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My mom makes me want to kill myself

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  • I am beyond scared of my mom. Her entering my room makes me jump and my heart accelerate. I have never been physically abused but a change in tone sends my heart skyrocketting. I have been told that my mom and I have similar personalities so our fights are ruthless. I always lose. Somehow everything bad that happens comes back to be my fault. I am a high acheiving student yet nothing I do satisfies my mother. When I pulled all nighters she would be mad that didn't sleep. When I started to prioritize more of my mental health she went into rages over my high A's turning to low A's. My effort has always been full in everything I do. I am terrified to do less. I can not go anywhere without texting her where I am every hour on the hour. When I go to practice the first thing she does when I get home is yell at me that I wasted time not doing my college apps and that she does so much for me and it is all going to waste. She makes me feel useless and scared daily. She wants me to take ownership of my own things, gets made when she doesn't like the essay I wrote even though I didn't ask her to read it and is absolutely horrifying when I don't update the family calendar even though I maintian a personal detailed calendar at her request. I have an eye twitch from stress and suffer from headaches as a result of my constant elevated heart rate. I am afraid to talk to her about anything because she gets mad when I hint at anything negative that could possibly be related to her. I just want to dig a hole and die. I don't know if I can make it to college. I am an impulsive person and I'm afraid I might just do something one day.

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds like your mom has unreasonable standards and trying to live up to them is exhausting and overwhelming. You shouldn't have to be so anxious when you are at home. You mentioned that sometimes you just want to die and are afraid that you might do something one day. It seems like you may be alluding to suicide. We care a lot about your safety, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time.

      You brought up that your mom has not been welcoming or open to conversations where you explain how her pressure is affecting you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • I am 17 and see no point to life anymore.
    Im not the best student although I try my best with everything that I do. But for my parents it's not enough. I'm constantly criticized on my grades, how I dress and my eating habits, so much to the point that I start skipping meals to lose weight even though there's not much weight to lose.
    My mother is my biggest critic, whenever she gets angry she tells me how much of a bad person I am, what a horrible human being and daughter I am, and what did she do to deserve a child like me. But she often gets mad over the smallest things.
    I make mistakes too, but as a teenager that is a given although my mother never let's it go.
    She accuses me of stealing, lying, and smoking constantly when I don't smoke at all.
    She downgrades me so much and often threatens that she will kick me out to the live on the streets if I don't do exactly what she wants.
    I try my best to please her but nothing is ever good enough.
    She's made me hate myself so much to the point where I don't even want to be here anymore. I constantly feel so depressed and like there's absolutely no point to life. I've tried talking to her many times but she never wants to hear what I have to say.
    I once told her that I was depressed and didn't want to be alive anymore and she proceeded to say I was just looking for attention and smacked me.
    I'm planning on leaving when I'm 18 but I don't know if I'll even make it till my 18th birthday.
    I just don't know what to do anymore.
    I'm so ready to die.

    Comment


    • Hello! Thank you so for reaching out. We appreciate you wanting to seek help.

      To begin with, you mentioned that you were telling your mom how you were feeling depressed, wanted to die, and she disregarded you. We care about your safety and well-being, and if you are still having thoughts about wanting to die, you may reach out to the national suicide prevention hotline at 1800) 273-8255. The hotline would be able to provide you with any resources that you need, in order to, prevent any undesired thoughts or feelings. You can also reach out to the national alliance in mental illness at 1800) 950-6264. If you need anyone else to talk to about what you’re going through, you can give us a call at 1800) 786-2929.

      In the same way, you also mentioned that your mom is constantly putting you down, and you’ve begun to have self-doubt about yourself. It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation, and it’s really brave of you to be reaching out for help. You matter, and are worth a lot. For whatever reason you find yourself being kicked out of your home, and need a place to stay, you can text the word safe and your location to 44357. The national safe place will send you a location to go to, and a crisis worker will go out to you if necessary. The homeless shelter directory as well will assist you in finding shelters around your area, and their phone numbers will be listened on their as well. No one should have to go through the verbal/ physical abuse you’ve been going through at home. An option to consider would be to maybe file a report with child protective services. If that’s something that you’re interested in, you can reach out to child help at 1800) 422-4453. The hotline may be able to assist you with your case, and let you know what proper steps to take next after you’ve talked with them further.

      Again, thank you so much for reaching out. We care about your well-being, and want the best for you, If you need further assistance, or want us to call somewhere on your behalf, you can reach out to us at 1800) 786-2929. Best of luck!
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • My mom makes me want to kill myself.


        Hello, I am a 15 year old, of who has suffered from depression for nearly four years. Kindergarten, first, and second we all okay. I got decent grades. But then, everything changed when she started to crack down on me. She began grounding me, even when I got a C. I pleaded to her, that I tried my best, and even gave her proof. She didn’t believe me. As the years went by, I became more and more afraid to say anything. I became a liar. I lied about my sexuality, my feelings, and how much I ‘loved her’. Now, some parents may say, oh it’s just a teenage & daughter thing. No. No it isn’t. No daughter wants to wish death upon themselves because of their mother. I know she wants the best for me, but it doesn’t show. She guilt trips me, compares me to other kids, in which when I have a comeback, I somehow feel terrible. I once confessed at the age of 14 that I didn’t want to live with her. She then began to spew this stupid story about her past life, how she was abused and treated horribly. I can’t quite depict the details of it. A year back, my sister had a child, of which my mom now hardly sees for how ********ty she’s been to my brother. Soon he left as well. And she can’t help to think why they left. She just hates being wrong. Loathes the fact that she sometimes never gets her way. At times, yes, she does go out of her way to do things, but it rare. She’s made me sob in front of my friend. She’s barged into my room and screamed at me. Sometimes I’d be so afraid, I’d hyperventilate. She gave me a phone, to which she thinks I’m addicted. No. I’m not. I hide behind a screen because I’m terrified of talking with her. It’s like my safety blanket... Whenever she comes home, my content mood drops. I feel as if I can’t be myself. That I have to slap on this happy facade. We’ve had our ups and downs. She claims she will get better, but she never does. To this day, I still want to live with my dad. I don’t care if he lives in an RV. Hell, even a box. I just can’t stand her, it kills me on the inside.
        Last edited by ccsmod4; 10-29-2019, 02:16 AM.

        Comment


        • ccsmod4
          ccsmod4 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi,
          Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

          It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything.
          We understand how difficult it must have been to speak about the things that have been going on between you and your mom also how it has made you feel.
          You are very brave for doing so. Good for you. It is not your fault that she treats you the way she does. You don’t deserve that. It sounds like you have become so frustrated with her behavior that you have had thoughts of suicide.
          NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.
          You might feel like you are alone at this time but you are not. Sometimes it might help to reach out to family or friends, even a teacher or counselor at school.
          Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

          Let us know how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).


          NRS is here to listen and here to help.
          Sometimes having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

          If you are feeling depressed or having suicidal thoughts, we encourage you to contact the National Suicide prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

          Stay strong and take care,
          NRS

      • My mom straight up kicked me because she said that She told me to unload the dishwasher which I already did and when I confronted her about she says she didn't kick me because there was no bruise. I have threatened to take my life or runaway multiple times and she doesn't care. She said that she would call my job and make me quit which doesn't even make since because somehow Im not responsible even though I've got good grades, Im a good athlete and I do most of the chores in the house. My little sister is a ********** who gets everything she wants. She's 14 and has a phone and I'm sixteen when I ask my mom why she favors my little sister she says she doesn't even though my little sister never does her chores, is failing her classes, constantly talks back to mom. I hate them both so much. And my mom kicking me hasnt been the first time she's hit me. Once in the car we were listening to music that none of us liked and my sister turned it to something worse and then I turned it to an actual good station my mom punched me in the arm and it left pretty dark bruise. Im scared that if I ever punch back I wont be able to stop until they're lifeless I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE.

        Comment


        • ccsmod3
          ccsmod3 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are having a rough time. It must be frustrating being in a household were you don’t feel appreciated. We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
          Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.We hope to hear from you soon.

      • My mom makes me want to die I hate her so much and I want her to die

        Comment


        • ccsmod13
          ccsmod13 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is always available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Reaching out to a school counselor or another adult that you trust could also be a good outlet for you as well. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

          It can definitely be quite difficult when the adults in our lives are not supportive like they are supposed to be. You deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel safe and happy. We truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time and we are here to listen and help with what is going on. Do not hesitate to reach out if you would like to talk more about your situation and brainstorm some options together. You can call us at 800-786-2929 or use our online chat services at 1800runaway.org.

          We look forward to hearing from you soon,
          NRS

      • My mom makes me want to kill myself, I’m 23 years old and struggling to get out of her house. I have a boyfriend who stays with me on occasion at my mother’s house and tries to help me but to no avail.

        My mom is just the worst, if things are not done in the manner she likes or when she wants, she goes into these ballistic rages where she screams so loud that my neighbors could hear her perfectly. Saying I’m a good for nothing loser, I’m pathetic, my boyfriend is going to leave me and that he deserves better, I’m useless, I’m a piece of ******** and a mistake. If I try to walk away or ignore her, she gets into my face and starts yelling at me even more.

        She demands that the house be clean EVERYDAY as in conducting a major cleaning everyday before I go to work; dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping, dusting, scrubbing and the whole works. BEFORE I GO TO WORK. Which is only a couple of hours after I wake up, normally which is 9:00 am.

        I don’t know what to do anymore, she berates on a daily basis and I have no wish to live anymore if this continues. My boyfriend tries to help me by being supportive, help me clean or try to appease her. But my patience in this environment is running thin, I can’t take this anymore and I don’t think I should have to endure this. Parents are supposed to be nurturing, supportive or even kind but it seems like I was given a raw deal in life.

        I’m just starting to feel more and more like a mistake everyday, like life would be better if I wasn’t around anymore.

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello There,

          Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going on in your life.
          It seems like you are dealing with a tough situation and no one deserves to be insulted and we are sorry you are dealing with that.
          You mentioned wanting to kill yourself which is a permanent decision to a temporary situation. We want you to know that you are valuable, and it seems like there are people who do care about you. If you are ever feeling suicidal and need someone to talk to you can contact The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at: 1800-273-8255.
          Also it is great that you have your boyfriend for support and that he can sometimes stay with you, it is helpful to have someone for support. You are at a legal age where you can move out one thing to consider would be to save up so that you can afford to get a place. Another option could be to see if living with your boyfriend would be an option for you.
          We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to talk more about what is going on please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
          NRS
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