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My mom makes me want to kill myself

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  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there,
    First, thank you for contacting us. It can be very difficult to seek help and just by reaching out to us you have shown tremendous strength. You deserve to be safe and supported and it is terrible that is not what is available to you. While we will try to address your main concern, forums have their limitations. We would love to talk to you either through online chat at www.1800runaway.org or on the phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) through our 24/7, toll free, confidential hotline. Contacting us through these means will allow us to offer more specific resources and support.

    I do not want to ignore the tone of your post. While it is not uncommon to have dark thoughts, Ie want to make sure that you are safe and have the support you need available if those thoughts become too loud or begin leading towards action. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) is a phenomenal resource available 24/7 for those who are experiencing depressive thoughts or suicidal ideation. Please do not hesitate to reach out to them.

    You mentioned that you are verbally and physically attacked by your mom. You should never have to be the recipient to such attacks. If you are ever concerned for your physical safety, remove yourself from the situation and reach out to the police or someone you trust. Your well-being, both physical and mental, are of the utmost importance. Such incidents, past or present, can be reported to the police or DCFS. I know that sounds scary, but if that is a path you wish to take we are available to help you through that process either by chatting with or calling us.

    I cannot imagine what home life is like for you, but want you to know that we and other resources are always available. If you ever wish to discuss your situation further or need resources including shelters or legal aid, do not hesitate to reach out. We are here to listen. Here to help.

    National Runaway Safeline

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hey,
    I am 12 years old my parents are divorced, i'm adopted, and my dad had a new wife and wants kids, that's all you need to know and on........ i was sexually abused in 2nd grade i told my mom but she did't care. She yells at me, hits me, mentally abuses me, and fat shames me when i know she only mad because i look like a whole snack. Anyways when I was 10 I started cutting myself because of the things she was doing i cannot share these things so don't ask but when she found out she banned me from watching YouTube because she thought that was what made me wanna kill myself even though she is the real reason. I don't give a s****** about what happens when I die as long as i'm away from her.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services. Some other resources, since you mentioned having started self-harming, are https://nami.org/Home for mental health support, and https://twloha.com/ which focuses on finding healthy ways to cope with the situation and finding the silver linings in daily life.
    You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services). If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe and stay strong,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hello. I am 10 years old. my mother is against anything i do. i know people have i much worse than me, but i just really hate her right now. she often calls me names and insults me, even for the smallest things. and if she finds me not participating in virtual class, (most of the time it's when i don't know the answer) she makes me turn my mic off and then she slaps me. today i was in the waiting room for a class, but it was taking long so i decided i would play on my tablet, and turn it off when i was in. she caught me playing on it, slapped my back, and then took it away "forever". just so you know, i have no friends in this neighbourhood, and i had many online games on it, where i had my only friends. she took it away and i told her that she just took away all my friends, and she said i deserved it and didnt care. I had started feeling suicidal after i turned 9. about two months ago i started self harming, and i have countless suicidal thoughts, im scared to death to tell my mom about this, and i dont want to call the cops on her at all because sometimes she will act like an actually nice human being. Thank you for reading.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there,
    Thank you for taking the time to share your feelings and reaching out for help with the National Runaway Safeline forum. That is a first step that takes a lot of strength, and we are proud of you. You spoke a little bit about feeling stuck and that can happen when you feel like you are not appreciated or wanted. It is never ok to have an adult you are meant to trust break your personal items. You mentioned that having your phone broken has left you without a means to communicate with loved ones and that can be a difficult thing to navigate, especially in combination with feeling stuck at home. You also seem to understand that you are holding onto your sad and hurt emotions and need to channel your energy in a better way, which is such an important thing to understand about yourself, so we applaud you for knowing that.

    It seems like you love your mom and would love to communicate with her in a way that is productive and useful to helping her understand how you are feeling. One of the things NRS can help you do is conference call with you, your mother and an NRS team member. This way, we can help you discuss your feelings and have an open conversation with your mother in a setting where the rules of the conversation can be created by you.

    While we are not legal experts, it can help to feel supported as you talk to an adult, and if that is something you are interested in, you can call in to our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY or use our live chat services at 1800ruaway.org. You have shown maturity and incredible strength by reaching out for help. We want you to know that whatever steps you take to help heal your relationship with your mom, we will be here to support and help you as best we can. We want your home and your relationship to your mom to be as healthy and safe for you as it can possibly be. We appreciate you contacting us and hope to hear from you, if needed.

    Stay strong,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My mom is the EXACT same way. I’m also fourteen and going through all of the stuff u are. I just wanna die. I think about how i would every day. I hate living with her. I can’t ever get away. I’m just stuck. I have no one to talk to. She took my phone and broke it for no reason. I have no way to talk to friends or family and I obviously can’t talk to my mom. I’m alone, holding my emotions in everyday all day. I have no reason to even be alive. I love her and I try to make her happy but it’s like everything I do makes her hate me more. I have no idea how to make her happy with me. I don’t know what to do to make her love me like she did when I was little. I can’t do this for much longer.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod8
    commented on Guest's reply
    First of all, thank you for reaching out to NRS today. It was a very brave thing to do. We are sorry your mom is not treating you respectfully. That must be both scary and frustrating and you do not deserve to be treated this way!

    You mentioned in the topic line that your mom makes you want to kill yourself. Our priority is always your safety. If you do feel like this isn’t something that you can control, please reach out to someone that can help you through those times. In some cases, it can be helpful to talk through these thoughts with someone especially if you are thinking about hurting yourself. You are certainly not alone in this and there are many many people that are here to help you. "The National Suicide Hotline" is available 24/7, just like us, but they have trained counselors that are there to talk through anything that you are thinking or feeling. Their number is 800-273-TALK (8255). They also have an online chat service that might be of help to you especially if you don’t feel like calling in (https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/).

    Another hotline you can reach out to is "SAMHSA" at 1-800-662-435. They deal with mental health issues within the family. This may help to relieve some of the difficulties you are facing when your mom uses you as a therapist. Getting someone that is trained and licensed can make sure that she is getting the proper help that she needs.

    One service that we offer here at NRS is something called a conference call. You reach out on our hotline, give us a little background of what is going on, and then ask to have a conference call allowing you to speak to your mom with the support of one of our liners. They will be able to mediate the conversation and allow you to talk to your mom that way. It might be a great way to talk about what you are going through and where this feelings might be coming from or to maybe build on your relationship and make it better. Something constructive so that it certainly opens the lines of communication, but that services is completely up to you.

    Lastly, you can use our chat service to have a more in depth conversation and explore a few more resources. We are here 24/7 and always ready to listen so do not hesitate to contact us again. We are so glad you reached out to us and know it is sometime difficult to ask for help.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My mom likes to say things such as when I die you’ll miss me or I’ll leave and you’ll be happier without me as a threat when something doesn’t go her way. She always tries to make me feel guilty like it all’s my fault. She tells me all of her problems like I’m her therapist such as how much she hates my dad and how she wants to divorce him. I confronted her a few days ago and told her I wanted to see a counselor because of what she’s doing and then she said ok then acts like an angel for 4 days so I think she changed so I canceled the counselor. Today she yells at me for not being able to hear her bc I had music on and I said can you text me instead bc I have trouble hearing you with music on and apparently that was disrespectful and being the mom. Also she was screaming at me because I didn’t know how to use a usb for a computer. Then tells my dad all of this and plays the victim and my dad always takes her side bc if he doesn’t he gets yelled at too. I told her she needs to stop complaining about her marriage to me and threatening to kill herself or leave and she completely disregards my feelings and has the nerve to say I’ll leave you all will be happier without me. I can’t even express my feelings to her without being screamed at or threatened. I have been trapped in my house for about 270 days bc of the virus and my mom has a disease so she can’t get the virus. We go out on a car ride once a month but being stuck in the house with her is hard and she makes me want to end it all.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello, thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you are having a difficult time coming to terms with your feelings, and that is okay. We understand that it can be confusing, uncomfortable and often scary for individuals to accept their feelings regarding their gender. However, we want to inform you that you are not alone. You deserve to have your feelings validated and you should be able to express yourself without any judgement from anyone. It’s understandable that you may have mixed feelings about what you are experiencing. Situations such as your own, takes time to figure out. In relation to your mental health, you may like to consider reaching out to a mental health professional to assist you with your mental concerns. In terms of your mother, you may like to consider having a conversation with her about how you have been feeling and how it has been affecting you. If you are uncomfortable in doing so, you may also like to consider having another trusted individual present to mediate the conversation. In terms of school, you may like to consider reaching out to your teacher(s) for extra help on assignments and course work.

    We want to inform you that we are not legal experts, however we do have a great deal of experience working with runaway youth. Based on your age, you are still considered a minor until you reach the age 18. If you decide to run away from home, your mother could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you, they would be obligated to return you to your mom’s house. In case you may have any more suicidal ideations, or may need assistance with your gender dysphoria, we have provided a couple resources you for you below:

    The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a toll-free hotline that you can call when you are feeling overwhelmed, distressed, or thinking about killing yourself. You can also chat with them online if you prefer to do so at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. The telephone number is 1-800-273-8255.

    Trans Lifeline

    Hotline number: 1-877-565-8860

    www.translifeline.org

    The Trevor Project

    LGBTQ+ Youth Suicide Lifeline

    Hotline number: 1-866-488-7386

    www.thetrevorproject.org



    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help you by telephone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice on the forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail, please call or chat us soon.

    We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk or any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Be safe,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I just want to jump off a cliff and sometimes I feel guilty for my feelings. I feel like I’m faking being depressed even though I’ve felt this way for almost a year now. I’m trans meaning that I have gender dysphoria and that makes me want to die, the world is a piece of ******** and it seems like I can never do anything to escape it, and school is extremely stressful because of how far behind I am. I still feel like I don’t deserve to feel my feelings. I’m turning 13 this year, so it feels like I’m just faking it for attention even though I’m hiding my feelings so how could I be faking for attention?! I just want to scream. I just want to run a way. I’m so ignorant when it comes to school that I feel like just trying to end it all. It’s my fault isn’t it? That’s how it feels. That’s how it’s always felt. I just want to die, but I don’t want to hurt others. I need therapy so bad but I feel like my problems aren’t enough for that. Please just kill me I just want to die please help me but just let me fall I need someone to help me out of this deep hole of a depression I’m in but I feel like I don’t deserve it and I should just die anyways. Nothing helps, but I need help, but I don’t want help. I know I need help but I don’t feel like I deserve help.
    sorry

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You don’t deserve to be yelled at or bullied by anyone.
    It’s not your fault that they have done this. It sounds like you have good feelings towards your dad and maybe you might consider expressing your feelings to him.

    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, I'm just 9 and my mom is always yelling at me because of missing school 2 time 2! and my sister she was a kid that was playful but now she is mean to me and bully's me all the time i cant call for help because my mom will get mad at me my dad will under stand but he is a good dad a dad that every kid will ask for.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 10-21-2020, 01:10 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe and stay strong,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hi my name is nevaeh my step mom is going to beat me bc i lost a shower cap she is sooooo nice to her real son im a girl we get along she blames everything on me even if he did the thing i wanna run away bc i dont like my life pls god kill me

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by ccsmod6 View Post
    Re: My mom makes me want to kill myself

    Hello there and thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you've been through quite an amount of pain from your mom. You don't deserve to be mistreated or harmed in any way. You mentioned that your mom has been abusive toward you and you have considered calling authorities on her but also feeling like you couldn't do that to her. It's understandable to be afraid to take that step, however we are here to help if you needed support reaching out to agencies that can help end the mistreatment. As a minor there are laws that protect you and your safety. The consequences your mom may face are uncertain, but reporting what's going on may offer support to you and your mom. Sometimes having help from someone outside of the family can bring attention to the issue and offer safe ways to bring about change in the home.

    You mentioned that everything your mom has done to you has led you to have feelings of ending our life. Your life is important, and you matter. If you are ever feeling unsafe or thinking about ending your life, we encourage you to reach out to emergency services by phone or in person. You may also reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Although things may seem to feel permanent, things do not have to remain as they are.

    As a reminder, we are here to help sort through things with you and identify a plan that is safest and best for you.

    We hope you reach out by phone or chat soon.

    Take care and stay strong,

    NRS
    All of you poor girls and boys need to know one thing there is no need to kill your selfs you are all have a important place in this world so please don’t care what people say I learned that last year in 7th grade I tried it to I was brutally bullied so I’m asking you all not pick suicide that’s the weakest thing anyone can do and I know you are all strong inside you all matter in this world so stay strong

    Leave a comment:

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