Should I call CPS on my mother?

She hits me

[ccsmod7]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are going through so much at home, and your mom's hurtful words and actions are making you feel like you should just end it all. You and your safety are incredibly important and here at NRS we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we are so glad that you did. Your life has worth and our top priority is your safety. If you feel this is an emergency you could consider calling 911 for emergency assistance. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.

You mentioned reaching out to police and CPS and them not being helpful. That has to be so frustrating that police said it was okay for you to be harmed. It is true that in some states there are laws around appropriate forms of discipline. However, it is not okay that she is throwing you to the floor. It also seems really scary that she is threatening you about reaching out to help when they are harming you. If you haven't already, you might try to tell a teacher or a counselor at school about what is going on. So that they could report to CPS and be an advocate for you if your mom tries to lie more. If you can call or chat us, we can try to brainstorm your options and look for local resources that might be able to help.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat us so we can best help. Be safe,

NRS

Hey I’m 16. It’s been rough with my family my dad got mad started shooting his gun in the back yard cuz he was mad. My mom goes insane over little things like I didn’t take the trash out once I got thrown to the floor she pulled my hair ripped my shirt and I had to run away for a little. My mom tells me she doesn’t love me and I’m not the kid she wanted me to be. I’m not doing well in school at all but still managing to pass some classes with a 1.8 gpa, but I wanna stay in high school and finish and she keeps saying she’s gonna take me out of school completely cuz she thinks I don’t even try. She says I’m not allowed to have friends or talk to people so I got everything taken from me now I’m using a school iPad. But I’m pretty sure it’s because last time I called the cops and tried to get cps when she started getting aggressive with me again and would grab my arm when I would try to call the cops then she act like nothings happens when they come. She’s really good at lying and I wish I could just get proof of her doing these things. The cops said she’s allowed to hit me cuz I’m a big guy and if she needs to get my under control she’s allowed to use force. My parents sent me to the ER and told them I have mental problems I told them what the cops told me and they said she’s not allowed to use force so the cops don’t even know the law. I’m only 16 so I feel like I have no power over anything cuz apparently my parents can do what they want with me cuz I’m a minor. If I call cps my mom will even take more away from me like lock me in my room again or take me out of high school so I’m to scared to call anyone. She tells me she’s just gonna take me out school cuz I have no future and it’s already ruined. I can’t call the cops cuz they believe her not me and all because I called the cops she takes my phone texts my friends on it and also says I can’t talk to anyone anymore. I’m just scared I don’t even know what to say there’s to much to explain I don’t even know if I explained any of this well. She’s just taking my life away from me and the only reason I’m even trying anymore is cuz of one girl I’ve been talking to for years... now she trying to get rid of her once I lose her I have nothing to lose anymore and ima just give up and take my moms advise about me not having a future and just end it all. And I have a little brother I don’t want him to go through what’s going on and I don’t want him to go though what i am when he’s older.

[ccsmod4]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. Child Help 1-800-422-4453 is a resource to reach out to when abuse in the home occurs.

You don’t deserve to be treated unfairly and have family members call you names. You have feelings and those feelings should be respected. As a person you deserve to be respected.
It is not your fault that you have been treated this way.
You are very strong to reach out and share what has been going on.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of options that may lead to ideas previously not thought of. You are not alone in this.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe and stay strong,
NRS

[ccsmod10]

Thank you for telling us your story and reaching out. It can be difficult telling others what has happened to you and you are very brave for doing so. It can be difficult to manage situations like this and you don’t have to do it alone. If you haven’t already, you could consider reporting the abuse you and your brother have been experiencing. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. In some cases CPS might not slit you up from your other family but recommend other solutions like counseling.

If you don’t feel safe and feel like you need to get away Nationalsafeplace.org provides a safe location for you to meet a staff member who can take you to a designated place where you can discuss all options about how to stay safe. You can text 44357 the word “safe,” and your location to find a safe location in your area. Once you arrive let someone who works there know you need help connecting with a staff member.

Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.

Hey, I’m 11 and I don’t know wether or not i should call cps on my mom.

The reason I am asking this is because she hits me, and slaps me. She really hurts me. She also cusses a lot when she is mad at me. I am sort of scared of her when she is mad at me. When she is around other people, she is fine, but she gets really mad at me and cusses for the rudest and stupidest reasons. I live in an Indian household, so my grades are really important. I am an A student, but sometimes I get Bs, and my mom goes psycho. When my dad tries to protect me, she threatens to hurt him as well. I have asked my dad about calling cps, but he says that I will have to live in a foster home, which I don’t want, because my parents are normally both really fun people. Lately, she has been favoring my 5 year old brother, because even though I got all As this grading period, she is so proud of him because he got 5th in the kindergarten spelling bee. She also slapped me for not joining other education clubs. She also slaps my brother when he screws up. He is only 5! Currently, she has taken my iPhone because of this. She hurts me a lot, and right now I have wrist fracture, and is threatening to break my other wrist if I don’t get an A on my math test. Please help me, for I have no idea what to do. If this gets worse, I might think about calling cps, but I love my dad and my brother, and I don’t want to go to a foster home.

Hey I'm trying to decide whether I should call cps on my mom, I'm 14, it all started when my little brother was born, I guess the stress pushed her over the edge or something, at the time me, my dad, my step dad, and my mom all lived in the same house, because my mom and my dad were still friends, and neither had enough money so they were all sharing rent, so my little brother is born and at first its ok, I was 8 at the time, a couple months after my brother was born the yelling started, my mom would throw things, yell at people for no reason and go on screaming for others, and then she'd, be fine, I now know she has DID and is bipolar, the yelling would happen on the daily, it would make me late for school or just miss school all together because they wouldn't let me walk, I remember once I came out onto the side yard to see my year old baby brother sitting there by himself no one in sight bawling, I was 8 still, this side yard was scary to me cause there was broken glass everywhere and a family of raccoons lived there, my mom got 51-50(taken to a mental hospital) forth first time that year, the fights got worse throughout second and third grade, going from a few times a day to practically all day, even at night, my mom refused to go on anti-depressants and wouldn’t let anyone else go one them, then in 4th grade she pulled me, out of school to be homeschooled for me this was terrifying, school was the place I would go to get away from the fights, though I didn't realize it, I can’t remember anything from 4th grade, I blocked it out, I was homeschooled for half of 5th grade before we finally moved, I went back to school as no one could watch me, my dad and mom lived in different houses now so I went to school at my dad's which was sweet relief from the fights, except I still had to go to my mom's house every weekend, I would cry and beg my dad not to make me go, but without fail every time she would force me to go, I was also scared for my little brother, knowing the fights still continued, that summer my dad moved so I changed school districts, still not wanting to see my mom much as she hadn’t changed, come 6th grade everything got worse, my mom was and about me going to school up at my dad's house, she yelled at us over the phone, yelled at my stepdad, I was terrified to go to my mom's house, several times my dad literally carried me down to the car, when I was younger she only ever slapped me twice, neither for, good reasons but I don't consider either times big incidents, in 6th grade she and my stepdad were fighting, it was worse the usual, they had been known to hit each other and throw things, but this caught me off guard, I walked in to find my mom strangling my stepdad, his face was purple and I will never forget the image, he told me to call the cops and I ran into the bathroom, and called the cops, my mom got sent to a mental hospital and cos did nothing, they were called but decided it wasn’t important, at this point my stepdad wanted to divorce my mom for obvious reasons, and this is when it got even worse, now instead of yelling at my stepdad she would yell at me and my little brother, who was 3 at the time, I remember once in a park she went off on me because I said I wanted to read in the car instead of play soccer, she pulled me out of the car and proceeded to start to spank me, knowing her I thought she was going to try and pull down my pants to spank me, so I moved not wanting to have my pants pulled down in a park, she proceeded to hit me over and over and over on the back of my back, head, there were hand marks and bruise for a long time after, even then my dad still forced me to go down to my mom's house, around this time a new rule was instated, that I have to call my mother, every night at 7, a little after thus my mother tried to commit suicide, me and my brother had to stop her, I called 911 for an ambulance, she got 51-50 again, cps was called and didn’t do anything, again, things stayed about the same throughout 6th grade, ending the year with my mon and step dad not getting a divorce, getting back together, and my mom starting anti-depressants, 7th grade, things are the same, fights happen whenever I’m there, me and my little brother grew apart more, school is terrible, oh yeah I was also being bullied in 6th grade, then come the summer after 7th grade I was told I had a choice on where to go for 8th grade my last year of middle school, obviously I wanted to go to school at my dad's house but my mom kept telling me how much it hurt her that I was going to school up at my dad's house, since I was 8 I've been responsible for how my mother feels, I have to make her feel better, resolve the fights, comfort her, all while she calls me a brat, unable, to feel empathy, broken, **********, asshole, and stuff I don’t remember and don’t want to, so she guilt tripped me into going to school at her house, I love her, but I’m fed up, a couple of fights a week, then we visited family, and then my mom said she was moving out of state soon so U transferred back to the school at my dad's house and it was great, then out of the blue I was forced to switch back to the school near my mom's house when she changed her mind as she does once a week, I begged them not to make me switch but they did, since then she has kicked me out 4 times, 2 times for showing emotion, once for I don't even remember what, and the most recent time because I walked into the kitchen when she was yelling at my stepdad and stood there and watched so they wouldn’t start hitting each other, he was trying to calm down but she wouldn't leave him alone, she noticed me and she told me to go away, I didn't, she walked over to me and started yelling at me, my stepdad ran out of the kitchen, she pushed me out of the kitchen, I really did think she was gonna beat me but she just told me to pack my ******** and get out if I wouldn’t listen to her authority and that she had it under control, that’s how she works you do one thing its wrong and you should've done the other thing, it’s like walking on glass shards around her, if two people talk at once she starts yelling, after she kicked me out a 4th time I ran away and someone she can’t get it through her thick skull that's what I was doing, she think, I was just going to my dad's house to get a hug, no I almost didn’t even go there, I don't get
angry easily but I'm fed up and I think I should’ve called cps sooner, but I’m worried they won’t do
anything, I’m worried my brother will stay there this has been my life since I was 8 but it’s been his entire life, I don't know how to get cos to listen to me.

[ccsmod4]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and we understand how not having a supportive parent can be frustrating. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe. You are in no way at fault for her reaction and treatment.

We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. Your bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities (child services) and possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead
If you can would like to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or live chat www.1800runaway.org we can hear your thoughts about what you think is best for your situation and even explore some options with you. If you feel unsafe and or at risk we encourage you to reach out for help with emergency services by dialing 9-1-1. To report any form of child abuse you can do so at school by explaining your situation to a teacher, counselor or social worker. They are mandated to file a child abuse report on your behalf. If you would like to file a report contact Child Help at: 1-800-422-4453

Stay Strong and be safe,
NRS

Hi I'm 15 and I don't know whether to call CPS on my mother.

I apologize if this a bit scrambled its late and I'm definitely panicking about this subject I came out to my mom as gay in July earlier this year and her behavior quickly became aggressive. She is a born again Christian and WILL NOT tolerate having a gay child under her roof. While I have tried convincing her to allow me to simply stay with other family she is convinced she can 'fix me.' she sends me to Christian therapy as well as forces me to go to every church event I could possibly go to, she constantly harasses me about the subject, whether it's invasive questioning, insulting me or straight up screaming and threatening to hurt me. She has had church members watch me around town when I'm out with any girl, if I'm seem having any physical contact with another girl (I'm talking like even the slightest such as sitting 'too close together') I am screamed at, I have all devices taken away, including my school issued laptop which I need to do homework and I am put under house arrest. In addition to my sexuality she is very focused on my appearance, more specifically my weight. I'm not overweight but I'm definitely not a twig, but my mom believes I need to lose a large amount of weight, even encouraging me to start an eating disorder. She loves to publicly humiliate me if I stand even a bit out of line, she has screamed at me in a car full of my friends, loudly ridiculed me for my weight in the middle of a mall and even grabbed me by the hair in a store. She refuses to take me to a doctor even for yearly checkups claiming that it's too expensive even though I very clearly have areas of concern. She believes mental health is a giant performance to get the attention of others. She makes fun of my anxiety attacks and yells at me for saying I'm depressed. I even came to her saying I have considered suicide but she simply told me I was an attention w*ore my mother doesn't have a mobile phone, she refuses to get anything more than a home phone. She has left me stranded places such as empty parking lots and closing coffee shops until and I have had no way of contacting her, but if I am to call someone else to pick me up she threatens to press kidnapping charges. I'm starting to really question calling CPS on my mother but I fear if my case falls through that the aggressive behavior will only get worse.

[ccsmod13]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS! From what you shared it sounds like you have been dealing with a lot and are not sure what you can do to change the situation. Home is supposed to be safe and it seems like your mom has been making you feel very unsafe which is not okay. You deserve to feel loved and supported.

If you are not feeling safe at home, you can always call 911 for emergency services. Additionally, you have the option of filing an abuse report. Child Help is available to help you at 1-800-422-4453 for more information and help filing an abuse report. NRS is available 24/7 if you ever need someone to listen or you want to talk more about options. There might also be people around you who could offer some support in your situation. We encourage you to reach out to a friend or an adult at school you trust for support. An adult at school will also be able to help you file an abuse report if that’s what you want.

Please feel free to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us at 1800runaway.org.

Stay strong,
NRS

So I’m not sure what to do here guess I have to start from the begging win I was around 2 my dad left me and my mom for another women which I don’t blame him because my mom has extreme bipolar disorder an she didn’t have help back then so she would lash out and yell I don’t Remember it all that well since I was 2 but soon after my mother left me to for drugs and my grandmother took me my mom came back into my life after about 2 years but would never let my dad see me she finally let him see me when I was around 5 but barley an she would always be dating a new guy every week an I’d be passed around with her from one boyfriend to another she met my step dad when I was about 8 and they got married so long story a little shorter I have a step mom and step dad I’m now 14 an see my mom a week then my dad a week but I have a little brother who is 6 and a sister who is 3 at my mothers an I’ve been raising both of them since I was about 11 my moms has been into marijuana well I’m not sure how long but I’ve know since I was 10 and she still does it she lies to everyone about it tho and my step dad has always made me uncomfortable giving me more attention as I got older and grew up and he is a major alcoholic and my mother again is bipolar and goes crazy in everyone my little brother has a bit of a behavior problem and my mother and step dad always seem to be a little to physical with him once my mother has even dragged him up the stairs by his throat because he wouldn’t take a picture my mother has recently gotten fired from he teaching job for doing inappropriate things and this has cause her to lash out more and more daily she’s either screaming and cussing out at me and my brother and sister (sometimes it even gets physical) or in her room smoking while I watch the kids she’s currently waiting to go to court due to her issues with her teaching job and everything just keeps getting worse I’m not sure what to do anymore because I can’t be around all the time to protect my brother and sister from her and she won’t let me grandmother come in and see them either I don’t feel like there safe there and I don’t know what I should do please give me some advice

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out to us here, it can take a lot of bravery to put something like this out there. It seems like you have gone through a lot since a young age, and have persevered. It is understandable to feel a sense of guilt when considering to report abusive behavior, especially of a close loved one. But physical and emotional abuse are never ok. You should be able to live in a safe and healthy environment and it seems like you think the one you are in now does not meet that standard.
If you are having suicidal thoughts please don’t hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevent Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Life can be hard at times but you seem to have gotten through a lot and you can persevere again.
We are also totally willing to listen to your story on our hotline at 1-800-786-2929, often getting something so serious off your chest can feel like a giant relief. We try to be as non-judgemental and non-directional as possible so you won’t feel pressure from us to make a decision in one way or another. We can provide a safe space to talk to someone who doesn’t have a preconceived notion of who you or your parents are.
If you are looking to talk face-to-face with another person you might consider a counselor. It could be a private one, a family-counselor, or your school counselor. They are there to listen to you and try and help you through issues you may be having.
If you have other questions or need more help you can always email us, chat online through our website, or call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929.

I've been very unsure for some time on whether or not I should get outside help with my family situation. I'm 14, and have one older sister who's unable to walk and has severe allergies, an another older sister with emotional issues, and two parents that are fairly old to have a child my age.
Ever since I can remember, my sister with emotional issues was emotionally and physically abusive to me. She'd belittle me daily, kick me down stairs, hit me, and push me. (When this was happening, I wasn't even four, and she was in her early twenties.) . At the time, I didn't tell my parents because of my age and not knowing that this abuse wasn't normal, and fearing that if I did tell my sister would lie and say it didn't happen. She would often be told to babysit me, and when we were home alone, her boyfriend would come over. I specifically remember her changing my diaper one day and him looking at me inappropriately without her knowing. She looked up following my gaze, and told him to get out. Even after this event took place, she still invited her boyfriend over. Although I was young, I knew what he did was wrong, and I was most definitely afraid of him. After the age of four, she moved out and later broke up with her boyfriend. Once again, I know I was very young, but memories like these stick with you.
My other sister with physical and allergy issues was also in her early twenties at the time. She has had a lot of surgeries and health issues in the past, and most of my earliest memories were in the hospital, waiting on her to be released. Seeing my sister, who I viewed to be a role model at the time, constantly in life threatening condition, was very traumatic and impossible to forget.
My parents were very hard on me when I was little. If I refused to eat something, I would be spanked by my mother or father many times in a row with wooden spatulas, paddles, you name it. I'm aware this fairly common for punishment, but it was pretty extreme considering they started this very young. I would be put in "time out" for two to five hours on end multiple times a day when I was little. I didn't have any friends, and I didn't even know how to socialize with anyone my age. This strongly affected my school years, and I didn't have even one friend until I reached fourth grade. I had never learned to be social and interact, and this caused bullying. After I began school, the physical violence coming from my parents got more extreme, less and less what one would consider normal. I would be drug by my hair up the stairs, slapped and/or punched in the face, etc. This decreased around the age of 11 or 12, and even though it's been a few years, I'm still afraid of them. My parents would threaten to take me to a mental hospital and practically brainwashed me into thinking I was the worst child out there. I was constantly made to feel not good enough, compared to my sisters, and made to feel like I was a mistake. Saying all of this would come to a shock of anyone who has known my parents. They go to church, they seem all nice to everyone else, etc. My parents buy me nice things, they feed me, give me clothes, shelter, medical care, etc. All of these things are very generous of them and I'm very thankful for the stuff they do for me. Because of these things, it's hard to talk to someone about what goes on. They just think that I'm not appreciative and that I'm bratty. I know I've done things, as everyone has, but nothing I have done deserves the emotional and physical abuse I've received from my parents, and I know that this is true.
Because of these events, I have struggled and still struggle with severe disassociation (a common ptsd symptom), anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and depression. I've never felt there's a way out, and this has caused me to feel the only option was ending my life, and I have tried in the past. The emotional abuse has recently started getting worse again, and I'm feeling as though calling someone is my last resort. I question my decisions in telling people, I question whether I deserve it, and I'm just completely unsure of what to do.

[ccsmod13]

Hi, thanks for reaching out to us at NRS.

You mentioned that you’re not brave, but we want to acknowledge that it takes bravery just in the act of reaching out to us, so you deserve more credit than you’re giving yourself. It sounds like things have been really frustrating living with your parents at home. You asked in the subject if you should call CPS on your mother. It is hard to say based on what we know about your situation, but if you believe you are being physically, emotionally, and/or sexually abused or neglected, it is possible that it is worth notifying CPS and trying to get help. One website that might be useful in learning more about Child Abuse and options for help is: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. You are also more than welcome to give us a call at (800) 786-2929 to talk more about your situation, and we can help you decide your mom’s behavior qualifies as abuse. If it does, we can either call to make the report ourselves or call with you. If you are interested, you could also call the National Child Abuse Hotline (800) 422-4453 yourself to share with them your situation and see if they might be able to help. If you have access to a healthcare provider, school staff, counselor, or other professional person who you trust, they can also assist you in making a report or providing you with the support you need. Nobody deserves to be abused, and you do not have to go through this alone.

Best of luck,
NRS

I'm twelve years old, and I'm wondering what i should do, I'm not brave at all, But here it goes..My mother is denial and delusional this is just an idea what she she's like. My mother lies for the stupidist reasons and to my dad, my dad is selfish though. But I'm not sure what to do in this situation, because i don't live or i mean not close to my family, and i don't have much family.