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Hi. I'm a 17 year old girl and have 6 more months until I turn 18. But ever since I was 8 my mom has been beating me and emotionally abusing me. Every time we get into a fight she sees the need to throw demeaning slurs and hurl insults at me. It’s gotten to the point to where she hits me and throws things at me at home. She’s done far worse to my brother to the point where she punches him and scratches him and kicks him and throws glass cups and plates at him. She’s done this multiple times to him and to me. Just recently last night she had gotten so mad at me to where she was throwing things at me, trying to punch me and hit me. I have never tried to fight back but I have tried to put my arms up in self defense. But she got mad at that and pulled my arms down and threw me against a wall and punched me, scratched at my chest then proceeded to throw me onto the ground and throw things at me, kick me and scratch at me. I have multiple scratches and cuts on my legs arms and chest, one on my neck and two bruises on my shoulder/collarbone area as well as my arm and knee. My dad just stood there and watched while she beat me and this has been one of the multiple times where I have been left bleeding and bruised and no one had helped me.
My boyfriend who is in college right now offered to call 911 to my house last night but I asked him not to due to me being fearful of the results afterwords.
She told me she had the right to hurt me and she could do it again and I have no right to defend myself because she’s my mom. My father told me that she could do whatever she wants to me and I am not allowed to do anything and that this is all my fault, that I have to sit there and take the beating and the emotional stress.
I also suffer from clinical depression and about a year and a half ago I had an unsuccessful suicide attempt due to 911 being called to my house. She knows I suffer from depression and am still struggling with suicidal thoughts. But she has told my father multiple times when she takes her anger out on me that she does not care if I kill myself and that I could go to hell and die on the streets. I also have been self harming since the age of 12 and she has said I can keep going and she hopes that they get infected so I can die. She has not tried to help me in any way despite being thrown into therapy and the multiple panic attacks I have had at home. She gets mad when I cry or start hyperventilating after a panic attack and slaps me and tells me to shut up and stop as well as call me other demeaning terms to hurt me emotionally.
Besides the physical harm she emotionally abuses me as well calling me names, blaming everything on me, taking out her anger on me, all the signs of emotional abuse. Now I know this is usually not what you call CPS about but because of this I have been in fear of myself going over the edge one day to commit another suicide attempt or harm myself to the point of hospitalization. Which I have, she has said many things that have driven me to the point to nearly swallowing a bottle of pills or slashing my wrists in a bathtub, but my little brother, who is too young to ever go through and see any of this, has stopped me on multiple occasions. I have been left hyperventilating on the floor shaking and bleeding with no form of help except for my brother who has tried to stand up for me and help me.
She has threatened to kill me herself and constantly tries to deprive me at home of food or water when she gets mad and my father seems to do nothing. She has taken away my phone in times like this so that I don’t call anyone and last time she found out that I tried to reach out to someone for help after she has physically harmed me she got mad at me and hurt me more, depriving me of food and water and any access to anyone and said I was an awful person for seeking help.
I want to call CPS on my mom because for the past 2 years I have not felt safe in my own home. But she said if I do call them I won’t be able to go to my private school anymore or be able to go to the college I want to go to starting the fall of 2017. I fear I wont be able to finish my senior year of high school at my current school if I call CPS on her and I fear that I won’t be able
to go to my preferred college.
I’m not sure what to do because I am almost an adult in 6 months and won’t have to deal with any of this anymore, so I am not sure if I should keep undergoing this torture or if I should call CPS. What I am most concerned about is my ability to keep going to the same school I am going to as well as the college I am going to in the Fall of 2017.
Please help
My boyfriend who is in college right now offered to call 911 to my house last night but I asked him not to due to me being fearful of the results afterwords.
She told me she had the right to hurt me and she could do it again and I have no right to defend myself because she’s my mom. My father told me that she could do whatever she wants to me and I am not allowed to do anything and that this is all my fault, that I have to sit there and take the beating and the emotional stress.
I also suffer from clinical depression and about a year and a half ago I had an unsuccessful suicide attempt due to 911 being called to my house. She knows I suffer from depression and am still struggling with suicidal thoughts. But she has told my father multiple times when she takes her anger out on me that she does not care if I kill myself and that I could go to hell and die on the streets. I also have been self harming since the age of 12 and she has said I can keep going and she hopes that they get infected so I can die. She has not tried to help me in any way despite being thrown into therapy and the multiple panic attacks I have had at home. She gets mad when I cry or start hyperventilating after a panic attack and slaps me and tells me to shut up and stop as well as call me other demeaning terms to hurt me emotionally.
Besides the physical harm she emotionally abuses me as well calling me names, blaming everything on me, taking out her anger on me, all the signs of emotional abuse. Now I know this is usually not what you call CPS about but because of this I have been in fear of myself going over the edge one day to commit another suicide attempt or harm myself to the point of hospitalization. Which I have, she has said many things that have driven me to the point to nearly swallowing a bottle of pills or slashing my wrists in a bathtub, but my little brother, who is too young to ever go through and see any of this, has stopped me on multiple occasions. I have been left hyperventilating on the floor shaking and bleeding with no form of help except for my brother who has tried to stand up for me and help me.
She has threatened to kill me herself and constantly tries to deprive me at home of food or water when she gets mad and my father seems to do nothing. She has taken away my phone in times like this so that I don’t call anyone and last time she found out that I tried to reach out to someone for help after she has physically harmed me she got mad at me and hurt me more, depriving me of food and water and any access to anyone and said I was an awful person for seeking help.
I want to call CPS on my mom because for the past 2 years I have not felt safe in my own home. But she said if I do call them I won’t be able to go to my private school anymore or be able to go to the college I want to go to starting the fall of 2017. I fear I wont be able to finish my senior year of high school at my current school if I call CPS on her and I fear that I won’t be able
to go to my preferred college.
I’m not sure what to do because I am almost an adult in 6 months and won’t have to deal with any of this anymore, so I am not sure if I should keep undergoing this torture or if I should call CPS. What I am most concerned about is my ability to keep going to the same school I am going to as well as the college I am going to in the Fall of 2017.
Please help
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