planning to runaway soon, but scared

[Spiritwolf914]

I've always had a really strained and stressful relationship with my family, and its gotten pretty bad before...like to the point where i was severly depressed. Lately I've just been feeling like a pushover and a burden to them. I cant find a job, i cant afford school, i have no friends, and my mother and i are constantly fighting. So here comes the big issue...my boyfriend and i are going to a convention in California, we live pretty far away from each other too, he's in WA and im in TX. He wants me to fly back with him, so i can settle there and get a job...but im scared his mom wont like me, and im scared of bringing more trouble and chaos because thats what i tend to do. Its all a scary thing to think about, but im honestly tired of being here and hating life. Im 18 now so they cant really do anything, but im still afraid of them disowning me and looking down on me and such. Im scared of leaving my norm behind. Its all hectic and my anxiety was pretty bad at first, but im starting to accept the idea and the anxiety is going away. I just wanted your opinion on the matter. I know it might seem brash and stupid, but im just having no luck here. My mom was already thinking about making me live with my dad and i just moved from there a year ago after some very traumatic events in my life...nobody wants me. I cant stand them and they cant stand me. They look down on me, because i cant find a job and they see me as lazy and wont succeed and im tired of it. I just want to be happy.

[ccsmod15]

Re: planning to runaway soon, but scared

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We know it takes great courage to be able to reach out about your situation. It sounds like a lot is going on with your family and it sounds like you feel like your relationship with them is stressful. We know this can be a really hard situation to be in. You mentioned considering living with your boyfriend but it seems like there’s some hesitation around that option. We’re happy to talk through your options.

You mentioned being severely depressed in the past, and we have resources that may be of use to you such as counseling. The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance also may have some helpful resources for you, here is the website: http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/Page...?pagename=home

Ultimately, the decision on whether to move in with your boyfriend or not is not one we can make for you. There might be things to consider like where you would be living and if you’d be comfortable there, how you could support yourself, things you would bring, etc. One thing that may be helpful is to make a list of pros and cons to either option.

It is up to you on whether you feel like this is a realistic and safe option for you or not. We are happy to further discuss the situation with you via chat or if you call into our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are open 24/7, so someone will always be able to take your call. Stay safe and best of luck. Please reach out to us if there is any way we can further support you.

Take Care,

NRS