Is it okay to run away if you are being abused.

[Guest]

i have nothing wrong with my parents but its my brother. my parents are very strict if you tell them your nit feeling well or you want to run away they will call it non sence and yell at you. my bro that hits me almost everyday he punches me so hard i ass out he beats me with anything but i have to courge to tell anyone . i got ready to kill myself or run away multiple times but my baby brother is the reason im here today. i cant leave him YET when he gets older il leave but im stuck for now . i am being abused by my brother

[ccsmod8]

Hi,

Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline today. We are very sorry to hear that you are in such a scary and dangerous environment at home.You are very brave to contact us for help. You start your message by saying that there’s nothing wrong with your parents. If they aren’t aware of how your brother is abusing you, and if you feel safe talking to them, they might be a good place to start. It is their legal obligation, if you are a minor (generally under 18 ), to provide you with a safe place to live. This doesn’t sound safe.

If you are not comfortable talking with your parents there are several ways you might proceed. First, you can call us at NRS-our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Our lines are open 24/7. We can assist you in reporting this abuse by contacting child protective services, if this is what you want to do. You can also reach out, on your own, to Childhelp (National Child Abuse Reporting Hotline) at 1-800-422-4453 or on their website, www.childhelp.org. They work specifically with victims of abuse and can offer guidance. Finally, if you have a trusted adult in your life, they can help you in reporting this as well. If you contact a teacher or school counselor, they are mandated reporters and will, most likely need to contact the authorities if they know your address and names of your family members. Please know that you do not deserve to be treated this way…you deserve to feel safe and cared for in your home. Remember that if you ever feel threatened or unsafe, you can call 911.

You say that you have thought about killing yourself. We want you to know that we believe you are very special, and that your life has real value. We are here to talk anytime. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or go to their website, www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. They are very caring and trained to talk you through these feelings.

If you want to call us or visit us vis digital chat on our website, www.1800runaway.org, we can help you look for resources in your area. We can also discuss ways to help you stay safe. We care very much about you and your safety…please give us a call.

Take care,

NRS

[Guest]

is it legal for my friend to come live with me if she is in an abusive house at 14?

[ccsmod1]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS on the behalf of your friend. We are proud of you for taking initiative for a friend and this is a great first step. From what you mentioned, we are sorry to hear about the situation of your friend.

Abuse is unacceptable and no one should have to live through such a situation. One resource your friend can consider using is Childhelp. This is the national child abuse reporting hotline. Their number is 1-800-422-4453. We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if your friend does opt to leave her home, her parents can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor.

We have several resources at the National Runaway Safeline that may be helpful to your friend. Please provide them with our hotline number to talk to a trained crisis volunteer at 1-800-RUNAWAY. They can also reach out to us for more information on the chat or forum messaging options. Thank you for being a great friend and looking out for someone in need. We hope to hear from and help your friend soon!

Sincerely, NRS

[Guest]

I am 13. I feel that my father has anger issues. Just earlier our food order got canceled, I told him, hours later when he woke up he screamed at me, threw things, and slammed doors because I didn’t order food from anywhere else after the order being canceled. When he yells, he often makes it seem as it’s my fault, he passes out a lot blood pressure is high from yelling, and tells me if I wouldn’t have done this, or just would’ve done this, he wouldn’t be passing out and feeling weak, and that people only care about him when he is weak and hurting. I moved out of my moms home in November 2019 due to being a victim of gaslighting, etc. I never recalled my father treating me this way before he broke his back in May 2019. I moved back in with my mom in August 2020 due to the things I was experiencing at my dads home. In October I moved back in with my father because of the way my mom way treating me and her not leaving her physically abuse boyfriend, and only staying with him due to him having a vehicle. She finally left him about a month ago and moved in with her friend. I can’t live with her and it’s extremely hard for me to stay with my father, I’ve told him in times of distress that I need to find somewhere else to live, and he says if I leave I will never see him again and honestly I don’t really care if I ever see him again at this point. I stay in my rooms most time due to the feeling of not wanting to be around him, but he gets mad when I’m always in my room, or eat dinner in my room and not with him. Whenever I’m able to I try to go to my cousins house and I usually stay there for multiple days at a time and feel so much better when I’m there. When I come back home I feel okay but eventually he gets mad at me for whatever reason, says nobody cares about him, breaks some stuff, and then usually leaves. I want to leave so bad but I don’t even know what to do, I definitely don’t want to call any hotlines. I thought of the possibility of living with my grandmother but she is trying to move back to New Jersey soon. I also thought about possibly staying with my cousin, but I feel like I would be a burden, or there wouldn’t be enough room. I also could see about living with my aunt and uncle but they fight a lot and I don’t really want to be in that environment. My cousins also yell a lot but it doesn’t really bother me. I still don’t even know how I would leave, I’ve read you can leave if you have permission from both parents, but I don’t know if that true in my circumstance, if it is I will definitely make sure it’s on paper if I find a way to leave. But I don’t even know how to bring it up to my father or the person I would possibly be staying with. I don’t want them to have a bad point of view on my father, (all of the family members are on my moms side of the family), because if a child was asking to stay with me I would assume their situation is pretty bad. I feel like I would also feel embarrassed or start crying when trying to explain my situation to the person I’m talking to, I’m pretty positive that my aunt and uncle, and my cousins would be happy to welcome me into their home, but I just don’t know how to explain, ask, or even bring it up.

[ccsmod15]

You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your father. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) as we can only respond twice to a forum.
We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Is it okay for me to run away from home, even if I’m not being physically abused? My parents don’t put their hands on me (though my mom used to beat me with belts/wooden spoons when I was younger) but in exchange for that my mother has become very harsh and abusive in language. It is to the point where It has taken a very severe toll on my mental state, and I don’t feel very safe around myself, nor is there another trusted adult that I can go to. Currently I am 14, but I am unsure if I will be able to wait until 18 before I can leave the household. Is it still okay for me to run?

[ccsmod8]

Hey there,

We are glad you reached out for help. That can be hard to do and we appreciate that it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like your home life has been difficult for some time. There are more types of abuse than physical, verbal abuse can be just as hurtful. You don’t deserve to be talked to like that. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.

You mentioned that you don’t feel safe around yourself. That is a reasonable thought after being verbally abused by your mom. If you feel yourself struggling there are people that can help. You can call or chat with us (1-800-786-2929 or https://www.1800runaway.org/) or the National Suicide Safeline (800-273-8255). Your safety is our number one priority.

We are not legal experts, but running away is considered a status offense, which means you won’t be arrested. If the police find you they will take you back home. There might be shelters in your area, if you are interested in getting information about them, you can contact us through chat or phone call. If there is another family member or friend you can legally live there with your mom’s permission. If you would like some help having this conversation with your mom, we have a conference call service available. We could help mediate the conversation between you and your mom. Sometimes it can be helpful to have a 3rd person to make everyone feel heard.

Another option you have is to make an abuse report. You can do this through the police, or get help from us, or Child Help (https://www.childhelp.org/ or 1800-422-4453). Child Help can help explain the options you have and what are the possible outcomes.

Again, we want to thank you for asking for help. If you want to talk about your situation in a little more detail, or discuss the options mentioned here please chat or call us. We are here 24/7, here to listen, here to help.

Good luck!

[Guest]

My parents have been mentally abusing me since I 9 and im 12 now. I want to run away, but i have no idea how to.

[ccsmod3]

Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It sounds like you've had a tough time with your parents, and we're sorry to hear that.

Running away is a big step, and it's always a good idea to spend some time really thinking about what's going on at home, what options are available to you, and developing a plan if you decide to move forward with leaving home. It sounds like it might be helpful for you to talk with someone about what's going on at home and to help you think through some of your options. That's what we're here for. You can reach us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live on our website at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

We hope to hear from you soon.

NRS

[Guest]

Yes, I know I may be the youngest one to ever talk on here. I am a 8 year old boy. My parents have been emotionally abusing me and have been hitting me in the face to the point here it leaves a very big red mark, it also starts bleeding. My Mom and Dad have been doing this for 1 year now. I do not have anywhere to go, but I have thought about running away multiple times. I thought it would be better to contact you guys. It has also began to make me lose my emotions. Like happiness, sadness etc. Now please don't send anybody over, but please. Should I run away,or should I stay and bleed until I can't handle it anymore.

[ccsmod15]

Hi,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now, and you mentioned being harmed to the point of bleeding, and being emotionally abused. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA (1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org) is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Telling other family members, friends, and people at school about this may help you get the support you need.
If you are thinking about leaving home, it will be important to know where you are going, how you will get there and what you will do to survive once there. If you call us at any time, we can talk through the situation with you and ensure you will be safe.
You were so brave to reach out to us today. We wish you the best of luck. Stay safe and stay strong.
Sincerely, NRS

[Guest]

is it legal to run away from home at 16 if i'm being emotionally abused?

[ccsmod15]

We're so glad you reached out to NRS today. And first off, no one deserves to be emotionally abused. That is wrong. As for running away at 16, its not illegal - its just that at 16, you are considered a minor and your guardians have responsibility for taking care of you - providing food, housing, etc. If you run away, and your guardian calls the police, they will most likely return you to your parents. Other options include talking to a school counselor, talking to other family member adults, or ultimately, calling child protective services in your area to report on your guardians treatment of you. It takes courage to reach out. Please do not hesitate to text or call National Runaway Safeline at anytime as we're here 24/7. Thank you and good luck.

[Guest]

I am being abused by my grandma, I don't feel safe in the household im 11 can I run away I have some where to go. We're I'm actually safe

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

So I am 14 and ever since I was little my mom has physically/emotionally abused me, right now it's not much physical but emotional. She is homophobic too and knows I like girls (I'm a lesbian) so I feel that I'm not safe. I am in an online relationship with my girlfriend and she has offered to take me in. My mom doesn't know about her so she wouldn't know where I was. But I think I have a trauma bond with my mom cause I don't want to leave her but it's hurting me if i stay. And I don't want to leave all my things behind, like my computer, bed, books, etc. So I just don't know what to do.

[ccsmod0]

Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.



We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/



You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.



If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you. 

 

Stay Strong,

NRS

[Guest]

If my mom mentally abuses me and makes me feel awful about myself, can I run away? I’m 14 and live in nc. Is it illegal if I do? I know where to go. I’d be safer than I am here. And sometimes when she gets drunk, she hurts me. So i need to get out but cps won’t do anything about it. So is running away a good option for me?

[ccsmod13]

Thank you so much for reaching out to NRS through our forum. We appreciate you doing so and it takes a lot of bravery to reach out especially during these difficult times for you. First and foremost, you do not deserve to be treated in this way by your own mother. You should feel safe in your home and abuse of any kind is not okay. This is absolutely wrong and you should not have to deal with it on a daily basis.

If you feel that your mental health and safety would be better outside of living with your mother, then that is your choice to leave home. If you have reached out to a trusted family member or friend to stay with, that is great and it might be beneficial to stay with them and be away from your abuser. However, something to keep in mind is that your mother a.k.a. your guardian can file a runaway report on you with the local police which means that if they happen to find you, it is more than likely that they will bring you home. If you should decide to leave, an option to consider is going to the police and making a report of the abuse/neglect on the part of your mother, so that this acts as a “safety net” if she should file a runaway report on you and the police find you. This might act as a buffer not to bring you home to someone who abuses you. Another version of this option would be to contact Child Help, an organization that assists youth through the reporting process. You can contact them at childhelp.org or 1-800-422-4453.

If you have any further questions about what was mentioned above or would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to reach out to us directly at 1-(800)-RUNAWAY or (800) 786-2929. We are here to listen and to help to the best of our ability 24/7.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

My abusive stepmother abuses me and I'm a 9-year-old and she doesn't let me play video games or do anything on electronics I am deciding to run away and move to my friends's house I am very scared of her I got bruises to so that's why and I really love my father but he is just being used by her and I will never forget him he is the world to me. I love my father

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi.....I am 11 years old...I get physical and metal abuse...I have thought about running away and my friend agreed to have her mom take me in..but I know that her mom might go to jail and that the police will get involved...I have worked up enough confidence to now tell you this....what do I do?

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out, we are glad that you did. We are very sorry to hear that you are being physically and mentally abused at home. You do not deserve to be treated this way.
You are very brave to survive this and very brave to tell us about things that hurt. We are very glad the your friend and your friend's mom know what you are going through. An option to solve this is to ask her or someone else that you trust, to file an abuse report with your state's Child Protective Services. They are the ones to help in this situation because you don't deserve to be treated this way.
You can also reach out to us via this website and our live chat and we can help you file a report too. Whoever files, it will be anonymous, so your parents won't know who filed.
We hope this helps and we hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 12 years old. My mother has been physically abusing me since I was 6 when she was mad at me about something. It never left a mark but it hurt a lot and it was harder than regular spanking. I cried but she never stopped, she hit me with her hands hangers and books.
now it’s more emotional she tells me how I am stupid and useless and if I’m mean to my brother she says that it’s my own fault that I don’t have any friends at my new school.
my two close friends know what is going on and one of my friends says that I can run away and stay with her if I want. I’m wondering what to do because this is happening to my brother too.
please help

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. You can call us at 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at www.1800RUNAWAY.org.

Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help as we can only respond twice here.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi
i was the one who posted that I was 12 and being abused for 6 years now. Thanks for your reply but if I tell someone and they come to take me away my mom will beat me. Also I’m not sure the case is bad enough that I won’t be taken away and if I go back it will start again. I’m Asian and in our culture it is legal to beat children and emotionally abuse them.
I just want to run away and never look back but I’m not sure what to do. Should I tell a trusted adult?

[ccsmod8]

Hello,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). I’m sorry you’re experiencing abuse in any form, no one deserves that. We will help you in any way we can. This is a good first step reaching out and following-up.

If you feel like you’re in immediate danger, please call your local authorities 911. Understand if any harm, abuse or verbal threats are happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like you want to know more information about it before you report, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/ or call 800-422-4453. Here they would be able to help you understand the process of reporting abuse and learning what your options are.

Ultimately, you will have to determine if the case is bad in opinion. We understand in various cultures discipline can vary. Reaching out to a trusted adult can be helpful whether that is a relative, teacher and/ or neighbor.

I hope this helps you make an informed decision. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS