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**Guest** · 06-04-2022, 08:01 PM

At this point, I don't know what to do. I've been told by family members that oh she loves you so much. Just stop being so closed off from her and she can help. I love her and everything but she's getting to the point where I can't take it anymore. She's so toxic she favorites my sibling over me *two boys I'm the only girl * she puts hands on me she slapped me today in front of both of my brothers and they didn't do anything. That was all over me trying to call my friend over a bracelet. My brother's girlfriend said oh I had it worse than you did just suck it up. She is verbally abusive. She cut off my contact with my dad even though I want to see him and I cant she said I think it's a bad idea for you to see your father. When he doesn't hit me and he's overall a loving and amazing father. She has caused all of my mental health issues *depression anxiety and anger issues* shes put me on meds now when all I have ever asked her was to be nicer and ill be ok. I cant even be happy around her I'm seriously thinking about just running away or killing myself. i dont know what to do at this point.

**Guest** · 06-21-2022, 05:49 PM

So my sister had the same issue with my mom and moved to her dads house and now that I’m becoming a teenager next month my mom always makes sure that I will always be last I know she hits me to learn my lesson but I have this condition where I can’t stop pulling out my eyebrows and eyelashes hairs and I tried to tell my mom that and she didn’t care so today when she came back from work I tried to give her a hug and she said “let me see your eyebrow” and then I showed her and she punched me with the hand that had a ring on it and now my face is bruised and I have two big bumps on my lip after that she started laughing and I went to my room to cry I have a younger sibling and she always treats him like he is important in front of me everytime my younger brother hits me my mom says we’ll leave to ur brother alone he is the younger one and you better treat him right so does my family put him first over me I now understand what my sister had to go through that’s why she moved houses and barely get to see her bc of my parents and no one does nothing but to watch me getting abused by my mother I just wished she would understand my condition c I told her idk why I can’t stop pulling my hairs out and she said well I’m not gonna stop hitting you till you stop and I can’t stop bc it’s addicting and I just think my mom treats her children that’s a boy she has 3 of them and treats like their favorite child and has 2 daughters that she treats like nothing but trash. Once I get old imma report her for abusing me and my sister.

**Guest** · 07-03-2022, 10:27 PM

I'm 12 years old. Just now, my mom beat me because I was talking to myself, saying I was 'testing' her yet she didn't hear a thing I said. She did this right when my step sisters came to visit, and when all my family was in the room, completely embarrassing me. She did this last time, except choking me because she thought I was ignoring my sibling, and only said a mere 'sorry' after I told her the severity of what she did. It took her over 30 minutes to apologize that time, as she was stalling saying I needed to shower.
I am trying so hard to forgive her, but it's not working. She says anyone I tell she will be beating, because the only people I can tell are my two older sisters. I am miserable. I don't feel safe here anymore. I am hurt, physically and mentally, and all my siblings are doing is ignoring it and playing video games. Do my feelings really not matter?

**Guest** · 08-20-2022, 03:37 PM

I'm an 18 year old girl my mom has been verbally abusive towards me and blames ******** on me she's also a churchoholic she demands me to go the church but I don't want to cause I know I'm not accepted there she will say things to me that hurt me and make me depressed I feel like life is nothing I hate God for putting me in this family I feel like I'm a burden to everyone else maybe I should give up on life and take my own life away god has abandoned me I prayed to him every day but he wouldn't answer now I just want to kill myself life is hopeless we all live in a world where happiness doesn't exist and optimisim is nothing but blind hope ******** life ******** my life I don't deserve life

**Guest** · 09-03-2022, 10:07 PM

My mom makes me want to kill myself.
My mom is constantly telling me I am ungrateful and selfish, when all I said is that I want some recognition that she still loves me. She never listens to what I have to say, and makes me feel miserable. My stepdad is always antagonizing me and telling me I'm lazy and stupid. He tells me that I don't respect him as an elder, but anybody who knows me knows my motto is give respect, get respect. My mom is always punishing me for even the smallest things like not having my room clean. She used to spank me for things my siblings did. She never wants to hang out like a mother and daughter should. She is always invading my privacy. Today I told her she was invading my privacy and she told me I could forget about doing volleyball for school. I'm only a middle schooler. She treats me like her slave, and if I don't do what she want exactly how she wants it done, when she wants it, then she takes something I love away from me. But what is the point in giving me my own room if your just going to invade it like I am not even there? She acts like she wants me to succeed, but the minute I start, she tells me that I suck. Whenever my mom gets mad at me, she doesn't even tell me she loves me. In fact, she never does unless I say it first. And I mean sure she buys me expensive things, and takes me shopping, but she only does because my older sister convinces her to. She loves all her kids except for me. She acts like I'm a piece of trash that she can run over with her car. She tells me that I need to see a therapist, but as soon as I start to really ope up to her, my mom says we can't afford that anymore so this is going to be your last session. There was one time my mom wasn't home, and I decided to bake cookies for my friend. I finished baking them and put the dishes in the dishwasher. My stepdad came in and told me I needed to hand wash the dishes. I told him no if he wanted the dishes hand washed then he could wash them. Then he started to throw all of my 3 hours of hard work away. So I grabbed him by the back of the shirt to try to get him to stop, but he grabbed me by the neck. I fel to the ground, but then luckily my sister came upstairs and yelled at him. I went to church group and told one of my church leader about it and she called CPS. The police came to our house and they took his side on it. Then I told my school councelor what happened and a few months later the police showed up again, and took his side. My mom also takes his side on everything, even though he emotionally abuses us. I started cutting a year ago, and stopped, but now I feel like starting again. My mom treats me like I'm her slave, and never shows any graditude towards me. She never says thank you, or please, or I love you (which I mentioned earlier), and she constantly takes stuff I love away from me. I feel as though I was a mistake sometimes. At least my friends care about me. I feel unloved by everybody in my family. Except for my favorite cousin. He makes me feel like I belong in the family. But of course, my mom barely ever lets me see him. We walk to school together, but I don't really get any quality time with him now that summer is over. My friends always tell me "you could just live with your dad.", but he doesn't have enough money to take me to court to fight over custody rights with my mom. I only see my real dad every other weekend, and I'm his favorite child. But I'm also worried if I move there that he might start acting like my mom. My whole life my mom has treated me like I'm worthless. I mean my mom says she tolerates homosexuals, but when I used to be gay, I couldn't tell her because I felt as though she might kick me out. I went straight again though. I am still confused about what I am because people keep saying "Follow what your heart tells you." But I don't know what my heart is telling me. School is one of my favorite places because I don't have to be at home. The gym (I do gymnastics too), is also like a home away from home. Except my teammates hate me for no apparent reason specifically one girl in particular. My mom once threatened to push me down the stairs because I couldn't figure out how to vacuum them. My mom is always saying "I'm tired I have been working all week blah blah blah, ungrateful child you don't understand how hard I work for you blah blah blah." But she is so rude to me for no reason. I used to be a bad kid, but I have been trying really hard to change. Mom doesn't see that though, and she constantly calls me stupid and just really mean names in general. Anyways I'm sorry for ranting, It's just I just want to end everything. It would make stuff easier. I just wish I had the balls to stab the knife into my stomach. I might just start cutting again instead.

**Guest** · 02-11-2023, 10:03 PM

my mom makes me wanna kms.shes so mean and abusive.she always takes my phone like today i snuck my phone and she slapped me shes the only reason i dont want to be on this earth i hate myself cause of her and she doesnt even know im only 12years old and already want to leave this earth and be with God.i even cry because i hate the way my mom treats me.the earth would be so much better without me.if i do leave this earth i will be happy but i will miss my dad,siblings,and family i hope one day she will realize shes a horrible mom and will change her ways.

**Guest** · 03-21-2023, 07:13 PM

Originally posted by Guest View Post

I hate my mom. She’s such a **********, everything I do she always have to find a way to criticize me. She’s also a hypocrite. She points out my mistakes, but I can say the same thing about her. She guilt trips me into saying that once she’s dead I’ll regret everything. ********** I’m not ********ing scared, I’ll kill myself before you do. Even if I did open up to her she would just tell me I’m dramatic and ********. I really want to kill myself.

I feel the exact same way about my mom. She was amazing when I was younger but then once my dad cheated on her she became the exact same way as yours. I'm now 12 and I feel like I can't do anything without her saying something. Every day I wonder how it would feel like to be in my friends shoes or sometimes I wish I wasn't even born. I also think about killing myself so I don't have to deal with her and she can feel regret for everything she has done. I hate her so much but I know I can't say anything or else she will say oh my gosh you don't feel that way, your over reacting, or nobody feels that way.

**Guest** · 06-24-2023, 02:08 AM

My mom makes me wanna kill myself
im 11 years old I’ve been dealing with depression,anxiety anger attacks by my own just one person knows but i can’t see her anymore my mom abuse me mentally since I’m 9 I’m 11 now and i want to kill myself i know I’m young but i cut myself a lot till my hand is covered with blood my mom judge me by the way i look or how i dress my opinions etc I’ve been thinking of kill myself but i can’t cause i believe in god and that is bad i really need help please …

**Guest** · 07-09-2023, 11:36 PM

I really am struggling because of my mom. Every time she hits me, glares at me, or yells at me. I just wanna cry. I have no one who I fully trust in my family who I can rant to anymore. My grandpa was the only one, but he passed away 3 months ago sadly. It’s been rlly hard for me. He would always protect me from my mom and even if I had 2 other cousins. He still treated me as if I was his favorite. My uncle and aunt didn’t seem to like me so they never took me anywhere when I was younger. My grandpa took me out instead. He would take me to the park and get me ice cream. He was the best! He treated me like someone. My dad adores me as well, but he’s never home. I always feel like a disappointment because I was a bit chubby. I’ve been body shamed my whole life by my friends, mom, and cousins. I’ve grown so sick of it. My mom hits me for the most smallest things. I get framed for teaching bad stuff to my little cousin and then suddenly I’m the culprit. We went to the beach today with my cousin because I became a bit more close with them as soon as I got older. I got sand in my swimsuit. I still get yelled at and slapped on the face. I never know if my mom loved me or not. She pays for my tutor and school. She also just compares me to other kids because I’m not as smart and they’re older than me sometimes by 10 years. Then I’m suddenly dumb. I keep my grades at As and Bs. Now im suddenly a disappointment. Im not even allow to have a B. I always have anxiety now and cry myself to sleep. Im not allowed to wear “man clothes” apparently, such as long t-shirts. That’s what I love wearing and feel comfortable in. I even have been having suicidal thoughts since I’ve been 10 AND IM ALREADY 13. I CANT EVEN MOVE OUT. My mom wants me to be a doctor, but nowadays I can’t think of anything else. I only feel like wanting to die, erasing my existence from this cruel world, giving my mom the happy life she deserves because I know I can never fulfill her wishes.

**ccsmod14** · 07-10-2023, 12:40 AM

Hi, thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It's very brave of you to share your experiences with NRS and NRS is here to listen and help you the best way possible. Our deepest condolences to the passing of your grandfather. It seems that you are going through some very rough times now. NRS is sorry to hear about the unfortunate circumstances that you're experiencing with your mother and the rest of your family. You do not deserve the abuse that you been enduring. NRS takes these matters serious and to further help you address any thoughts and feelings of suicide or any other self-harm, NRS will provide you with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline , all you have to do is dial 998. If you need further help with what you're experiencing at home, please contact NRS by phone call or chat with the contact information below.

NRS want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please contact our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,

NRS

**Guest** · 08-12-2023, 11:32 PM

I feel you on that I feel bad about what happened to you. I’ve been verbally abused mostly and all I could do is cry because my mom just treats me like I’m retarted because I have ADD and certain things she saids always hurt and the worst part is when whenever she fusses at me she doesn’t care if I’m upset or not like a couple days ago she wanted to drive her to the place I’m going to be volunteering at for school but we went to Walmart first and so lost story short my mom makes me uncomfortable when I drive and criticizes me that’s why when I went in to the store I called my stepmother and told her what happened and then when I back in the car I let my mom that men and my stepmom going driving the next day and she got upset and call me a snake. Because I called my stepmom to help me out so now I’m the bad guy.

**Guest** · 09-01-2023, 10:49 PM

My mom makes me uncomfortable in my own skin. I feel like crying when I so much as wake up in the morning for work.
She has lately been saying very sexual (borderline incestuous) comments and insults about me when I have 1) NEVER dated anyone and 2) I rarely ever hang out with my own friends... maybe once every two years. I'm 19 about to turn 20 this month. On top of everything she has been acting incredibly hostile towards me the closer I get to my birthday. She's has schizophrenic bipolar disorder, but every time I tell about all the pain she has inflicted upon me and my family, I'm told I should be sympathetic and tolerate her BS because she's sick and she's my mom (yet she seems to act like a COMPLETELY different person, friendly and considerate whenever we have any company over) everyone believes I'm overreacting or lying or simply doesn't care.
I have two younger brothers she is also constantly stressing out, but I have luckily been able to sheild most of it from them, for the past 10 years.
I remember the 3 of us were sent into fostercare due to one of her "episodes" for nearly three years. It was prolonged because CPS found out she would repeatedly beat and starve us when my dad was away on business trips on top of some medical neglect. I have a distinct memory of being trapped in a hot house with no food or water during a very hot summer. She wouldn't let us open any windows or doors and would threaten to hit me with the belt if I turned on the AC.
Even after we were reunited with our parents, she continued with her abuse of my family. No matter who we turned to, nobody wanted to deal with us because she's "oh so sick" and "legally, we cannot do anything sorry." It just gets worse everytime, every year. I just want to stop eating entirely. My relationship with food has always been rough, but lately it's become less and less appealing. I sometimes feel like vomiting when I eat, I still force myself to eat 3 times a day despite how I feel. I feel disgusting afterwards everytime, the recent sexual and incest comments add onto it. She always says this stuff infront of my friends and male relatives on my dad's side. I feel humiliated every single time. And yet she gets mad as ******** when I don't say "I love you" back or give her a kiss (which now all affection with my parents has been twisted in my brain bc I'm so worried that it's sexual, when it's not at all.) I don't know why she hates me so much. I've been a loner all my life, I've always strived to be the best at school. Straight A's despite my hardships, highest GPAs possible. I don't know why I seem as though I am incapable of being loved like a daughter. I find it rare I ever feel like my age, I have always felt both too young and too old for my body.
I'm always the responsible adult in the house, meanwhile she gets to enjoy acting like some petulant child at the near age of 50.
I'm so tired, so hungry, so sad,
yet I cannot sleep, eat, or express emotions freely.
it feel like no one cares about the kid who was deemed "ugly" by their parents since the minute they were born (a.k
a the reason why I DONT have any baby pictures, unlike my siblings)
I know she regrets having me and is pissed that I am not so easy to abuse or make cry.
But I feel like I'm on the verge of giving up. I'm scared to live my own life, when all I've ever envisioned as a kid was not even being able to live long enough to see my own high school graduation.

I just want someone to hold me and tell me it will all be okay. I don't know what else to do...

**Guest** · 09-18-2023, 10:27 AM

I get so mad and want to stab myself when she hits me , slaps me, rocks my head, hits me with a slipper, pull my hair , and a LOT more abusive stuff she makes me want to wish that I could die or run away , I'm only 9 and she abuses me so much even for the most little things, I don't know what to do in this situation I don't know if I should call the cops or other things that could help me because she loves me and cares about me I just don't know what to do all this stress just wants me to wish I could stab myself , every day I take a knife and put it facing my neck but when I want to do it I just couldn't ..My parents are Arab ..There so strict I wish I was dead or a car hits me . Hopefully something happens .. I wish I hade British parents or parents that are easy and soft with there child . Hopefully something good happens to everyone that has abusive parents . Bismillah

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