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  • hi.im 13 years old,male and im from malaysia.i dont get any freedom at home and i dont even get to go out even before the pandamic happen.im froced to stay home unless i need to go to school or church.she always embarress me and favours my younger sister.whenever i try to forget about something in the past,she will bring it up again and again.i cannot stand it anymore.i really want to escape home but i wont have anywhere to go.the other option is to kill myself.i cannot call any helpline because my mom wont allow me to call anyone.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

      We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

  • hi, I'm fourteen years old and my mom makes me GENUINELY want to take my own life. I'm extremely depressed and I have been for a long time. I constantly have thoughts of ending my life and the only thing that was keeping me from doing that was my online friends. I hate every moment of my life when I'm not talking to them. the only reason I feel this way is because of my mother. she's so addicted to degrading me and it ********ING HURTS. I feel that she's a completely different person around others. almost like she has multiple personalities. she makes me feel as if I don't deserve to live. I'm forced to sit on the couch with her from the time I get home from school to the time I go to bed. during this time, she encourages me to speak to her, or else she calls me "mopey for attention" but when I do speak I don't know what to say because most of the time when I talk, about ANYTHING, she'll tell me I'm being annoying. around my grandparents, she isn't rude to me at all. around her friends she's extremely rude almost as if she's trying to show off like "hey look, I have power over her and she can't do anything" and it's ridiculous. recently her boyfriend moved in without giving me any notice. now that he's around, she's ruder than ever. I open up to my online friends' about things I'm dealing with, mentally and they all encourage me to open up to my mom. I tell them time after time that she won't care but I finally decided to try it. we were in the car and I started to tell her how I felt inside. she decided to start screaming at me. saying things like "I wanna beat your ass. you always pull this ******** when you want attention" not to mention I've only opened up to her ONCE before when I was about twelve, and that experience made me not want to do it again. after this I was extremely hurt because a mother is supposed to support you during these times. I went into the bathroom for a "shower" and began my old habit of cutting my wrists. this all happened on Sunday, December 13, 2020. yesterday, December 15, 2020, I told a small lie to my mom because that's what I have to do to get out of the house to see my grandma who actually loves and cares about me. my mom made a huge deal out of this lie and when she came to pick me up, she took my phone from me. that was the ONLY way I could reach my online friends who are the ONLY reason I haven't killed myself. I went to my room last night and I feel so alone now. I don't have a reason not to end my life. I was looking in my mirror degrading myself in my head and how I don't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore. then she busted in my door saying "We're gonna have a long talk tomorrow. I'm sure you know what it's about." and I think I do but I really hope it's not what I'm thinking. I'm not supposed to have Snapchat. my mom took that privilege away from me about two months ago. I found a way to get it back because I NEED my online friends, and I think when she took my phone yesterday she realized I have Snapchat on it again. this being said, I think she's gonna delete my ENTIRE ACCOUNT which will not only be the last straw for me but will make my online friends think that I blocked them AND I CAN'T HAVE THAT!!! I'm sick of tolerating her bs. if she takes my one motivation to live away tonight, I am GOING to kill myself soon. I can't live with her anymore.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to NRS! It sounds like you are not receiving the support that you deserve from home. It takes a lot of courage to reach out to get help that itself deserve recognition. While it seems that your mom and you have a difficult relationship, it does sound like you have a lot of great friends and other family members that genuinely care for you and want to support you in any way that they can.

      You mentioned your grandma in your post. An option could be to sit down with her and explain to her everything that going on she might be able to give some options and it could be an outlet just to sit down and let someone know how you are feeling. You mentioned that you have been mentally degrading yourself lately and wanting to harm yourself. You can always reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1- 800-273-8255 or suicidepreventionlifeline.org as well as the crisis text line (text "connect" to 741741) if you ever feel in distress There is always someone there to listen and support you. Another helpful resources to reach out to is Child Help which is the national child abuse hotline. Verbal abuse is considered abuse as well and an advocate can tell you more about how child protective services might be able to help Child Help can be reached at 1-800-422-4453 or childhelp.org. No one including your mother should ever make you feel that you are not worthy of respect and dignity. Remember you are never alone you can always reach out to us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat at 1800runaway.org.

      Stay Strong and Good Luck,
      NRS

  • I love my mom dearly and she loves me but yesterday we had a misunderstanding My mom was doing my hair and she hit my with the comb because i was moving and she was about to hit me again so i tried to grab the comb not take it from her but just grab it so she does not hit me. This back fired and she pulled back and my hand was on her wrist I pull away really fast and say I'm sor--- then before I finished saying what i was saying she hits my with the comb a total of 18 times sauong that I am a horrible person and a man should not put there hands on a woman and saying that I assaulted her and a lot more but thats all I remember So she sents me to my room and I go to sleep I pray that My mom will understand that It was a mistake and I did not mean to grab her wrist (btw I did not hrab it hard It was like we were holding hands) I the next day I go to her room and I try to say want happen and what will happen for now on and we were talking I said that i was sorry she did not care though and she was srill angry with me and she starts yelling and stuff and tells me to gwt out. Now I am grounded for a month and I get non of my chrismas gifts I am so sad and upset I thought about everything and I don't see what I did wrong can someone help me please

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are so sorry to hear about what happened at home: It sounds really hard. We hope we can help you through this tough moment.
      It is important you know, first of all, that you do not ever deserve to be hit, regardless of the circumstances. This is physical abuse and it is not okay. It also sounds from your telling of the story like you were trying to defend yourself from physical violence when you grabbed your Mom. Your defense may have confused her or enraged her, and she is entitled to her feelings about this, but she should not have hit you.
      Is this happening frequently? Do you feel unsafe in your home? These are questions to think about. There is help out there if you need of it. You can always report physical abuse to CPS. If you want to know more about that, or need help filing a report, you can reach out to Child Help, the National Child Abuse Hotline, at 1-800-422-4453. They are there to help. Of course, if your immediate safety is threatened, calling 911 is always an option.
      It sounds like this was a big misunderstanding between you and your parent, and now that you have maturely addressed the situation, you are not getting a response from Mom that helps things move forward. You may consider reaching out to other family members, friends, or trusted adults to talk through the situation, and perhaps even to enlist them in helping you talk to Mom. If you ever want to call us, we can mediate a conversation between you two via conference call, but this would of course require Mom’s participation.
      You are doing the right thing. We know it must be very difficult, and knowing that Christmas will not be the same must feel lonely and sad. This may take time. The misunderstanding clearly led to hurt on both sides. If you need support in the days the follow, we encourage you to reach out to us at any time. We are always here to listen, here to help at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      Stay safe and strong,
      NRS

  • My mom harms me when I don't follow her instructions and she screams and threatens to kill herself in front of me. This happens every day, she acts like she's the Queen, I had enough of this and I want to kill myself. I'm only 9 years old.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear your mom is behaving so badly toward you. Perhaps one idea is to talk to another adult you trust about the situation and what you are going through. Maybe that's another relative, teacher, or parent of a friend. You can also file an abuse report about the harm she is doing to you, including the threats to kill herself. You can do that through www.childhelp.org or through the local police or your school. We can also file an abuse report on your behalf if you call or chat with us.

      It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe and stay strong,

      NRS

  • The reason is family life.
    Hello, the reason for it is because of my family, my mom, and bullying.
    I feel like she has become even more manipulative then before. Its happened suddenly and I don't know why. I seriously feel like I should attempt suicide.I even scheduled a date to shoot and drown myself and have a list of people to hire for the job.
    Whenever she catches me doing something that is wrong in her eyes, she punishes me for almost no reason. Like that time when I was at my friend's house for a sleepover, and I watched a movie. It was appropriate age for me, but I let it slip that I watched one at home. It was a PG MOVIE! And my best friend's dad was with us the whole time! Its also because of bullying, online or otherwise. In 3rd grade, someone was bullying me. It was my most close school friend. Another time was in preschool. I moved from Ohio to Maryland at an early age. When I went to daycare, it was total HELL. All the other kids were mean to me, they destroyed my artwork, they made fun of me, they physically hurt me and beat me up. I had no friends at all. For 6 years. 6 years of this torture. It scarred me.
    I daily get cyber bullied online.

    I have a great life, careers in mind, supportive friends and a great community.
    But I feel it isn't enough. My life ends July 31, my Birthday, and my favorite author's birthday, and harry potter's birthday. Please answer this before then. I love my family, but what do I do?

    I am only a 10 year old girl, but my heart has shattered. Save me, please.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a difficult time of your life and you are very brave for reaching out. Here at the National Runaway Safeline we are here to listen and help you in any way we can. It sounds like you are having a lot of problems with your mom right now. It could be an option to talk to a school guidance counselor or a trusted adult about your feelings. Another option could be to look into family counseling. It might be helpful to discuss ways to improve your communication with your mom so she understands what you're going through.

      You also mentioned you were being bullied. You don't deserve to be treated that way by anyone. Your life and well-being are so important to us. We want you to know that you are not alone. If you ever feel like you’re in danger of hurting yourself, we encourage you to call 9-1-1 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at1-800-273-8255 to discuss your feelngs. We really hope this information helps you. We encourage you to call or try our Live Chat at 1-800-786-2929 or 1800runaway.org if you’d like to get into more detail or just talk about things happening in your life. We are here 24/7 for immediate support. We wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

      Stay strong and be safe,
      NRS

  • I have really bad anxiety Depression I'm not sure if I have anxiety disorder my mom use to fight in front of me with my dad I would hide stress not show I was stress as I went to school I would get build to point of no friends turn on me wanted me to drink bleach I would find love in wrong places my mom would offen tell me I'm grateful I dont belong here I kept on hidden stress so many stress still is 2020 my mom want let me to see anxiety Depression person to talk to she feels I would say something make her lose her check my aunt also tell me things that she should tell my dad but no she tell me I always getting in trouble with everything she has my mom makes me feel I shouldn't be here anymore I haven't got to point of killing myself I jut hide stress all time still dont how to live with stress of learn how not hide it I been hiding it since I was 5-20 I dont have anything in my family to talk to I'm always keeping stress hidden

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,

      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really rough time and we want you to know that you are not alone.
      It sounds like the friends you had were not good friends and that is unfortunate. Dealing with depression and anxiety can be really rough. One option to consider would be to talk with a school counselor or a mental health profession. Sometimes it can be hard to keep everything in and you do not have to keep all your feelings to yourself.
      We know you mentioned suicide, which is a serious thing to consider. We want you to know if you are feeling suicidal please reach out to The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1800-273-8255. Your life is important and you are worth living.
      We are here 24/7 to provide support and to listen please give us a call at any time. We are non-judgmental and confidential and also available by chat. We wish you the best of luck!
      NRS

  • Hello, I’m a 15 year old girl my mother asks me to do a lot and I do everything she asks but she still calls me lazy I’m 1 of 6 children and the oldest. My mother hits me and yells at me a lot and I’m not sure what to do and she’s making me feel as if the best option is to end my life I know a lot of people will miss me but I don’t know how much more negativity I can take you see we recently moved away from an abusive man and my maid starting to mimic his actions I don’t know what to do she’s fine at times but as soon as I make one mistake everything goes wrong. She calmed down from a recent disagreement and I’ve asked her to take me to see my counsellor and she replied to my message with a thumbs up I’m not sure if that’s a yes or she’s still not talking to me.

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. You are important and matter and we don't want you hurting yourself in any way. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

      We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • I wanna die I try my hardest in school and my mom still calls me a dumb*** i show her the cuts on my wrist and she tells me to really do it next time and she even said she’ll buy me a sharper blade. I don’t wanna die and leave my friends but I don’t think they care either really. I use ecstasy it makes me happy and that’s one of the only reasons I’m not dead rn. And people who aren’t my friends call me a pu*** because I don’t kill my self.

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It sounds like you're having an all around tough time, and we're sorry to hear that. Please know that we are here for you and that you don't deserve to be treated the way that you mentioned your mom or your "friends" have been treating you.

      Working through suicidal thoughts and self harm can be incredibly difficult, especially when you don't have the support systems in place to help you. Talking with a safe person, like a therapist or a school social worker, can be a helpful starting point. Not only do they have the tools and resources available to help you, but they're also really good folks to just talk to. They're also mandated reporters, so if you disclose any form of abuse happening at home (like mom encouraging you to kill yourself), they can file an abuse report on your behalf.

      If at any point you feel as though you are unsafe (whether because of your mom or your own suicidal ideations), please contact your local enforcement for support immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is another org that you can reach out to for support if/when needed. Their phone number is 800-273-8255 or you can chat with them 24/7 by visiting suicidepreventionlifeline.org. If you'd like to talk more about what's going on at home, how you're feeling, learn more about child abuse reporting, or anything else, please reach out to us here at NRS by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org.

      Take care.

      NRS

  • every time me and my mom interact we yell at each other and she makes me so mad I don't want to kill myself or run away but I just don't want to be sad anymore.

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there -

      Thanks so much for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline today. Conflict with parents can be so hard at times. And having someone to talk to about this is so important. When parents yell and don't try to understand what you're going through, it can make it so much worse.

      If you haven't thought about it before, having a counselor or therapist can be very helpful. Someone that is on your side and can be objective and help you work out what the issues are. There is no guarantee, but it's a thought. Often school counselors can serve that purpose. There are also organizations that can help you find a therapist in your area, such as www.NAMI.org (1-800-950-NAMI (6264). And other adults, such as a relative, or friend's parent, can be a way to get emotional support.

      Remember that you're not alone in any of this and it helps to share your thoughts and feelings with others who understand you and can support you. We are here 24/7 at National Runaway Safeline. If you need to chat further or discuss resources we can provide, please reach out.

      Thanks and good luck.
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