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  • I want to live with someone else

    I used to live with my mom, but now I live with my aunt, and I'm still not happy. Everyone leaves (I do online school) so it is just boring.
    Whenever I go out to hang out with my aunt, uncle, and cousins, they ignore me most of the time. They are also struggling with bills and food.
    I feel like the extra they didn't ask for. I mean, I love them and they love me, but I don't know if I can live with them anymore.
    They are having a really hardtime with money, and if I left, then it wouldn't be as bad. I want to live with my other aunt, who doesn't have
    this problem. She also stays at home so she could help me, and I would be as lonely. I just feel more loved at her house, too. I feel like I am being selfish,
    and I just hate this feeling. I'm afraid to ask anyone about it because I feel like they would hate me... I just don't know what to do. I know
    this isn't as bad as some of the other people on here, but I just need advice...

  • #2
    Re: I want to live with someone else

    Thank you for writing to us here at NRS. It sounds like you and your family are going through a tough time right now. We’re so sorry to hear that. It’s great that you’re considering your feelings as well as your aunt, uncle, and cousin’s. It must be difficult for them struggling with money, but it sounds like they care about you and helping you.
    It sounds like you’d prefer to live with your other aunt who could spend more time with you and who you get along with really well. That’s great. Maybe you could tell your aunt and uncle how you’re feeling about the situation and that it may be time for you to move along to live with your other aunt. If they are looking out for your best interest, we’re sure they will be happy to let you do what you need to do.
    If you would like to talk about this more, please give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. One of our volunteers can talk to you about your situation and help you come up with even more detailed plans for your future.
    We’re here to listen. We’re here to help.
    Best,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I just want to leave

      Is this site strictly cofidential even if i say some really bad stuff? You wont contact anyone besides me right? My parents dont understand me. I get harsh punishments when i dont want to do something that they want. I cant talk to anyone. I feel alone. I keep having flashbacks of when they told me too put on a movie and i didnt hear them the first time and then they second time i heard them they yelled at me so i just rolled my eyes and went to go put on the movie. My dad followed me with the belt and started beating me with the metal part of it. It hurt soo much i yelled out telling him to stop but he never did. I could barely move one of my hands for a few days. 2 fingers were bruised and my back was cober in bruises. They always think there right. I was so mad because about 20 minutes later after i tries to heal my wounds they made me apoligize for making me hit them. Who does that?!?! My mom doesnt care about me either. She kicked me out of the house one time. The only thing she cares about is whether i embarrass her. She calls me very mean and inappropraite words and tells me that she doesnt want me in this house.She doesnt understand me.Money cant buy me happiness. She doesnt understand that either. Everytime i try and talk to them they think im exagerrating and tell me to just stop. They never think its there fault.I have never asked them for anything exvept to play on a soccer team because soccer is a way to take out all my anger and it just makes me happy. Then they took it away from me and i feel like they blew up my heart and i just feel like im going crazy. I thinking of living with one of my friends. I dont want to be in that house anymore. I feel like running away is the ONLY option. Whats the worst that could happen to me living over there? What would happen if the cops find me? I tried to stay positive but i cant keep playing pretend anymore. I feel like i should become more violent and stand up to them but it 2 vs 1. What should i do?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I just want to leave

        Hello,
        The National Runaway Safeline forum is a safe space and we thank you for reaching out to us.
        It sounds like you are dealing with an extremely difficult living situation, and we do not blame you for exploring other living arrangements. Abuse, no matter the type, is never ok, and you deserve to live in a safe environment. We are not here to tell you what to do, but we are happy to explore options- One option is to report this abuse to your local police or department of family services. Child Help USA is a great resource for abuse report questions and connecting you to the right department- you can reach them at 1800-422-4453. If you are still unsure or would like help, please give us a call and we can go into further details or assist with making the call.
        A strong support system is helpful when going through tough times, and we are more than happy to provide help and support. Have you discussed your family situation/abuse with any trustworthy adults (school, relatives, etc)? You mentioned you would like to live with your friend and how running away feels like the only option. We want you to know that you cannot be charged with running away, but depending on your age, your parents could file a runaway report. This means, if you are found by the police, they would be required to return you to your parents. Granted, each police station handles this situation differently.
        We would be happy to discuss your action plan and go over any questions or concerns. It takes courage to reach out for help, and we are happy you did.
        Best of luck,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          I'm basically in an "abusive relationship" with my mother

          I'm a 16 year-old living with my mother, sister, and my mother's boyfriend. We are all crammed into one single hotel room, which sucks. It sucks because i walk around the room because my mom doesn't want him looking at me, so she had me put up a tent (you know the ones you use to make as a little kid). I have to rely on my little sister (she's 9 by the way) to get me food and other things, she gets to do whatever she wants in the room, she is not doesn't have to stay in the tent like i do. My sister doesn't even get me food sometimes, so i stave until she's fed up with my begging. I feel trapped. I'm embarrassed to tell anyone what's happening. My mom is physical, mentally, and emotionally abusive. Whenever I make a mistake she becomes irritated and mean. Up until I was 15 I did not defend myself from her strikes. Most of the times she yells and name calls me, and it really hurts because it my mother. She accuses me of trying to be with her boyfriend even through i told her numerous times to break up with him because he is no good. All her boyfriend does is cheat, eat up all the food, and make her mad which causes her to lash out on me (sometimes my sister). She has dragged me by my hair, hit me in the back of my head with her fist and a crutch(her boyfriend broke her foot when they were fighting),she tried to stomp on my face one time when she came home drunk(someone called the cops and i had to stay with my grandma for the night when she still lived in the VA), and one time she choked me to the where i almost blacked-out and a bunch of saliva was coming out of my mouth(After she did that she gave me a hug and i think she said sorry, but that doesn't make up for her actions). When her and her boyfriend broke up one of many times, she went out and came back really late and really drunk. She attacked and said really hurtful things to my sister and i, i kicked her into my desk where my computer was all she did was get back up even more infuriated, we stayed awake all the night afraid for our lives. When she is done beating me she would buy things that I like, but would never apologize. My mom is black and i am white, she tries to use me(she called the cops on her boyfriend and told me to tell them that he touched me, but he didn't). I've tried looking for a job so i could get away for awhile, but none have accepted my application. I've become quite depressed and insecure. I find it hard to get up in the morning and do the things that once brought me joy. It's hard to put on a smile. People tell me to smile, i say what for? I tell myself i have 2 more years until i graduate..but then what? No one was there to teach me how to become an adult. I'm lost, I'm suicidal(but i don't have the balls to pull it off), and i wanna run away but i have no where to run to. I would feel like a nuisance if i asked my friends if i could stay with them. I told her repeatedly to give me up..she told me that no one wants me, i think she keeps me for the welfare. I don't want my sister to get taken away if i tell some one because she seems ok with it. i just can't take be around my mother it makes me have flashbacks to when we fight.She lies on me when she tells people and she makes me lie too. she has hit me so much the it doesn't really hurt, the fact that she is my mother hurts me so much more. I was thinking about getting emancipated but i don't have a job yet.All of this stress is taking a toll on my academics.There are to many things to tell you but my hands are cramping.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I'm basically in an "abusive relationship" with my mother

            Hello there, thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you have been through so much with your mom beating you and forcing you to stay in a tent. We are so sorry you are going through this, you do not deserve to be treated like this at all. You deserve so much more and we want to help you as best we can.

            You mentioned not wanting to tell anyone about what is going on, because you do not want your sister to be removed from your mom’s care. That is understandable that you are looking out for her, you seem like a really caring person. Do you think your sister would be safe if she stayed with your mom? Even though she says she is okay with it, would you feel comfortable leaving her there? It is also important to keep your safety in mind as well as you sister’s safety. You do have the right to report the abuse and neglect you are enduring to child protective services. If they find that your home is highly dangerous they will remove you. Between your mother choking you and trying to stomp on your face, not giving you enough food, beating you, and forcing you to stay in a tent, it sounds like you might be removed. Your sister may or may not be removed as well. If you have questions about reporting, Child Help USA is an organization staffed with child advocates who are experts on reporting. Their hotline number is 1-800-422-4453 if you want to get more information about reporting. If you would like help reporting you can always call us, or another option is telling a school counselor to report. You can also call 911 or go straight to the police if you feel like you are in danger.

            It sounds like all of this has taken a really big toll on you and you are feeling suicidal. It is so understandable that you are hurting this much; no one deserves to go through what you are going through. You mentioned that you don’t think you could do it, but if you are ever feeling in immediate danger from these feelings please call 911. Also, you can always call or chat us if you need to talk about how you are feeling. We are here to support you and help in any way we can. Another hotline you can talk to is the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. We also have a database of counseling services is that is something you might be interested in; please call or chat for those.

            It also sounds like you are interested in emancipation, but you don’t have a job. That might be difficult for you because it can be a timely and costly court process where you would have to prove that you are financially self-sufficient. If you call or chat us we can talk more about emancipation requirements if you are interested in that.

            We value you and we are concerned for your safety. We strongly suggest that you call or chat us if possible so we can brainstorm your options with you so you can better stay safe.

            We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you and your sister the best.

            -NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              I’m not in a abusive household, but my parents really struggle with money. My mom and her boyfriend argue all the time and I really want to move in with her to get a break fr just a week or two and her mom said yes, my step mom hates me and my dad just lets my stepmom say whatever she wants to me please help I don’t know how to ask if I can stay with her for a week or two

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi there,

                Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation so we're glad you asked for help. It can be difficult to have a conversation with her if she’s unwilling to engage with you and only yells or gets angry. Sometimes it can be helpful to have another adult around when you’re trying to talk to her so that they can stand up for you and try to keep the conversation calm and fair. That person could be a guidance counselor, other family member, or any other adult you trust. Here at NRS, we also offer a conference call service and can help you have that conversation with her. Our number is 1-800-786-2929. You can call us 24/7.

                Best,

                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  I want to live with somebody else mom my dad and Mom got divorced when I was like 7 and he met someone new who is now his fiancé he lost the house we had and his fiancé went to live with her parents and me my little sister and I went to live with our dad and his mom then we went to our uncles and then to our aunts and then to our own place then to my fathers dad and then to my uncles wife’s parents and we got in a fight and I went to my older sister who is in the air forces best high school friend and lived with her then I went to my boyfriends mom which he didn’t live with to my uncles wife’s parents and to my great grandpaps with my dad and little sister

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod5
                    ccsmod5 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi,
                    Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like your living situation has been quite complicated, which must be stressful for you. If you would like to live somewhere else, it sounds like you do have a few options (friends, family members, other adults you trust). Another option to consider is a transitional living program, which can provide housing for up to 18 months are designed to help you learn life skills. If you have additional questions or would like to speak with us more specifically about your situation, you’re always welcome to call us at 1-800-786-2929. We wish you the best of luck and we hope you find a place that feels comfortable and safe for you.
                    Sincerely,
                    NRS

                • #10
                  I’m 14 by the way

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod7
                    ccsmod7 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,

                    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you doing so.

                    We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

                    We hope to hear from you soon.

                    Be safe,

                    NRS

                • #11
                  Hi there,
                  I'm 12 years old and doing online school but I haven't got motivated much so I didn't really do much this year. It was my first time doing online school and I didn't like it when we moved somewhere my grandpa even told him to put me in public school but he ignored and I am pretty close to my grandpa so we got along good. But public school started already and I still haven't got online school done. My parents got separated in 2016 but I had to live with my dad so everything was challenging without my mom and I was pretty close to her. I got to see her twice a year so that was good. Now I have to live with my sister which we were never close because my dad is in the Philippines spending his time over there with her for the first time but I told him he should bring her to the U.S but he ignored I was pretty close to him since we had to live with each other. My sister just got into a fight with her boyfriend yesterday and just screamed at me for no reason and that made me pretty sad. I just got back from spending the weekend with my grandpa and my uncles which are both 14 and 16 because he got remarried. As soon as I walk in the door my sister is questioning me and mouthing at me for no reason, so I went upstairs to my room to talk to my grandpa about it and he said he would come down here and get me but I said don't because I have to talk to my dad.

                  Then I went online to look for some advice and I saw your statement and I realized I'm not alone

                  I also need some advice too. My life is a struggle I've been pushed around like a dog basically with everything and my grandpa said I should live with him and go to school there but I don't know.
                  Last edited by ccsmod15; 09-23-2018, 02:51 PM.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod15
                    ccsmod15 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi,

                    It can be difficult to ask for help and we are so glad you reached out to us today. It sounds like you have been moved around a lot and are having trouble with your current living situation. You are not alone, and we are here to support you. In addition to being available by bulletin, we have a 24/7 hotline and are always here to provide additional resources and support (1-800-786-2929.)

                    If you are interested in finding someone you can talk to, we can help you find counseling resources. We can also help moderate a conference call between you and a caregiver to discuss enrolling in public school.

                    It sounds like this a challenging time but we are here to help you.

                    Good luck,
                    NRS

                • #12
                  I want to live with someone else and they go to my church I can’t stand it where I live anymore help me get out

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod9
                    ccsmod9 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. Our hope is to help get you resources and tips to help you in any way we can. From what we gather about your situation it seems like you no longer want to live at home. Unfortunately going to live with someone else can be hard. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. If you have experienced abuse it might be a good idea to contact the National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-422-4453. However living with someone else would require permission of your parent. It might be a good idea to speak with the person you plan on staying with and see if you can ask them to help you talk with your parents on your behalf. We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
                    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
                    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
                    Be safe,
                    NRS
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