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  • I don't feel safe anymore.

    Hello. I've been comsidering running away for about five or sixth months. My parents have been fighting for my whole life, but it's been getting worse after I came out to them as transgender. I don't think that they are transphobic, but I'm quite worried that this may be the case. Recently, the fights have been getting more and more violent, and I've been worrying that eventually, myself or one of them will get seriously injured. I don't have enough courage to talk to an actual person about this. I'm starting to feel very unsafe around my parents, and I stay in my room constantly to avoid them. My mother has also invaded my privacy by forcing me to keep my door open and unlocked, even while I'm changing, and she also goes through my things. Do you think that these reasons are enough to want to leave, even though I haven't been physically hurt in any way yet? If so, where could I go? Thank you.

  • #2
    Re: I don't feel safe anymore.

    Hi there,

    We are glad you reached out to us, it sounds like you are in a stressful situation. It takes a lot of courage to come out to parents, and it sounds like your parents aren’t reacting in a safe way. You don’t deserve to feel scared or unsafe at home, and we are here to support you. If you ever feel like you are in a dangerous situation we would encourage you to call 911 to get immediate help. We are non-directive, and here to support you in whatever decision you decide is best for you. It sounds like you try to avoid your parents when they get into these violent fights and that is a good step to take for your safety. If you think your parents would be okay with letting you live somewhere else, you could consider reaching out to friends or other family members, and there are youth shelters available. While we are not legal experts, if your parents don’t give you permission they could file a runaway report. Running away is a status offence meaning it is illegal to do because of your age but you cannot be arrested or charged. However whoever you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway which is a misdemeanor offence. It can be a tough decision deciding to leave or not and there are a lot of things to consider. One resource we would like to give you that will be able to support you with what’s going on at home is the Trans Lifeline at 1-877-565-8860, a hotline ran by transgender people for transgender people. Another good resource to reach out to is Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453, a hotline that can support and answer any questions you may have about child abuse. We are also available 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY where you can remain confidential.

    Best,
    ~NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I don't feel safe anymore.

      My parents have been fighting a lot and I'm going to leave, for a t least a little while. Is it better to leave a note and stay away for two weeks, or is it better to leave forever? They haven't been abusive, I just don't feel safe with them, at least for now. Thank you!

      Comment


      • #4
        re: I don't feel safe anymore

        Hi there,

        Thanks for sharing and contacting us. We're sorry to hear that your family is going through troubles. We are non directive here at NRS, so we won't be able to tell you how long that you should stay away for. We can't give you advice on how to run away and whether or not you should. You may want to consider the consequences of running away and what that might mean. There's always the chance you could be made to go back home, or you may be out there with no place to live. If you are in a crisis and you are in need of help you can reach out to us via calling or chat.

        Take care,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          I'm scared use the men's restroom

          I was born a female but I'm a boy. I always use the girls bathroom because everyone thinks I'm a girl. I wish I could go to the men's bathroom since I identify as male but I'm scared I'll get yelled at or hurt. I don't know what to do...

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I don't feel safe anymore.

            Hello,
            It sounds like you identify as a male but everyone around you thinks that you are a female. We are sorry to hear that you think that the people around you might succumb to violence or verbal threats when they find you using the men’s bathroom. We cannot imagine how confusing and isolating all of this must be for you. We want you to know that there is tons of support out there for you and if you ever need to talk to someone more specifically about Trans issues feel free to give Trans Lifeline a call 1-877-565-8860. Their hotline is staffed by the true experts on transgender experience, transgender people themselves. You can also call us to talk more about how to deal with what is going on. 1-800-RUNAWAY
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi im a 14 year old transgender. my mom harrases me and beats me on a daily basis. I have nowhere to go. What do I do? Help!

              Comment


              • #8
                Hello,

                We’re glad you found us online and felt comfortable reaching out for help on our forum. We want you to know we are not here to judge you and give you credit for sharing you are transgender. We are incredibly sorry your mom harasses and beats you on a daily basis. You do not deserve to be treated this way, especially not by your parent.
                Please know we are here to listen and offer support to the best of our ability. A few other resources which offer LGBTQ and Trans support include The Trevor Project, http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ and Trans Lifeline, https://www.translifeline.org/.

                It sounds like you are trying to figure out a way to leave home and aren’t sure where to go. You do have a right to make an abuse report. While we recognize that can sound scary, we are also here to help you through the reporting process. There is also Child Help USA https://www.childhelp.org/ which helps children and youth experiencing abuse. We can also look up local resources such as emergency shelters for runaway and homeless youth if we know your city/state.

                Feel free to reach out to us directly to continue talking about your situation and possible options. Our Live Chat is typically open in the later afternoon through evening and our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY is available 24/7. We hope you are able to stay as safe as possible while you work things out. Best of luck!

                -NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment

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