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My mom makes me want to kill myself

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm 12 years old. Just now, my mom beat me because I was talking to myself, saying I was 'testing' her yet she didn't hear a thing I said. She did this right when my step sisters came to visit, and when all my family was in the room, completely embarrassing me. She did this last time, except choking me because she thought I was ignoring my sibling, and only said a mere 'sorry' after I told her the severity of what she did. It took her over 30 minutes to apologize that time, as she was stalling saying I needed to shower.
    I am trying so hard to forgive her, but it's not working. She says anyone I tell she will be beating, because the only people I can tell are my two older sisters. I am miserable. I don't feel safe here anymore. I am hurt, physically and mentally, and all my siblings are doing is ignoring it and playing video games. Do my feelings really not matter?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    So my sister had the same issue with my mom and moved to her dads house and now that I’m becoming a teenager next month my mom always makes sure that I will always be last I know she hits me to learn my lesson but I have this condition where I can’t stop pulling out my eyebrows and eyelashes hairs and I tried to tell my mom that and she didn’t care so today when she came back from work I tried to give her a hug and she said “let me see your eyebrow” and then I showed her and she punched me with the hand that had a ring on it and now my face is bruised and I have two big bumps on my lip after that she started laughing and I went to my room to cry I have a younger sibling and she always treats him like he is important in front of me everytime my younger brother hits me my mom says we’ll leave to ur brother alone he is the younger one and you better treat him right so does my family put him first over me I now understand what my sister had to go through that’s why she moved houses and barely get to see her bc of my parents and no one does nothing but to watch me getting abused by my mother I just wished she would understand my condition c I told her idk why I can’t stop pulling my hairs out and she said well I’m not gonna stop hitting you till you stop and I can’t stop bc it’s addicting and I just think my mom treats her children that’s a boy she has 3 of them and treats like their favorite child and has 2 daughters that she treats like nothing but trash. Once I get old imma report her for abusing me and my sister.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We know it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing with us what’s been happening. We are sorry to hear that you have been slapped and verbally abused your mom. We want you to know that it is never okay to be slapped or verbally abused by someone. It sounds like from everything that’s been going on, you’ve developed depression, anxiety and feelings of anger to the point where you have thought about running away or killing yourself. We at NRS want you to know that we are here to help and want to ensure your safety. If it any time you have thoughts of killing yourself, we encourage you to call 911 or contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. It sounds like you have also tried talking to family members about what’s been going on. We encourage you to reach out to an adult that you trust (like a teacher, school counsellor or someone else) and of course you can chat or call us here at NRS.

    It sounds like you’ve thought about running away because of what’s been going on. While we are not experts of the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parental permission. If you are not 18 and you leave your home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you may stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more information about the specifics of the law, your local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail about what’s been happening, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or you feel unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Be safe and take care,

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    At this point, I don't know what to do. I've been told by family members that oh she loves you so much. Just stop being so closed off from her and she can help. I love her and everything but she's getting to the point where I can't take it anymore. She's so toxic she favorites my sibling over me *two boys I'm the only girl * she puts hands on me she slapped me today in front of both of my brothers and they didn't do anything. That was all over me trying to call my friend over a bracelet. My brother's girlfriend said oh I had it worse than you did just suck it up. She is verbally abusive. She cut off my contact with my dad even though I want to see him and I cant she said I think it's a bad idea for you to see your father. When he doesn't hit me and he's overall a loving and amazing father. She has caused all of my mental health issues *depression anxiety and anger issues* shes put me on meds now when all I have ever asked her was to be nicer and ill be ok. I cant even be happy around her I'm seriously thinking about just running away or killing myself. i dont know what to do at this point.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
    You mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    my mom makes me want to kill myself. she always degrades me, pulls my hair, yells at me for no possible reason, put me down so she can get up, and always makes sure im not feeling happy. she beats me if i forget to say ma'am/sir after i say yes or no. if i don't excuse myself from the table, she'll yell at me in front of my 5 year old sister. my mother has never felt a need to actually think about what i feel for a second. i sometimes wish my dad fought for custody of me, but no. he had to go of and date the girl he cheated on my mom with. i love my stem mom more then my bio mom. my mother never lets me make my own choices, she takes the things i love away from me, she threatens me with different things every. single. week. the only thing keeping me alive right now is my sister and dogs. my mom is single mother of two daughters and is a work at mom home, so i dont expect her to do thins from stress, and the only disability she has is dyslexia. i am debating on either ending it or running away to my dads.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like there a lot of scary and hurtful things happening to you at home. You don't deserve to be treated this way by anyone and we are very sorry for all of it. Being beaten up and bodyshamed and being told these horrible things is wrong. Your brother hurting you is also very wrong.
    We hope that you can ask for help from maybe a teacher that you like, or someone close to you. You can also reach out to us on one of our live services so that we can listen to you more and work to help you figure out what options you may have. We also hope that you will reach out to https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ because you deserve your life and we want you to live.
    We truly hope to hear from you soon. You can chat us through this website or call us at 1-800-786-2929
    Sincerely,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi, im a 13 year old. Last year my mom threaten me, that shes gonna threw me out of the house at the age of 12. I tried to get but when she found out she LITTERALY beat me up with my dad. She always bodyshames me. Once I drink or eat she starts to yell at me. When i dont eat she starts to yell at me. I think she wants me dead beacuse she is drowing me to suicide. She also told i was a mistake and i shouldnt be alive. I have two younger siblings. Once when i asked her to buy me a bottle for 4 $ she said no. But the next day she bought my sister a skate for 16$. My younger siblings also hate me. They beat me up, call me weak, say i should die and they wished they never had a sister like me. They guilt trip me alot. At this point i just wanna run away. She also screamed at me for breathing. So i think abt either: running away, asking for help or suicide. My brother has SA me and MY MOM KNOWS IT AND SHE DOSENT CARE.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your mom. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    tbh i love my mom but i hate her more then i love her i wanna run away but it sucks cause i cant i have no family no where to go to she took my phone away js for having a boyfriend but when my sister was my age she let her its so dumb and she takes all her anger out on me and abuses me emotionally but i cant open up to no one about it bc no one understands i deeply wanna killl myself but i cant bring myself to do it bc im religious and i don't wanna go to hell so i cant lmfao but yuh im funny lol

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    We're glad you're reaching out for support as you're working through this. It sounds like you've had a lot of stress and abuse piled on you for a very long time, without much opportunity for relief and to express your discomfort and hurt. Narcissistic parents can be very damaging, and recovery from it is possible no matter how old you are. It sounds like you wish things were different in your family, and would like more ownership of positive meaning in your life.

    One resource that might help is Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (or "ACOA"). They are a 12-step program started by adults who are recovering from dysfunctional relationships with parents (whether the relationship is in the past, or ongoing). They have meetings online and in person to connect with peers in similar circumstances, as well as readings and interactive workbooks. Their website is https://adultchildren.org/

    Additionally, we have a database of resources that can serve adults as well as youths. If you would like, you can contact us again (you can live chat us at 1800runway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY), and we may be able to connect you with counseling services, legal aid, or other services in your area. You deserve an ally as you work through this. We're here to listen and help, and are available 24/7.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Is there actually help out there for adult children of abusive covert narcissist parents? My father died 4 years ago due to diabetes and cancer. Since his death I see more and more the issues with my mom. I used to think I just had adhd and depression from my dad. I used to think I just had poor taste and settled for loser guys but as I've gotten older I've learned and realized I'm codependent as a result of the way I was raised. There was a lot of enmeshment. The more abuse I suffered after my dad died the clearer it became. My mother not only never kept me safe as a child but also welcomed the abuse into the home. When I would ask for her help is was as if I was being punished for something. I still dont know what I dI do wrong. I had a daughter when I just turned 18 who became her new weapon/priority. Fortunately my daughter does not see it for what it is. My daughter still feels so much love and I hope to keep it that way. My mother uses her own age and physical disability as an excuse to get me, my daughter, her mother and anoyone else to do things for her physically and financially. When I became aware of this and decided to become more independent my mother grew angrier that she couldnt use me as much. My mom seems to hate when she cant control me and being called out on her own toxic behavior amd manipulation and excuses. Stupidly I still try to talk to my mom sometimes but then when I do I feel myself go into this whole. This meaningless whole. Like I don't matter. She has my 14 year old daughter. My sister has my dog. What do I have? Really?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It can take a lot to reach out for help and we admire your courage for taking that step. It sounds like you may be experiencing physical and verbal abuse - we are so sorry you are going through this at home. You deserve to feel safe and respected at home, and we are here for you. We work best with people when we can have a conversation with you so our contacts for our live services (chat and phone hotline) are below.

    You mentioned your mom hits you often. No one deserves to be harmed, and you can report the abuse you are experiencing to child protective services if you choose. NRS can support you in making a report if you call our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us at https://www.1800runaway.org/. We also wanted to share information for Child Help, at www.childhelp.org, which is an organization that helps youth who are experiencing harm to navigate the child abuse reporting process, as we know it can be a lot to take in. Child Help also has a hotline at 1-800-422-4453. If it seems easier to talk with someone you know, reaching out to a trusted teacher or a school counselor about what is going on at home may also be something to consider.

    It sounds like the situation at home is taking a toll on your mental health, and we want to make sure you’re getting the support you deserve. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or self harm, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or online at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, is available 24/7 if you need someone to talk to. You are not alone, and we are always here to support you. You can call us or chat anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or by chat at www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button up top).

    Take care,
    NRS
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