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15, Would potentially like to be put in another household

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  • 15, Would potentially like to be put in another household

    Hi! I am 15 years old and wil be turning 16 in December. I am in 10th grade at the moment, in an online school. For reference, I live with my mother, I have an older brother and sister, and my father is out of the country. From 1st to 5th grade I was bullied the majority of the time I was present. Once it settled down in 5th grade, I was at a loss. The lifestyle I had been living just changed suddenly. I had been having a difficult time doing school work, because I was distracted of how peers would view me now. My poor work ethic led to myself being constantly being belittled by mother, phrases and words such as "worthless", "not good enough", "why can't you be normal?", "you are the only child of mine who is like this, why aren't you like your brother and sister?" These events became a stepping stone towards my anxiety and depression that escalated throughout the upcoming years along with constant insults. It completely brought down the motivation in myself to do anything at all. In middle school, which was the period where this escalated, I was unable to do schoolwork at home. At siblings's houses, at school, library, I was able to do my work very efficiently, but as soon as I came home I just became numb and could not do it. 9th grade, I did absolutely fine in the beginning, no missing homework, took notes efficiently, everything was alright. As soon as my mother started with insult after insult, for no particular reason I could find, I went back to where I started. I started not wanting to go to school, stressed every day thinking in the back of my mind, "What does it matter? I'll never amount to anything anyway." Occasional hitting started coming into play as well. At this point, whenever we fight, all that is felt is just nothing. It just feels empty. I have went to a couple of therapists, for perhaps a couple months/weeks with each and had not found one who best fit with myself and had not found results, because ultimately I feel like my mother is a huge part of the equation and when she does not cooperate for the sake of her feeling that she has done nothing wrong to me and has always done everything for me (which is common for her to say to anyone who questions her), then nothing is going to improve. When I am away from her, I feel more energized, motivated, and feel free of the shackles I am in (Not to say parents in general 'shackle' their children, but more so saying in reference to my situation). I have talked about how I feel to my mother a millennial of times, how it affects me and how she can help, but she refuses to accept a word I say. I have tried for years on end, but nothing has ever gone through to her. With my siblings, since I assume they only hear my mother's side and tend not to listen to my words, their words usually become "That's just how she is, we have to deal with it." I would like to be put in another household by any chance to fully utilize what knowledge I have to have a bright future ahead of me, instead of being stuck not progressing with my life.

    Thank you, K****(named edited to protect confidentiality.)

  • #2
    Re: 15, Would potentially like to be put in another household

    Hello,

    It sounds like you’re in a really tough and scary situation at home. I’m really glad you reached out to us – no one has the right to hurt or belittle you like you describe your mom doing. It’s really courageous of you to continue to strive to do well in school despite all of obstacles you’ve faced! There are a number of options we can discuss with you as far as finding a safe place for you to live and people who will support you. One is making an abuse report to Child Protective Services. Depending on your situation and your state, you may also be able to become emancipated, or declared a legal adult by a judge. Alternatively, you might be able to arrange with your mother’s permission to live with a different relative or in a youth shelter, or you might be able to come up with other solutions. If you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we can discuss what those options would look like, help you decide on a plan, and get you in touch with any other resources you need. We hope to hear from you soon!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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