Hate this life of mine

[Guest]

Hi,
I hate my parents, i can't talk to them anymore, at all. We don't talk about anything unless i ask for something/someone to come over
I really want to runaway, i hate my 2 silblings as well. Im the middle child who gets no attention. none.
i really really want to run away i just dont have the guts

The only things worth living for in my life are my boyfriend, my best friend, and a couple other friends.

i Hate school. It's pointless/useless because i'm never gonna use this stuff when i grow up !

Oh, and I'm 14, girl, from Ontario

[ccsmod7]

Re: Hate this life of mine

Thanks for writing in and telling us about your situation. It sounds like things at home are not going so well and it’s gotten to the point where you are thinking of running away. You mentioned that you dislike your parents and siblings and feel like you can’t talk with them about anything. It sounds frustrating feeling like you aren’t able to talk with anyone in your family. How long have you been feeling this way about your family? Does anyone in your family have any idea about how you feel? Have you ever tried to talk with them before, and if so did it help the situation at all? You mentioned that you have a boyfriend and some friends that seem to be a really big support for you. Do they know about your situation at home and that you are thinking of running away?

So if you did decide to leave your house how do you think your parents would react if you left without them knowing? Do you think they would get the police involved or make a runaway report? At 14 you would still be considered a minor and as your legal guardians your parents would have the right to make a police report. Do you have a safe place that you can go if you left? How long would you plan on staying away and how are you planning on surviving? It may sound like a lot of questions but sometimes it can help to think about every aspect in order to make a good decision. Do you think there is anything that could help make living at home easier? Do you think an option might be to see if there is a counselor that may be able to speak with all of you? Perhaps having someone there to mediate a conversation between you and your parents would help?

Just so you know there is someone here 24 hours a day to help. If you ever wanted to talk more about your situation you could always give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are a completely confidential hotline. If you just need to talk with someone, there is always someone here to listen. If you are looking for any kind of resources, whether it is counseling or shelter, we are able to find those as well. In the meantime stay safe and remember we are here 24/7 if there is anything you need.

[Guest]

Re: Hate this life of mine

Hi,
Yes its very frustrating because I can’t talk to any of my family. I’ve been feeling this way for a couple of months now. I can barely have a casual onversation with my parents, I don’t talk to them about this. My boyfriend and best friend know I want to run away, my boyfriend says running away just makes things worse because he doesn’t like his family is pretty bad too.. My best friend says I can go with her to France right after we graduate but I don’t think I can wait that long. I’m in 9th grade !

I don’t know what my parents would do. I barely know them anymore. They would definetly get the police involved they both work for the OPP. If I left I know I could go to a couple friends houses and my ex-boyfriend would help me. I plan on staying out as long as I can. To make things better at home.. nope there is nothing that comes to mind. I WISH I could see a counselor I want to talk to someone about this, but I don’t want to talk to my parents. I hate them!

[ccsmod5]

Re: Hate this life of mine

Thanks for following up with us.

Sounds like everything is too much and you're just ready to head out. You did, however, mention a few things that that might bring up some concerns:

"They would definetly get the police involved"
If this happened, that means that you will get listed as a runaway and there is a possibility that your photot might be entered to the police department. If you do get reported, there is a chance that the people you stay with can get into legal trouble.

"If I left I know I could go to a couple friends houses and my ex-boyfriend would help me."
How would that work and how long do you think you could stay with people? It's good to hear that you have places to go and people you can trust. But because you are a minor, people might feel differently about letting you stay there.

"I want to talk to someone about this, but I don’t want to talk to my parents."
Why can't you talk to someone else? You're still in school, right? Sounds like you might have access to a counselor at school. If not, would you be willing to go to a counselor outside of school? If you could work things out with your parents, would having a mediator be something that could help everyone communicate? Seems like that's something you want to do: have better communcation and be heard.

If this is something you'd like to do, please call us at 1800.RUNAWAY 24hrs a day. We can continue to brainstorm about things you can do for yourself and for your your relationship with your family. Because things won't get better if everyone isn't involved.

Best fo luck,
NRS

[Guest]

Re: Hate this life of mine

=(
I don’t want to get anyone in trouble, I just want to disappear before I kill myself! I have no idea how long I could stay with the people.. I’ll stay in a shelter or something, I’ll join a cult ! I don’t trust the afults I know because of the relationship with my parents! I Hate my school !!!! I don’t want to talk to my parents !!
I want to run away and I’m having suicide thoughts !!
You know any shelters in Ontario??

[ccsmod1]

Re: Hate this life of mine

Thanks for writing back. It definitely sounds like you’re in a pretty desperate situation.

You mentioned a few times that you’re having suicidal thoughts. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? How long have you been thinking about suicide? Do you have a plan for committing suicide? What do you expect death to be like? Suicide is definitely a very serious thing, so it’s good that you’re reaching out for help. There are a couple national suicide hotlines that you can call if you ever want to talk to someone in more depth about these thoughts and feelings. There’s 1-800-SUICIDE and 1-800-273-TALK. You can also always call 911 if you’re feeling like you need immediate assistance. Have you ever talked to anyone in your life about this before? Having someone you can talk to can be really beneficial. Know that there are people out there that care and want to help.

You also asked about finding a shelter. One thing to know about shelters is that by law, at some point they have to contact the youth’s guardian. The exception to this is if the youth says that there is abuse/neglect at home and that’s why they left. In this case, the shelter would contact the local Child Protective Services instead. We’re not sure if you’re in Ontario, CA or Ontario, Canada. If you’re in the US, here’s a link that you can go to that has a list of shelters all over the country: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/fysb/co ... locate.htm If you’re in Canada, we don’t actually have resources there. There’s another youth crisis hotline called Operation Go Home that can be reached at 1-800-668-4663. They also have a website: http://www.operationgohome.ca/.

We’re certainly here for you if you want to talk more in depth about all of this. We’re 100% confidential and someone is here 24/7.

[Guest]

Re: Hate this life of mine

I’ve never tried to commit suicide before because the only way I want to do it is to shoot myself. I believe in ghosts so that’s what I think death will be like.. and no one to yell at me or compare me to my sister..
I’m not abused, so at some point they have to call my parents? Then I’ll just move onto the next shelter. I live in Canada.. I wonder if its possible for me to some how get to the states.. I have a passport and student ID card but I don’t’t know if they will let a 14 year old girl pass by herself. I can’t call you guys because I’m worried about the call being on the bill.

[ccsmod2]

Re: Hate this life of mine

Thank you for continuing to share more of your situation with us. It sounds like you are in a pretty rough situation right now.

Since you are under the age of majority, which in most case is 18, the shelters are obligated to contact your parents. Some shelters do this immediately and some may allow you to stay a 1-2 nights before doing so.

Since we are a 1-800 number, you can call us from any payphone for free. Please remember that we are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and that we are completely confidential and anonymous. We hope to hear from you soon!

~NRS

[Guest]

Re: Hate this life of mine

Yes I am in a rough situation right now,..
My friend talked me out of suicide last night..
If i can I'll call from a pay phone..
I HATE my parents... and my siblings..

[ccsmod7]

Re: Hate this life of mine

We are sorry to here that you had such a tough night, but it’s good to know that you had a friend that you could lean on to help you out. We hope that you are able to call in at some point because it would probably be easier to discuss everything that is going on and see how we may be able to help. We hope to hear from you soon and hope you stay safe in the meantime.

[ccsmod3]

Re: Hate this life of mine

We're glad that you have been able to make use of our bulletin boards. However, we are not mental health professionals or counselors, and are bulletins not meant for ongoing communication or counseling. Should you like to further discuss your situation, as we have explained you are welcome to call our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY. There is also a hotline in Canada that may be able to offer local resources to you.

Kids Help Phone
1-800-668-6868
http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/en/home.asp

Best of luck!
-NRS

[Guest]

Re: Hate this life of mine

I'm a middle child too, so I know how it can be. Especially when you're 14, young and wild.
I'd suggest you find some other family to live with, or just some alternative. I felt the same way you do a couple years ago, and I went to live with my grandmother. I was there for no more than a month, but it just made it possible to collect my mind. She lived close enough to school so that I could live my daily life, just without my family, and perhaps you can do the same thing with a friend.

What concerns your hatred to school, I felt the same way too. But now I've discovered what I want with my life, and I actually regret not being more hard-working in the past. So, until you've made up your mind about your future, don't throw away school.

[ccsmod1]

Re: Hate this life of mine

Thanks for offering your perspective and personal experience. It's always nice to know there are others out there who not only care, but have also gone through similar things. It's great to hear that you've been able to learn from some of your mistakes. Remember, we're here if you ever want to talk about anything!