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Is it okay to run away if you are being abused.

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  • #31
    Is it okay to run away if I am being emotionally abused by my mom at 15 and go to Virginia and live with my boyfriend?

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.

      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

      You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.

      We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.

      Be safe,
      NRS

      Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • #32
    is it ok for a 13 year old who is being physically abused to stay with a friend?

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like your friend is quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry your friend is going through this. They don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If they are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage them to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. They may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell your friend more about how CPS could respond to their situation. If they ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      Often, having a safe space to share how they are feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. They are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      In regard to living elsewhere, while we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #33
    i am 17 years old i will be 18 in 8 months. i started living with my mom 2 months ago and she’s not my legal guardian and she doesn’t have custody of me legally. she verbally and mentally abuses me and i have recordings of her doing those things. the other day she told me to pack my stuff and leave and i did but she wouldn’t let me leave with a friend because she thinks i’ll be bouncing around from house to house. i have a stable place to go to. she’s threatening me all the time and she’s on probation and she physically abuses me and my 2 year old sister. i want to runway but i’m scared i’ll get into trouble and i’m trying to get emancipated but she says she’s going to send me to a boys and girls camp until i’m 18. i do not feel safe with her at all. she said she disowned me and that i’m dead to her. can i get in trouble for leaving even while i’m trying to get emancipated?

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

      If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.

      Best of luck!

  • #34
    So I’m 16 Nd I just ran away BC my mom hit me and chocked me Nd slapped me Nd I just pushed her away and left out the for and I just heard her say yea leave Nd my friend is providing me a place to stay at can I get in trouble with the police for running away when my mom hit me or can my friend get in trouble for letting me stay in a place to sleep

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. You deserve to feel safe and secure at home and your mom abusive actions are not acceptable. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are currently at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

      Your mom can potentially contact the police to file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home. If you were to disclose the abuse to the police they may potentially let you stay with your friend but would be mandated to contact Child Protective Services and file a report.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • #35
    my mom and dad both abused me and I'm a ten-year-old female this has been going on for 4 years and I want to commit suicide they have hit me slashed me with a belt and chocked me and made mini cuts on my hand with a knife I want to tell my peers but I don't want to ruin the look of my family so I suffer depesion and I have no friends in school and when I tell my parents they say I'm at fault that I have no friends plus help or else I will want to end my life here and now

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe and stay strong,
      NRS

  • #36
    I'm an an 11 year old and my mom and dad are so mean to me for example today when i brought food in my room which I wasn't allowed to do but I forgot he threaten to hit me but since i was in a zoom meeting he didn't do anything. and then once he is in not so mad mood he will act like nothing happens and what should I do I always feel like running away. and i feel like he has changed

    Comment


    • ccsmod4
      ccsmod4 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

      It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything.
      We understand how difficult it must have been to speak about what you have been going through.
      You are very brave for doing so. Good for you.
      NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.
      Let us know how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).
      NRS is here to listen and here to help.
      Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #37
    I'm being emotionally abused constantly, I’m always threatened and my guardian tries to control me. I want to run to a family member’s house and file a police report on the house I’m running from. Will they make me come back if I tell them I don’t feel safe or will they let me stay with my non abusive family?
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 10-15-2020, 01:32 AM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod4
      ccsmod4 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

      If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

      Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
      Take care,
      NRS

  • #38
    I am 14 years old and my dad beats me hard, yells at me and DOes it infront of my siblings and beats me up and i feel like i am not apart of this family and cry myself to sleetp

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #39
    if my mom is abusive is it ok to run to my gf house

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are currently at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • #40
    im 14 and i get mentally abused everyday by my grandparents and my mom and my dad yells at me basically telling me im going to do horrible in life and the only safe place is with my boyfriend but he lives in a different state.... if i do runaway and stay with him what could happen to me? and what if the cops get called and send me back to my abusive family?

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We are sorry to hear that your grandparents and mom and dad are yelling at you all the time. You do not deserve to be treated that way. That must be really hurtful and overwhelming. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. It is great to hear that your boyfriend is supportive and makes you feel safe when things are difficult, however running without talking to your parents could get him or his family into trouble.

      It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like running away is what you want to do since you are having a difficult time living at home with what you are experiencing with your family. If you need any additional resources or support on what you might do, please do not hesitate to call NRS directly at 1-800-786-2929 or visit ://www.1800runaway.org/#. We are here 24/7 to take calls and chats. We can best support you on calls and chats when we have more specific information about your situation.

      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      Be safe,

      NRS

  • #41
    i am 12 and my stepdad is emotionally as well as physically abusive towards me and has touched me in sexual ways. my mom does not care for this, and no one around me cares to help and i'm ready to run away to another state to my friend and i'm worried how will they handle me? like will they still be able to take me to the doctor, how will i go to school, etc?can they take custody of me?

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there. Thanks for connecting with us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, but we're glad you did.

      We're so sorry to hear that your stepdad has been emotionally, physically and sexually abusing you. That must be incredibly difficult for you, as well as frustrating because of your mom's response. You do not deserve to be treated that way. When young people are being abused, they can file an abuse report with their local Child Protective Services (CPS). A caseworker will learn more about your specific circumstances to ensure that you're safe. It sounds like this might be a good option for you, and if it's something that you'd like to do, it can be done in a couple of ways. One way would be for you to call your local CPS agency and file a report by yourself. You can find their contact information by doing a quick Google search and typing in your city/state along with CPS agency. Another way for you to file a report is through an adult you trust, like a teacher, doctor, or therapist. They are all considered mandated reporters and when abuse is disclosed to them or suspected, they are obligated to file an abuse report. One additional way would be to call us here at NRS. We'll learn more about what's going on and can file a report with you or for you. Whichever you're most comfortable with.

      In terms of you being ready to runaway...this is something that can be tricky because laws regarding runaways vary from state to state. Generally speaking, if whomever you're staying with doesn't have custody or legal guardianship of you, doctor appointments and getting you enrolled into a school would be difficult. If these are concerns for you, it might be a good idea to move forward with filing a report with CPS as these are things that would be figured out for you.

      Please feel free to reach back out to us if you have any additional questions, want to chat things over in more detail, or would like assistance in filing an abuse report with CPS. We're available 24/7 through our hotline (1-800-RUNAWAY) and live chat (www.1800runaway.org).

      Hang in there.

      NRS
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