Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

A struggling decision..

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • A struggling decision..

    Hello, I need advice to what I should do. I go to college, first year (starting up a new major YAY...my parents finally let me switch majors) I have a part time job to pay for tuition, and I live with my parents...I want to move out.

    The pros about living at home is having a home cooked meal and being with my siblings and dog (they sometimes cheer me up). The cons is I have to be babied around and I can't go anywhere. I didn't grow up with my parents they kind of gave me away to my aunt and grandparents then 5 or 6 years later just suddenly decided to take me back. I was heartbroken and that is when I started becoming severely depressed.

    Couple months ago (June to be exact) I told my current boyfriend about me being suicidal two years ago and I started to get the thoughts again. I couldn't connect with my parents and it's hard to talk to them. They became controlling and treats me like a child (note that I am 19 turning 20). While I envy my friends on social media on how they are having much fun late nights. I have to be at bed by 9:30 earlier if I'm not studying. I just wanted the freedom.

    July is when I got worse. It got to the point when my boyfriend called the cops and transferred me to a behavioral center. When my parents took me home they were glad I was ok but then I was lectured to how I'm weak and there are more people that have problems way worse than I have. Couple weeks later after the behavioral center I decided to go to counseling because of my boyfriend constantly nagging me to go. I went to a counseling center that our university provided. i was diagnosed with bipolar and generalized anxiety disorder. Because of my constant episodes I had a hard time at home because I acted weird around my family whenever I have an episode.

    Later on I was getting worse, I wanted to get medication. So I finally asked my parents for help through writing a letter to them. My dad's first response was "what are we supposed to feel sorry for you?" and I shouldn't write something and straight up tell them. They don't know hard it was writing that letter imagine me actually speaking. I usually just agree and say nothing to my parents because everytime I get into an argument with them they always win. My parents think that this bipolar is all in my head that I'm doing the symptoms the doctor described to me. I mean how stupid is that I went to the doctors because of the symptoms. I asked for help and no help was given.

    They have been to controlling in my life and I get no privacy. They made me stop going to therapy and made me break up with my boyfriend because they blamed me being a mess on him. I told them I broke up with him but never did because he didn't do anything to hurt me. In my point of view I feel like they would look for something or someone to blame my problems that I give to them. They say that they love me but honestly I feel no love and the constant judging of how I look like a donkey or pig when I eat or I look like a witch when I don't brush my hair in the morning or how I walk so stupid. Even to this day they comment all of that stuff about me. I can't go anywhere because I don't have a car or my license, they wont teach me nor let me get it. They don't trust me because I've lied to them because they were too controlling and I couldn't handle it. They won't let me go out unless its Christian people and girls.

    My plan was to slowly take my stuff to my boyfriends place. Each day I bring clothes or any necessities to work and school. Then when I have it all done I will send them a text when I'm at school explaining why I move out. My boyfriend and I have plans to get my SS card and passport and he will teach me to drive.

  • #2
    Re: A struggling decision..

    Hello,

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It is very brave of you to open up to us about your very difficult situation and share so much of your story. It seems like living at home has caused you a lot of emotional distress so you are considering moving out and moving in with your boyfriend.

    We’re not legal experts, but generally the legal age to leave home without your parents' permission varies from state-to-state and in most states you would be considered an adult at your age. You could find this information out by giving us a call here at (800) RUNAWAY and we can make a call out to your local law enforcement, or you can call them directly to just ask hypothetical questions.

    It sounds like your boyfriend is really supportive of you which is good to hear. It is important to have support during difficult situations. It sounds like you have a plan arranged with him which is great. Sometimes it can be good to develop a plan b or back up plan, to be prepared if something changes within the situation. Sometimes back up plans would include a friend's or relative's home you would feel safe staying with. Or, alternatively, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you have no place to stay you could give us a call and we could help you find a shelter.

    You also mentioned that you've been experiencing troubles with your mental health lately. We take mental health very seriously at the National Runaway Safeline and recognize how stressful it must be having them not acknowledged by your parents. We are sorry to hear your parents aren't supportive of you wanting to get the medical help you deserve. If you want, you could give us a call and we could help you find less expensive resources in your area that you might be able to get by yourself. You could also call us, the National Suicide Hotline (1-800-273-TALK), or SAMHSA (1-877-726-4727) if you ever need someone to talk to or provide you with any mental health resources.
    Once again, thank you for reaching out to us. We wish you good luck and encourage you to call or chat with us if you would like to talk further.

    Best,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Comment

    Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
    Auto-Saved
    x
    Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
    x
    or Allowed Filetypes: jpg, jpeg, png, gif
    x
    x
    Working...
    X