Is it okay to run away if you are being abused.

[Guest]

My dad hits me and most of the time in my eyes I didn’t do anything wrong, today there were to packets and my dad told me to get the one I put away from earlier so I went and got it and it was the wrong packet but both lock similar and than he got mad and yelled at me and started swearing, but I found the other packet that he wanted in the fridge, they both looked similar and I was confused and the one he wanted was hidden under something so it was hard for me to find then my dad threw something at me then he punched me in my leg which hurt and he went away but 3 minutes later he came back and grabbed my hair and yelled at me ;( I didn’t do anything wrong my dad almost always does this 3-4 times a month one time it was so severe he gave me a black eye and my mom yelled at my dad because my mom goes to work at 2 and comes at 1 in the night so she isn’t around when he hits me. But after a while he started hitting me again , I want to run away I don’t have the courage to tell anyone else because I’m Asian and 13 year old boy in our culture hitting is discipline but I know that if any other Asian parents saw it, they would also feel bad for me. Once I’m 18 I will leave this god damn house I wish I had better dad, God put me with such sbusive parents or dad.
thank you for reading my story, and sorry for making this long

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like home has been really stressful for you because of your dad. It is not okay that he escalates to physical violence and hurts you. You deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel safe and happy. We truly want to be a support for you during this challenging time. We are here to listen and help 24/7 by phone and chat services (800-786-2929).

Having a safe space to talk about tough things at home can help you feel better and brainstorm options that you had not thought of previously. Perhaps you can find support with a school counselor, another family member, or a friend.

You do have the option to report the situation at home. Making a report would mean getting a social worker involved. This can be a scary decision to make and you do not have to go through it alone. The national child abuse hotline is available to help you with this process and talk with you more about what is going on with your dad (800-422-4453 ; childhelphotline.org).

We can best be of help by phone and chat and we want to help you brainstorm your next steps. You can reach out anytime and we are available to listen.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm not physically abused, but I believe I am emotionally. My parents allow my siblings to hit me, and if I act in self defense, just a little shove to get them away, I am yelled and screamed at, and my parents will threaten to hit me. I am sometimes denied access to the bathroom, but that is about it in that category. Some times are good with my family, but most aren't and I'm afraid if I report them, they will threaten me and scream more, maybe even physically attack me, which has been a real possibility lately. I get cursed at and I have no chance to explain myself before my parents storm out and send me to my room without letting me explain my side of the story. My siblings will have emotional outbursts at me, and blaming me for things. My parents believe them over me without a second thought. They say they can't trust me because I lie too much, but they don't even let me get my side of the story, which is where I believe they got me "lying" from. At this point I am stuck in an endless loop, My siblings blame me for something, I get yelled at and I can't get my side of the story out, which means next time I get blamed, I am the "liar" and get yelled at once again. I would like to run away, but at this point I think if I was caught, I would have the same problems as mentioned above, but much much worse. I don't really have anyone to talk too besides teachers, but I get too anxious to actually talk to them, as I am already a shy person in general. Once again nothing is physical and there isn't many physical signs besides the denial of bathroom rights, but I always manage to go in the end so there isn't much proof, and I am afraid that nothing would come out of me reporting them to the CPS or a teacher. I don't have any safe places besides school and even then, school is too stressful for me. I have very conflicted feelings for my parents, because a lot of the time they can be really nice and help me out, but about 80% of the time, they don't have any attention for me, only my siblings, and will threaten me and scream at me a lot, and this is why I am afraid that nothing will happen if I report them. Sorry for the long rant.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Absolutely no need to apologize for a long post - we're here to listen! Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

It seems like your parents aren't fully understanding or open to you when you are trying to relay your thoughts and feelings about your current situation. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker (if you feel ready to open up to one), trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your parents so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself. Since you feel that you are a shy person and that speaking up is hard you can think about writing a letter to your parents explaining your side of what's been going on and how their actions make you feel. Sometimes just the act of writing it out and expressing yourself can be helpful.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

i am abused by my family they hit me and call me names a lot school used to be safe but it is getting worse . I am 11 . I plan on running away on Halloween because it is getting to hard

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear.
You don’t deserve to be abused by anyone. It is not your fault that this is happening.
Your safety is important and though we understand the need for change running away may only change your surroundings. It may not put you in a safer environment if you don’t have a safe place to be. Sometimes talking to someone about a situation may bring about some other options to explore.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

my 17 year old friends has many family problems and he cannot take it anymore, his dad has punched him and has tried to pin him down. his dad smokes marijuana in the house around a autistic kid who is 6 and the other one who is 5. my friend wants to leave he does not want to stay there, his dad just came back to his life he lived with his grandma all his life, then he had to go to his dad, then his dad kicked him out and he again left to be with his grandma but a couple days after he kicked him out his father called the police and said that the grandma kidnapped him. my friend does not want to be with his father, it’s causing him to much stress and depression. he can no longer take it anymore. is there anything he can do?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what's been going on. It sounds like your friend is having a really hard time and it's great that you are able to advocate for and support him throughout all this. Your friend doesn't deserve to be treated like this and it is alarming to hear that there are children in the household who require special care who may not be getting it. His dad and grandma's actions can be considered abuse and neglect and he does have the right to report it if he so chooses. He (or you) can learn more about the reporting process by going to childhelp.org. He can also call us directly and we can walk him through reporting or file a report for him.

Of course, it may be beneficial for him to contact us directly so we can further explore the situation and explore options that might be available to him. He can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us by clicking on the "CHAT" button on the top of our homepage.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 16 and I’m a runaway from an abusive dad. He’s abused me my whole life and I’ve tried to tell the police and my guidance counselors at school but all they did was called my dad and he denied it all even though I had bruises and cuts and they dropped everything. I’ve been a runaway for a few months but I’m getting tired of hiding. I’ve also talked to my dad since I’ve been gone and told him where I was and he refused to take me off the runaway list even though I was with my grandmother. He also told me he didn’t want me to come home. What do I do?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things have been rough between you and your dad for awhile now. It’s good to hear that you’ve reached out to the police and guidance counselors about your situation at home as well. You don’t deserve to be treated that way by your father. You deserve to be treated with respect and understanding by him, and honesty when you’re telling the truth.

If you’d like to talk to someone further about your situation at home, you can always call us, or you can call Child Help, which is the national child abuse hotline, at 1-800-422-4453. It sounds like you have proof of physical abuse from your dad. You can submit an abuse report if you haven’t done so already, which would get CPS involved and they could do a home visit and talk to you about what’s been going on. If you’ve already done this and have talked to a case worker before, you can call them and ask them about what happened and why they decided to drop the case.

We’re not legal experts, but parents in custody of their children are legally obligated to take care of their children until they are no longer minors. But if you feel safer at your grandmother’s house than your father’s house, it may be best to live there if you can. Another option could be a transitional living program, which could provide you with safe living accommodations for up to 21 months. If you give us a call we can look for programs like this in your current city and state.

Again, thank you so much for reaching out to us. It takes a lot of strength and courage to ask for help, and it’s good to see that you’re thinking through your options and what’s going to work best for you. We’re always here to talk or chat 24/7.

-NRS

[Guest]

I just turned 15... My mom is pretty bad. She hits me and then gets mad which causes her to hit me even more. Every time there is an attack I am slapped across the face at least twice. She also curses me out and calls me things like a lying b*tch. When ever I forget a small thing she always puts it down on me saying that I think like a child. I can´t take this emotional and physical abuse. I´m thinking about running away... I´ve done some research and it´s not illegal unless I stay at a place for more than 24 hours. Should I tell the police? What should I do?

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You absolutely don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS