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My mom makes me want to kill myself

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  • Sometimes my mum shouts and shouts and shouts and it makes me angry. When’s she’s mad at me which is usually once or twice every week she repeatedly calls me stupid and idiotic and a disgrace and she says I never do anything to help he but I do and I try but she still calls me stupid and tells me that if I don’t do things I’ll have to live with my dad. It makes me want to kill myself or harm myself and I’m scared that one day I might do it. She makes me feel worthless and useless and I just want it to end

    Comment


    • ccsmod4
      ccsmod4 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

      It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything.
      We understand how difficult it must have been to speak about what you have been feeling.
      You are very brave for doing so. Good for you. Perhaps you consider talking with your father about how you feel about the situation and if there is a possibility of you staying with him. If that’s what you want. You don’t deserve to have her yell at you and call you names. It’s not your fault that she does these things.
      NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.
      Let us know how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).

      NRS is here to listen and here to help.
      Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      If you feel at risk or experiencing suicidal thoughts we urge you to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at: 1-800-273-8255

      Take care,
      NRS

  • I am young, I think, I could tell that my mother loves me, and I a love her too, but sometimes my mother and my dad, they made me wants to kill myself, they do not trust me, I can't share my day with them just like my friends, I do not know what to do, but I told my mom that I want to kill myself and she was like I don't care. I want to run away from them, hide away from them, is there anyone wants to join me? if you want to, replay me! ( my English is not good, I am still learning)

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and we are so glad you did.
      It can be frustrating to not feel trusted by your parents, we want you to know that your life is valuable. Suicide is a permanent decision to a temporary situation. If you are ever feeling suicidal or need someone to talk to there is always someone willing to talk. You can contact The National Suicide Prevention Line at: 1800-273-8255. Another option to consider is speaking to a school counselor about what is going on.
      Also you mentioned having thoughts of wanting to runaway we are not legal experts but we do have some information on the laws. If you were to leave home without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you home.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • For 15 years I’ve tried to have a relationship with my mom, I am 18 in 2 days and will have been with her for 2 years. I regret moving 3 hours away from my family but I just wanted her love. I do everything for her and even got a job to help provide even though her boyfriend makes more money than both of us, however I also clean, take care of my younger brother and our pets, while being in high school. Every day I get yelled at by both my mom and her boyfriend because I don’t do good enough to make them proud ( bonus is that I have done everything I could so that I could get into NHS but even then I wasn’t good enough). Her boyfriend is known to have anger issues and was a boxer/ gang member and lashes out at me at simple laundry being slightly wrinkled when she is at work or running errands. He scares me and makes me fear that he will end up hitting me one day if I do something terribly wrong. Every night my boyfriend has to convince me that I am not worthless and to not commit suicide but how am I supposed to feel when my own mother treats me like dirt. I also feel like my own mother is choosing her boyfriend over her own child. I just want to feel like I made her proud and that I deserve to be loved.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
      We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way by your mother and her boyfriend. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe and stay strong,
      NRS

      We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • I’m 19 and I hate my mum so much. If she died today I wouldn’t care. I’m in University, she took all my student loan money and she won’t let me live in student accommodation. For years I have put up with her physical and mental abuse. I have only two options: kill myself or run away. I have no where to run to though.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      We are so sorry to hear you are in so much pain right now. You have a right to express your feelings and we are here for you. It sounds like your mom is essentially stealing from you by taking your student loan money. You also mention your mom physically and mentally abusing you. That is absolutely unacceptable and you don't deserve anything like that. You have the right to be independent and deserve a safe and nourishing environment as you complete your studies at University.

      It concerns us when you talk about killing yourself. Suicide is an extremely serious thing to consider. We encourage you to reach out for help with these thoughts and feelings, perhaps with a school counselor or therapist. Another great resource is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org). They specialize in talking to people undergoing suicidal thoughts. You might also consider talking to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) at 1-800-950-NAMI or text NAMI to 741741. Of course, you can also call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Please do consider talking this through. It's important that you can express yourself freely.

      Since you are 19 you actually would not be considered a runaway in most US states, which means you could leave home without permission at any time. While that is an option for you we also realize that there may be financial and practical difficulties in doing so. Perhaps when you call us we can discuss more of what your options are. You definitely have more options than you may even have thought of. We really want to discuss these with you!

      You can also chat with us online via www.1800runaway.org. We are here 24/7 and are totally confidential and we never tell anyone what to do or judge them. We are on your side and we might even be able to provide you with legal resources to deal with the student loan theft as well as possible transitional living programs that help people your age get on their feet. Please know there is a way out of what you are experiencing and feeling right now: a way out that leads to a greater sense of who you are and what you can accomplish in your life.

      Please be safe. We hope to hear from you soon!

      NRS

  • Idk if anyone will reply to this, but I need advice;;

    I'm 18, I suffer with anxiety and I live with my family. My mum and dad still live together but my mum sees another man on the side that my dad (despite not liking it) already is aware of

    The first time I can imagine things turning this sour was when I was abouttt 8? I believe. Then when I was 16 and now again. 16 was the worst.

    I can't exactly tell if my mum is "toxic" or not. But the way she acts and makes me feel is toxic to me.

    She deals with a lot: siblings that looks down on her, my dad who is suffering Parkinson's and my sister and I with our struggles. I can understand that, but the way she acts about it isn't excusable anymore.

    When I was 16, my mum went through a spell with me where she would tear me down verbally, tear my dad and sister down and be very selfish about stuff. Everything was about her. It got so bad that I used to self harm and be suicidal though I was too scared to attempt anything. I was the worst id ever been and I thought it was over. But it feels like it's starting again.

    Recently I've been seeing a counciller at school for my anxiety. However when I mention her, my mum gets offended as if I rub her help in her face. "She's not your mum", "how comes you tell your counciller stuff and not me" even though that's the point of councilling. If I tell her why I'm sad it would cause an argument anyway.

    She always threatens to leave even though she never does and now is using her high blood pressure and Type 2 diabetes as what seems to be a guilt trip device- saying I caused it.

    My little sister is also going down the same path.. and asked me not to tell anyone and I've kept my word but I'm scared she will hit the same rock bottom I have and hurt herself badly. She is the one thing that keeps me sane in my house and I love her to bits; I can't afford losing her but I don't want to break her trust.

    Everytime my mum yells, it's like a trigger in me. I wouldn't call it trauma, but it feels like a deep trigger. And when we argue I get intense cutting urges.

    Cos of my anxiety I don't feel confident enough to go to uni. I would like to draw and do online commissions to get a little bit of money while fixing my physical and emotional health. However if I bring it up it causes arguments. Hell- I don't even have a bank account yet because she never let me and still won't now my counciller offered to help. Its simple to everyone else but idk what I'm doing. I'm too anxious to leave home and be independent. I've been carried through life and have no idea how to deal with it now as an adult. I'm too scared to go out and try things alone. And I can't leave home yet cos I have no idea how to live alone. I'm stuck.

    I don't beleive I can or will kill myself but this is driving me insane and I need help. But I'm too scared to get help incase it comes back to her. God forbid she knew how I felt about her in my head. I'm paranoid now that she'll somehow find this.

    But sometimes she acts normally like a MUM. and other times there's this monster. And the monster is coming back more and more often. And as much as I hate how she makes me feel, I still understand she has a nice, loving side to her. Which conflicts my feelings and my belief of what's really going on.

    I need advice...

    Comment


    • ccsmod4
      ccsmod4 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

      It sounds like you are in an emotionally tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything.
      We understand how difficult situations can become so overwhelming that it’s hard to know which way to turn. It took courage for you to reach out and tell your story.
      You are very brave for doing so. Good for you.
      It sounds like you are going to see a counselor and feel it can be beneficial but you are afraid of mom’s reactions. Seeing a counselor is a good step in learning to cope and plan for the next steps in moving forward. You are doing such a brave thing. Good for you.
      Despite everything you are feeling emotionally yourself you have concern about what you’ve learned about your sister’s feelings. It’s nice that she has an ally in you.
      Sometimes it can be helpful to talk about feelings with people who care about you.
      That’s has not been easy for you nor her. It is a sign of strength to have persevered time and time again. Good for you. Good for you both. Perhaps you might suggest to her to talk with someone as well.

      NRS is here to listen and here to help.
      Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of.
      NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.

      Let us know how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).


      We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      Take care,
      NRS

    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for reaching out today. It was brave of you to reach out and you so deserve the support you are looking for, nothing more important than your safety. If you are in the U.S., you can always reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Or please call 911 if you ever feel like you are in immediate danger. From your message, it is hard to tell if you are located a in the U.S., if you are located outside the states you can find your local hotline on this link: http://www.suicide.org/international...-hotlines.html.

      If you are located in the US, you do have the right to leave home at 18. So you can leave if home is taking too big of a toll on you. If you need local resources in your area or to talk to someone about your plan to move out, please do not hesitate to call or chat us.

      You might also consider talking to someone like a counselor about all that you have been through and your anxiety. How you are feeling know is significant, and there is help out there for you. Again, please call or chat us if you are located in the states and interested in those services: 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org.

      Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you are in the US, if you would like to talk more about your situation. We are here for you,

      NRS

  • My mom has been hitting/degrading me since like 3rd grade. Whenever I don't do something right like pass a test or put the dishes away right when they're done. Multiple times she has woken me up by hitting me. She always compares me to other people like "why aren't you skinny like her, why aren't you pretty like her, why aren't you smart like him". After all these years I'm sick and tired of dealing with this and if it doesn't stop soon I'm either gonna runaway or kill myself. She acts nicer to strangers and her animals than her own daughter. Right now I'm just a 14 year old country kid walking on eggshells so to speak so that I don't upset her. I know most people who are on this site have it worse than me but I'm tired of having to say sorry for things I didn't do and I'm tired of making excuses to my friends why I almost always show up hurt. I also can't call CPS because 1 she broke my phone and we don't have a home phone and 2 no one except my friends and teammates believe me when I tell them about her. What should I do because I'm running out of options.

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds really exhausting to feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

      Your mom's actions are unacceptable and you do not deserve to be abused. You are really resilient and we believe you when you say that you are being abused. It sounds like you are interested in reporting the abuse to CPS but have been facing a roadblock to doing so because you do not have access to a phone. Some states offer online abuse reporting. You can find out more about how to report in your state by going to https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report via our chat feature if that’s the route you are considering.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • I feel like my mother doesn’t care about anyone but herself and it’s not fair I’m tired of being here I’ll go anywhere I don’t want to be home she makes everything about herself it’s not fair I’m over it She’s put me through to much and still continues to take her anger out on me I feel like one day I’m going to get so mad and just end everything and I really don’t care any more I don’t care if anyone is going to be sad I’m tired of this I want to leave I can’t be here anymore it’s draining it stops me from doing so much with my life I see such a bright future for myself but she’s in the way she’s always there to make me feel bad about myself and it’s not okay that’s not how you treat your kid she never cares about my feelings I’m genuinely don’t caring about hers

    Comment


    • ccsmod8
      ccsmod8 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there –

      Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum. Hopefully by helping you and giving you support in your crisis, there are many other youth in your situation that can also be helped.

      We do want to say that it must be very hard for you to have to go through all of this. It sounds like a very stressful situation for you at home to the point where your thoughts drift towards completing suicide or hurting yourself. That is a very serious thing to be thinking about. If you are ever close to hurting yourself like you said you can call out to the police for some direct services, they can come by and check up on you and make sure that you are okay. You shouldn't be afraid to tell other people what you are thinking about doing especially if you are thinking about hurting yourself. You are certainly not alone in this and there are many many people that are here to help you. A good resource might be to call the ‘National Suicide Hotline’ for someone to talk about what thoughts you might be thinking at the time. Their number is 800.273.TALK. They also have an online chat service that might be of help to you especially if you don’t feel like calling in (https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/).

      It sounds like you might be trying to find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now or talk about your bright future. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse.

  • My mom is the most toxic person i know, she yells at me and slaps me and then 5 minutes later acts as if nothing has happened. I can’t deal with it anymore, all I hear is that “everything is my fault” i don’t wanna cause anymore problems. I think it’d be better if i just ended it. Then she’d be happier, everyone would be, because everything is my fault. I’ve started to believe that, I see myself at someone who is fui hong other people’s life’s now, i isolate myself at home everyday and even my sister hates me. I can’t do this anymore

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      We are sorry you are going through all that. You don't deserve to be abused by your mom, which is what it sounds like. If you'd like to file an abuse report you have that right. You can file through your state's child abuse reporting hotline or through Child Help (www.childhelp.org) at 1-800-422-4453. You deserve to be heard and taken seriously.

      Some of the language you use concerns us because it sounds suicidal. Please know that you have other options. It's probably a good idea to talk things through with someone you trust: perhaps a teacher, counselor, relative, or anyone that you feel safe with. You also can reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. They also have a website: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Things CAN get better. And you don't have to face this alone.

      We welcome you to call us anytime to discuss what your options are or even if you just want to vent. We are here 24/7, are confidential, and we never tell anyone what to do. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. Again, what you are going through is not your fault. Your feelings have value. We hope to hear from you soon.

      Best wishes,
      NRS

  • I hate myself Bc every day I try to make my family members happy and about once every other week I take things that aren’t mine and they act like I killed someone. I don’t know what to do, I’m 18 and they always tell me that they’re going to kick me out so I’m like always afraid Bc I’m a jr in high school and if they kick me out I’ll drop out of high school and I’ll be homeless. I’ll literaly have nothing to live for. Don’t reply by saying everyone means something and ******** like that Bc your just doing your job and what people expect u to say. I truly want to just end everything. God made a mistake bringing me into this life.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are feeling pretty down about your relationship with your family members and they threaten to kick you out. That sounds really stressful to deal with and your feelings are valid. It seems like all this stress has made you feel like you are mistake and you shouldn't be here. Those are some really significant feelings and you so deserve to be supported during this difficult time. It's clear you are not wanting to hear this, but we need you to know that you are not a mistake. There is hope for you to move past this, and you are worth just as much as everyone else.

      If you feel like you are in immediate danger of harming yourself please call 911. Also know that you can always call or chat us or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline if you would like to talk to someone https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or www.1800RUNAWAY.org. Your safety is incredibly important.

      It sounds like you are feeling like you might get kicked out. Just so you know, if you do get kicked out we can always look for shelters or transitional living programs in your area. If you haven't already, you might also ask any friends or family members if you can live with them if you do need a safe place to go. Please call or chat us if you would like to talk through your housing options or need any support 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org.

      Best,

      NRS

  • I really have stress, I can't deal with my mom. She makes me learn everything and still insults and hits me. Today my mom forced me to learn although it is on school holiday. She said if I remembered this from last 2 years. I said barely and she yelled at me and she kept trying to say stuff like, "wow you have no responsibility." "I wasted so much money" I seriously want to die. She makes me think I'm a dummy that she can do whatever she wants. I'm only 11 and I think she's one of those tiger mom's. She doesn't care if I said "I want to die." She gives me stress and she blames me even when I argue with my friend and I did nothing wrong. She's like one of those tiger moms. She talks trash about me and doesn't even care about me. She says I'm too addicted to social media and games because 1. School holiday. 2. Quarantine. She expects me to read some book about life. She's making me remember things I don't even know and won't affect my life. I want to die so badly. I wish my mom stopped comparing me too and stopped because some monster. I think I should just jump out of the window and wait for a new life to begin.

    Comment


    • ccsmod4
      ccsmod4 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We are sorry that things are not going well between you and your mom
      You don’t deserve to have harsh things said to you or be made to feel suicidal.
      It seems that it’s been pretty hard for you. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by what has been going on. It also sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change.

      Your safety and well-being is important.
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

      Sometimes when communication breaks down with someone you are close to you making it difficult to know just where to turn. You did well reaching out today. We would like you to know NRS is here to listen and here to help. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of.

      Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      also here is a link and number you might consider looking into for crisis services. SAMHSA 1-800-985-5990 http://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/disa...tress-helpline
      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe and stay strong,
      NRS
      Last edited by ccsmod4; 04-14-2020, 04:41 AM.

  • hi,
    i want to prepare for my upsc..and im not that supported here at home..they did pay for my online class,but they always pull my spirits down by saying that i"m unfit,a failure and that i have bron to just distroy things,and i have been ill treated by many people..and i have a few illness,it has distroyed my self esteem and everything i bear,above all i was sexually abused by my own cousin..i:m not able to seep at nighys..no one to share pain..i just want to live life at my means as long as im alive

    im not able to tell more im tooo broke to pour it out

    Comment


    • Hello,
      Thank you for reaching out during this difficult time. We are sorry to hear you don’t feel supported by your family at home, you have the right to feel safe and wanted! You are not a failure! You mentioned you were thinking about hurting yourself. The National Suicide Hotline https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ is a good resource for talking through your problems. You also mentioned you were sexually abused by a family member. This can cause lots of unseen issues including trouble sleeping, low-self esteem and many other issues. This was not your fault. The Rape Abuse Incest National Network https://www.rainn.org/ is another good resource for you. Please reach out to them if you are feeling like hurting yourself or needing additional support. You can also contact us at any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you would like more options. Please stay safe and reach out any time.
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • My mom makes me want to kill myself ive never been a sad person and I’m only 14 but the constant pain and struggle I go through with her is the worst she’s mean to my brothers and she yells at me and makes me feel worthless and I’m a male and I’m scared to talk about it cause of embarrassment but it hurts it does every day I wish I could go live with my grandma again, I play Xbox with my best friend who lives by my grandma and I love him to death I’ve known him for like 8 years but we play gta everyday and he’s the reason I could never kill myself but I feel like it would ease the pain to be gone my mom thinks I’m ok but I’m not I had a relationship that kinda broke me down a little bit when it ended and I can’t talk to my mom about it because she makes fun of me and I can’t deal with that drugs are my way I will never leave them

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello There,
          Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now, and we want you to know that we are here to help.
          We are sorry to hear that the relationship between you and your mother isn’t good. One option to consider is to try and talk with your mom about how you are feeling. We know you mentioned that she makes fun of you when you try and talk to her and you do not deserve that. At NRS we offer conference calling where if you call us we can call out to your mother and help you have a productive conversation. Conference calling helps the conversation go smoothly and we are there for support.
          We know you mentioned feeling sad and thoughts of suicide, you do not have to deal with these feelings alone. We want you to know that you are worth living and that your life is valuable. Suicide is a permanent decision to a temporary situation. If you ever need someone to talk to or having suicidal thoughts, please call The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: 1800-273-8255. There is always someone willing to listen and willing to provide support.
          You mentioned using drugs to deal with all of this, you probably already know that drugs are an unhealthy way to cope with everything. Drug addiction is a serious disease, if you feel you need help pleas contact SAMHSA (substance abuse and mental health services association). They can be reached at 877-726-4727.
          We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are here to listen and here to help 24/7. Best of luck!
          NRS

      • Ok so I’m 15 and I haven’t decided or anything but sometimes I have suicidal thoughts because of my mother. She always takes her anger out on me, There is no physical abuse but sometimes when she shouts at me or criticises me I feel like I want to end it all. She says I can’t do anything sometimes and it feels as painful as a knife in the back.. When she shouts I talk back sometimes saying that if I had a choice to kill you or myself, I would kill myself because she would have to live with the guilt. This is nothing serious because it’s all talk but it feels good to say it in the open world.. When she shouts at me I normally feel like running away and starting a new life but I know that impossible.. On top of all this my mother doesn’t hear herself. She doesn’t know how one of her scoldings digs so deep in to my heart... It’s like mental torture... My mother keeps saying that when she is gone I will regret it but in my mind when she is gone the home will be more peaceful... Whenever my mother goes on vacation everyone else in the house is relieved and at peace when she returns the hurricane starts all over again...

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for sharing all that with us. We honor your feelings. You certainly don't deserve the sort of torment your mom is putting you through. That's totally unfair, unkind, and uncalled for. It sounds like she isn't even aware of all the damage that she's causing. If you feel that what she says is emotional or verbal abuse, you have the right to file a report with your state's child abuse reporting hotline or through www.childhelp.org at 1-800-422-4453.

          We are pretty concerned when you talk about killing yourself -- even if it's "just talk." That's pretty serious and clearly is coming from a place of pain.. If you ever feel suicidal, please reach out for the help you deserve. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is staffed by people trained to talk about suicide, so they are a great resource. You can reach them at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call 1-800-273-8255. You can also reach out to us anytime to talk about suicide or anything else on your mind. We are confidential and open 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chat at www.1800runaway.org. We want you to be safe. Things can get better and you have many options besides suicide.

          It's great you are opening up about all this. You have a right to be seen and heard. If you ever want to talk about what's going on, please call or chat with us. We're here to listen, here to help.

          Be safe,
          NRS

      • hi so im female17 turning 18 and need help/advise as i cant get any irl.
        before i turned 10yrs: my dad would rape me in my sleep and id tell my mother she didnt care, my mother chased me with a knife a few times but never got me other than a cut on my arm when i ran under the bed to get away (she said if i were to kill myself she will kill me first as i tried hanging/suffocation when i was 7-9yrs old) she’d beat me over every little thing esp in public, both parents tell me im an accident, lock me in a room with no light food water for over 24hrs, my dad would beat me and lock me in the under stair cupboard for day or two. however my mother would keep me home from school to spend time with her cause she was lonely but would be nasty to me (my dad would beat her 24/7 as he is an alcoholic and drug addict). also do not know any other people than parents and have one younger sibling and one older both favoured over me...they got hit every now and then thats it.
        after 10yrs old:
        still getting hit by both, dad still a drinker/drug user but doesnt hit my mum anymore but he has 4 baby mums and still sexually abuses me til 17 (watching me in showers still, leaving inapropriate pictures on my phone, watching me dress/undress, watching me thru curtains even though im dressed or asleep). haven’t got any friends because i went to a racist school who were rude as i don’t come from privillage and from the hood. (all these things continue til 17)
        13yrs:
        starting to feel suicidal again, hearing voices and seeing things, heavily; smoking weed, drinking, using mdma, prescription drugs n partying etc. staying out house late nights not returning home because i was too busy getting in police trouble (cases, arrests etc). i have really bad anxiety i cant leave the house without being high or i feel too ugly or worthless to get out of bed. and also in a emotionally/verbally abusive relation ship til 16. kicked out of high school 2 years before gratuation and this whole time period was a sucide mission

        16yrs:
        tried killing myself never worked drug tolerance too high and sick of it i wanna live. but cant get a job (legally on paper do not have any qualifications and cant get none because anxiety) come to find out im a paranoid schizophrenic so im house bound for life and need a carer but do not have. father left house and mother doesnt hit shes just more emotionally abusive than ever. self pity parties, one minute she loves me next she wants me to ‘******** off and die’ but another says she needs me. she is very lonely has no friends or family either. (sibilings moves out when i was 14 with relationship partners)
        not on drugs, no legal trouble just saying in a 8 by 12 bedroom gained weight from depression and just numb dont do anything.

        17: things are still the same however i wanna live life more than ever but i leave my bedroom and im now in a negative bubble, i have nobody (no friends at all or any social life, no family members as they do not like us because my mum left them for my dad years ago). but i cant physically do anything like get a job, work & earn, see people, socialise or get away from my toxic mother as i do not have the tools or can aquire the tools to do so. genuinely feel like theres no point of even living because i sit up waiting for the next day watching time pass numb. i do not want to die but what else do i have? please give advice. dont have to tools other than this online option to speak to anyone. only time i spoke to someone and was able an old friend when i was 15, her mother professionaly and diagnosed me with paranoia schizophrenia but only spoke to her for a few moths as i cut that friend off she was very racist towards others and lived far anyway .

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there, thanks for reaching out. Sounds like you have been through more than anyone should ever have to go through, and you have been thinking about killing yourself for a long time now. We are so glad you are still here with us, your life is invaluable and you so deserve to make it through this and to have the opportunity to heal.

          It looks like you might be based in the UK, and if that is case we do not want to give you any misinformation about resources and options since are knowledge base is limited to the U.S. However, there are resources more local to you who are similar to us. We encourage you to reach out to them, you so deserve the support you are looking for:

          Local suicide prevention hotline:
          https://www.samaritans.org/

          Local Child Help hotlines:
          https://www.childline.org.uk/
          https://www.themix.org.uk/

          Best,

          NRS
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