I'm conflicted about my mother. Help

[Guest]

I don't know what to do with/ about my mom anymore. It's just me and her and it has always been this way. She spanked me growing up but I was taught that it was strictly for discipline. Now I wish she'd go back to hitting me instead of what she does now. She yells at me, cusses me out, threatens to "beat me the ******** up" (as she sent me today in a text message when i asked her to stop yelling at me) and it hurts. I feel like the verbal abuse hurts a lot more than hits because eventually the pain from the hits goes away, but the verbal crap? That all stays with me, it prints into my mind and I hate it. She recently asked me if she's ever neglected me when trying to talk about my mental health; she is asking the wrong questions. More like is my mental health ok? No it isnt, it hurts how one day she is my best friend and we can have the best times ever, but that can change in literally less than 5 minutes. Then she turns into this raging chaotic person that I've grown to hate, she cusses at me, she doesn't want to listen to me when i plead with her to hear my side of stories. One time i was on a date at the cheesecake factory and she kept texting me these awful things because something i did pissed her off- so i asked her to stop because she was ruining my date. She is so cynical, she got mad and started telling me how she wanted me to go home at that very instant regardless of me being on a date. ???? I dont want to live with her anymore because our fights get brutal and since she can never be wrong, i always lose and she ends up not listening to anything i have to say for hours- sometimes days. I obviously love her but her anger gets the worst of her and ive told her me and her, or possibly just her, need to go to therapy to help us get through this, or therapy for her alone for her anger, then she tells me to just not piss her off. Sometimes the most irrelevant things piss her off so i dont really know what do to.

[ccsmod13]

Thanks for taking the time to write us here at NRS. It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household are not supportive. Emotional abuse does get overwhelming and it can be tough to cope with on your own. Abuse of any kind is never okay and not your fault.Suggesting therapy to your mom was a really mature and smart idea!

Sometimes having an adult advocate on your side can make communicating your needs more effective to your parents. Perhaps an adult family member, a friend's parent or a counselor at school can talk to your mom with you about your experience at home.

Child Help is an organization that advocates for young people in abusive and unhealthy situations. You can contact them at 1-800-422-4453 or go to childhelphotline.org to talk more about strategies for coping with the emotional abuse at home and options for having a trusted adult intervene to help. They can also be another resource to add to your support system while you navigate this challenging time.

Because you mentioned that you have been struggling with your mental health, we want to make sure you are getting the support that you need. There is a crisis text-line you can contact to be connected with a counselor. If you feel like you need someone to talk to at anytime you can text “NAMI” to 741741.

We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

We wish you the best,
NRS