Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

My mom makes me want to kill myself

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    It’s me the 12 year old again.
    The one that caused self harm and is too scared to tell my mom?

    thats me. My mom also compares me to my friends and kids from internet posts.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I feel you. All of you.
    Last edited by ccsmod7; 06-12-2019, 01:12 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    It’s me again, the exact same person. My mother doesn’t see the damage she’s causing. I want to kill myself to never live this stupid life again. I wish I was in a different family. I nearly picked up a steak knife once to kill myself because of her. My mom can be really rude sometimes doesn’t care. I wish you guys were here. I could use some help. I think I might have depression, although I’m just 12.


    Maybe life is nothing.


    Can anybody understand me?


    Also all she cares about is homework. She always pretends as if she’s a great teacher. But she’s really not. Whenever I get a question wrong she yells at me. And it hurts me. Once she even hit me.

    I always start to cry when she yells at me. But when I cry she yells even louder and gets angrier. She isn’t the mother I need. Can somebody hear me?
    Are you guys here for me?

    can you help me?

    im not sure what to do.

    Please help.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am a 12 year old girl, and my mom yells at me, and puts a lot of pressure on me. When I tell her to stop, all she does is carelessly reply, "I never did anything". It hurts me a lot, and I just wanna kill myself.
    Recently I caused self harm, by erasing my skin. I still have the mark after 3 months have passed.
    I'm too scared to tell her how I feel, because it just makes things worse.
    I'm too scared to tell anyone about this.
    Please help me.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for telling us your story and reaching out. It can be difficult telling others about your personal life and what has been happening to you. First we would like to say you are a very strong person, living with someone who says you have a demon inside you or is not willing to let you enjoy your own birthday presents can’t be easy. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your parents could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. The people you’re staying with could potentially get in trouble for harboring and minor depending on your age and state you are in. You could consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

    If you don’t feel safe and feel like you need to get away Nationalsafeplace.org provides a safe location for you to meet a staff member who can take you to a designated place where you can discuss all options about how to stay safe. You can text 44357 the word “safe,” and your location to find a safe location in your area. Once you arrive let someone who works there know you need help connecting with a staff member. We also have access to a shelter data base if you are interested in staying in a shelter or a transitional living program.
    You mentioned witnessing your mom and brothers were physically abused by your father. No one deserves to be abused, and you and your family should not have to go through that. If you haven’t already, you could consider reporting the abuse that has happened. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.

    Sometimes talking to someone about what you have gone through can be helpful for your overall health. As your mental health suffers, you have limited ability to handle the other stressors in your life. You and anyone in your family can contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) to connect you to mental health resources at 1-800-950-6264 or NAMI.org You may also want to talk to your school because they should have a counselor for you.
    One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your parents but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to explain to your mom how you feel about the things she does and why you want to leave home. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you.

    Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to reach us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.

    Wish you the best
    -NRS.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I don't know if this argument is even valid, and I have a lot to say. I just turned 14 last week. When I was younger, my dad abused my mom and my brothers, which is the reason I don't count him as an option. I don't necessarily want to run away, but I just want to know what I can do. Let's just say that my mom is crazy. I don't mean that she sometimes does things that can be questionable, no. I mean that she is constantly 24/7 acting like a lunatic. My mom is very religious, which can be a problem relatively often. If she thinks that I am doing something that God wouldn't like, she tries to make me stop what I am doing or get rid of what she thinks is causing it. For example, a few days ago, my mom and grandma gave me birthday money so that I could get what I wanted without them having to guess. They have done this for years, which I enjoy, because they happen to sort of be bad present givers. Anyways, I bought a Nightmare Before Christmas poster for $5 from my local Walmart. I brought it home and put it on my wall above my bed. My mom came into my room complaining that my poster was a "portal for demons, and it needed to be taken out of the house". I told her I would take it down, but my friend was staying the night, so I was just thinking I would take it down later. Later that night, I had forgotten about the poster, and I was playing a video game with my friend. All of a sudden, my mom bursts into my room yelling and screaming about how I was supposed to take the poster down, so she went and ripped it off of my wall, took it outside, and burned it​​​​​​. Just like that. She does this type of thing ALL THE TIME. I don't think thats a geniune reason to leave, but I really wish it was, because my mom is driving me crazy. She always tells me that everyone in Hollywood is a "tranny" and she is extremely homophobic. She explains to me that the Earth is flat and that public schools are ruining children. She doesn't believe anything unless it says it in the bible. She did leave the house for a few day a couple weeks ago, and with her gone, I realized that my life is better without her. What are my choices in this situation? My older sister lives next door and she has a spare bedroom. Too bad, though, because my mom would never let me live anywhere but with her. Sometimes, my mom will be completely fine, but the second she mentions religion, she goes ballistic. I am unable to tolerate her when she gets like that, so I usually ignore her when she starts talking about Christianity. Sometimes I'll go to my room to get away from her, but she follows me and starts telling me that theres a demon in me making me walk away from her. I just feel like I'm out of options, here.
    ​​​​​

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    We are very sorry for everything you are going through. it sounds like it's been really hard for a long time and you have been so brave and strong. it sounds like it's scary and chaotic with your mom: not knowing what her mood will be or what the rules are for each engagement with her. That is a very hard situation to be in.

    We are so glad that you found us, and we admire you for being brave and asking for help. You deserve help. We believe you and are here for you. We are very glad that you feel better with your dad, and that your friends, and especially your best friend are there and supportive to you. We are glad that you have them as reasons to live because suicide is permanent, but this situation with your mom IS NOT. Just the fact that you will be an adult and have your own life and home and choices. You will have a life where you can choose to associate with your mom or not. And so for now, the times when you are feeling that you want to hurt yourself, remember that your friends and believe you, and we believe you.

    If you are feeling that you want to end your life, please reach out to us or to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK. We also hope you will reach out to us through our live chat service at 1-800-runaway.org, or so that we can fully support you and listen to you, please call our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). We are here 24/7 to listen and help you make a plan that will help you to feel more in control of your life and situation. Together we can help you find resources and ideas to help things to feel better for you.

    Sincerely,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I ********ing hate my life right now, my mom is such a **********, one time i was helping my dad put a new bed in my room and i couldnt lift this one piece of the bed and i yelled at my mom so he could hear me and i said “dad i cant lift it can you help me?” And she walked near my door and said to me “of course you cant lift it” and i was so ********ing mad at her i just wanted to tell her “hey why dont you ********ing try and lift this heavy piece of metal you **********” but if i do all shes gonna do is try to get me more mad but that isnt the point the point is shes the reason i have anxiety in life shes always been critizing me in life and been telling me stuff that always made me sad, one time when i was turning 12 the day before my bday i got made at her i dont recall why but when she was getting on my nerves i finally snapped and yelled at her “I WISH YOU WERENT MY MOM AT ALL” and she snapped back and i closed my door locked it and she was banging on it trying to break it down threatening me stuff saying if i dont open the door up right now, and i got scared walking back and forth listening to her rage and when i got scared and opened it she walked at me angerily and yelled at me saying im lucky shes in my life and that theirs other children in life with no parents at all and she gripped my arm tightly and i was crying and usually everytime she heard me cry she would tell me to shut up or she’ll give me something to cry about and right now i just feel so ********ing useless and weak, my moms favorites were always my younger sister and youngest brother and she always blamed me for small inconveniences in life and i just wish she loved me as much as she does as she loves the others, she acts all nice and stuff when theirs people around but when they leave shes a ********ing demon! I just wanna run away or kill myself, shes pushed me to the point where i even started hurting myself by punching my arms and tried cutting myself, and one time my sister pushed me off the bed and i hit my head so hard on a cabinet nearby it left a bruise so noticable, she didnt even punish her! But when I accidentally pushed my brother and he hit his hit lightly i was not in the mood and she punishes me by saying i wont ever have a phone and and i can no longer go hangout with my friends, i just wish i was in another family, one that has a kind loving mother at least, and i really hated the fact that i was always treated like ******** as a kid by my mom, she even once left me in a cold bathtub while she was eating, i was screaming and crying for her to get me out and i was 4 and i didnt know how to turn off the water so i was scared and i was left there for a whole hour crying and screaming “ma get me out please its so cold!” and when my dad came home he got me out and hugged me saying hes sorry it ever happened and he was my favorite one in the family ever since, my mom didnt even look sorry i remember she laughed when she forgot me and said sorry like she didnt even mean it and she still treats me like i dont have feelings, i even try not crying when she treats me badly, i dont wanna kill myself because i got alot to lose if i do like my friends and dad and my cousins that come from my dads side of the family, and my friends are the only reason im even alive right now, if i didnt meet my best friend ever, i would have been dead right now, and im giving life another shot, but this time im asking for help, please someone help me, im tired of crying every night knowing tomorrow’s not gonna get any better as long as shes around

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 16 and my entire life I’ve had to deal with my mum and her verbal abuse. When I was kid she did hit me but now that I’m older it’s more on the verbal, emotional and mental abuse. Ever since last year I’ve feeling very suicidal and my mum makes it worse because she then says how fat I am and that I need to lose weight. Then she goes on to talk about me and my hygiene saying I stink and that people won’t want to be near me as well as me being disgusting and horrific. She’s also called me several other things which I don’t want to write down. I’m constantly terrified of her. When I was only 10 I wanted to run away and hide away forever and never deal with her. I even made a plan and nearly did, I only didn’t because I was 10 and I didn’t wake up on time to run. She’s very recently found out about me self harming and it’s just made everything even worse. She doesn’t seem to care that I’m self harming. All she says about it is that I will never be able to get a job like this and people want nothing to do with me when I act like this. She thinks it’s because I am constantly bullied at school. She was so angry at me for self harming. When she found out that I was self harming she didn’t ask why or what with. All she asked was “do you think you’ll be able to keep a job when you act like this?” She wants me to get a job during GCSE’s which has just put even more pressure on me. I’ve told her that I feel like a disappointment and that I feel everyone would be happier with me gone but every time I try to say something she brushes it off like it’s just a simple phase or says something like, “well you won’t be with those boys for much longer.” Then minutes later she would scream at me and tell how horrid I am with my attitude, looks and everything in between. She doesn’t like that I watch anime and she’s threatened to stop me from watching anything because she says I’m obsessed and that’s what’s causing me to be like this. It doesn’t help when my uncle and aunt then decide to join in and side with my mum. When she sent photos of my wrists, because I tried to slit them, to my aunt and uncle they reacted horribly and were all siding with my mum and saying stuff like: “I am not leaving (my little cousin) alone with her” which I can understand. “I won’t write a reference for her to get a job.” “Those scratches are superficial, she’s only doing this for attention. If you really want to take her to the NHS and get someone to look at her or have her sectioned.” Thats the one that really made me worse. The fact that I was accused of doing this for attention. I have hidden this for months until it accidentally got out because my mum invaded my privacy and searched through my phone. And if you don’t know what sectioned is it is being locked inside the hospital room over night with no contact to anyone, which honestly prettified me with the very idea that my family would consider that. I’ve tried several times to kill myself but she doesn’t care. All she seems to care about is me not getting a job in this state. She doesn’t even realise that she is making me feel like this. Every time she yells at me, rants about me or complains about me makes me want to die even more. She claims I am obsessed with my phone because I am always on it. Yes, I am always on my phone but that’s because it’s the only thing I enjoy in life because I’m able to talk to people who act like they care about me. Not to mention I need it for revision as I’m in GCSE’s and going to college soon. But because I’m ‘obsessed’ I am no longer allowed a phone with WiFi of any sort and the type of phone where I can’t send texts to anyone unless it’s an absolute emergency. She is basically stopping me from ever talking to any of my friends ever again. Most I will never see again after I leave school and I want to keep in contact with them. Then yesterday I was at home alone because my mum was at work. I had put the dogs in their cage as my uncle was coming round to do some building and we couldn’t have them getting in the way because they would jump all over him. After around 3 minutes of her leaving my uncle came over because he was coming to build my wardrobe and chest of draws. I let him get to it after helping to move things into the room and get him a drink. I went to the lounge with my phone and some books to do some revision. After a while of revising for the exam I had today I sat down and messaged my friends for a few minutes until I got up and took all the washing out from the washing burner machine and hung it on the line before my brother, who’s away at uni, called me and we talked for a few minutes until my aunt and little cousin came round. I had just had to deal with my little cousin the previous night and, I know this sounds rude and cruel but I find him super annoying to deal with and I was so tired because he kicked me out of my bed and made me sleep on the sofa which was not comfy, and he started to talk to my brother which I had no problem with. Then my brother said I could go on his Nintendo switch which I was very happy about and I did. I sat down with my cousin and went on it. My aunt walked in, in silence, and sat down. I said hi as did my brother. She said hi, not even looking up from her phone. Then she didn’t speak at all so I thought she was busy. She then walked out again to my uncle and after a few seconds so did my little cousin. None of them came back in so I was just sitting on the sofa trying out the game he said I could. When they left I get a message from my mum saying that I was super rude to them and that apparently I wouldn’t talk to Zach and that I hadn’t gotten off the sofa all day. Also how they hadn’t seen the dogs all day. So I got in deep trouble and screamed at because she gathered I would’ve been on my phone. Throughout the day when they had not been there I had done revision and chores. All I wanted was a bit of time to myself and I get shouted at for it for being rude and lazy. Every day when I finish school I am always terrified that I’ve done something wrong and that my mum found it and started shouting and all that stuff. Every day I fear her and am scared of what she would do. I told her this once and it ended really badly. She started screaming at me and when I went to bed to try and hide from it she came out and started to unpack her suitcase as she works on an airplane and started throwing stuff at me. It made me shake and my mum saw and this made her even more mad and threw more stuff at me. The only problem is I’ve been to the school about how mum has treated me and they then tell my mum. She will then play victim when she’s been called in and start crying and the teachers will side with her. Then when we leave I get in serious trouble and get screamed at. I can’t go to my dad because he lives 2 or 3 hours away and I still have exams. She really scares me and Shen makes everything I feel 10 times worse to the point of self harming and trying to kill myself. And this is only the tiniest thing u could write to explain what’s been happening. I can’t deal with it anymore and I don’t know what to do.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time. It must be really hard not being able to open up to your mother and her calling you dramatic.
    At NRS we offer conference calling where if you call us we can call out to your parents and help you have a conference call. Conference calling allows you to be heard and we are there to mediate the conversation and to provide support to you.
    You have mentioned running away and self-harming, we want you to know that your safety is our top concern. We are not legal experts but we do have information on the laws. If you were to runaway without your parent’s permission your parents can file a runaway report. If the police do find you they most likely would bring you back home. If you feel like self-harming you can call NAMI which is the national alliance on mental illnesses. They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI. Also another option could be talking to your school counselor about what has been going on. If you need a safe place to stay you can always call us and we can help you look for shelters or safe places to go.
    We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore your options more please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hi my name is Peyton Taylor and I am an autistic 15 year old and my mom hates me I try to open up to her and she says im dramatic. I try to keep out of self-harm or running away but I had enough. I don't know what to do please help me.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing in to the National Runaway Safeline forum board. Sounds like a very stressful and demeaning situation at home, which is making it tough for you to flourish. No one deserves to be put down like that, especially when you are making a concerted effort to support yourself and your family financially. You seem like a responsible and resourceful person, and should be proud of yourself for everything that you’ve accomplished thus far.
    If you ever think about taking your life, please do not hesitate to call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 800 273 8255 or visit their website at suicidepreventionlifeline.org for support. They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – you are not alone!
    To discuss more options, call us 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us online at 1800runaway.org. We can provide additional resources for you, as well as just a listening ear. Take care.

    -NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My mom has me, the oldest, and four daughters. While completely disregarding the fact that she can barely afford to raise her own kids, she takes on THREE MORE from child protective services. These kids have it made. They get what they want and mom defends them for not being able to live a normal life. But the life she's giving these kids is ruining mine. It's like I don't even exist anymore, except for when she needs a bill paid. She wastes all of her resources on them alone. I don't even eat at home anymore. I eat food from my job that I brought home so I actually can eat, and half the time the kids take that away from me too. I've considered setting myself on fire in front of at least my mother to show her my pain. So she'll finally realize that she wasted my potential and failed to cultivate me in any way. Any time I make a mistake I'm on the chopping block, and she just hacks away at my self-worth, when I support her financially. But if I'm to point out anything she does wrong I'm immediately a spitting image of my meth-addicted father to her. I hate that man, though I would hesitate to call him one. I would just as soon set him on fire as well so she stops modeling me after him. Like right now, if I were to bring up that I used my whole paycheck this week to pay the $110 water bill, she'd shove it in my face that she works two jobs and busts her ass. If she's gone all the time at "work" then where's all the money she'd be making. Why do I always have to pay for stuff. Of course if I didn't pay for it she'd call me Josh Jr. like she always does to tell me, I'm just like my ********ty father, which I'm not, I have a job, I'm not a meth addict, and I'm never going to have kids because I hate the heathens she raised and is trying to raise now. If I killed myself she'd realize how much she actually needs me to survive. She'd have nothing if I wasn't at home to pay for all of her ********.

    Leave a comment:

Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
Auto-Saved
x
Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
x
x
Working...
X