Is it okay to run away if you are being abused.

[Guest]

My dad hits me and most of the time in my eyes I didn’t do anything wrong, today there were to packets and my dad told me to get the one I put away from earlier so I went and got it and it was the wrong packet but both lock similar and than he got mad and yelled at me and started swearing, but I found the other packet that he wanted in the fridge, they both looked similar and I was confused and the one he wanted was hidden under something so it was hard for me to find then my dad threw something at me then he punched me in my leg which hurt and he went away but 3 minutes later he came back and grabbed my hair and yelled at me ;( I didn’t do anything wrong my dad almost always does this 3-4 times a month one time it was so severe he gave me a black eye and my mom yelled at my dad because my mom goes to work at 2 and comes at 1 in the night so she isn’t around when he hits me. But after a while he started hitting me again , I want to run away I don’t have the courage to tell anyone else because I’m Asian and 13 year old boy in our culture hitting is discipline but I know that if any other Asian parents saw it, they would also feel bad for me. Once I’m 18 I will leave this god damn house I wish I had better dad, God put me with such sbusive parents or dad.
thank you for reading my story, and sorry for making this long

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like home has been really stressful for you because of your dad. It is not okay that he escalates to physical violence and hurts you. You deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel safe and happy. We truly want to be a support for you during this challenging time. We are here to listen and help 24/7 by phone and chat services (800-786-2929).

Having a safe space to talk about tough things at home can help you feel better and brainstorm options that you had not thought of previously. Perhaps you can find support with a school counselor, another family member, or a friend.

You do have the option to report the situation at home. Making a report would mean getting a social worker involved. This can be a scary decision to make and you do not have to go through it alone. The national child abuse hotline is available to help you with this process and talk with you more about what is going on with your dad (800-422-4453 ; childhelphotline.org).

We can best be of help by phone and chat and we want to help you brainstorm your next steps. You can reach out anytime and we are available to listen.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm not physically abused, but I believe I am emotionally. My parents allow my siblings to hit me, and if I act in self defense, just a little shove to get them away, I am yelled and screamed at, and my parents will threaten to hit me. I am sometimes denied access to the bathroom, but that is about it in that category. Some times are good with my family, but most aren't and I'm afraid if I report them, they will threaten me and scream more, maybe even physically attack me, which has been a real possibility lately. I get cursed at and I have no chance to explain myself before my parents storm out and send me to my room without letting me explain my side of the story. My siblings will have emotional outbursts at me, and blaming me for things. My parents believe them over me without a second thought. They say they can't trust me because I lie too much, but they don't even let me get my side of the story, which is where I believe they got me "lying" from. At this point I am stuck in an endless loop, My siblings blame me for something, I get yelled at and I can't get my side of the story out, which means next time I get blamed, I am the "liar" and get yelled at once again. I would like to run away, but at this point I think if I was caught, I would have the same problems as mentioned above, but much much worse. I don't really have anyone to talk too besides teachers, but I get too anxious to actually talk to them, as I am already a shy person in general. Once again nothing is physical and there isn't many physical signs besides the denial of bathroom rights, but I always manage to go in the end so there isn't much proof, and I am afraid that nothing would come out of me reporting them to the CPS or a teacher. I don't have any safe places besides school and even then, school is too stressful for me. I have very conflicted feelings for my parents, because a lot of the time they can be really nice and help me out, but about 80% of the time, they don't have any attention for me, only my siblings, and will threaten me and scream at me a lot, and this is why I am afraid that nothing will happen if I report them. Sorry for the long rant.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Absolutely no need to apologize for a long post - we're here to listen! Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

It seems like your parents aren't fully understanding or open to you when you are trying to relay your thoughts and feelings about your current situation. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker (if you feel ready to open up to one), trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your parents so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself. Since you feel that you are a shy person and that speaking up is hard you can think about writing a letter to your parents explaining your side of what's been going on and how their actions make you feel. Sometimes just the act of writing it out and expressing yourself can be helpful.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

i am abused by my family they hit me and call me names a lot school used to be safe but it is getting worse . I am 11 . I plan on running away on Halloween because it is getting to hard

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear.
You don’t deserve to be abused by anyone. It is not your fault that this is happening.
Your safety is important and though we understand the need for change running away may only change your surroundings. It may not put you in a safer environment if you don’t have a safe place to be. Sometimes talking to someone about a situation may bring about some other options to explore.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

my 17 year old friends has many family problems and he cannot take it anymore, his dad has punched him and has tried to pin him down. his dad smokes marijuana in the house around a autistic kid who is 6 and the other one who is 5. my friend wants to leave he does not want to stay there, his dad just came back to his life he lived with his grandma all his life, then he had to go to his dad, then his dad kicked him out and he again left to be with his grandma but a couple days after he kicked him out his father called the police and said that the grandma kidnapped him. my friend does not want to be with his father, it’s causing him to much stress and depression. he can no longer take it anymore. is there anything he can do?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what's been going on. It sounds like your friend is having a really hard time and it's great that you are able to advocate for and support him throughout all this. Your friend doesn't deserve to be treated like this and it is alarming to hear that there are children in the household who require special care who may not be getting it. His dad and grandma's actions can be considered abuse and neglect and he does have the right to report it if he so chooses. He (or you) can learn more about the reporting process by going to childhelp.org. He can also call us directly and we can walk him through reporting or file a report for him.

Of course, it may be beneficial for him to contact us directly so we can further explore the situation and explore options that might be available to him. He can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us by clicking on the "CHAT" button on the top of our homepage.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 16 and I’m a runaway from an abusive dad. He’s abused me my whole life and I’ve tried to tell the police and my guidance counselors at school but all they did was called my dad and he denied it all even though I had bruises and cuts and they dropped everything. I’ve been a runaway for a few months but I’m getting tired of hiding. I’ve also talked to my dad since I’ve been gone and told him where I was and he refused to take me off the runaway list even though I was with my grandmother. He also told me he didn’t want me to come home. What do I do?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things have been rough between you and your dad for awhile now. It’s good to hear that you’ve reached out to the police and guidance counselors about your situation at home as well. You don’t deserve to be treated that way by your father. You deserve to be treated with respect and understanding by him, and honesty when you’re telling the truth.

If you’d like to talk to someone further about your situation at home, you can always call us, or you can call Child Help, which is the national child abuse hotline, at 1-800-422-4453. It sounds like you have proof of physical abuse from your dad. You can submit an abuse report if you haven’t done so already, which would get CPS involved and they could do a home visit and talk to you about what’s been going on. If you’ve already done this and have talked to a case worker before, you can call them and ask them about what happened and why they decided to drop the case.

We’re not legal experts, but parents in custody of their children are legally obligated to take care of their children until they are no longer minors. But if you feel safer at your grandmother’s house than your father’s house, it may be best to live there if you can. Another option could be a transitional living program, which could provide you with safe living accommodations for up to 21 months. If you give us a call we can look for programs like this in your current city and state.

Again, thank you so much for reaching out to us. It takes a lot of strength and courage to ask for help, and it’s good to see that you’re thinking through your options and what’s going to work best for you. We’re always here to talk or chat 24/7.

-NRS

[Guest]

I just turned 15... My mom is pretty bad. She hits me and then gets mad which causes her to hit me even more. Every time there is an attack I am slapped across the face at least twice. She also curses me out and calls me things like a lying b*tch. When ever I forget a small thing she always puts it down on me saying that I think like a child. I can´t take this emotional and physical abuse. I´m thinking about running away... I´ve done some research and it´s not illegal unless I stay at a place for more than 24 hours. Should I tell the police? What should I do?

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You absolutely don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Is it okay to run away from home if you are 15 and being abused physically and emotionally?

I’m 15 to and I want to but I don’t no either

[Guest]

I am being abused and I am thinking about running away, my step mom grabs me by the throat and slams me against the wall and hits me with various things, I am tired of it and she calls me things that nobody should ever be called. What pushed me over the edge this time is she told me that it will be better when I’m gone

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thanks for taking the time to write us here at NRS. It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household are not supportive. Abuse does get overwhelming and it can be tough to cope with on your own. Abuse of any kind is never okay and not your fault. Home is supposed to be somewhere safe and you deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel cared for. Doing your own research while thinking about the decision to leave is really responsible and resourceful!

Generally speaking, your parents are your legal guardians until you turn 18, so they can decide where you live. If you do choose to leave without permission, your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means that if your parents know where you are staying then they can have the police return you home.

The easiest way to leave home as a minor is with your parents’ permission. In this case, they would be allowing you to live somewhere else where you are safe and being cared for. A helpful step is to start reaching out to friends and family members you might be able to stay with. Sometimes having an adult advocate on your side can make communicating your needs more effective to your parents. Perhaps an adult family member, a friend's parent or a counselor at school can talk to your parents with you about your experience at home and the possibility of you leaving.

Child Help is an organization that advocates for young people in abusive and unhealthy situations. You can contact them at 1-800-422-4453 or go to childhelphotline.org to talk more about strategies for dealing with abuse and what making an abuse report would look like for you. They can also be another resource to add to your support system while you navigate this challenging time.


We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

[Guest]

im 15 and i have two younger siblings. my mom verbally abuses me and threatens me all the time. she has threatened my little sister but won’t threaten my brother. she had kicked me out twice before and cussed me out calling me useless. i want out of here and i have a friend who i can stay with i’m just afraid that if i need to leave that she will hurt my sister or call the cops on me. i don’t have any other options i don’t know what i have to do. please help me.

[ccsmod3]

Hello and thank you for sharing your story on our form. We are very sorry to hear your mom verbally abuses and threatens you all the time. You do not deserve to be treated that way and you have a right to feel safe at home. One resource that might be helpful to you is ChildHelp, a National Child Abuse Helpline. https://www.childhelp.org/

In terms of running away, it sounds like you are seriously considering leaving home to stay with a friend. At the same time, you mentioned you are afraid that she will hurt your sister or call the cops should you leave. Those are understandable fears and while we are not here to tell you to whether to run away or not, we recognize that the decision to run away can be complicated.

We would be happy to talk to your more about your situation including discussing possible options and hopefully come up with a plan together. If you’d like to continue talking online, we welcome you to try out our Live Chat so we can have a one-on-one conversation here: https://na0messaging.icarol.com/Cons...d=254&cc=en-US.

We hope that helps and wish you the best of luck!

-NRS

[Guest]

Can I run away if I’m 14 and my dad is mentally abuses me and can I run away to a friends house

[ccsmod8]

Hello there -

Thank you for reaching out to us, we understand it takes great courage to talk about what’s going on. It sounds like things have been difficult at home and that you have been working to make changes in your life. No one deserves to be treated that way at all. Just know that you always have the right to report any abuse (physical, mental, sexual, or neglect/abandonment) to child protective service in your state. You have rights too.

We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home.

However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway.

One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. If you want help contacting the police or would like to talk further about your options, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

If you want to talk further you can always reach out to us here at any time.

[Guest]

My mom emotionally abuses me by calling me a loser and some other stuff, but in the past my mom has been filed with a report of abuse she has pinched me hit me and even kicked me and my little esister , and that left some extremely painful bruses, I have ran away in the past and I ran all the way across town to my dad's house after my mom said she was gonna shave off all my hair and beat me with a wooden spoon the cops came over and took pictures of the marks but then they came over to my mom's house the next day to talk about the incident, I haven't decided if I should runaway again because it's considered a state offense in the state of wyoming, I don't enjoy talking with my step dad and I feel like it would better to live with my dad, it's kind of stupid that I didn't get to choose who I live with. But I need some advice if I should runaway or not, my mom gets mad over the littlest things, but yes sometimes I give my step dad some attitude because on the inside yes he's a child. my mom is mad at me that I have attitude to my step dad, and I believe that she's gonna come home yell at me and then slap me in the face after that I will be mad at her and runaway, I don't know how to handle a situation like that can I please have help

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. We aren't legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, running away is a status offense which means you would just be brought back home.

You mentioned things about your mom hitting and kicking and it raises quite a bit of concern for your well being. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

It may be beneficial to speak with your dad directly about your desire to live with him. Sometimes custody transfers will need to go through the family court system and it may be beneficial to speak with a legal advocate. If you need help locating a legal aid group near you you can check out https://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Stay safe,
NRS