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I’m 18 and my mom won’t let me leave

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  • I’m 18 and my mom won’t let me leave

    So after I talked to my mom about me working at disney world in florida (also i live in north carolina (for a college program, which i get housing, etc. and it’s only for about 3-6 months) she was furious saying “you BETTER get that idea OUT OF YOUR HEAD.” and she went on a rant, basically saying I’m not going there. My mother isn’t abusive she loves me but she’s really controlling.. she won’t let me go out with friends (and no my friends aren’t bad examples that isn’t the problem, my mom knows them and even likes them for that matter) she always asks “who are you talking to?” “what are you watching?” etc.. she does love me but like I said she’s controlling and I kinda just don’t know what to do. Okay sorry back to the disney program lol. So if I get accepted Into the disney program, I kinda just don’t know what to do because my mom literally said I’m not going but I’m 18 so by law I technically can go, so if I get accepted should I just go ahead and pack a bag and when my parents aren’t there I should take my chance and leave?

  • #2
    Hi there,

    Thank you for taking the time to write us here at NRS and for a sharing a bit about your situation at home. It sounds like your mom's continued level of control and limitations on you has been causing quite a bit of stress. It can definitely be frustrating when you are legally an adult and ready to start making your own decisions, but parents don't treat you like a responsible young adult.

    First of all, congratulations on this opportunity! The good news is that because you are 18, you do have the legal freedom to leave your parents' house and choose where you live. If you feel like this program is something you want to do and that would be beneficial for you, your parent cannot necessarily force you to stay at home. Having a thorough plan of what you would like to do might be a good idea so that you know what might be realistic for you and what might not be. Taking a few things into consideration for your overall plan, can help you in your decision: what are the advantages of going to this program, how will leaving affect your relationship with your mom, what will home be like when you get back, what will you do if your mom kicks you out of the house or cuts you off financially, etc. This sounds like an amazing opportunity to take advantage of but we want to make sure you are thinking through possible consequences and that you will be as safe as possible with whatever decision you decide to make.

    You are the expert on your situation and you will know better than anyone what the right decision for you is. It might be worth it to try to have one more conversation with your mom about this program and why it is such an awesome opportunity for you. Sometimes having a neutral third party to advocate on you behalf can make communication more productive. We offer a conference call service where we can mediate this conversation between you and your mom to make sure your needs are being heard. A family member or school counselor that you trust can also be a great mediator and advocate for you as you navigate this challenging situation.

    We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

    Good luck,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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