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  • Stepmom issues

    My mom recently died from a heart attack in november. I happen to be the one who found her during her death. I am emotionally scarred for witnessing my mother's death and for being the one calling 911 and giving her CPR. I then moved in with my sister because I'm not that close to my father and I really don't like him. As a child he always yelled at me for the littlest thing and he made it so that I cried for every little thing. I have finally gotten over that though my little brother hasn't. I'm afraid he's permantly damaged and can't get over his crying. But then I got kicked out of my sister's house because she said I was a bad example for her son and my brother. I ran away to my friends house but they found me on my way there. So I was forced to come back with my dad and meet my soon-to-be stepmom. They're getting married in May and I'm hoping you can help me. She's mean... Awful. She thinks she's funny when she picks at me but it just makes me feel worse. Like, I have a fear of clowns and she knows it. So when the circus rolld into town, she wanted to get one of the clowns to come home with them when they came back. She's always saying little things about me. And now that my brother lives with me again, she's mean to him too. Which makes him cry more! I hate it! I just want... I just want to get out of here and leave all this behind. I had to get rid of my precious lab puppy because my dad and stepmom were afraid she'd hurt their stupid chihauhaus. And all this picking at me doesn't help my other issues either. In school, there's a boy I've known since 2nd grade. In fact, I had a huge crush on him in 2nd grade. Well after I moved away, I pushed him to the back of my mind. 6th grade comes and I see him again. I dont feel anything. Years later, he texts me randomly and asks me out. I say no but then he talked me into it. We broke up after a week. Well ever since then, he's been saying stuff like "I liked you even back in elementary school" "I always think about you" "I'm not over you" when he says that, I tell him just find another girl. To explain that, he's had several different girlfriends and most of them... aren't the most appropriate girls. And I'm the complete opposite of that. I have no clue why he would like me. And when I tell him to find someone else he replies, "But I only want you." I laugh at that. And he's always pressuring me to kiss him. And he smokes weed. Even though I know I shouldn't, I like him. Sometimes I even think I love him. Which is rediculous. I know, think, that he's just trying to get {with me}. He denies it when I tell him he's full of it. And then over the summer, my now ex-best friend betrayed me. Treated me like trash. So I've got trust issues. And then more recently, my also now ex-best friend, treats me like I don't exsist and i have no clue what I did to her. I don't know what I did to the one before either but she wasn't the best friend in the world. I've been getting nasty texts about me from the ex-best freind B. I had to add her to my block list to stop them. I've always acted like nothing bothered me much and I bottle everything up. I didn't even cry that much in November. And now it's just too much! With my stepmom picking on me and yelling at me every second of the day, did I mention I overheard her telling my dad to send me to a bording school across the country, for bad kids? Which I am not. The worst thing I've ever done was skip a 25 minute class. And then my ex pressuring me and feeding me these lines that make me feel so... special. And my friends betraying me every which way. I want out! I just want everything to go away. I want to get out of here but my dad will call the cops. What should I do?

  • #2
    Re: Stepmom issues

    Thank you for posting a bulletin on the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you have a lot of changes happening in your life. We are deeply sorry to hear about your mom passing away and that it was hard on you emotionally. Do you feel that it would be helpful to talk to someone (like family member (s), friend (s), teacher (s) or counselor)? Grief is the normal response of sorrow, emotion, and confusion that comes from losing someone or something important to you. It is understandable that you would feel emotionally scarred from your mother passing away. Grief is a typical reaction to death, a move away from friends and family, loss of a best friend or a relationship break up. It sounds like you had also experience the loss of trust in an ex best friend, and with not being able to keep your dog. We empathize with you and glad that you were able to reach out to us. If you would like you can view some websites that are directly related to losing a love one:

    The Compassionate Friends http://www.compassionatefriends.org
    Fernside http://www.fernside.org
    RENEW: Center for Personal Recovery http://www.renew.net

    It sounds like home has been difficult when your dad would be yelling at you. You had mention that he would yell at you as a child; does he still yell at you? It is understandable that you would feel concerned about your brother’s emotional safety. Have you considered telling anyone about this (like your sister, friend, relative, teacher or counselor)? No one deserves to be yelled at and everyone has the right to feel safe (both emotionally and physically) especially in their own home. You had also brought up that your “soon-to-be stepmom picks on you. We are sorry to hear that you are being treated like this at home. Do you feel comfortable talking to her about how it makes you feel or talking to someone else about it? It sounds like home has been tough and not very supportive. Do you feel that it would be something that you would want to make a report to Child Protective Services? The purpose of Child Protective Services (CPS) is to identify, treat, and reduce child abuse and or neglect, as well as to ensure that reasonable efforts are made to protect and maintain children in their own homes. Anyone can make a report with CPS of any abuse and/or neglect on your behalf. You can also call on your own behalf to make a report or just to ask general questions. The calls can be made anonymous, so that your confidentiality is maintained. CPS will take the information and determine what their next step will be. You can call Child Help USA at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) or view their website at: http://www.childhelp.org/. We do not determine what is or is not abuse here though.

    It sounds like you have considered running away, and that you had tried to run away before to your friend’s house. If you were to runaway, where you would go? How long would survive? You said that your dad will call the police if you do leave. Your dad can file the runaway report if you left without his permission. The report is entered into a national database (the NCIC), so that all police in the United States will have access to the report. Your dad also can charge the adult that you are staying with harboring a runaway if the person did not notify the police or your dad of you staying with them. Also in some states there is a law for contributing to a minor delinquency, which means that if an adult, had assisted you runaway financially, with transportation, food, etc. It can be a federal offense to help a runaway youth cross state lines. Do you feel your dad would give permission for you to stay with a friend, family member or a youth shelter?

    It sounds like you also have relationship concerns about how you feel about a boy. It can be confusing to be receiving random text messages from him. Have you talked to him about how you feel or text message him back? Or asking what he likes about you? We are sorry to that you had been getting nasty text messages from your ex best friend, but we are glad that you were able to block the number.

    It seems like you have a lot that you are dealing with and that can seem very overwhelming. We want to let you know that we are here for you, if you would like someone to talk to. We are a 24/7 non-judging, anonymous and confidential crisis line. We can help process through situation, discuss option in more detail, provide local resources/referrals and help in making conference calls to other services or agencies. Our number is 1-800RUNAWAY (786-2929). You are welcome to call at any time you feel comfortable and we look forward in hear from you! Take care!

    ~NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Stepmom issues

      Thanks for replying. And yes my dad still yells at me, my soon-to-be step mom is just picking on me and makes me feel really bad about myself but I don't think it's worth reporting.
      My dad would definetly not give my permission to go somewhere. Even if my counselor suggested it. And I tell almost everything to my sister, though my dad and soon-to-be step mom are trying to get in my head that she's a bad person. And now people at school are being so nasty to me I'm afraid to go to school. I used to love school, being able to get away from home and see my friends and all. But now I'm playing hooky or skipping.
      I've asked the boy why he likes me and he says 'cus ur kewl, funny, and hott' are his exact words. Though, he's txting me less and less. And now, since the last time i posted, I've been feeling like there's a black cloud over my head. Like the world hates me and I'm a bad person. That the world would be better off without me. But I haven't taken action on those thoughts. And now I have to worry about the only best friend I'm sure will never betray me. She's fallen down her basement stairs and hurt her knee real bad. It was already kind of messed up but now she's got to have surgery. So that's piled up on my plate too.
      My counselor told me I shouldn't have all this on my mind, my mom's death, seperation from my sister, betrayal of my friends, losing my dog, my friend's surgery, depression, school, boys, and adolesence. Not to mention going through puberty. I wish it would all go away.
      It's gotten so bad that I've been keeping a packed bag under my bed just in case.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Stepmom issues

        Hello,

        Thank you for reaching out to us again at the National Runaway Switchboard. We are proud of you for sticking up for yourself even when it is difficult and although there seems to be some hard times ahead, you are at least facing the reality of it. It sounds like you have given lot of thought to planning when you have a bag already packed under your bed. What have you packed and are you able to survive off of what you packed? How long do you plan to stay away if you did leave and where would you go? There is so much you have gone through and want to see change. It sounds like you want everything to fall into place and deserve for that to come to pass. Have you given any thought to reaching out to teachers to figure out other ways to deal with what you are going through? How are you coping with all that is happening?

        Since you organized the events in your life in a manner that seems to suggest the urgency of dealing with each of them or even the nature to each as it relates to the other, we imagine that you are reading off your thoughts and see why it is crucial for you to seek help outside your home. It sounds like you truly care a great deal for your counselors ideas and you are willing to go at it in ways that makes sense to you. Do you see any value to working closely with your counselor as an alternative to leaving? You sound very straight forward in the ways you look at the issues and we feel that you can benefit a great deal from calling us. Have you thought about calling our 1800RUNAWAY hotline number for support? One of the few things are can do for you is try to assess whether you have made the right choice although we cannot tell you what to do. We can see if your plan is a safe one and also provide you with a listening ear. We can listen and offer options. We wish to hear from you and we are available 24 hours a day to speak to you and try to help prioritize your goals and how you intend to tackle them. We wish you all the you and please know that you deserve better. Good luck.

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Stepmom issues

          I've packed a few changes of clothes, toiletries, a book, a small box of my mom's things, and a sock full of money. I regret that I couldn't go anywhere without getting someone else into trouble so if they'll let me, I guess I can buy a greyhound ticket and leave that way. And also, I do care about what my counselor says, and now I've talked to my school counselor. They both say I'll need antidepressants. My brother's history with those make me scared to do that. But if I could get to Missouri, I could stay with my brother. And he's coming down soon so he might take me back with him. He'd let me stay with him cus he really does not like my dad and he and my sister moved out when they were 16. She moved then he moved in with her. And he could protect me, and I have proof of that since my past baby sitter had to move to keep my brother from killing her husband cus my brother found out that he had... molested me. I'm pretty much over that little detail, though I'm too nervous to kiss anyone now. And though he may not completely be able to financially support me, I'm about old enough to get a job and maybe he could because you get paid to be in the army, right? And actually I don't think I'm coping well at all. I've actually been crying more and not at all been able to sleep. Or, when I do, I'll sleep literally for 16 or 17 hours. For example, 11 Pm or 12 Am to 6 or 7 PM.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Stepmom issues

            We’re glad you have been able to reach out to us at the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you have been through a lot in your life. We’re sorry to hear that in addition to your grief with your mom and everything else that you were also molested by your babysitter’s husband. Have you talked to anyone about that? One resource might be RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest, Nat’l. Network.) Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE. They also have a website, http://www.rainn.org. You mentioned not coping so well with everything by sleeping irregularly and crying more. It sounds like you have also been able to reach out to your counselor and school counselor; are they aware of all this?

            We are not in a position to tell you what to do or not to do. Instead we are here to be supportive and try and help with options. We have explained already some generalities when it comes to running away. At this point it sounds like think you may be able to stay with your brother. Do you think your dad will agree to that? We have already mentioned what usually happens when it comes to the law in these kinds of situations. Do you think your brother is willing to risk that if your dad does not give you permission? You also mentioned the army; is there a chance that your brother will get deployed and will no longer be there even if you go stay with him? Now that we have been able to converse through our message boards, do you feel comfortable calling our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY? We would be happy to continue discussing your situation and your plan with you. Remember, we are confidential and can be reached anytime of day or night. In the mean time, we hope you are able to stay safe and wish you the best of luck!

            -NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment

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