leaving home at 15

[Guest]

i am 14, 1 month off 15. my mother has always treated me like her punching bag, she will get home from work and scream at me for minor problems, but then go into my older sisters room and give her love and affection, she would never have to do house work and get to sleep all day etc. she smokes weed and doesnt try to hide it from me, ive been dragged into drug deals with her and all sorts of things, and i kbow rhat if i mention that to dhs, im out of her care, but i dont want to put her in that situation, i used to be addicted to weed and i blame her for that. ive always been the forgotten child, ive had depression for a while now, the first time i cut, she saw one day and didn't mention anything about it until the next day i ran out and went to tell her an interesting story, she then looked up at me and said "before you tell me about your story, i dont care. why dont you go off and cut yourself again, ill supply the blades and the pills if you like". my heart sunk, i just wanted to end it right there and then. i blame my mum for alot of my depression and unhappiness, the things she says to me hurt more than anything i can imagine "if it wasnt for you i would still be with ******* (her ex) and happy", ( ******* used to abuse me and pretty much make me his slave, he has sexually touched me and she knows that, but still goes ahead and says that) "you think your life is hard? try having to deal with a daughter like you" she used to say as well. she is manipulative and she is a fake mother, infront of everyone shes perfect, but as soon as its just me and her, she treats me like dirt. my father is just as bad, if not worse. he used to always threaten to hit me, he didnt always but he did sometimes, he verbally abused me and brain washed me, this was about 4 years ago, he has changed a little since then, i told my mum that i wanted to live with my dad once he had a spare room, and she went psycho, told me to grab my ******** and leave, im now living with my dad but i dont have a room, so i sleep in the lounge room. i dont feel unsafe, however i feel that i have to always do everything right, or i get yelled at and abused "you're useless", "you're just like your mother", "you shouldnt have been born". i have a friend that lives on the other side of australia and his family have said that i can live with them, but how can i make that possible?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and her to listen. Wow it sounds like you have dealt with a lot in your life, and we want you to know you are not alone.
First of all, it seems what your mother is doing is emotional abuse and neglect, which you do not deserve. We know you mentioned that if you get DHS involved you would no longer be in your mother’s care, while sometimes that is true that is not always the case. They may provide services such as drug counseling and parenting classes for your mother. You do have the right to make a report and there are a few ways you can go about doing this. One option to consider is calling Child Help at: 1800-422-4453. You can also call us at 1800-786-2929 and we would be able to help you make an abuse report. If you are ever in immediate danger, please call 911.
Also it is unfortunate that your mother did not want to listen to your story and seemed to make you feel even worse. We want you to know that you are worth living and your life is valuable. Suicide is a permanent decision to a temporary situation. If you are ever feeling suicidal or just need someone to talk to please call The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: 1800-273-8255. There is always someone willing to listen and willing to help
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
NRS