Tired of Mom and Parents treating me badly

[Unregistered]

My mom always had a temper and my dad does whatever to please her which also includes siding with her on everything and making everything based on what she wants. But skipping the drama history, tonight my mom got angry because of the slight tone I had in my voice when she stormed into the bathroom that I was in, to tell me of the second warning letter from my prestigious school about my math class I wasn't doing well in. Now I've always had A's and a couple of high B's in school and math was always my worst subject. So when I entered one the most prestigious high schools in the nation, math was the one I didn't do well in. Anyways, I have been trying my best to study everyday (even on weekends, sacrificing my entire social life to bring this class up) and go to tutorials(which took a lot of courage to do since I've never been). I still haven't been improving according to my grades, so of course I was extremely stressed and frustrated at myself asking "Why I wasn't improving", because by now, other kids would've shown a lot of improvement. So you can guess I had a little edge in my voice when she came storming into the restroom, asking why I wasn't working hard enough and why I had to make her drive to my school to meet the counsler with me because of my grades. Well she lost it and started screaming at me again and of course, the hitting as usual. But then she also got mad at my younger sister because when my mom asked her to put her ipod on the counter(we have to turn in our electronic devices to where she can see them. They're never allowed in the room), my sister also had a little edge in her voice because since my mom was already frustrated with me, she yelled asking her to turn in her ipod when it was in her plain sight. So my sister told her it was right there, my mom got even more angry and did something(I didn't see. Probably hit her too) and when I came out to see what was going on, I saw my sister's nose was bleeding heavily(the most blood I've ever seen in person). I mean the blood was dripping like crazy, heavy, fat drops of it all over her hands and onto the ground. I brought her a toilet paper roll and thought this was too far once again and was so angry at my mom but couldn't do anything back because that would make our lives worse. What was even worse was that she made us sit down again and yelled at us for making everything miserable. Like I don't know that since my birth she was never happy and never got anything she wanted because of me. Like I don't know. And no matter how many times she's hit me, I've never dared to hit back. And my mom hates it when I try to block myself from getting hurt. I really hated the way it happened tonight because no matter how many times or how many bruises we've received, that much bleeding was too far and it's not right. Also my mom doesn't know what giving space means I mean she'll go into my room every second of the day unitl I'm asleep(Literally. She won't go to her room until I'm asleep everyday.)even if it means after 2am. And she always tell me to apologize to her ALWAYS. For example today she asked me to apologize to her because I have to make her drive to see my school because of the class I'm not doing well in. That just pierced me for her to say that because I am and have been trying so hard and I've never told the cops or anyone about her and she wants an apology from me because she has to drive me to the school?? I'm once again so frustrated with everything right now: my grades, the way my parents have been treating us since we were young. It's abuse but they don't believe so. They think it will help us listen to what they have to say. I bet they never knew I was suicidal at one point or if they did, they never did anything about it. I would never kill myself or anyone for that matter. I've never told anyone this and I can't. I can't say who I am or where I am because of my status and their status. I guess I just need to let out SOME things I've never been able to say to anyone. (Also during the time I wrote this, she came into my room, I counted, 4 times.)

[ccsmod3]

Re: Tired of Mom and Parents treating me badly

Hello there,

We’re very glad you found us and felt comfortable sharing your situation on our forum. It sounds like you needed to vent which is understandable given everything you shared. We’re very sorry your mom has treated you the way she has and your dad does whatever he can to please your mom. It sounds like things at home are very tense at home and you wish you had more space. You also brought up an incident where your mom hit your sister and it sounds like there have been other times where she’s gotten physical resulting in bruises. We hope you realize neither you nor your sister deserve to be hit like that and do have the right to file an abuse report with Child Protective Services. If we know your city/state we can provide you with a local resource and there is also https://www.childhelp.org/. We realize making a report can be scary and we can help you do so if you reach out to us first.

It really sounds like you’ve got a large burden to bear right now. You mentioned you would never kill yourself; however, we’d still like to share some resources should you have thoughts of suicide at any point. We are here to listen and provide support to the best of our ability and there is also http://www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. We encourage you to try out our Live Chat which starts today at 4:30pm CST if you’d like to continue talking about your situation. Hopefully this helps and best of luck!