I want to move back to my mom, but my dad won't let me :(

[Unregistered]

Hello,
I lived with my mom for my whole life up until about a year ago. I will be turning 16 in December. I have been struggling with Anxiety and Depression and my dad and step-mom has never been supportive or helpful. There is so much emotional neglect/abuse involved in that home. My dad comes up with excuses for why I can't move back. (My mom had gotten laid off and was just not doing so well) she recently got a job! She has been the one who has been here for me and supportive through my journey with living with anxiety and depression. My boyfriend just recently passed away and he went to Aberdeen high school, which is the school I would've went to if I hadn't moved with my dad. Besides the fact that it isn't very healthy and helpful for me emotionally living in that home, being surrounded by all the people who care and love my boyfriend and being able to share memories and such to make the days go by a little easier will help me with the grieving process. In my current school, nobody knew him, so they can't help me feel better like talking about funny memories and such. Plus, all my friends go to Aberdeen, so I don't really know anyone here. My dad is not very sensitive and tells me that "death is just a part of life" and "we have to deal with it" like yes, it is a part of life, but, that was my first love, so it's even more harder to just "deal with it" please help me!

[ccsmod15]

Re: I want to move back to my mom, but my dad won't let me

Hello there,

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear about the loss of your boyfriend and the difficult time you are having while living with your dad and step-mom. It sounds like you have identified some things that you think will help you cope right now, such as living with your mom and finding people to share memories of your boyfriend with, and want to explore your options.

We don’t know if you have been able to talk directly to your father about how you are currently feeling, but it may be helpful to start by letting him know that you feel like you need additional help with the grieving process and that you would like to be reunited with your friends at Aberdeen High School. If your dad has legal guardianship and living with your mom is not an option right now, maybe it would be possible to work an agreement out for visits with her and your friends. If you want to call or chat with us to tell us more about your current situation, we can also help you try to find some additional resources, such as counseling referrals, to help making staying at home more tolerable if you thought that might be possible.

Again, it is great that you reached out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now and it is great that you are reaching out for help and trying to explore your options. If you would like to talk more about your situation directly, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us.

Take care,

[Unregistered]

I have tried talking to my mom, currently have visitation with my mom and friends and am also currently going to counseling. My dad just won't budge. I haven't gone into a detailed conversation about the whole grieving process being easier with going to Aberdeen and such, in which I should. I just don't know how to start that out and stuff. I've been thinking about suicide so much lately because of what has happened and just wanting to be with my boyfriend again. I don't want to runaway because the cops can get involved and if they brought me back home I would be in loads of trouble. I would "runaway" to my moms house though. Thank you for responding

[ccsmod0]

Re: I want to move back to my mom, but my dad won't let me

Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. You have been so brave through this whole process of losing a loved one and then asking for help when you noticed that you having issues grieving. We know that you said that you have tried talking to your dad but he will not budge, this sounds really defeating. We want you to know that we support you and want to help you the best we can. If you would like we can conference call with you and your father about the issues that you are having adjusting and how you would like to go back to Aberdeen. We would be on to act as a mediator, not to take anyone’s side but just to make sure that everyone’s concerns are heard. If you do not feel comfortable with that then maybe you can have your counselor talk to him with you.
Again we are sorry to hear of the loss of your boyfriend and you are not alone. Since you mentioned that you have been thinking about suicide a lot lately we wanted to provide you with the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255. They can help direct you towards support and or services for your needs. In the meantime, we hope that you can give us a call directly to get some emotional support. 1-800-RUNAWAY