my childhood about this though. Since I've gotten older her issue has gotten worse and she's started taking more and more amounts of beer/alcohol to the point where she stays up all night to drink instead of getting proper sleep. Her and my dad argue about this a lot and a few times it has gotten physical. No, he has never hit me or my siblings and no, not a bad physical. Mainly just pushing my mom off him and throwing stuff. Depending on when my mom drinks, sometimes she cooks dinner, sometimes she doesn't. If she's sober all day and doesn't drink till around 5pm there is usually dinner. But when she drinks in the morning it's usually me or sometimes my father cooking. My father works long hours on weekdays so it isn't common for him to cook dinner and when he gets home most of the time my mom immediately starts yelling at him and he ignores everyone and everything, leaving me to cook and care for my sister. I don't know if I should call this verbal abuse or not but sometimes when she's drunk and gets angry at me and I defend myself she will sometimes call me names like stupid and lazy. Other times she will say stuff like "you will get nowhere in life" basically calling me hopeless and useless without using the words. I will admit, out of anger I sometimes do call her names but after I do feel guilty and sometimes I try to apologize but she never takes it. Today (06-21-22) I went to go and cook food for my sister and I as my sister hasn't been properly fed all day. (Ice cream bars and chips + dip) my mom was on the phone at this time and after she started talking to me about random doctor appointments and then realized I was trying to use the stove. She told me it wasn't turned on and a bit annoyed, I told my sister nevermind and I went to go cook her some noodles that were in the cabinet. I went over and started looking for them and my mom got kinda mad telling me to just make a sandwich. Because of the hot weather this week we've had all the ACS and fans on, making the house a bit cold and I wanted my sister to eat something warm as I already promised her noodles. So I told her no, I was going to make something warm and she got really mad at me telling me she didn't want me too because the microwave would make the house warm. I asked her how it would affect her because 1. I was cooking, not her and 2. How did the microwave being on for 30 seconds make the house hot? She said she just wanted the house cold for when my father got home. After a bit of arguing I told her to shut up because all I was trying to do was feed my sister and me. She told me no and that I should shut up and go back upstairs. I said no bc ofc the food and that I was hungry and so was my sister. A while into arguing she got really mad and abuse was brought up, I told her if she was that mad to come and hit me and I don't remember the exact words but she said she was abusive like her parents or she would. She has threatened to hit me a few times over the years but no action. Somewhere I'm this she told me how she wishes I could move out today as she didn't even want me in her house. I ended up never making the noodles for my sister and told her id just starve myself. She said "good". And continued talking down on me poorly after I went upstairs and talked bad about me when my father got home.

I don't know if this is at all a valid reason to try reaching out for help and honestly, I am terrified. I love my mother, a lot. When she's sober she does cook dinner and sometimes I refuse it just because 1. I'm not hungry or 2. I'm not the biggest fan of. The food (I usually do try to try to food before not eating though.) I just want it to stop. This had made me question whether or not I'm worthy of living and I am pretty sure I've had depression for a few years because of this. A few months back my doctor recommend me therapy because of stuff we talked about and my doctor told my mom and my mom never put me in it because simply because I didn't feel comfortable talking to her about what I talked about with my doctor because I knew she'd yell at me for it. I feel like I cannot talk to anyone just because my self esteem has gotten so low because of her issue.


Should I contact cps?

[ccsmod6]

Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It is really unfortunate that you are going through such turmoil at your age and hopefully you realize it is not something you should take any blame for. It appears that your mom has a real issue with alcohol but you should be commended for stepping in to assist with all that you are to protect you and your siblings!

If you think that CPS has been contacted in the past, it may be a source for you to recontact should you be able to get a contact name and number from your father. Hopefully you and your father have a relationship that is strong enough where you can both speak candidly about what’s going on and determine if there are other ways to help your mother. If there are other adult relatives that you and your dad might be able to speak to you may get some help there. Since you didn’t mention where you are located it’s hard for me to offer you a specific phone number, but a google search to find your local Al-Anon/Al-Teen chapter would be great as a way for you to get some support.

It would be great if you could find the time to reach out to us either via www.1800runaway.org at our chat option or via 1-800-786-2929 which is our help line should you want to speak to a person. Here at NRS we have a database of resources we can look into close to where you live ranging from places for therapy to in dealing what you are going through and more importantly ways to deal with your mom’s situation and perhaps getting her some assistance.

Thanks again for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. Hopefully we will hear from you soon.

[Guest]

I am considering calling CPS on my mom, but I know dont know if im just over reacting...
Im 13 (female) and my mom will always grab and touch my butt no matter how many times I push her away and tell her to stop. A couple days ago she said she can touch me wherever she wants without consent because i was made inside of her. it makes me super uncomfortable. She also believes that because I am a child, I have no right to any privacy. Im not allowed to lock my door, she checks all my messages and socials and I feel like I cant say anything because she will see it, like i have to keep it all to myself. Im also very scared of her.. I know so many people have it way way worse but I am the kind of person who says what I feel and will "talk back" to my mom. but then im terrified that she will hit me. She occasionally will hit me but its enough to make me scared of her. One time when we were bowling with her friend, I nudged her leg with my foot and told her it was her turn. Then she screamed at me and kicked me in the shin (bowling shoes hurt man) and told me that it wasnt ready even though by the time she picked up the ball it would most definitely be ready. Her friend did say anything and I just sat there. Then she does the whole "Im sorry I shouldn't have done that" bull crap. I was bruised for like 2-3 weeks. Im worried that If I call CPS that she will get arrested and I will have to move in with my dad who doesnt like pets, and I have two cats that mean everything to me. I also fear that if she doesnt get arrested that she will be pissed at me for calling CPS or maybe send me to therapy against my will or something. My friend says that the whole touching my butt thing is just "a mom thing" but idk...
What should I do?

[ccsmod14]

Hi, thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. You are very brave with sharing your experience and it was good idea to reach out to NRS for help. NRS is sorry to hear about your experiences. Reaching out to CPS is not a bad idea at all especially if the abuse seems a bit too much. It will also be a great idea to talk to your mom and explain to know how you are feeling. You can also consider other options such as speaking with a counselor or support group about what you're experiencing at home. If you are open to any recourses, please don't hesitated to reach out to NRS for help with finding resources.

NRS want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please contact our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat.




Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).



If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.



We hope to hear from you soon.



Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

im 15 and my mother is insane.
ive raised 2 of my brothers at the age of seven, changing diapers, making food, cleaning with little to no help from my mother. i still clean the house 24/7 and pitch in anywhere that im needed. she is constantly guilt tripping me for 'not getting anything done' or 'being a lazy **********' when i work day and night on homework, keeping things clean, spending time with my 6 year old brother because she wont. recently we went to a Broadway musical and afterwards i told her thank you and showed her how much i appreciated it, i cleaned and made her food, and she still told me that i was ungrateful and that i never show any thanks. she has told my that i dont deserve to eat and that im not good enough. ive done things for her everyday with no support or love back from her.
she often tells me to do things promising that we will do something else in return just to break her word. shes constantly gas lighting me and guilt tripping me for things i never did. or ill remind her of something she told me or promised me and she'll say that she never said that or i was crazy or that 'she just needs the help.' im done dealing with her bull******** and im not sure what i can stand much longer. what should i do?

[ccsmod14]

Hi, thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. NRS is sorry to hear about that you been going through and NRS is here to help. You are very brave for sharing your experiences, thoughts, and experiences. It seems that you are a tired, overwhelmed, and frustrated with what you are experiencing with your mom. It also seems that you were willing to do as much as you can to help your mother and siblings. If you feel the need to reach out to CPS, that's not a bad idea at all. It will also be helpful to express your thoughts and feelings to your mom if you think that is possible.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please contact our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat.




Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).



If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.



We hope to hear from you soon.



Be safe,

NRS