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Seriously Thinking about Running Away due to Problems with Parents

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  • Seriously Thinking about Running Away due to Problems with Parents

    okay so here is my problem. I am a 16 year old male from North Carolina. About four months ago, back in August, I was caught being high by my parents. They are strict and my mother was more devastated out of them both.
    It was about my third time smoking and they were saddened and ashamed. I felt bad and tried earning their trust back over the preceding months. All was going well
    before this incident. I have never been known by anyone, even my parents, as a bad child before this. I am at the top of my class and I maintain a 4.5 GPA in school.
    I am involved in school and club soccer and my social life was doing well. I volunteered in my community and was a pretty well rounded kid. I did typical teenager stuff
    like smoke, drink, and hook up, but it never really affected my life at all, as I was a happy person, who i considered, was just living my life as anyone else. I
    had plans to go to Duke University on a soccer scholarship. I admit I did disrespect and lie to my parents at times, but it was pretty mild. A year ago, I was caught shoplifting
    at a mall and was detained but not arrested or charged. It was a scary experience and my parents saw me as well as my three younger siblings. I made a vow to never
    steal again, which I can proudly say I have kept to this day. Since then, that incident with weed and another incident has happened as well. After getting caught high,
    things seemed to be looking up. I had gotten most of the stuff that was taken away back(phone, debit card, ability to hang with my friends and have people over). (Although, I lost my opportunity at a car).
    Then, my parents went out of town for a weekend and using methods, I had snuck back into my house without my parents knowing (they did not trust me home by myself and had left me with relatives) and had some girls
    over that night. They find out when they come back and I tell them the whole story. Trust is lost again, privileges taken, its worse now. Once again, I realize the wrongs of my actions
    and I work to make amends with them, even offering to get a job to keep me busy and responsible. This happened about three weeks ago. During those times, I had considered running away and
    realized that it would be a wrong decision to do so. Although, my mom has now become paranoid about everything I do and also verbally abuses me when she is angry at times.
    When I was caught, she told me that I was "an evil child" and "I'm going straight to hell" "I'm a liar and a truly bad child." She has cussed at me and she is the stricter of the two parents.
    My biological father, who does not live with us, tells her that she is not being strict enough and that I should be grounded with no privileges whatsoever for an entire year.
    He has done that action to my step-sister when he found out that she had lost her virginity at 16. (She is 17 and a senior, now ungrounded). I am tired with my relationship with my mother
    I love her but she and I do not get along and end up yelling at each other each time we talk. She is paranoid about everything I do, and once followed me outside of the house
    when I was only in my boxers because she suspected I was meeting a friend for some drugs, when I had told her I was getting something I left in the car.
    Fast forward to today. After school, I came home and found out that my mom had cleaned my bathroom and found some objects that she believes, in her paranoia, that
    I used to smoke. A damp towel that I used to dust and clean my bathroom which had clear dust stains on it is not a towel I used somehow to smoke. She adamantly
    believes that it is smoke stains and nothing else. Scissors that I had tossed under my sink are somehow linked to it as well, and glue residue on it now is residue from
    weed. Lastly, a small vial of pee is coincidentally something I would use to hide a drug test that was threatened to be given to me a week ago. (It's my own pee.)
    (I had thrown it down there months ago when a friend asked me for some clean pee to use to pass his drug test. He didn't need it anymore so I just threw it in there.)
    She had a breakdown. She strongly believes her theory that she came up with and won't believe me at all now that her trust for me is gone. I tried to explain everything
    but she will not listen. This is how many things have gone. Now,I am being punished for something I haven't done and she is threatening to send me to my dads
    for Christmas. I find no use in trying to win her trust back anymore because she will listen to no one but herself. Since the last incident, I have fallen into
    a sort of depression and my friends are breaking off from me. I barely go out anymore and feel alone. I have nothing to do and this will be the situation for more
    than I can bear. I'm tired and I feel alone and I just want to be done with it all. My social life has fallen apart and so has my will to succeed. I feel like running away
    will be better. Any questions to help add more detail to the situation are welcome. Thanks for reading, I appreciate the advice. I have thought out what I will plan to do.

  • #2
    Re: Seriously Thinking about Running Away due to Problems with Parents

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like the past couple of months have been stressful on you and even frustrating at times. First and foremost it sounds like you have been doing great in school and in soccer and it’s great to hear from a fellow volunteer. Being able to manage all of those things speaks volumes.
    Based on what you have shared with us, it sounds like trust has been the elephant in the room. Trust is hard and is definitely something that can be broken, but can always be strengthened. Would talking with your parents about what you can do to build their trust be an option? Maybe there are steps you and your parents can take together to strengthen the trust. We understand talking with parents can be hard and do provide conference calls with individuals and their parents to discuss topics that can be difficult. The goal of the conference call is to provide a safe place for you and your parents and to try and mediate the conversation that is productive and less stressful. A conference call can discuss next steps, goals, etc.
    If you would feel more comfortable just talking to one of us, that is also an option. We can discuss further together your feelings and next steps. You should never feel alone and know that we are always here to listen. If either options are something you would be interested in you can call us anytime. We are 24/7 and our number is 1-800-Runaway.
    You also mentioned running away in your message. What would running away look like for you? Would living with a family member be an option? Would school be an issue? Again, if you ever find you want to talk with us further about how your feeling, you can always give us a call.
    Thank you again for reaching out to us. We are always available by phone or via chat if you want to explore any of the above options further.
    Take care,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)


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