14 year old wants to run away

[Guest]

I was 11 when I found out I was a Lesbian and I came out a little over months ago, my parents told me that they were supportive but ever since I came out they would exclude me from things, and make me feel like crap I am constantly verbally abused by both my parents and they have everyone in their pocket, if I try to open up to ANYONE my parents will find out and they will lie through there teeth, it doesn't matter if it's to my friends, or to the police themselves, I know it may be a stupid reason to run away but I honestly can't take this for much longer, I am living with my parents but I feel like I'm living alone and I hate knowing every day I wake up no one knows I'm truly there, the friends I have I wouldn't really consider my friends they ignore I'm there too and is left to just follow behind and be there own personal slave (and that's their words not mine) the friends I have on discord arent really real I was that alone I made like 5 different discord accounts. My siblings get away with EVERYTHING my sister would say homophobic slurs in my ear and when I would do what my parents told me to do back when I was 9 which was to stand up for myself I would be the one to get in trouble because they didn't hear my sister say anything.

I have nowhere to run to, with no money, though I'm thinking about starting a smut commission because I heard some people will pay you for writing that kind of stuff, I dont really have any talent so, so what do I do, I cant run to a family member because then my parents will find out and my grandparents would back them up til the day they die, and I'm just really lost atm, I tried to commit suicide but it failed, parents didn't give a ******** and I just want to go, I want to be by myself forever

[ccsmod7]

Hey,

Thank you for your post. We appreciate you reaching out and sharing. You have painted a vivid picture about your living situation and it sounds like a very difficult environment to be in. You deserve to feel supported and safe, both physically and emotionally. From your post, it is apparent you are very brave to come out to your family and mature to recognize what is wrong and seek help. We want to help, but recognize it may be difficult as each situation varies. We can better explore options in either an online chat or over the phone (1-800-786-2929). We are anonymous and confidential and available 24/7.
I want to make sure we do not gloss over your last statement. It is terrible to hear that your home and social life has shown you none of the care and support you deserve, and this caused you to attempt suicide. Your mental health is incredibly important, and you should never shy away from seeking help. If you find yourself in another dark place and are considering committing suicide again, I encourage you to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255). They are a great organization who have skilled counselors available to talk 24/7.

In your post, you mention that you feel trapped as your parents have a lot of connections, which gives you no room to breathe or feel secure to confide in others. This definitely makes running away more complicated, since extended family can be a great resource when in a crisis. A place to stay is very important when making a plan, but there are other considerations. These include money (which you mentioned), school, and long term plans. We would be happy to discuss potential plans with you in a more private setting.

As a final note, while every state responds a little differently, if you run away it is considered a status offense. Your parents could file a report with the police and if the police find you they will be obliged to return you back to your legal guardians. That being said if you ever feel your life is in danger you should remove yourself from the situation and contact the police, regardless of who is threatening you. Also if you find yourself on the streets we have shelter and resource information and we would be happy to help. You can call us any time toll free at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)

Best of luck,

National Runaway Safeline