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I don't know what to do..

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  • I don't know what to do..

    I really don't, me and my friend are both thinking of running away.. its our parents (my dad and both of her parents.. My parents are divorced(but that is NOT why i think the way i do))

    i dont know exactly what she goes through, but we both have talked about it, and tried working things out.. it only helped a bit.

    Questions that this site asked me to answer before i ran away:

    What else can I do to improve my home situation before I leave?
    I acctually have tried many approaches... some of which include; getting better grades, staying out of trouble, talking to my dad about the issues, and seeking counciler advice. They all have failed so far...

    What would make me stay at home?
    I would gladly stay home, i love it here.. the only thing is that i don't want to do to the fact that my father always says what i do is wrong.. if maybe he trusted me and he listened to what i said, or even told me i did a good job.. i may just feel good enough to stay.

    How will I survive?
    My friend and I are going to save enough money and are going to plan our escape. from there we just need to go to a warm place.. get jobs (if we can).. and just try to make a living.

    Is running away safe?
    Well, seeing as a hell of alot of children do end up running away, i doubt that a teen would be unsafe

    Who can I count on to help me?
    of corse my friend, and my cousin who will be helping me keep in touch for when my dad decides to change.

    Am I being realistic?
    Of course, We are planning even as i type this

    Have I given this enough thought?
    I believe i have, but.. i may be overthinking this a bit.. i'm just trying to get away from home.

    What are my other options?
    i was hoping to get some suggestions...

    If I end up in trouble, who will I call?
    depends on the trouble, my friend for minor things, and my cousin or my uncle for the major ones

    When I return home, what will happen?
    My dad would be happy, angry, and kinda like he needs someone to hit (me or a sibling). I may also be mistreated again..

  • #2
    Re: I don't know what to do..

    Thanks for posting on our bulletin boards. It certainly sounds like you have been giving running away a lot of thought. It’s always important to really think through the decision of running away before acting, so it’s great that you and your friend are doing so! Just so you know, our role here is not to tell youth not to runaway. But it’s also not to help youth runaway. We just want to be a safe place where you can express your feelings, fears, concerns, questions, etc. We also want to help you really think about options before making any decision.

    We’re glad to see that you found the 10 questions to ask yourself before running away. These are just a guide to help you reflect on what you want to see happen, what might happen if you runaway and what might happen if you have to return home. Because you seem to really be thinking through a plan for leaving and surviving and it sounds like, from what you wrote, you feel that you will be safe, we want to let you know a little bit about possible things you might encounter if you make the decision to leave.

    Anytime a minor (someone under 1 leaves without their parents’ permission, they could be considered a runaway. The youth’s parents can call the police as soon as the youth leaves and file a runaway report. This report goes into a national database called the NCIC. This is something that all law enforcement agencies across the US have access to. Once a report is filed, it depends on the individual police department what the next steps will be. Some will leave it at that, take the report and tell the parents that if they happen to come across the youth, they will return him/her home. Some police departments may actively search for runaways by talking to friends, checking records, etc. No matter what approach the police department s take, if the runaway youth is picked up for any reason in any state, the runaway report will show up in the police database. If the youth is caught close to home, most likely they would bring the youth home. They may place the youth in juvenile detention for the night, but generally the consequences for running are returning the youth home. If the youth is found out of state, most often the police place the youth in juvenile detention or a local shelter until the parents can be contacted and arrange for transportation for the youth to return home. One thing that’s important to know about “consequences”, is that although there are not usually a lot of legal repercussions to running, there could be depending on the state. Some states have habitual runaway laws, which means after leaving so many times, there are consequences (court, community service, etc). This all depends on the area that the youth leaves from.

    One other thing to know about is youth shelters. There are shelters for runaway and homeless youth all across the USA. The main thing to know about these shelters is that they, by law, have to contact a youth’s legal guardians within a certain time frame. The longest they can wait is 72 hours, however some shelters need to do it immediately or some will wait 24 hours. Again, depends on the shelter. For a fairly comprehensive list of shelters throughout the US, here’s a great link with such info: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/fysb/co ... locate.htm The only exception to calling a youth’s parents, would be if the youth said that they didn’t feel safe at home, were being abused or neglected. In this case, the shelter would then contact Child Protective Services instead.

    One thing you mentioned wanting to know your other options. When it comes to leaving home, there aren’t a lot of legal options. The three main ones are 1) Get your parent’s permission to live elsewhere 2) Be removed from the home by Child Protective Services because of abuse/neglect. This would involve contacting CPS and them doing an investigation. 3) Get emancipated. Not every state has emancipation as an option. The ones that do generally require that the youth be able to financially support themselves. It’s a court process, one that isn’t an instant solution. But if a youth is granted emancipation, they gain most of the legal rights as an adult.

    The last thing we wanted to touch on is the last thing you wrote. “I may also be mistreated again”. What exactly do you mean by this? If you’re referring to being hurt by your father, know that you have the right to call Child Protective Services if you don’t feel safe at home. If this is something you’d consider doing, know we can help you with it. If you were to call our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY, and talk to one of our crisis liners about what was going on. We could talk to you more about this option and if you decided to, we could three-way a call with you and CPS.

    Even if you’re not interested in calling CPS (or don’t need to), we’re always here for you and your friend. If you want to talk to someone more in depth about your plans, different options or even just about how you’re feeling about everything, someone is always here. We 100% confidential and anonymous. If you decide to leave, keep our number handy. You could call us for free from any payphone. If you need a safe place to go, we could help you find one. If you wanted to leave your parents a message with us, we could take one and deliver it to them. If you run and decide you’re ready to go back, we have a Home Free program that can help you reunite with your family.

    Just remember that even if you’re not interested in any of the specific services we offer, we are absolutely here to just talk to you! In the meantime, stay safe.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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